“Pain in the Core of Pleasure” #3
“What do you think people are going to say if they see your name carved into my skin?” Her nervous laugh is almost adorable.
It’s cute how she tries her best to hide her real feelings of fear and anxiety, but I can sense how she feels.
I know exactly why she’s trying to hide any evidence of me.
I just want to hear her say it. Say the fucking words, Thalia. Just admit what you did.
“Who said it has to be my name? It can be something meaningful between us. Don’t worry, I can make my mark hidden. No one would be able to see it. Well, unless they see you naked.” I deeply chuckle at the ridiculous notion. I’m the last person who will see all of you. I will make sure of that.
“Why do you care what anyone thinks about us?” I tap the flat side of the blade on her shin, and I wait for her answer.
She flinches under the cold knife. Her kneecap jolts when the sharp point hits the bone.
“It’s not that I care what people think…
” Her comeback trails off and I am becoming exceedingly impatient.
“Oh, no. It’s not what just anyone thinks…
is it?” I stop my knife from hitting her skin and I move the blade and run the tip along my bottom lip.
“You’re worried about a specific someone finding out about me.
You’re worried that a certain someone will find out you agreed to go with me to that diner, that you’ve invited me into your home multiple times, and that you begged me so sweetly to make you come.
” Her bottom lip quivers, and I watch the tears fall down her cheeks from under her blind fold.
“Isn’t that right, Listener?” I wait for her reply.
“But I wonder who it is. Who else could you be talking to?” Another pause .
“No, that’s not what we need to be asking, because fuck, that could be anyone.
” I softly slide my fingertips up the long stem of her tattoo.
“Who else could be taking up your sweet, valuable time? Who else’s voice makes you so fucking deliciously wet?
Who, baby? Can you tell me what other deep voice makes you spread your legs so fucking easily? ”
I grip the middle of her inner thigh, squeezing one of the inked roses on her skin. Her body shakes in the chair when my hold becomes tighter.
“That’s it, isn’t it?” Enough with the fucking unanswered questions.
Just shake your head and sob. “ISN’T IT, THALIA?
! FUCKING ANSWER THE QUESTION!”My casual tone turns loud.
Her tears fall from her cheeks to her lap .
“Are you fucking Lee?!” She shakes her head quickly.
“You're not fucking him?! Don't lie to me. Fucking admit it, Thalia!” Her chair continues to vibrate when her body jumps at the loud volume of my voice.
“Yes!” she cries.
“How long? Tell me, how long have you been with him?!” I press, looking up at her, trying to keep the hot tears from falling down my face.
“I swear to God, Thalia. If you were with him before you brought me back to your place…” I do my best to mask my heavy emotions, but I can't keep them at bay. Hold it in, Alan. Keep it together. I can’t stop the raised amplification of my tone in the small space.
“A few weeks.” She mutters through her pathetic sobs.
“Weeks?! What the fuck, Thalia! What was I to you then? Did I even fucking mean anything, or was I just there for you to use when you couldn’t see him?
Was I just a fucking convenience for you?
! ” Another question unanswered. Just sit there and fucking cry.
Crying isn’t going to get you out of this.
“Did you think you could fuck both of us and everything would be okay? Did you think you wouldn’t have to eventually choose between us? You can’t possibly think we weren't going to find out you were riding both of our dicks!” My loud voice booms off the walls.
“I didn’t think we were anything serious! It was just sex!” She cries.
Just sex?
“Just sex? Are you fucking serious? Damn it, Thalia, you know what you and I have is more than just sex! I see the way you look at me. You fucking understand me like no one else does! We have something more than that, and I know you fucking feel it too!
“I did everything so I could have you! Fuck! How could you not see that?!” My disposition gets the best of me, and the tears I try to hold in fall down my face.
“Is that what you plan on telling him, too, or just me? Would you tell Lee that it’s just sex?” She lowers her head as if she can see the black and white squares on her Vans. Silence is the loudest answer.
“You know, I never thought I would have to compete with my best friend, the one person that I would have considered a brother. Hell, he’s the only real family I have left.” I tap the flat surface of the blade on her ankle. “I guess, there is a first time for everything.”
