Chapter 27 #2
Whenever I’d tell her to put them niggas on papers to force them into providing she’d get up on her soap box about not needing anybody to do a damn thing for her because she was good.
There was a time where that made me feel like I was doing everything right because she was good because of me.
That was exactly why minors couldn’t consent to adult shit because I was so bucked up to provide during a time when I should’ve been doing kid stuff like going to the skating rink or movies.
I didn’t see a flaw with Rahesha leaning on me more than the niggas she made kids with until I was in my early 20’s.
By then I didn’t care to speak up about it because I couldn’t foresee things changing.
It was crazy how much had changed from then to now.
It was sad that me cutting her off was what finally pushed her to hold the fathers of her children accountable.
“Well I’ma be there, regardless, Lani. I know things are different, but you can always count on my presence.”
“Awww, that’s so sweet,” Lucia smiled with a Daiquiri in her hand.
Sunday’s were her going out days and being a first time grandma hadn’t slowed her tradition down.
She went to a parade and a day party with her friends and then she came straight here afterwards.
She had clothes in the guest room she occupied whenever she stayed over, so she showered and changed into a jogging suit before joining us for family time.
She was lit but she was doing a good job at concealing it around the kids.
It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen a drunk person before, though.
My mom and her friends were loud and annoying when they got drunk together.
“You believe that I’m coming now, Milan?”
“Yea, but you can’t stay cause it’s all girls...and when you leave you gotta take Phoenix and Zee with you.”
My head bounced back, as everybody else laughed.
“I know that’s right, diva,” Lourdes giggled. “Get everything lined up.”
All I could do was shake my head because her birthday wasn’t for another two months and she was already shooting orders.
“That’s why you want me there? To get rid of Phoenix and Zee?” I asked like I was hurt.
“Well it wasn’t like you were going to spend the night,” she shrugged.
“I’m spending the night,” Phoenix declared, not even bothering to look up from his phone. I didn’t even think he could hear us because he had his airpods in.
“No you’re not! Mommy said no boys.”
“I saw that bnb and it got five rooms,” he finally raised his head. “I don’t care what mama said. I’m staying.”
“You don’t care what mama said? Lil nigga you better watch yourself,” I snarled.
Lately he’d been smelling himself, which wasn’t an abnormal thing for most pre-teens.
But I was hoping that he didn’t feel like he could disobey our mom because of me.
At the end of the day, what I had going on with Rahesha didn’t have shit to do with him or my other younger siblings.
They didn’t have a pass to disrespect her because I wasn’t fooling with her.
“So I can’t spend the night at the bnb?”
“Not if mama and Milan said no, Phoenix.”
“That’s not fair,” he grumbled. “Mama I can understand, but Milan?”
“Life ain’t fair. And yea, you gotta respect Milan's mind, too, because it’s her birthday. If she wants all girls to spend the night then that’s her right. Don’t you get everything you ask for when it’s your birthday, nigga?” I posed, while holding back laughter. This lil dude was a trip.
“Cool. I’ma make sure my birthday plans don’t include girls.”
“Hey!” Icelyn exclaimed.
“I’m saying, not we catching strays because Milan is having a sleepover,” Aspen giggled. “That’s not fair, little brother.”
“Life ain’t fair,” he mocked my voice.
I lost it and cracked up along with everybody else.
“Phoenix, stop playing with me before I mink you.”
“Why I gotta get minked? Milan’s the one who’s saying she doesn’t want us at her birthday party.”
“I didn’t say that! Everybody’s invited, everybody just can’t stay! I don’t see Zee complaining.”
“Really? Now you know Zee don’t care about nothing. He barely cares about his own birthday, so of course he don’t care about yours,” Phoenix shot back.
“Say, y’all gotta chill,” I said through laughter. “It is what it is, Phee. It’s an all girls sleepover, so you and Zee gon’ have to hang out with me that night.”
“I might chill with y’all that night, too,” Aspen said.
“You not gon spend the night, sis?” Lourdes smirked. She knew what was up just like I did. Aspen wasn’t trying to help with all those kids overnight and into the next morning.
“Nope. After we sing happy birthday I’ma go ahead and see myself out. I don’t have time to be watching people’s kids. Milan got too many lil friends.”
“Mom said she’s only allowing her to invite four girls and that she’s going to ask their moms if they want to stay,” Aneesah laughed.
