Scene 5 #2
Sullivan seems contemplative on our walk to the creek, so I don’t pester him.
If I did, he’d probably make me carry the poles, so I don’t mind letting him have a little bit of thinking time.
But when we arrive, I can’t stop my excitement when I hear the trickling water and smell the earthy dampness. I love this place.
“Mind your step,” he cautions with a hand to my elbow. “The bank’s a bit slippery.”
I scoff but allow him to escort me to our favorite spot. “You act like I haven’t been down here almost as much as you my entire life. And if I recall correctly”—which I absolutely do—“it was you who slipped here before I ever did.”
A smile cracks his stony face, and now I can relax. This is the Sully I want to see more of.
We fish for an hour or so, but the fish aren’t very interested in being caught. So after we collect five of the very best rocks for Cecily, we give up and lean back against a tree to count the turtles as they peek over the water’s surface.
“I’ve been thinking,” he says after a while.
I elbow him. “Oh, you have? Shall I send an announcement to the paper that Sullivan Shay finally had an original thought?”
“You’re such a smart alec, you know that?
With sharp, bony elbows.” There’s no bite in his tone as he rubs his side.
Just a quiet humor that matches his quiet personality.
But then it fades back into his usual seriousness right before he drops something unexpected on me.
“I’m thinking about leaving Hope’s Stand. ”
Dumbfounded, I stare at him. But he just looks out over the water. “What do you mean, leave Hope’s Stand?”
“I can’t stay here anymore. I’ve got to go.”
“Go? Go where?” And what’s so important that he thinks he has to leave me?
“Shit.” He stands, running a hand through his dark blond hair with a perturbed movement as he takes a moment to find his words. “I’ve got to find my parents.”
He’s never come up with the best of jokes, but this has got to be the worst one yet. “Okay, I take back my announcement to the paper. Our parents are back at the house, right where we left them.”
Sullivan turns to me, and the uneasiness on his face makes me too nervous to sit. “I don’t mean those parents. I mean the ones I had before them.”
“Did you hit your head on something?” I poke his forehead beneath his dirty blond curls to see if he has any knots, but he grabs my finger. There has to be one somewhere for him to be this crazy. “Warren and Mara Shay are your parents. You have two younger sisters named Emmaline and Cecily.”
There’s a bittersweet twist to his lips when he says, “I’m not your brother. At least not by blood.”
“What do you mean? Don’t joke like that.” I laugh shakily, but when he stares back at me with no trace of amusement, my heart drops into my stomach. “Sully?”
“I’m sorry, Emma, but it’s true.”
“No.” I shake my head in denial until dizziness makes me stop.
But Sullivan doesn’t lie. He never has. If there were a first place prize for truthtelling, he’d be the only one to win it every single time.
And if he says he’s not my brother...that he has another set of parents somewhere… “That can’t be.”
“Emma.”
The heartbreak ripping me to shreds is mirrored on his face as I slowly back up, but I don’t let it soften me. It’s all his fault for saying something like that. Whirling around, I scramble up the bank. Or try to. Of all the damn days for it to be so slippery.
“Emma,” he says calmly. “Come back here and let’s talk.”
“I’m going home.” I hate how my voice warbles on the last word. “You can just…just…stay here in your stupid woods since apparently you’re not my brother anymore.” The words cut my tongue as soon as I say them, but I swallow the guilt down because it’s too late to take them back.
Footsteps sound behind me, gaining ground. Of course he wouldn’t have as much trouble catching up with his stupid long legs. “Leave me alone,” I snap, trying to keep my voice sharp enough to hide my tears from him. “I can get home by myself. I’m not stupid.”
“I know you’re not stupid, Emma. And I’m not leaving you alone because then I can’t keep you safe.”
“Oh yeah?” I yell, whirling around. “What about the times you go camping in the woods to get rid of your nightmares instead of letting me sleep in your room with you? Or leaving town for days? That doesn’t sound like not leaving me alone.
Neither does leaving Hope’s Stand for good.
” He grabs my arm, but I’m ready to fight. “Don’t you touch me.”
“Let me explain,” he says with a level of patience that makes me want to hit him.
“There’s nothing to explain. I won’t believe anything you say until I talk to Momma and Papa.” With that, I yank my arm back. But he doesn’t let go, and I promptly lose my footing. “Oh!”