I press the sharp edge of my switchblade to her skin. My lower lip nearly bleeds when the tip of my knife carves deep into the green ink on her ankle. The blood looks magnificent, seeping into the bright color.
“Ahhh! What the fuck, Alan?!” She screams.
“Oh, that’s it, Thalia. You know I like it when you scream my name. Scream for me, baby.” I mock, digging my knife deeper into her skin and further up the tattoo. “You think you could make that noise for me again? ”
“Fuck!” She wails out in pain instead of the pleasurable screams I’d grown to crave. I think I desire this even more. No, I know I do .
“Oh, yes, baby. Just like that. Do you scream like that when you’re with him?” I pause for her reply, but she only lets out another strangled cry. “Is that a no?” I jest again as her sobs get louder and I carve deep into the long stem up her calf.
“Tell me, Listener. Did you beg him to make you come, or was it when you were only with me? Did you rub that pretty clit when you thought about both of us?”
I continue to taunt her while the blade goes further into her tattoo. Her yells get louder as her head rolls back towards the ceiling.
“You know, I’m glad you finally admitted what you did.
If you had lied to me, I would have made this night so much more painful,” I explain calmly through her ear-piercing screeching.
I examine intently as the knife keeps carving into her shin.
Her body shudders in her chair from the pain.
“Careful, you don’t want me coloring outside of the lines.
” I glance up while I continue to flay her skin like I’ve watched my father cut into the turkey every Thanksgiving.
I notice her red cheeks, the beads of sweat falling down her forehead, and her black makeup mixing with her smeared red lipstick.
God, I love how shattered you are right now.
“When I saw both of you in your parking garage together, I knew deep down something was going on. Something told me not to follow you into your apartment.” I don’t give her time to respond, and I keep on engraving her skin, now closer to her thigh.
“But did I listen? Absolutely fucking not.” More of her blood pours from her leg, the fiercer I move the edge of the blade into her skin.
Her loud sobs are like a fucking melody in my ears.
Thalia’s tissue between the layers of skin mirrors off the steel.
I spy intently at her plasma spilling between the open spaces.
“Don’t move, I could cut an artery. I wouldn’t want you to bleed out before you see your surprise.” I tease. “There. Perfect. You look so fucking good with my mark etched into your flesh.”
I stop carving once I reach the end of the stem, right where the top red rose begins.
I slide the sharp edge of the blade in the middle of my tongue.
Her blood mixed with the cold metal feel of the blade tastes euphoric.
She carries on with her crying quietly to herself, and I rest my knees in the small puddles of her blood on the hard floor.
My dick gets harder in my slacks as I gape at the work of art in front of me.
I lean further into the puddles of crimson and move my lips to the bottom of the tattoo on her ankle.
I inspect my new masterpiece, and my eyes fixate on the black makeup running down her cheeks while my tongue runs up the stem of her bloody tattoo.
Like a man dying of thirst, I lap up the blood that falls out of her fresh wound.
Her head falls back, and she lets out a quiet whimper when I continue to move up the long line of green and red.
Without swallowing, I collect all of her blood in my mouth.
Once reaching the top of the stem, I squeeze her cheeks and force her parted lips to open, spitting all of her blood into her mouth.
I feel her flinch when I grip the back of her hair and pull her in for a forced kiss.
Both of our tongues search for one another through her pool of blood that stays in her mouth.
I force her lips closed with my forefinger and my thumb after we finish our passionate blood filled kiss .
“Swallow.” I watch closely at her throat as she swallows a combination of her blood and our spit. “That’s my good little whore.” I praise and mockingly tap her cheek.
I catch myself in the view of the camera as I move to the tripod.
My white button-up shirt and my dark gray slacks are both stained with her blood.
Inspecting myself intently through the phone, I clean the blood off the lenses on my glasses.
This is who I am now. A small smirk forms on my face, and I end the recording.
“What do you say we have a break?” I grab my phone and scroll through the series of apps.
“What are you going to do to me?” She asks, breaking the intense few minutes of silence. Her voice is shaky and broken. Fuck, I love how you sound right now. So fragile and so easy to destroy. Just like you fucking destroyed me.