Chapter 20
“I can’t believe we’re running errands on a holiday,” Ramsey complained, glancing out the window of Nate’s car. He’d had plans this morning. Sleeping in, for sure, tucked up close and warm against his big boyfriend’s body, after he’d gotten home at ass o’clock from playing Dallas on Thanksgiving.
But Nate just chuckled. “It’s not a holiday, it’s the day after Thanksgiving, which isn’t a holiday in America, and reminder, babe, Thanksgiving isn’t even a holiday here.”
“Stupid,” Ramsey muttered.
“I promised you I’d make it worth your while,” Nate said persuasively. “Remember?”
“I’m holding you to that,” Ramsey said.
The truth was, he was grumbling, but the last week had been so good. He was hitting all his benchmarks that the Wolves wanted to see from him on the ice, his conditioning progressing well, and in a few days, he’d head back to Buffalo.
“Did you talk to Wes?”
“You mean, when we get to Aidan and Levi’s, is he going to be weird and not talk to me? We . . .yeah. We’ve been texting some. Or I’ve been texting at him. It’s not bad. We’re not fighting. He’s just not happy with me.”
“You’re a good friend,” Nate said, glancing over and meeting Ramsey’s eyes. He reached out and took his hand, squeezing it firmly. “You could’ve said nothing.”
“Yeah, and continue watching him be miserable?” Though it wasn’t like Wes was not miserable now.
He was, and it was the only persistent problem that Ramsey couldn’t seem to fix. Yet, anyway.
Ramsey looked back out the window. They’d been driving for at least thirty minutes at this point, far out of the city. “Where are we even going? What even is this errand?”
“You’ll see,” Nate promised.
When Nate had dragged an unwilling Ramsey out of bed, shoved a large coffee in his hand and put him in the car, Ramsey hadn’t really asked questions.
Not like him, sure, but Ramsey was trying this new thing where he let Nate call some of the shots. And so far, it was a good time. Usually a great time. Though admittedly all of those times had been sex-related, so of course they’d been awesome.
Maybe this was still sex-related, though Ramsey was pretty sure it wasn’t.
Finally, Nate pulled off the freeway, taking them through a bedroom community. Ramsey found his curiosity significantly piqued, staring out the window as the car turned into a section of townhouses.
“What’s this?” Ramsey asked, unable to help himself from asking again.
But Nate only shrugged and got out of the car. “Come on,” he said, beckoning with a hand that he then tucked into Ramsey’s as he followed.
The builds were new and modern. Ramsey could hear the sounds of construction far down the block. There was a sold sign stuck into the lawn on the townhouse Nate led him to.
Ramsey had wondered before this, but now seeing the sign, he was pretty sure he knew. Especially when Nate let go of his hand so he could pull out his phone and look up the door code in his email.
Nate pushed the door open and gestured Ramsey inside. Ramsey walked in, gaze flickering over the surprisingly cozy interior, despite the modern fixtures and clean lines.
The foyer led into an open floor combo of living room slash kitchen.
“There’s three bedrooms upstairs, including the owner’s suite,” Nate said steadily, watching Ramsey as Ramsey took in the pale green cabinets and the quartz countertops.
It was empty, no furniture at all yet, but the interiors still felt homey, like it was just waiting for them to fill it up not just with things, but with a life.
It was everything that his big condo in downtown Buffalo wasn’t.
“You got this for us.” Ramsey didn’t ask, just stated, because it was obvious. Closer, then, to both of them. Not close, necessarily, but closer. A central place they could live, at least part of those five months.
“Yeah,” Nate said with a nod.
“A further commute for you,” Ramsey observed.
Nate’s lips quirked up. “Also further for you. We don’t have to always—I’m going to keep my place and you should keep yours too—but I thought it would be good to have somewhere central for when we’re both playing. A place we could live, to make it a little easier.”
Ramsey’s hands tightened on the edge of the counter he’d been resting them on.
Nate had done all this, without being prompted, and had not only done it, he’d done it well and with flair.
This wasn’t just some blank apartment they’d crash in sometimes.
Nate had bought this to be a home for them.
Not their only home, maybe, but a home nonetheless.
“Still going to be hard,” Ramsey said, the words escaping out of him before he could snatch them back. What was he doing? He wasn’t trying to convince Nate not to do this, that he didn’t want to. He wanted Nate to want this, with him. Even if it was hard.
But then, Ramsey didn’t think he could do any of this, even for a short time, and not have it work out. If he put his heart into Nate’s hands, Nate was going to need to hold it forever.
Telling him he loved him was a huge step, no question, but this was more than just words. This was action. This was working every day to make it work. If Ramsey made that kind of commitment, he’d never want to go back from it.
Ramsey raised his eyes to Nate’s.
His gaze was warm and brown. So fucking steady. Loving. Trustworthy.
Like he knew just what Ramsey was questioning. Like he knew how hard this was for him.
And, Ramsey realized with a bolt of recognition, he did.
“You’re something else, you know that?” Ramsey said.
If a trace of smugness joined the other emotions on Nate’s face, Ramsey supposed he couldn’t blame him for it. “I think sometimes you forget that you’re not the only one who can make a good plan and execute it.”
Ramsey thought about saying that he didn’t forget—it was instead that nobody had ever met him plan for plan, action for action, before. Nobody except Nate.
Instead, he said, “I won’t forget anymore.” Because now he’d know that part of Nate’s love—just like Ramsey’s—contained this element. That he could expect it, that he could rely on it.
For a long moment, they didn’t say anything, just looked at each other. Ramsey felt like his heart was in his throat.
