Chapter 65
CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE
DAKOTA
Micah was asleep only moments after his head hit the pillow, his eyelids twitching while he dreamed. I watched him, hardly blinking, terrified he’d disappear again if I took my eyes off of him. I still couldn’t stop my tears from forming.
I had no idea what had caused him to come back, and I was completely, paralyzingly afraid that he would be stolen from me again at any second. It wasn’t the shark teeth, but I couldn’t think of what else was different between today and all the other days I’d tried that same imaginary ritual.
It didn’t take long before the bedroom door opened and Mason entered, making my pulse jump. I climbed off the bed silently, going over to him, motioning to be quiet. He just nodded, already understanding, bringing his hands up to gently hold my face.
We stared at each other, exhaustion making our eyelids heavy and our irises dull.
People like us shouldn’t be together.
We’ll just keep sinking forever.
There’s not a bottom to this darkness, no depth at which we can try to acclimate.
I know that now.
With Micah back, we had to face what we’d done to each other, had to face all the ways our relationship had shattered in his absence.
Somehow, we were more broken than before, more cracks in our reflections, more darkness in our blood.
I’d always known we couldn’t last forever, but I’d never expected to be forced headfirst into that future so quickly and inarguably.
Now, we were sitting in a strange aftermath.
My brain was full of all the terrible words he’d said to me over the past months, all of the awful things I’d screamed back at him, all of the pain and hurt and misery and anguish.
I thought of all the ways we’d destroyed ourselves and each other.
All the sex we’d tried to have that only made me feel disgusting afterwards.
But through it all, my heart kept beating. I kept loving him, and he kept loving me.
It was the most toxic sort of love, something most people wouldn’t understand, but it was still there. I still loved him with my whole soul, even though it hurt.
All I could do now was pray we’d be able to recover from darkness that absolute.
Mason wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me to his body, my own arms raising to hug him back. I could hear his heart with my ear pressed to his chest. Still beating. If nothing else, at least I’d kept him alive.
“I love you,” he said, his voice low and quiet, almost hopeless in a way. As if he’d already given up but had committed to giving me the comfort I needed in this moment. It scared me a bit. I didn’t want him to sound like that. “So much. And I’m sorry.”
“I love you, too,” I whispered. “Do you think we can get through this?”
He was quiet.
“I don’t want to talk about it, though. Not now,” I continued, eliminating the space he’d left in our conversation. I hugged him tighter and he did the same to me, his strong arms encircling me steadily. Tears stung my eyes.
“Me neither.”
“Micah is the first priority.”
Mason didn’t say anything to that, but he began stroking my hair, lightly running his fingers through the strands, setting his chin on top of my head.
Micah.
Micah was alive now. Sleeping in his bed.
Mason and I both looked over at him.
He was so fucking beautiful. I would never let him slip away from me again.