Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
DAKOTA
I saw Mila pull into the parking lot right as my shift ended, but she didn’t hop out of her car as I’d expected. She remained safely inside of her beat up silver SUV. And there was not a push up bra in sight.
I waved bye to Eric, then pushed out the door into the darkening evening, the cool air kissing my cheeks, precipitation looming. After I yanked on the passenger door handle a few times, Mila finally managed to stretch over the seat and yank up the latch.
“I’m chickening out,” she said the moment I got in the car. “Just—shhhh.” Mila held her finger up, preemptively shutting down my questions about her plans to seduce my manager by showing her tits.
“Okayyyyy,” I said. “Next time.”
“It’s gonna happen. I fucking swear.” She pulled out of the lot, accelerating as I buckled my seat belt. “And then you’ll all be sorry.”
“I literally don’t even know who you’re talking about. Who are you all.”
“My haters, obviously.”
“Right. Gotcha.” I nodded exaggeratedly, holding in my giggles. “Of course.”
“My failure to seduce the hottest Gen X man in Washington aside, how was your shift? How’s your weekend been?”
I looked out the window at the spruce trees blurring past, not entirely sure how to answer her.
Well, I found out a literal demon is probably hunting me, I’m failing half of my classes, my professor is a liar who wants to punish me for cheating on him, and the man I’ve been cheating on him with is also a nightmare.
“It was alright. I’m really tired recently, though. Need more sleep,” I answered, settling on the simplest version of the truth. I was exhausted. And now that I’d actually left the gas station, I was starting to get a pit in my stomach.
“Me too. Are you sleeping over?”
“If that’s okay?” My eyes slid over to her side profile and she grinned, partially loosening the knot in my chest.
“Of course.”
I was dreading the moment when Micah showed up at the gas station in thirty minutes and found me gone. I regretted lying to him about it now. Somehow, I always ended up making the wrong choice, doing the wrong thing, hurting people, hurting myself.
Plus, if there was a real threat on my life, I was probably safer with him than Mila. But I couldn’t think about that now. I shoved it all to the back of my mind. I’ll deal with it later, just like every other thing currently going wrong in my life.
He’s lying, too.
Mila turned the music up and we sang along to it for the rest of the ride.
At her apartment, Ivan had Katya over and they were watching reruns of The Office on the TV in the living room, a frozen pizza baking in the oven.
Mila dragged me into her bedroom and switched on her salt lamp, casting the room in a soft orange glow, like a sunset.
I dumped my bag on the ground and kicked off my boots, then joined her sitting criss-cross on her bed.
“Do you want me to order food?” she questioned, holding her phone up and waving it around, beaded charm dangling from her phone case.
“I mean, if you’re ordering something, yeah.
I can pay you back,” I offered, nerves making my fingers fidget on her fluffy comforter.
I couldn’t afford the extra delivery charge or the increased prices on food apps, but I’d feel guilty letting Mila pay for it.
There wasn’t much of value left at my trailer for me to sell, so my income was limited.
Working in the lab with Micah hadn’t helped as much as I’d hoped.
“Zayka.” She leveled me with a scolding look. “Don’t be fucking dumb. I’m paying for it. I want Chinese food.”
My cheeks were warm, but I just nodded, grateful.
“We can share something—the portions are huge here. Fried rice okay with you?” Mila asked as she pressed buttons on her phone.
She still had her navy blue scrubs on. “Unfortunately, you have to be okay with teriyaki chicken because that’s the only thing I’m willing to get right now. I’ve been craving it all day.”
“That is perfectly fine with me.” I nodded, gripping my phone tighter. My throat constricted when I tried to swallow. “I love you, you know that?”
“I love you more.” Mila winked.
I leaned back against the wall, tugging a leopard print fuzzy pillow onto my lap. My phone buzzed the moment I got comfortable, and I snatched it up too quickly, dread already heavy in my gut.
Mason
I’m picking you up
I huffed out a breath, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. At least it wasn’t Micah. He was going to be so mad at me. Plus, Mason didn’t know where I was right now, so it wasn’t like his message meant anything to me.
Me
Feel free
He was more than welcome to show up at my trailer—it would be empty.
If he felt compelled to wait all the way until the morning when Mila inevitably dropped me back off, he could do that.
By morning, I’d hopefully be a bit more stable than I was now.
A night with Mila, Chinese food, a horror movie I’d already watched, and a few shots of Russian Standard chased with blue Gatorade usually did me good. It’d been too long.