“Whattt?” Milan asked with devastated eyes. Like clockwork, she looked over at me. “Bubby, I can only invite four girls?”
“I don’t have nothing to do with it, Milan. You gotta talk to mama about that,” I chuckled.
“Let me call her,” Milan said like an old woman while holding up her phone.
“Aht-aht, Milan,” Aneesah butted in. “Don’t disturb mama with that right now. You know she’s studying.”
“Studying for what?” I balled my face up.
As far as I knew my mom’s highest form of education was her junior year of high school.
She was an honor roll student and had dreams of college until she got pregnant with me and started playing house with my dad.
She claimed that he encouraged her to finish high school, but she preferred staying at home with me.
In reality, I think she preferred keeping a close eye on my dad and following him around.
“Oops…,” Aneesah uttered regretfully. “I wasn’t supposed to say that.”
“What you wasn’t supposed to say?” I asked. The fact that she was keeping a secret on behalf of Rahesha was puzzling because she told all her other business to me without holding back.
“Chile, mama studying for her GED, but you ain’t hear that from me,” Aspen readily answered.
She evidently didn’t care about keeping Rahesha’s questionable secret.
I wasn’t trying to be negative, but if she was doing something of substance like that then she of all people would definitely be bragging about it.
“Really, Aspen? You know that lady told us not to tell anybody,” Aneesah hissed. “If it gets back to her I’ma make sure to tell her that it was you who said it.”
“But you started it, though,” Phoenix said.
“Lil boy, stay in a child’s place,” she snapped, before focusing on me. “Don’t tell anybody, Bubby.”
I smacked my teeth. “I ain’t repeating nothing like that, trust me.”
“Why does it have to be a secret?” Lourdes asked. “She’s doing something positive.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” I added evenly.
“She really is studying for her GED, Bubby,” Aneesah said. “I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I don’t think she’d go through the trouble of buying text books and asking me to quiz her.”
“You didn’t hear me say that lady was lying, Neese.”
“She probably noticed the look on your face,” Phoenix said. He obviously hadn’t followed Aneesah’s orders to stay in a child’s place.
“Well looks can be deceiving,” I responded, gaslighting the hell out of them. I could’ve gone into grave detail about why I thought Rahesha was lying. If it were just me, Aspen, and Aneesah I probably would have, but I didn’t want to talk too much shit in front of the little ones.
“So what made her want to get her GED now?” I asked.
“She said she wants to enroll into a LPN program,” Aspen replied.
“Dang, you just keep going, Aspen,” Aneesah laughed.
“Girl, whatever, the cat is out the bag now.”
“That brings me back to my question that nobody answered, why does she want to keep it a secret?” Lourdes asked.
“Probably because she don’t want to deal with haters and naysayers. I know when I went back to college after having you everybody had a damn negative opinion,” Ms. Lucia said.
“How could people be negative about you going back to school?” Aspen asked in confusion.
“Because my goal was to become a PA and it’s a seven year process.
I had Lourdes my sophomore year of college, so I still had about six years to go before I reached that goal.
I put those dreams off the first few years of Lourdes’ life and I leaned on her dad for financial support.
When we didn’t work out I was left in the projects wondering what happened to all the dreams I once had and I decided I needed to take my life back.
A lot of the women in my family are nurses, including my mama,” she rolled her eyes in the direction of the kitchen where Granny was putting up the food and cleaning.
“So she tried to convince me to go that route because it’s quicker and less time consuming.
But I had to block out the noise and do what I wanted.
And I’m not gon’ act like my family didn’t support me because they did.
My mom and sister kept Lourdes on plenty of days during my didactic year of PA school.
But I would have preferred their support without the snide comments about how I should’ve just gone to nursing school.
So I’m pretty sure Rahesha just wants to go for her goals without hearing anybody’s mouth. ”
“Tuah, tell me about it,” Lourdes scoffed. “Cause I definitely had to hear a lot of negativity about going to cosmetology school instead of a four year college.”
“Dang, who was negative about that, sis?” Aspen asked.
“Chile, she’s throwing shots at me,” Ms. Lucia breathed heavily. “But hindsight is 20/10, so I can acknowledge that I did to you exactly what my mom did to me. I tried to force you into following in my footsteps…but you my daughter alright because you ignored me and got the hell on.”