CHAPTER 46
George
Gordon did.
My brain switches off, the words not fully registering as I try to process what has happened.
I accused Leo just now. Didn’t even give her the chance to explain. It was Gordon all along.
He was the anonymous source.
‘He told me he would tell everyone that I slept with him if I didn’t get my contact at the Daily Mail to forge the email.
You know, Freddie from school? She helped, said she’d write the email and article, but she didn’t even know what it was for.
They’re not even running a story on you, George.
Gordon contacted her, begged her to feature the headlines from the Paris Match interview with a quote that he provided!
It wasn’t Leo. Please, let me explain . . .’
I can’t concentrate. Gordon did something to Leo. This whole time I thought she had betrayed me, but it was him. And he did something awful to her.
I need to get out of here.
I punch the lift buttons as Gordon’s voice cuts through my thoughts.
‘She’s a lying bitch, George. Ignore her.’ His smarmy face swims back into view as I come out of my head and into reality.
‘You’re a real piece of shit,’ I growl at him. ‘Get the fuck away from me before I do something I regret.’
‘George, really?’ He tries to grab my arm. ‘Both of your girlfriends have tried to fuck me and I’m the bad guy?’
I don’t even think before punching him square in the face. Blood pours from his nose and he staggers back, his mouth gaping in shock. I hope I’ve broken it, made his face reflect the ugliness inside.
‘I never tried to sleep with you, you disgusting creep. You had to get me unconscious before I’d let you anywhere near me!’ Olivia shouts at Gordon before turning to me. ‘George, please let me explain?’
The lift doors ping open and I step inside, beckoning her in. Gordon tries to follow but I shove him out with one arm.
‘Stay the fuck away from me.’ The doors close as I deliver the final blow. ‘And you’re fucking fired.’
——
‘He took me out, the night you broke up with me.’
We’re in the back of a black cab, heading to my old flat in Chelsea where Olivia now lives. It’s surreal.
‘He plied me with tequila, listened as I cried, as I sobbed, actually. I didn’t see it coming at all. I thought we had the perfect life, me and you.’
Guilt fills my stomach, but I don’t say anything.
‘I don’t remember the night after the bar. Nothing at all, not until I woke up the next morning and he was there, in our bed. Naked. So was I.’
She shudders and I resist putting my arm around her, giving her the space to tell her story. That was the night of the Lacoste party. The night I broke down. I met Leo for the first time that evening.
‘I freaked out, George. Made him promise not to tell anyone, especially not you. At that point, I didn’t know whether we had a chance of getting back together. But I did not want to sleep with him. Didn’t want anything to do with him, to be honest.’
She pauses. ‘I never told you, George. I was . . .’ She takes a deep breath before continuing.
‘. . . I was afraid that it would cause a fuss, but he’s been trying it on with me for years.
Always telling me I picked the wrong brother.
’ She goes quiet. ‘There are times where I’ve felt afraid of what he would do when we’re alone. ’
I feel sick again. He’s been doing this under my nose and I didn’t notice.
‘I’m not blaming you, George; I just have to explain.
He called me when you were in Paris. Told me he was going to tell everyone, share it around that I begged him to sleep with me when we broke up.
That I’d wanted to for years. Unless I helped him get rid of Leo, got Freddie to “confirm” she had received an anonymous tip.
He told me that Leo was after your money, just wanted a famous boyfriend. ’
I shake my head, unable to comprehend what she’s saying. What I’ve done and what I’ve lost.
‘But she doesn’t, George. She just wants you. She loves you.’
I look up, questioning.
‘I saw her before I came up tonight. She was devastated. Heartbroken. And you can only be heartbroken if your heart belongs to someone else in the first place.’
My head drops to my hands as she exhales loudly.
‘I realized that after you broke up with me. After I got over the initial shock and the idea that my life was going to be different. I was upset, but I wasn’t heartbroken.
I missed you, but only in the way that I missed our life together.
The possibility of what we could do, the expectation of what we could achieve together.
Ultimately, you made the right decision.
We weren’t in love. I think we grew to love each other, but we were never in love. ’
I sit up straight as her revelation catches me off guard.
‘I mean it, you did the right thing, George. You were brave enough to end it, to avoid a lifelong loveless marriage like our parents. We weren’t right for each other.
I didn’t know how to handle you, how to cope with you being away.
