Chapter 10 #4
It was a fair question, because nothing about Ramsey ever screamed, I’m unsure and uncomfortable.
The guy seemed to own every situation he was in, sliding easily into each and every one.
But Nate could never stop wondering deep down if that was because it was true, or if it was because Ramsey wanted everyone to believe it was.
What good was seeing through some of Ramsey’s walls if he couldn’t figure that one out?
“No reason,” Nate said, and then Levi opened the door.
“Hey guys,” Levi said warmly, tugging first Ramsey and then Nate in for quick hugs. “So good to see you. Especially here. Together.”
“Can we like . . .uh . . .not make that a big deal?” Nate murmured under his breath as Ramsey headed towards the living room, carrying their beer contribution.
Levi tilted his head. “Why would you not want to make a big deal out of it? Man, you got that guy. I’d be crowing about it from the rooftops.” He paused. “Well, frankly, I have crowed about it from the rooftops.”
Levi sure fucking had. He’d bagged Aidan Flynn and even a few months in, basically never wanted anyone to forget it. An adorable combination of smug ego and uncomplicated awe.
“Yeah, you really have,” Nate said, hoping that would be the end of it and Levi would let him off the hook.
But before Nate could head after Ramsey into the living room, Levi caught his arm. “Seriously, though, bro, why wouldn’t you?”
“It’s just . . .uh . . .complicated.”
Levi frowned. “I was under the impression it was not complicated. That you were dating. Like nothing super serious, but like, enjoying each other.”
Of course Aidan had told Levi his suspicions from earlier today. About how they were apparently constantly fucking all their feelings out. Well, maybe it was good that he and Ramsey had established that in this fake relationship of theirs, they were definitely having sex.
“Uh, yeah, right. Of course. Definitely.” Nate inwardly grimaced.
Levi nudged him, chuckling. “Say less, bro.”
They’d been moving towards the living room, where Aidan and Levi had fit about twenty large football players—well, nineteen large football players and one semi-large hockey player—and Ramsey, talking to Dawson and Cam, glanced up as Nate walked over.
“There you are,” Ramsey said, the way he looked over at Nate proprietary and the hand that he set against his waist even more.
Nate might not have noticed, but he was too used to cataloging every minute shift that crossed over Ramsey’s beautiful face.
“Here I am,” Nate said, letting himself sink further than he normally would into Ramsey’s touch. Right now, it was not only allowed, it was welcomed.
“Was wondering when we’d see you,” Dawson said, smirking.
“You saw me for hours earlier today,” Nate pointed out.
Dawson’s pointed glance snagged on where Nate and Ramsey were touching. “Not like this.”
Cam nudged his boyfriend. “What he means is we’re happy for you two. It was inevitable.”
“It was?” Ramsey gazed up at Nate with wide, innocent eyes. Clearly playing. Nate knew enough to know that much.
It was cute, damnit. It was so fucking cute.
“You both know it was,” Dawson said, laughing. “From the moment Nate decided he didn’t like you, we all knew it meant something else.”
Nate swallowed hard. He’d worried about how much he’d like this, but they’d been here less than ten minutes, and he was already swamped with a desire for this to be how it was, all the time.
For Ramsey to gaze up at him with his blue eyes and mean every bit of surprise and awe in them. Like he hadn’t expected it either, but he should have known that they’d end up here either way.
“What did it mean, huh?” Ramsey asked him. Still looking at him that way.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Nate said, unconvincingly.
Could someone be terrible and fucking awesome at this at the exact same time?
Ramsey just nudged him, shooting him a brilliant, private smile. “Yeah, you do.”
Yeah, he did.
“I thought—” What he’d actually thought was that Ramsey had lied to him.
Had been in on the joke and the only one standing on the outside was Nate.
Like he’d wanted and wanted and wanted, but Ramsey had been perfectly okay just walking right out the door.
But Nate couldn’t say any of that. “I thought I wanted to know him and he wasn’t going to let me,” he finally said.
Ramsey’s expression softened. “Back then I definitely wasn’t going to.”
Was he talking about June? Or was he talking about when they’d met again? Was it the truth? Was it a lie? With Ramsey, it was impossible to know.
But Ramsey wasn’t done. “But now?” He shot Nate a smile that Nate would believe, one hundred out of one hundred times, was real. “Now I want to let you.”
Nate’s throat tightened. He couldn’t come up with a lie fast enough. So he just tugged Ramsey in even closer, his arm settling around Ramsey’s waist, like it belonged there.
Ramsey tipped his head up, and Nate didn’t know if he was the worst actor in the world, or the best.
“Aw, you two are disgusting and adorable. I told you,” Dawson said, nudging Cam. “I feel like you owe me at least three dinners for arguing with me.”
“Me?” Cam just laughed. “I told you, but you said they just wanted to get each other into bed.”