Mason
Great. See you soon
Me
Yup
Mason
Micah isn’t going to let you sleep at your friend’s place tonight. That’s why I’m coming to get you
My heart skipped several beats.
I blinked, sitting up straighter, eyes wide on my screen. What the fuck? I checked—yep, that motherfucker shared my location with himself again.
It was also shared with Micah.
When did either of them do this?
I quickly unshared it with both of them, then swallowed hard.
Maybe I should leave it shared… Mila glanced up from her phone at me, and there wasn’t much I could do to hide the way my cheeks had paled in the past sixty seconds, or the way I wasn’t quite breathing correctly anymore.
My eyes flicked down to my glowing phone screen again.
Thoughts warring in my skull, I typed out my response.
Me
I despise you. Can you at least tell me how many minutes away you are?
Most of me hated Mason for taking this night from me, for taking away my chance to reset and fix myself. But the other, darker parts were happy he still wanted me. He wasn’t letting me leave him, just like he promised he wouldn’t.
Anything was better than that. It had to be.
Right?
We’re terrible together, but at least we’re together.
The pain of being with Mason was better than the pain of being without him. If I was destined to hurt, I’d rather have this wound than the other one. The one that reminded me of my brother.
Weeks with him away at college, weeks spent alone in my bedroom hearing the screaming through the thin walls, dozens of unanswered texts, a pit in my stomach every day, no appetite, all because I’d dared to show him a sliver of my actual emotions…
Mason
I haven’t left yet. You need a minute?
My lips twisted to the side, and I bit the inside of my cheek, chewing on the flesh until I tasted iron. Mila put her hand on my knee, and I peered over at her.
“Is something going on?” she questioned, her brown eyes wide and sincere.
“Uh—yeah. Yeah. Someone is going to pick me up in a little bit.”
“Who? Are you replacing me?” Mila made a face of faux offense.
“Never. It’s a guy I’ve been hooking up with.” The words came out too easily and I realized too late how they were going to change things.
Now she did look a little bit upset, and I felt bad about that.
I hadn’t meant to keep it from her, but the whole situation was so strange, and not necessarily good in any way at all.
Also, she likely wasn’t going to remember Micah for long if I tried to talk about him, so it wasn’t like I could articulate the entire relationship to her.
“Who?”
“Just a guy. It’s not serious.” Not serious. As if he hadn’t made me believe he was going to kill me more than once.
“But he’s taking you from me.” She pouted, sticking out her lower lip. I could see a bit of real sadness under her playful expression. I hated it. “And I just ordered our food.” Mila turned her phone to face me, showing the proof of our delivery order being prepared now.
“Trust me, I would much rather stay here with you,” I sighed, then realized how the words sounded.
Not good, because I was going to leave, and I sounded far from excited about it.
He was fucking up my mind. “But, um…” How was I supposed to spin this?
Mason was somehow capable of harming every other relationship in my life, even in his absence.
I wished I could redo this entire conversation.
“Dakota?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head, feeling weird about the whole thing. “I didn’t mean to say it like that. I’m going to stay here and eat with you, then he’ll pick me up. His name is Mason, and we’ve only hooked up a few times. I like him, but he’s a bit possessive sometimes.”
“The good type of possessive?” she questioned, turning off her phone and setting it down, putting all her attention on me, tucking her shiny brown hair behind her ears. “Are you okay? You never told me about him.”
The telltale pressure behind my eyes arrived way too fast with her question, and I blinked quickly to clear the wetness. Are you okay?
No. I’m not. Not even a little bit.
“I’m okay,” I said. “I didn’t tell you because I don’t think it’s going to last.” I took a deep breath, feeling the truth in my second statement.
That wasn’t the reason I never told Mila about Mason, but that didn’t make what I’d said any less true.
We weren’t going to last. “He has a nice dick, though. I’m not suffering. ”
“Okay, only if you’re sure.” Mila was still watching my face, and it was making me feel guilty. “I just want you to be safe.”
“I’m safe. Promise. Just getting fucked by a douchebag.” I forced a short laugh.
“I’ll choose to believe you on that, but would you share your location with me? Now that I know about this Mason guy, I want to know where you are in case anything happens.”
“I’ll share it with you. Can we move on, though?” An uncomfortable sensation was crawling along under my skin, like I was lying to her. Which I was, in a way. Lying by omission.
And just lying in general.