Chapter 13 #2
“I know.” Ramsey wasn’t going to go into how it had been so much more than only circumstances out of Wes and Marcus’ control. Wes didn’t want to hear that right now.
“That’s why I’m so worried about you.”
“It’s sweet, but I’m good, thanks,” Ramsey said bluntly.
Wes gave an exaggerated sigh. “You think you’re good.”
Ramsey wasn’t going to go into detail about how the last few weeks hadn’t been legit so they’d only just started dating. He couldn’t say he wouldn’t ever be serious about Nate but right now? He was still trying to wrap his mind around that they were actually doing this for real.
He wasn’t sure when he’d actually be able to rejoin the team in Buffalo, and he didn’t know if Nate would even want to keep dating.
Maybe he’d get sick of Ramsey’s bullshit.
That wouldn’t be very surprising, especially because, like Ramsey had confessed last night, he didn’t think he’d be very good at this.
“I don’t know anything yet,” Ramsey said with exaggerated patience. “We just started doing this.”
“Weeks ago,” Wes retorted.
“Yes, yes, weeks ago, definitely.” Ramsey was never going to be able to come clean. But maybe he could distract Wes. “Which is why I think I need some help.”
“Some help?” Wes sounded unamused as he turned back to the coffee machine.
It was the only indication Wes hadn’t slept well last night.
Ramsey wanted to ask him if it was because he’d had bad, restless thoughts or if it had been his absence that had thrown Wes.
But he didn’t ask, because again, sometimes it was better not to know the answers to questions you weren’t ready to ask.
“I mean, yeah. You know how to date someone. You dated Marcus forever, and you two were happy.”
Wes shot him a look.
“What? You were. I’m not even suggesting anything here, only stating facts.”
“Sure you are,” Wes said steadily.
“I’m just saying, you’re really good at this dating thing.” Ramsey was not going to bring up that if he’d actually been that good at it, maybe he and Marcus could’ve made it work despite life and circumstances both being a bitch. “And I could use some help in that department.”
Wes leaned against the back counter. Watching as his coffee brewed. “You’re asking for advice. Dating advice.”
“Who else am I gonna ask?”
“It’s not that I think there’s a better person to ask. It’s shocking that you acknowledge there’s something in the world that you’re not good at.”
Ramsey huffed out a sharp breath. “If I was really that egotistical, I would never get better at anything.”
“Oh, please. You came out of the womb brilliant at a whole list of things. It’s one of the most annoying things about you.”
“I know,” Ramsey agreed. “I don’t know why anyone likes me. I’m insufferable.”
Wes laughed, finally. First laugh he’d gotten out of him since he’d gotten home, and clearly Wes had been braced for the discussion, same as Ramsey had been.
Ramsey just hadn’t anticipated that he’d needed to be prepared for the angle Wes had ultimately taken. And he should have. He’d just been . . .well, to use Wes’ annoying terminology, happy.
“You are,” Wes agreed, but now he was smiling too. “What do you want to know?”
“I want to be good at dating. Nate deserves my best, and since I’ve never done it before, that doesn’t seem likely.”
“Has he complained?” Wes asked archly.
“Please,” Ramsey said.
“I know, that was a stupid question.”
“But he might,” Ramsey added.
“Maybe someday,” Wes said, still sounding amused. “And if he does, just give him a blowjob to shut him up. Those, you are good at.”
“This is not helpful.” He had at least expected that Wes would have some good advice for him, and it would distract Wes from what was going on. But the problem was Ramsey’s questions had only served to narrow Wes in even more tightly.
“Well, give me a specific thing you aren’t sure about, and maybe I can be more helpful,” Wes said.
“I . . .I want to plan a date.” He didn’t, actually.
He and Nate’s non-dates—grabbing takeout and eating on the couch, holding hands or with Nate’s arm slung over his shoulders, listening to Nate reveal bit by bit just how much hockey he’d been watching surreptitiously—were going well.
They both had a good time. Add in the great sex, and it wasn’t a combination anyone would complain about.
But there was a part of Ramsey that kept thinking, but we could do better, right? There’s more to dating than this. There has to be.
“You want to plan a date,” Wes repeated deadpan.
“Don’t say it that way,” Ramsey complained. “I can plan things.”
“Exactly,” Wes said. “You’re fucking amazing at planning things. You’re scary good at it. I don’t know why you’d ever think you’d need my help.”
“But it’s a date. I don’t do dates.”
“Yeah, if you were trying to teach someone about having a hot hookup and leaving them wanting after, you’d be golden.” Wes shot Ramsey a smirk over his shoulder as he poured his coffee.