I didn’t know how to look after you either, George, and I’m sorry for that. ’
She takes my hand. ‘I am so, so sorry for everything and I really want to make it right.’ She tears up and I draw her in for a hug finally, resting my head on hers.
It’s purely platonic, familiar. It’s nice and I can finally admit to myself that I’ve missed her without feeling guilty that I destroyed her life.
‘Fucking hell, Olivia.’ I let out a long exhale. ‘What am I going to do?’
‘You have to win her back, George. Don’t fuck it up.’
I laugh. ‘All right, all right,’ I tease. ‘You’ve changed, you know? What a foul mouth you have on you now.’
‘Learned from the best, George-fucking-Hampden.’ She grins and loops her arm through mine. ‘Now let’s make sure you get the girl.’
——
I wake up the next day in Chelsea, having slept in the spare room of my old flat.
I’ve been ignoring messages from Hope and Jack since I got back from Paris, too afraid to face them and their disappointment in me.
But today’s the day. We’re a week out from Wimbledon, though right now I couldn’t give a fuck about tennis. I just need Leo back.
I call Jack first.
He picks up immediately. ‘Finally, you fucking arsehole.’
Ouch.
‘Jack . . .’
‘George, just don’t. You know I’ve been worried sick about you? But I’m also seriously pissed off.’ He sounds it too. ‘What the fuck were you playing at?’
‘I know. I’m sorry. I really, really am. I fucked up.’ I sigh. ‘Really fucked up.’
‘Yeah, you did, mate.’ He pauses. ‘Did she tell you?’
‘Bits – I don’t know what to do, Jack.’ I recall last night, the look on her face as the lift doors closed. ‘I can’t lose her.’
‘You need to start with a big fucking apology, then perhaps ask her what your arsehole of a brother did to her.’ He did do something then. My blood boils.
‘I fired him last night.’
‘Good. About fucking time.’
‘What did he do, Jack?’
‘It’s not for me to say, but be thankful your girl can look after herself. She gave him a good slap, but I personally would have punched his lights out.’
I feel sick, anxious about what could have happened to her.
‘I did that last night too.’
‘Well, good. I repeat, about fucking time.’ His voice softens. ‘I’ve been so worried about you. What the hell happened on the court?’
‘Gordon told me just before that Leo was selling stories about me to the press.’
‘And you believed him? Just like that?’ He sounds sceptical. ‘Why?’
‘It’s a long story, I thought he had proof, but he faked it.’ I’m an idiot. ‘Obviously I thought everything was too good to be true. I clearly have issues.’
‘And you didn’t think how fucking insane that sounded?’
‘No, Jack. I was about to play a fucking tennis match and I freaked out!’ I groan. ‘I’ve really, really fucked up.’
‘I’m not gonna lie, mate, I repeat once again, you have.’ He pauses. ‘But it’s not unfixable. She’s devastated, but she loves you. You need to win her back. Need to make her feel safe again. To be able to trust you.’
‘You think?’ There’s hope in my voice.
‘Yeah, I really do.’ He sighs. ‘You’re an idiot if you let her go.’
I don’t say anything. I know I am.
‘Have you heard from Gordon?’ he ventures tentatively.
‘Nothing from Gordon. Dad emailed me though, emailed me! To say I was right and that Gordon should return to the estate. That it was time he started learning the ropes. God knows what he’s told him about why he’s left tennis.’
‘And you haven’t been back to the house?’
‘Nope. And I won’t. I don’t miss it at all, I doubt they even realize I’ve gone.’ I’m still in Chelsea, sleeping in the spare room. It turns out Olivia and I get on well when we’re not actually together. She’s an entirely different person now; I guess we both are.
She adores Leo already, after that one chance meeting, and keeps asking when I’m going to make my move.
I hear talking in the background. ‘Listen I have to go, next lesson is here. But do me a favour and call Hope. She’s concerned about you. Keeps bugging me.’
‘I will. And I’m sorry, Jack.’ I pause. I’ve never said it to him before out loud. ‘You know I love you, right? I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
‘Fucking hell, calm down, will you?’ He laughs. ‘You know I love you too, always will.’
I grin and feel the energy coming back into my body. ‘I love her too, Jack.’
‘I thought you might say that. Now go and fix it, please.’ He hangs up.
I will. I have to.