Ramsey’s hand slid up his back. “Maybe we did,” he teased. Tucked his head half into Nate’s chest. They’d agreed on casual touching, but this felt a lot more than just casual.
Purposeful, and not just because Dawson and Cam and a dozen of his teammates were watching.
“Hey, you two,” Aidan said, calling over. “Stop flirting and come over here. You’re both up in the next round.”
“Oh, is this actually a serious tournament?” Nate asked. Somehow his hand had ended up tangled up in Ramsey’s. They’d done that before, just the two of them, but it felt like more now, meaningful to be doing it in front of everyone, in a way that it hadn’t before.
Aidan just shrugged. “What’s serious?”
But Levi nudged him, laughing with delight. “This is Aidan. Does he know how to do things that aren’t serious? He made a whole chart and there’s a ranking and everything. Seeding, even.”
“Where’d you put me?” Nate asked, not surprised in the least.
“On the bottom,” Aidan said primly, and Nate spluttered.
“Feels unfair,” Ramsey murmured, pressing the side of his body against Nate’s. Supportive, that was all it was. But Nate was having trouble believing it.
“You good for playing?” Aidan asked Ramsey.
“Okay if I just watch? Haven’t played in awhile—” He broke off, and Nate knew what he wasn’t saying. He hadn’t played video games since his concussion.
“You can be my lucky charm, baby,” Nate said, glancing down at Ramsey. He told himself it was just a distraction from Ramsey’s admission, but as Ramsey gazed back, Nate wasn’t convinced that was true.
What was even true anymore. Were they doing this to make his teammates and Ramsey’s friends more comfortable? Or were they doing this because they wanted to do this?
“Yeah, he sure can,” Dawson called out. “Gonna give him a good luck kiss too?”
Nate stiffened. That was the one line he couldn’t cross. He already knew he couldn’t. He’d told Ramsey they couldn’t.
But Ramsey was Ramsey, unbelievably quick. Always landing on his feet, like a cat. “Come on,” he said, voice dropping into a seductive purr that made Nate’s tongue thick in his mouth. “I’m gonna give you a really good kiss.”
Nate froze.
Before Nate could protest though, or Ramsey could lean down and actually do it, he was tugging him aside down the hall. Out of sight.
Like whatever good luck kiss Ramsey was gonna give him was gonna be so good he didn’t want anyone else to see.
“Sorry,” Ramsey murmured into Nate’s neck as Nate pressed him into the wall.
If anyone peaked around the corner, they’d see them five seconds out from a heated embrace. Theoretically.
“Don’t be,” Nate reassured. “It’s . . .I’m okay.”
“Are you?”
Nate squeezed his eyes shut. He wasn’t okay. He wanted him. Cock embarrassingly hardening in his jeans from a little flirting, and even the suggestion that he could kiss Ramsey.
“I will be,” Nate said roughly.
He knew he should take a step back. Get some air. Get some fucking perspective.
But Ramsey was so perfect like this, caged in by Nate’s bigger body. Those blue eyes on his face, like they couldn’t look away even if they wanted to.
Ramsey reached up and tapped his cheek with his fingertips. “I wouldn’t have.”
And that was the thing; Nate knew he wouldn’t have crossed the line. He didn’t know when it had happened, but he trusted that. Trusted Ramsey.
Considering how long he’d carried his frustration and resentment for what had happened on the night they’d met, that was astounding.
But not really all that surprising. He’d been heading here, every time they’d seen each other since.
“I know,” Nate said. “I trust you.”
Ramsey’s face softened, astonishment in his eyes. “You do?”
He shouldn’t say it. Should swallow it back. But he couldn’t help it. “I think . . .I think I am getting to know you.”
Nate watched as Ramsey swallowed hard. But he didn’t look away. “Maybe you are,” he admitted.
Nate knew he should say something else. Puncture this mood, anyway. Yank them both back to the land of sanity. Remind them they were just faking this whole thing.
But before he could, Levi poked his head around the corner, sly grin on his face. “Y’all are too much,” he said. “You should be relieved Aidan sent me instead of himself. He’d dump cold water all over you.”
Nate wanted to laugh and say, maybe we need it, but he didn’t. Instead he stepped away. Couldn’t look at Ramsey, the long, gorgeous line of him up against the wall.
“Good thing you did,” Ramsey said lightly. He gave Nate a playful shove the rest of the way. “I think you’re definitely going to win now, baby.”
Nate wasn’t so sure about that. His brain still felt submerged in what had just happened between them.
What he’d almost done. Because sure enough, when he let himself think about it, he’d been not even twenty seconds away from saying, fuck everything and kissing Ramsey, despite everything he’d said he didn’t want to do.
“I think so too,” Nate lied.
But still, when he finally got into the living room, among the catcalls and pointed comments, he surprised himself by winning the whole goddamn tournament.
The whole time, Ramsey gazed at him, knowing, and Nate wasn’t sure that he’d been wrong, after all.