27. CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN #3
“114477,” Theo offered. Her face was a mix of surprise and joy, like he’d given her the code to a treasure trove. She rested her hand on the brass knob but hesitated. Spun around by what looked like nerves, she added, “Stay here.” And then she slipped out the door, shutting it behind her.
Theo didn’t know what to expect when she returned, but he already missed her warmth beside him. He looked to the other side of the bed. Her side. And it was his own nerves that he had to corral or else he’d do something stupid like suggest she just go home after all.
Effie scurried to the entry where she’d hung her bag upon arriving that afternoon.
Theo hadn’t commented on it—she quite frequently carried a tote with a book, a craft project, and the necessities like her wallet and keys.
For the past couple of weeks, she’d packed a few other things . Just in case.
She carried the bag to the bathroom on the other side of the apartment, beyond the dark wood cabinets of the kitchen.
The penny tiles, not original but an homage to the age of the building, were a balm on her nerves, cooling her from her feet up.
She hadn’t realized she was on fire. She lifted an arm and sniffed, hoping her anxiety hadn’t turned to malodorous sweats.
For now, she was safe, but she was keenly aware that their closeness in his bed, the intimate conversation, and the unmentioned possibilities of the evening had triggered her anxiety in a big way.
With Theo’s phone unlocked, she set to dialing one of six numbers she knew by heart.
The screen lit up and Effie laughed at the contact name already associated with the number. Schilling’s Baby Mama.
“Hello?” Right, the number wasn’t one Hope knew.
“It’s me,” Effie whispered and immediately felt silly for doing so. “I’m at Theo’s.”
“Is everything okay?”
“I’m staying over . . . I think. I wanted someone to know I wouldn’t be home. And, well . . . Hope, I’m nervous.”
“Are you planning on having sex with him?”
“No!”
“Then don’t be nervous.”
“Gee, that’s helpful,” Effie deadpanned.
Her hand reached for a phantom cord. Effie missed the coiled cord of their house phone.
Every flirty call had the added benefit of a fidget fixation.
What did you do with your hands when you weren’t anxiously twirling a phone cord? An abysmal circumstance of being Gen Z.
“Effie? Where’d you go?”
“I hate cell phones.”
“Okay . . .”
“They’re full of the intangible and they make things distant or fake or surface. What if that’s all there is anymore? What if nothing is solid and it’s all ether and Wi-Fi and 5G coming to gorge our insides and turn us into the robots we’re all afraid of?”
“How’d that taste?”
“Fucking terrible.” Effie rubbed her hands over her face while iron coated her tongue after a potluck of artificial-sour-apple fake, corn-syrupy surface, and bile-laden gorge.
She laid the phone on the white granite countertop and put it on speaker.
The walls, painted a deep blue, inched ever closer.
Effie leaned over the sink and took a deep breath, before braiding her hair to one side, the too-short strands framing her face in delicate waves.
“It’s not just surface. Theo is very real and he cares about you.”
“You don’t know that,” Effie mumbled. She hadn’t realized how much she resisted his interest in her.
How deep the insecurity ran that he would tire of her or realize she wasn’t as fascinating as he initially thought.
She’d all but handed him a reason to find her lacking what with her diatribe about being bland—
“What are you doing now?” Hope asked, seemingly trying to divert Effie’s attentions from the maelstrom of doubts laying siege to her joy.
“I brought pajamas. I was going to brush my teeth and change and go back to his room, but maybe I should just come home. Maybe this is too much.”
“Do you want to come home?” Hope’s voice was soft, gentle, perfect for coaxing a jumper back from the ledge.
“No. But, Hope, I know he wants to .” Effie’s confidence waned.
She didn’t want to disappoint Theo, but she truly couldn’t disappoint herself and this was a matter she wasn’t willing to budge on.
Not yet. Imagining it was any other night getting ready for bed, she brushed her teeth.
Her plans to stay continued on autopilot even though her mind raged against her.
“Of course he does,” Hope said matter-of-factly. “Have you seen you? If he cares for you like I think he does, he’ll wait.”
Effie glanced in the mirror and took a deep breath before disrobing and pulling on her matching set of pink satin pajamas.
The shorts were . . . short with a slit like two petals coming together on the sides allowing her thighs a bit of rarely won freedom.
The top was a camisole with lace along the neckline.
She’d worn them for ages but for the first time, they looked .
. . intimate, a nd her nerves rallied in her gut against her once more.
“How can you be so sure that he cares that much?”
“Call it a hunch,” Hope retorted. As if in confirmation, a knock sounded at the bathroom door.
Theo’s voice carried through, deep, caring, if not a little hesitant. “I know you said to stay, but then I had visions of you slipping on the tile and cracking your head open on the vanity and I had to make sure you were okay.”
Effie took Hope off speaker right before her bellowing laugh crescendoed at being proven right. “I’m fine,” Effie replied, a flush returning to her cheeks. She cupped her hand over her mouth and whispered, “That proves nothing.”
“Yeah, okay” was Hope’s snarky reply. “Try to relax. Enjoy your night. There are plenty of ways to be intimate, Effie. It’s not all or nothing.”
Effie hung up the phone and took a steadying breath. Her gaze went heavenward. “Please, let this be easy.” It was half prayer, half affirmation as she reached for the doorknob. She cracked the door open expecting to find Theo, but he’d disappeared.
Effie ducked her head into the hall, looking left and right. Still no sign of him. She steeled her resolve and padded softly down the hallway all the while trying to hold her head high.