“Fuck you,” Ramsey retorted, but he was smiling too. “I’m multi-dimensional.”
Wes raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Then why are you asking for my advice?”
Ramsey sighed. “I just . . .I want to do right by him. By me, too.”
“Of course,” Wes inserted slyly.
“Just if you had any suggestions or ideas,” Ramsey said, hoping this would be the end of it. He’d initially thought, why not ask, because it would give Wes something to think about—anything but how freaked out he was about any possible parallels between Ramsey’s situation with Nate and his own.
Wes sipped his coffee. “Be thoughtful,” he finally said. “Do things he likes. Do things you like. Dating is about meshing your two lives together.”
There was a part of Ramsey that wanted to make a face. He didn’t want to mesh his life with anyone else’s, even Nate. He liked his life. It was exactly as he’d arranged it to be—at least if he got hockey back—and he enjoyed it that way. He would have done things differently if he didn’t.
Nate was, always, a wild card he never saw coming, no matter how much he prepared for his eventual appearance.
“Don’t tell me you like your life the way it is. You wouldn’t be here in Toronto if that was true.”
And God, Wes wasn’t wrong.
“I’ve changed things since I got here,” Ramsey argued.
Wes shot him a look. “Sure. But the fact you can’t leave him alone, maybe take that as a sign that you don’t know everything.”
“Honestly, I love you, but also fuck you,” Ramsey said. He wasn’t sure he’d actually learned anything helpful, but it was certainly a new way to look at it. A new angle to consider.
Wes just laughed. “Love you too, babe.”
“You seem to be in a pretty good mood even though we lost last week.”
Dawson slid into the seat next to him and nudged him with his shoulder.
Nate had been sitting in the biggest auditorium in the practice facility, ostensibly getting ready for the week’s walk-through, but in reality staring at his phone.
Wanting to text Ramsey. Knowing he didn’t have a good reason, but wanting it anyway.
Though, if he was being really honest with himself, that had been a thing for the last few days.
Longer than that, even. But for the last few days, after they’d agreed to date for real, it had been a near constant need simmering under his skin.
When would he see Ramsey again? When would he talk to him again? Would Ramsey send him a text while he was at practice, just because he could, because he knew Nate wouldn’t be around, and it was okay if it was transparent?
“It wasn’t a bad loss, and we’re gonna bounce back this week,” Nate said, but he knew what Daws was getting at.
Daws also knew what he was getting at, and he only nudged him again. “Please, that’s not why you’re looking all starry-eyed.”
“I don’t—”
But Dawson didn’t let him finish. “Bud, you can’t argue with me about this, because I’ve been there, been right in your shoes, pretending that what’s happening isn’t what’s happening, but newsflash, it’s fucking happening.”
“What’s happening exactly?” Nate wondered. But he was afraid he knew. He had eyes, didn’t he? And it was nearly impossible to miss how Dawson looked at Cam, at how they rotated each other, alone in their own little cozy loving world.
It was similar to Aidan and Levi, but different, too. A reflection, maybe, of how different they were as couples.
What kind of couple were he and Ramsey going to make?
“Please,” Dawson said. “You’re in love with him.”
Nate choked on his breath.
“Don’t even bother denying it. You were staring at your phone like you couldn’t wait to talk to him. Like if you yearned hard enough, what you wanted would just materialize.”
“I don’t yearn,” Nate insisted, frowning. What else was he going to call what he’d been doing for weeks? For fucking months?
“Sure,” Dawson said, chuckling under his breath. “Deny it all you want to, but you know who you’re really denying in the end?”
“Your inner gossip?”
“Shut up, that’s not me. That’s Aidan. And Levi. Or Aidan-and-Levi cause they’re like some package deal kind of shit these days.”
“Sure it’s not.” Nate was relieved he’d managed to distract Dawson, but there was still that bright fucking red exclamation point in the back of his head, an alarm that wouldn’t stop blaring, whenever he thought of what Dawson had said.
“Don’t think I didn’t notice that you changed the subject,” Dawson grumbled.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Nate said, as nicely as he was able, with half of his brain melting down at the possibility that Dawson might be right.
“Of course not,” Dawson soothed. “Forget I said it.” But the smile he shot Nate as the coaching staff headed towards the front of the room told Nate that he knew exactly how impossible that was going to be.
Coach Dell started the walk-through with a reiteration of the three tenets that he wanted the whole defense to remember for this game against the 49ers.
Containment – specifically of Christan McCaffrey and the 49ers’ insanely dynamic run game.