“So, what do you think?” Nate asked.
It was a ridiculous question.
Nate knew how good he was. Knew intrinsically how perfect he was for Ramsey. It was why he’d been so pissed when Ramsey had run, and Ramsey couldn’t even blame him for that.
“I think . . .” Ramsey huffed out a breath.
He wanted to be annoyed. He wanted to push all this away, but that was only the fear talking, and he didn’t even want to listen to it anymore.
It was easier than anything he’d ever done to dismiss it.
“I think it’s going to be good. Living here, with you. ”
“Yeah?” The smugness wasn’t only in his eyes now, it was in his smile, but Ramsey couldn’t even be mad about it, because he was right.
“You did better than I could,” Ramsey admitted.
It had been a little scary calling off Barty and the trade possibility to the Leafs, because on the other side had been this enormous gaping unknown.
He’d never been in a relationship before.
He hadn’t even known what that looked like, nevermind a relationship like the one he’d be building with Nate.
But Nate had known that, had taken his hand, and had said, here, let me show you.
Turned out it didn’t just have form and shape, but all the possibilities spinning out, beginning to fill in the space, they were beautiful.
Ramsey pushed off the counter and tucked himself into Nate’s embrace. “I’m gonna remember that,” Nate murmured into the top of his head. “How about alongside, you were right.”
Ramsey choked out a laugh, suddenly, unexpectedly emotional. “What about I love you?”
Pulling back, Nate cupped a palm around Ramsey’s cheek. “Always.”
Ramsey leaned in, ready to kiss his boyfriend—the guy he was going to be building this new life with—but Nate suddenly jerked away.
“Shit, I almost forgot,” he said and dug into his pocket, bringing out a small velvet pouch. “I got this for you. For well . . .because of what happened to the other one.”
Ramsey would deny it until the end of time, but his fingers were trembling as he opened it up and tipped the contents out onto his hand.
He’d known it wasn’t a ring, and he was glad—not because he wasn’t interested in that kind of commitment, but because, God, maybe he would be interested in that kind of commitment—and it would have been insane to get engaged before they’d even lived a part of this life they were going to build together.
A long chain coiled up on his palm, twinkling under the kitchen lights.
Ramsey swallowed hard. “You replaced it.”
“Jordan kept making noise that he was going to, but . . .” Nate shrugged, cheeks flushing. “But I’m enough of a caveman that I don’t want to see another guy buy you jewelry. Not something like this. Something you’ll wear every day.”
“It’s beautiful.” It was. No question.
And Ramsey knew, also, without a single doubt, that every diamond sparkling on the chain was real.
Unlike the one he’d given up, easy as breathing, to save Jordan’s skin.
He should’ve told Nate, long ago probably, but there were some things that were so ingrained, that he’d held close to his chest for so long, that he didn’t know how to admit them.
He’d worried too, that Nate would think that somehow his whole persona was like the necklace—a fake front that couldn’t be trusted.
But Nate wouldn’t think that now. Ramsey knew that. Ramsey trusted him to never think that.
“So, funny story,” Ramsey said, “I got that chain a long time ago. In the OHL, before I went to Portland. And well, I didn’t have a lot of money back then. Not like now.”
Comprehension was dawning on Nate’s face, and it shouldn’t have been funny, but it kind of was.
“It wasn’t real,” Ramsey finally admitted. “They weren’t real diamonds.”
Nate didn’t look mad though, he just looked amused. “And you gave it to that guy and he had no idea that they were what, cubic zirconia?”
“Lab grown I think, actually?” Ramsey laughed, now, feeling the looseness of letting his last secret go. Nobody else had to know. But Nate knew, and that meant something.
Actually, it meant everything.
“Well,” Nate said softly, reaching out and squeezing the hand that held the chain, “I’m glad you gave it away, then. So I could replace it.”
“You didn’t have to—”
“I know, but I’m so fucking happy I did. Because you’re . . .” He huffed, like he was still a little embarrassed at the sentimentality he was exposing. But Ramsey loved it. “You deserve the real thing. You are the real thing.”
Ramsey had to kiss him about that. Long and sweet and a promise, for the future.
When they finally broke apart, Ramsey fumbling with suddenly thick fingers at the clasp, Nate stopped him, touch soft on his arm.
“There’s a . . .uh . . . an engraving too.” Nate rubbed the back of his neck, still flushed pink. “Your number, on the clasp.”
Ramsey found it immediately, thumb rubbing over the numbers. They were incised deep into the metal, and Ramsey liked that he could feel them so clearly. This was who he was. An intrinsic part of him, and Nate had always seen that.
“I was going to put my number, right alongside yours, but that felt presumptuous.”
He couldn’t help it anymore. Ramsey laughed out loud, the sound startled out of him. “That was presumptuous? You bought us a house. Picked it out and everything.”
Nate shrugged, blush creeping down from his cheeks to his neck. “The necklace is yours. It was yours before I ever showed up. It’s for you. I didn’t want to shove myself in where I didn’t belong.”
The thing was, Ramsey had begun to realize that Nate did belong. To him, anyway.
“What if I make space first?” Ramsey questioned.
Because he did want Nate around his neck, forever. The two of them, intertwined every single day for the rest of their lives.
Nate smiled down at him. “Well, it’s a good thing I left room for it, then.”
And Ramsey had known, had kind of always known, in fact, that Nate was perfect for him, but he’d never imagined that his jagged pieces would fit so well with someone else, but there was no question that they did.
“That’s perfect. You’re perfect,” Ramsey said and kissed him.