She found him in the kitchen. He sat on one of the stools facing the living room, elbows resting on the counter behind him.
Effie noticed with no small amount of interest that his biceps stretched the already taut sleeves of his T-shirt.
He’d changed too, and the cotton hugged every muscled inch of his chest before loosening around his trim waist.
He bit the corner of his mouth. Whether he was trying not to smile or say something he’d regret, Effie couldn’t tell.
That inner fire returned as his gaze raked over her body lingering at the whisper of fabric over her thighs and the swell of her breasts beneath the lace top.
She’d opted to leave her bra on, not wanting to encourage too much by flaunting her own rising desire beneath the sheer fabric.
Hours passed before his eyes met hers. Her tongue felt thick.
The silence was oppressive or maybe it was seductive.
Distinguishing between the two was impossible, but the flutter in her chest was most definitely for him.
He was intoxicating. A real-life love interest better than all the imagined men in her favorite books.
The look in his eyes had Effie believing he thought the same of her.
She couldn’t bear the silence any longer and blurted, “I brought pajamas.” Her ability to remark on the obvious was unmatched.
Theo chuckled and slid off the stool. He stood before her, and Effie had to tilt her head to find his hazel eyes. Theo’s finger slipped under the thin strap of her camisole, lifting it in investigation. “ These are pajamas?” he grumbled.
“Believe it or not,” Effie breathed, “my entire pajama drawer is filled with different versions of this. So, yes. Pajamas.”
“I will most definitely need to see the contents of this drawer. Preferably one at a time.” His hands slid down her arms in a tender sweep before clasping them around her own. “And preferably with you strutting down my hall wearing them like you just did.”
“I did not strut,” Effie said indignantly but her amusement couldn’t be contained.
Theo’s breath was warm against her ear as he whispered, “You certainly did and it was hot as hell.” He pulled back and before Effie realized what was happening, he scooped her into the air.
Her legs acted of their own accord and wrapped around his waist. His lips crashed against hers and her mind went blank.
Time stopped. Her anxiety receded like the tide under a full moon, replaced with a tsunami of desire that had her wanting to keep him this close all night long.
He carried her to his bed. Effie clasped her arms around his neck, their mouths still moving in claiming kisses as he cradled her with one arm and put his weight on the other, so he could gently lay her back.
With the arm around her waist, he tugged her firmly up the bed so her head rested on the downy pillows.
A sharp gasp escaped her lips, exhilaration at being handled so passionately.
Theo’s lips found the hollow of her neck.
He kept himself propped up, hovering over her.
That wouldn’t do . She pulled him closer until he pressed into her chest and between her legs, and she no longer wondered how much he craved her.
The evidence of it had her hips lurching forward to grind against him.
He let out a soft moan before Effie silenced it with a kiss.
Why she had ever been nervous to explore with him, be close to him, play with him, was a mystery now. Effie luxuriated in his touch, in the warmth of his mouth on hers. Even the crushing weight of him on top of her steadied her soul and had her feeling like he couldn’t be close enough .
But his hands stayed in her hair or caressing her face. They ventured to her hip and just below the curve of her breast. But that was all. Effie’s throat tightened with emotion as she realized he maintained the boundaries she’d only ever hinted at. She felt so seen. So understood. So safe.
Effie dared reach for the hem of his shirt and slid it over his rigid abdomen. He pushed to kneeling and pulled his shirt over his head. “Is this what you wanted?”
Effie, breathless, merely nodded. Her hands reached for the layered muscles of his torso.
Theo let her explore each one, and she swore she felt him shiver at her touch before he gently lowered himself down beside her.
He edged his hand under her satin camisole and the warmth against her rib cage anchored her to him. “Is this okay?”
“Yes,” Effie said, and she found she wanted him closer again, but she resisted the urge to tackle him, something about the softness in his gaze encouraging her to slow down, savor, be present.
“Tell me when to stop,” he whispered, his voice a deep vibrato that rumbled through Effie’s core. He kissed her again, this time treasuring each supple touch of their lips as his hand ventured higher and higher until his palm claimed her breast. Effie sucked in a breath.
It had been so long since she’d let someone explore her body like this, and it hadn’t felt the same. It was only ever hapless teenage groping. But this . This was new territory.
Theo’s hands roamed over her body like he’d mapped every inch and knew which peaks and valleys would have her arching into him.
When he trailed his fingertips down her back before cupping her backside and drawing her in with a sharp tug, Effie lost all control.
She pinned him to his back, straddling him.
The warmth of his skin, as she trailed kisses from his navel to his chin, was a seduction all its own.
Effie wasn’t sure how long they explored each other before she had her own map of his little pleasures, but she delighted in their efficacy.
The way he tensed with anticipation when she nibbled his earlobe.
Or the subtle shake of his arms as she trailed a finger along the band of his shorts.
Her favorite might have been the way he rippled as she dragged her nails down his back while pressing her hips against his.
Though she had thought seriously about crossing her line a time or two, she never actually had to tell Theo to stop.
He seemed well aware of what was and wasn’t on the table and happily slowed their passionate exchange until Effie rested on his shoulder fighting the drowsiness that pulled her eyes closed.
If she had doubts before the start of their first overnight, they were washed away with the sound of Theo’s slumbering breath.
Nothing had ever felt so right. Effie smiled to herself as she nuzzled closer against the planes of his chest before she let sleep claim her too.