Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Summer finally came to an end, and a nice fall breeze danced through Helena’s hair as she lounged on the deck furniture with Grayson by her side, keeping her hand in his. His ring nestled safely on her finger, he moved her hand to and fro to watch it sparkle in the dusk. She would be his wife next year, they figured. With Daniel gone for the next three to five years, and a restraining order to take effect the second he got out, they were confident in their decision.
Helena and her mother finally had that talk, a long time coming. Her mother cried, blaming herself for never seeing, picking a horrible father for Helena, everything under the sun. But Helena reassured her distraught mother it was no one’s fault. No one but Daniel’s. And she would move on from this, emerging stronger and wiser.
Ray transferred the steaks to a plate from the grill, happily dancing to the music on the radio as her mother played with Emily, already sporting Halloween wear. Her brother and Ray Jr. were actually talking and seemed to be getting along for once. The only person missing was Jade. Helena rolled her eyes. She didn’t look forward to her grand entrance with her designer jackets and purses, smacking her gum.
Grayson talked her through it on the drive over, that no matter what was said, there could be no repeat of the first dinner. Helena and him would simply remove themselves in silent protest.
Helena peeked through the screen door to see the front door open, and the princess made her entrance. Only… she was somewhat modestly dressed today. Her usual clacking heels were replaced with ballet flats, and she wore a simple blouse and ripped jeans. Her long blue-black hair was messily pulled back in a ponytail, and even from afar Helena could tell she wasn’t sporting very much makeup. In fact, her eyes looked puffy. Had she… been crying?
She opened the screen door with a small smile, squeezing her way through not to let the dog out.
“Hey, guys.” She waved, even kneeling down to greet Emily.
At the same time, Helena and Grayson gave each other a look. She didn’t even have her phone in her hand.
“Hey, Helena.” She walked over and held out her arms. Helena respectfully got up and hugged her, albeit awkwardly.
Even Helena’s mother and brother froze.
“Listen, after dinner can you and I talk about something?” she whispered.
Helena realized she was squeezing her hand. Her blue eyes were wide and desperate, like she had seen a ghost. What was going on?
Helena glanced at Grayson, who nodded with silent permission as Emily jumped over to him to show him her new doll.
“Y-yeah, I guess?”
Helena remained guarded, plopping back down to gain access to Grayson’s hand again.
“What is that about?” He rubbed her palm with his thumb.
“I’m not sure, but I don’t like it.”
The family laughed and talked over dinner, everyone picking their own partner to sit and converse with as stories were shared back and forth. Helena modestly stayed quiet as the alien air around the usually tense family didn’t do much to put her at ease.
Ray Jr. helped put the dishes away and clean up, while Eddie cleaned the grill for the elder Ray, who’s bad knee had become worse in the last few months. Jade folded her hands in her lap, barely meeting Helena’s eyes. The table bounced along with her restless leg.
She looked like a nervous child who feared being in trouble.
“Do you want to have that talk now?”
“Yes!” In a flash, Jade had pulled her chair out and darted into the house.
With one last look at Grayson, he urged Helena on.
“Whatever it is, you’ll be okay.”
Helena followed her stepsister into the house.
“Can we talk in our old bedroom?” Jade pointed with her thumb.
Helena shifted her feet. She hated that room and the memories attached to it. She’d hated having to share that room with Jade as she verbally degraded her throughout their childhood. Helena made a point never to go back in that room.
“Jade, what is this about?”
“Trust me… it’s important.”
She wrung her hands. Helena began to worry and relented.
Once in the room, Jade made a visual sweep of the hall before closing the door. Helena became uneasy, squaring her shoulders and crossing her arms.
“Jade, enough! What is going on with you?”
Her stepsister sat on her old bed, perpendicular to Helena’s. The stark difference in the room was almost laughably obvious. Her side had all the old perfumes and jewels with bright vibrant colors and posters of the celebrities of their youth decorated on her side, right up to the unspoken divide on Helena’s side. That side was plain in comparison, but still reflected her teenage personality. With a black bed frame and vanity, her crystals decorated her little floating shelves, with bats and eclectic portraits on her side.
“Um… it’s about the dinner. I—”
Helena held up a hand. “Jade, I don’t want to talk about that, it happened months ago. It’s over.”
“No, please! It’s more than that!”
Helena noticed Jade’s knuckles turned white as she gripped her old duvet. Jade’s shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath.
“I knew about you and Daniel… because I was with him too.” She squinted her eyes shut, like she had just pulled a trigger.
“You… what? ” Helena’s arms dropped, and she had to lean on something. Choosing her old vanity stool, she collapsed.
“I met him a year and a half ago at a bar. He was so charming and handsome… one thing led to another and—” Jade’s eyes were downcast.
Helena bit the inside of her cheek as the memories of him came back that she had worked so hard to work through.
“He would meet me at hotels if I was away for work. I used to think how romantic it was that he would drive all that way just to see me and spend time with me. But it was always the same…” Her lips curled into a frown.
