Chapter 17
Mel settled back against the bed as Jordan closed the bedroom door.
They were finally alone even though it was well after two in the morning.
She hadn’t had a chance to talk to him since they’d finished with the scan, and she couldn’t stop her mind from playing the worst scenarios over and over again.
They’d gone from the hospital to Ford and Gabrielle’s house, who’d insisted they stay with them to avoid the press.
They’d gotten word of the story and were camped outside the hospital before she’d been released with orders from her brother-in-law to rest and take it easy.
The entire family had come over, to see for themselves that she was in one piece.
She couldn’t really complain because she knew it meant they truly cared and that made the possibility of losing Jordan and them even worse.
“Mel…”
“Jordan,” they said at the same time as he came back over to the bed.
She took a breath and started again as he sat down beside her. “Jordan…”
“It’s okay baby,” he said lowering his mouth to gently kiss her. “I know making a choice between me and Tate is hard. He’s been the one you’ve always relied on, choosing him doesn’t mean you don’t care about me, it just means you care about him more.”
“Jordan, I don’t. I love you both. Yes Tate’s been in my life longer but the two of you occupy such different roles, I honestly couldn’t choose.
Part of it is that I couldn’t imagine being able to live with myself if I did choose…
if I knew I was the reason one of you weren’t here anymore.
I couldn’t breathe thinking about that. Then when I thought about losing Tate I saw all of the childish things, the memories, and inside jokes disappear and that would mean losing a part of myself that I don’t know I could get back, but if I lost you…
” She broke off as the tears overwhelmed her.
“If I lose you, I don’t know if I’d be able to breathe, laugh, love.
You’re more than just my friend Jordan.”
“Mel,” he said letting the slightest trace of hope through.
“I know I’ve said I love you before, that we pretended that we felt that way when we got married and I do love you Jordan.”
“I know you do Mel. You love me and Tate the same.”
“No, Jordan, I don’t. I love my best friend Tate, but I would never be able to make love with him the way I do with you.
I’d never be able to do it with anyone that’s not you.
I don’t just love you as a friend Jordan and I told myself I’d tell you even if you don’t feel the same because all of this, it showed me that I can’t hide the truth.
I have been in love with you from the day we got married, before really. ”
“Mel…” He groaned covering her lips with his and kissing her until they were both breathless. “God baby.”
“It’s okay that you don’t…”
“I do, Mel. I was in love with you the day I married you. I was in love with you the day I asked you to marry me. I was in love with you the day you hustled me at pool. I was in love with you the day you started working for me, and I was in love with you the day you first smiled at me.”
She shook her head laughing slightly. “I smiled at you after the meeting.”
“Exactly Mel,” he replied with a grin. “I couldn’t admit it to myself at the time, but Nicole pointed it out after you’d left the dress shop that day. She said all it’d take from you would be a kiss and I’d be proposing, and it was true baby.”
“You’re telling me we’ve spent nearly six years pretending to love each other all the while actually doing it?” she asked with a grin and a sheen of happy tears.
“I have Mel. You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you over and over but I knew I’d trapped you in this relationship and I refused to take advantage of it.
A piece of me was thrilled to hear your story because it gave me the reason to make you mine.
I told myself I was going to make you fall in love with me and as each year passed and you treated me the same way you did Tate… ”
“I don’t kiss Tate the way I kiss you,” she countered.
“No, you don’t, but you were also a virgin when we married.”
“It doesn’t matter Jordan. I don’t want anyone but you.”
“I hoped that when I saw the plans you’d made for our house, asked me if I wanted to start our own branch of the family, and especially when you told me that you didn’t want to go anywhere that it meant you loved me.
Then you said you loved our family and I started telling myself that no matter how big our connection was it was them you were sticking around for, not just me. ”
“They’re the icing on the cake Jordan, but you…you’re my heart. I can’t imagine living or being without you. I did choose you Jordan. When I told Tate about your offer, he said I was crazy and made one of his own.”
“He did?” Jordan asked in confusion. She’d never said a word about it and that wasn’t like her.