We both hit the ground, and for a moment, the breath is knocked out of me. No, that’s because he landed on top of me. God, he’s heavy.
“Get off me, Sullivan Shay!” Just speaking the name he says isn’t his adds to my fury. “Oh wait, I forgot that’s not even your real name.”
“I’m still a Shay, goddammit,” he bellows, finally losing his saintly calm as he pins my arms above my head. “Just be still and listen to me.”
I buck underneath him, determined to wiggle free when I begrudgingly surmise that freeing my wrists from his grip is impossible, but I don’t make any headway. Then he makes it worse by lowering his weight to force me to stop moving.
Why is he so strong? I’ve seen him without his shirt and knew he had muscles everywhere, but I do my own fair share of work around the farm, so I shouldn’t be panting like a dog while he’s not even out of breath.
I renew my efforts, twisting and squirming even harder.
“If you don’t let me up, I’m never speaking to you again. ”
“Be reasonable, Emma.” Sullivan throws his legs over mine to stop me from using them as leverage. Then I freeze.
So does he.
Because with his legs straddling mine, there’s not much space between the rest of our bodies. I’m probably not the only one suddenly very aware of his lower half pressed to mine. And the way his eyes lock on to—I glance down, and…
Oh my.
I’m only trying to take in air, but my breasts are absolutely obscene with how they follow each rapid rise and fall of my chest.
“Sullivan?” I know my eyes must be round with shock. But his are lowered, kind of like he’s sleepy. He makes a choked sound and drags in a harsh breath as I test his grip with another halfhearted wiggle.
Even though Sully doesn’t move an inch, something between his legs definitely does.
And it’s not his belt buckle.
“Damn it.” He shoves off me and curtly says, “You shouldn’t be squirming like that.”
My mouth gapes. “Don’t you dare put the blame on me!
You had no right to be on top of me. And you were looking at my…
my…” I blush even thinking the word. I like the way my breasts fill out my dress.
I always have, because it makes me feel like a grown woman.
But now shame creeps over me when I wonder for two seconds—two seconds too long—if he liked the way they fill my dress out, too.
One big hand rakes through his hair. “Emma—”
“Don’t,” I interrupt, full of hurt with how he sighs my name in aggravation. “I’m going home. Just…just don’t follow me.”
But of course he stays right behind me as I march all the way home, because that’s who Sullivan is.
A silent, protective shadow dogging my every step.
Steps that are weighed down by the heaviness of his words and the unsettling feeling of what happened with him on top of me.
At least he’s smart enough to grant me silence if he won’t back down on giving me space.
And of course my tears come back when I replay everything he said.
How could he not be my brother? He’s in every one of my memories.
And different parents? He must be crazy.
When I finally reach the house, I storm up the porch steps and throw open the door, much to my parents’ surprise.
“Emmaline darlin’, what’s wrong?” Papa comes to his feet.
Dragging a frustrated hand over my wet cheeks, I glance around to make sure Cecily is still in her room before I blurt out, “I need you to tell me one thing and one thing only. Is Sully my real brother?”
My parents quickly glance at each other, and their stunned silence tells me everything I need to know. If it were true, they would laugh immediately and call me a silly goose for even thinking such a thing.
But they don’t.
Which means Sullivan still gets first prize for not telling a lie.
I whirl around, almost landing in Sullivan’s arms again with how closely he stands behind me.
But I sidestep him and run outside, barely hearing him tell them he’ll handle it.
Straight to my favorite tree I go, a thick oak with a tangle of low hanging branches, and clamber up to hide as my world crumbles around me.
How could they keep something as important as this from me? All three of them. For years!
“Move over.”
Biting my lip to stop the sob that wants to hiccup out, I peer down and find Sullivan looking up at me. All the hurt from before attacks me all over again, and I glare through blurry eyes. “No.”
His head tilts back while he mutters something under his breath, and it makes me mad when I can’t hear what he says.
It’s not like he’s the one who found out he’d just been betrayed by all the ones he’d held dear.
Right as I draw in a breath big enough for some scathing, choice words, he crosses his arms and pins me with his piercing gaze.
“I’m coming up. It’s up to you whether I sit on top of you or whether you scoot over six inches so I can sit beside you. ”
Ugh.
I’ve lived with him long enough to know he’ll make good on his threat, so I begrudgingly move to make room for him. When his dark blond hair pops into view again, my mouth dries and my heart triples its beating for some weird reason.