“You’d fall into bed with him, and once he got what he wanted—” Helena trailed off, not wishing to put words in Jade’s mouth. After a moment when Jade remained silent, Helena continued, “He’d leave. Promising you could spend time together another day. Using you however he wanted… no matter how much he hurt you?”
It wasn’t so much of a question, as it was a confirmation. A subtle way to see if her information matched up.
“Physically?” Helena asked quietly.
Jade nodded.
“Emotionally?”
Another nod. A tear began to run down her cheek.
“Oh, Jesus.” Helena let her head fall into her hands.
Jade’s nose and cheeks red, she used her sleeves to wipe her face.
“I had just gotten back into town one day. I passed by that strip mall and saw his van. I was going to flag him down. But then… you got out. I didn’t want to believe it at first. I thought ‘maybe it’s a mistake, it couldn’t be him’. Then he pulled off… and I saw that shit-eating grin on his face.” Angry lines that didn’t usually belong there appeared on her perfect skin.
“I was so hurt. I felt so stupid. I took it out on everyone around me because I wanted someone to hurt the way I hurt. That’s why I said what I said at dinner.”
Helena pressed her lips in a thin line, hearing her stepsister’s confession teetered between her feeling sorry for Jade and even angrier with her.
“Jade, that was no reason to treat me the way you did. I told you at the dinner, there was a reason I never brought him home.”
“Because he kept you at arm’s length.”
As her stepsister repeated the same tactics Daniel had used on herself, Helena began to break down. It was like looking in a mirror. She had to suppress the urge to hug her.
“Then one day, it got the best of me. I did some digging and found his home number. A woman answered. Then I heard a baby in the background and I knew.” Her shaky hand rubbed her temple. She took a throw pillow and hugged it to her belly.
Jade had had no clue Daniel was a married man. He had played and manipulated her just as he did to Helena.
With that realization, Helena got up and sat next to her sister. For the first time, she saw Jade as vulnerable. The walls had come down.
“Jade, he used those same lines and tactics on me, you, and probably countless other women. He was sick. He was the kind of man who needed a shiny new toy constantly. It’s like an addiction, and addicts go to great lengths to hide their secrets. At times, it felt like I was addicted to him. I knew he was volatile, I knew that he was hurting me. But I chased the high of how good he could make me feel, even if it didn’t last.”
As Helena repeated her deepest, darkest feelings, Jade listened. Really listened. Like it was her worst fear come true.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! I should have warned you when I saw you together. Because I saw how you walked back to your car. You looked so broken… and I saw myself. I should have been a sister and told you right then and there that it was happening to me too. Instead, I chose to be vindictive, thinking he would choose me. I don’t even think he knew we were sisters. And if he did, that’s sick.”
Jade almost gagged as she rubbed her throat.
Sisters. Helena contemplated the foreign title. She had never thought of Jade as her sister, or even part of her family at all.
“And then I turn on the news, and I see that he’s been arrested for breaking and entering. My dad calls me saying a crazed ex broke into your apartment. Helena… if I thought for even one second he would do something like that, I swear I would have—” Jade could say no more as she began to sob on Helena’s shoulder.
She blamed herself for what Daniel had done.
“Jade, I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry it happened to both of us, neither of us deserved it. But we never saw each other as sisters. I really don’t know how we would have even approached the subject.”
In the past, Helena avoided Jade at all costs. Would she have even believed her if she confronted her?
“That’s my fault too. I didn’t want a new family. When my mom left, I wanted it to be just me, Dad and Ray Jr. But then he met your mom and suddenly, I had two more siblings and a mom I didn’t want. I’d had one and she left. So, I took out all that rage and abandonment on everyone around me.” She shook her head. “So fucking stupid.”
“It’s not stupid. Because I felt the same way about your dad and you guys. If my dad decided to leave, then I wanted no father at all. I never really even tried to get to know you or Junior, or your dad. If I closed myself off, I couldn’t get close.”
Jade looked up, wiping her face.
“So… all this time, we actually could have helped each other, but our prides got in the way and kept us from even trying?”
Helena burst into laughter, throwing her head back as she covered her mouth. Jade followed, laughing through her tears. She caught a glimpse of them in the mirror, a messy mixture of laughing and tears and snot.
“We’re almost thirty. How long have we spent hating each other?” Helena snickered.
Jade looked up and dried her eyes, which were leaking now because of laughter. “We met when we were ten. Almost twenty years now?”
Twenty years.
That was way too long to harbor hate of any kind. The utter stupidity.
“Look, I know it’s probably way too late to act like a real sister now. But could I maybe… start over?” Jade shrunk her head in her shoulders, as if almost afraid of even asking.
“Fresh start?” Helena stood up and held out her hand for a shake.
Jade stood, now matching her height without the high-fashion heels.
“Fresh start.”
They embraced for the first time as sisters instead of enemies.
Hours later, the family was enjoying coffee in the living room, watching Emily perform some interpretive dance with her pink scarf. Helena sat by Grayson, silently counting down the days until she could have their baby.
“Everything okay with you and Jade, baby?” he murmured in her ear.
Her sister smiled at her from across the room. A genuine smile.
“Yeah. We’re okay.”