“He offered to leave town with me, to help me get as far from everyone and everything about this place, to go and play pool with me wherever I needed or wanted to for cash to survive. It had been my suggestion to do that a few months before I met you but he refused to go, but I said no to him and yes to you,” she told him hoping he’d see that even though she couldn’t choose which one of them she could live without she could choose which one to live with, stay beside for always.
“Mel, you chose me over Tate and a career as a pool shark?” he asked taking her hands in his twining their fingers together.
“I did Jordan. We could have run; it would have been simple to do it. Arthur would have made sure we were okay, but he wouldn’t have forced us to go back, but I couldn’t leave you. You had a hold on me even that that not even Tate could break and I don’t want him or anyone else to ever even try.”
Jordan closed his eyes trying to tame down his desire to make love to her to show her how much her words thrilled him.
When he reopened them, he knew it was going to be a losing battle and despite Caleb’s instructions to let her rest, he gathered her into his arms and proved his love for her and her to him.
She laid in his arms, her head resting on his chest, and smiled afterwards. His hands stroked her back up and down and she fought against the need to sleep. She didn’t want to lose this feeling, didn’t want it to be a dream.
“Mel…”
“Hmm?” She sighed contently as her eyes fluttered shut.
“Will you marry me?” he asked and her eyes popped open.
She leaned back in order to see his face, confusion evident in her eyes. “Jordan we already are married.”
“I know and as much as I loved our first wedding, I want to say our vows again knowing this time that we both mean them completely and then I want to take you on that honeymoon that’s almost six years overdue.”
“When?” she asked with a smile.
“Our anniversary sounds about right,” he suggested.
“That’s in three days. Jordan! You know your parents will kill us if we don’t tell them this time,” she said in shock.
“Then it’s a good thing we have ten million in cash sitting downstairs in the safe, isn’t it?” he stated with a grin.
“You’re serious? You want us to do it all, a dress, our family, friends, a cake all of it in three days?”
“I don’t think Revered Smith will mind letting us use the church if we give them a very generous donation.”
“The church?”
“I want to do it completely right this time, you in the huge puffy dress, your father walking you down the aisle, and a wedding night like no other baby.”
“I don’t think we can pull it off but why not?” she said with a nod as she kissed him.
Three days later she stood in a dress, not huge and puffy like Jordan said but it suited her perfectly. The simplicity of it was magnified by the delicate lace and beading but mostly by her smile as she laughed at Tate.
“Really, man of honor?” he asked adjusting the collar.
“Absolutely,” she stated with a nod before he headed up the aisle with Nicole who was her matron of honor.
“Ready?” Dwight asked holding out his arm.
“We’re already married Dad,” she said with a laugh. “No tears,” she added seeing the slight sparkle of them in his eyes.
“Then you shouldn’t call me dad right before I walk you down the aisle even if it is to your husband,” he replied hugging her. “Alright, let’s not keep them waiting.”
She nodded and took a deep breath as the doors opened, and they walked into the crowded church.
It was packed despite the short timetable, and she knew it was mostly because of the name behind them but it was also wonderful to see all of their employees and a slew of people from the college there because they cared.
They reached the front and as he handed her over to Jordan with a kiss to her forehead, she felt her own set of tears well up.
Jordan stared at her wondering how she could look so beautiful and outshine all the jewels she wore.
Her eyes sparkled brighter than the emeralds in her necklace, earrings, bracelet, and even in her wedding ring, which she wore with the band despite their renewal.
She’d refused to take them off to simply have him put it back on her finger.
They hadn’t wanted a long drawn out ceremony and as they promised to once again love, honor and cherish the other she felt her love for him grow deeper.
“Melinda, Jordan, if you’d place your hands on the bible so we can bless your rings,” Reverend Smith stated and Jordan grinned.
“There’s one more ring Reverend,” he said turning to Jake who was his best man.
“Two actually,” Mel admitted looking at Tate.
“Great minds huh?” Nicole teased.
They placed the rings onto the bible and listened as Reverend Smith said a prayer over them and for her and Jordan.
“Melinda,” he said holding out the bible for her to take the new wedding band she’d gotten for Jordan, one she’d had engraved so he’d never wonder about her love again. “Repeat after me, with this ring, I reaffirm my love and devotion.”