Chapter 68
After dessert, I squeeze Dani’s thigh. I’m curious about what’s going on with her. We step out onto Declan’s balcony to get some privacy.
“Are you feeling okay?” I ask, reaching for her hand, but she pulls away. What is that about?
“The last couple of days have been a lot,” she says, looking up at me. “I’m going to go home.”
Something happened between Dani and Declan in the kitchen. I know it.
“Are you sure about us?” I ask, my tone betraying the need in my voice. She avoids looking at me.
“What are you saying?” she asks as if I haven’t learned her little games, like how when she doesn’t want to be vulnerable, she deflects.
“You didn’t ask me about the board meeting today.” I know it’s not the best thing to say, but I’ve also had a shit day. “If I hadn’t brought it up, would you have even asked?”
“Sorry. I’m really overwhelmed by everything going on.”
“Overwhelmed? Adam is threatening to oust me unless I stop seeing you!” I lower my voice, realizing the dinner guests might be able to hear us. “And you and Declan … what was going on in the kitchen?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“Oh, like how you lied to me about your amphetamine use?” She puts her hand on her hip.
“Where is this superiority complex coming from? You’re fucking hungover today.” I gesture at her. “We drink a lot. How is it any different from casually doing a line or taking a pill to focus?”
“It’s different,” she spits. “It’s not like I’m drinking in private, keeping it from you.”
What a lie. “Having a drink before you see me isn’t drinking in private?”
“Wow. I didn’t realize you were paying such close attention to my drinking. Stop trying to make this about me!” she yells. I can’t look inside because I’m sure we are currently the entertainment for this dinner party.
“I’m trying to understand this bullshit argument you have about why one vice is worse than the other.”
“It’s not bullshit. Drugs fucking scare me!”
“You’ve already got what you want,” I softly say. “I’m not going to do it anymore.”
“Why are you weaponizing this?”
“I don’t see you making any concessions in our relationship, Dani.”
“What the fuck? Tell me something you want me to do that I’m not doing.”
“Wake up early with me. Work out with me. I want to spend as much time with you as I can.” She rolls her eyes, and I shake my head. “I can’t be a night owl, but still, I’ve been accommodating your schedule.”
“What else do you want me to change?” she asks.
“Dani. I’m not picking a fight with you. These are all real things. Things we need to talk about if we’re going to continue to see each other.”
“Oh my God! Are you going to break up with me? Here!”
“I do not want to break up with you. I’m asking you to make small adjustments. What’s so hard about what I’m asking?”
“I’m going home.”
“Run away. Real mature.” I scoff.
“Too much has happened in the last twenty-four hours! I need to think.”
“If you want to be my girlfriend, tell me what was going on in the kitchen.”
She sighs, looking out at the skyline. My blood boils. She likes him, and I grab her arm, needing to see her eyes. “I love you, Dani! Be honest with me.” Her eyes are terrible liars.
“Gideon, let go of my arm.” She squirms out of my grip. “What the fuck?”
“Sorry. The thought of being cheated on again. I can’t handle it.”
“I’m going home,” she says tightly, then opens the patio door. “Worst fucking time ever to say that you love me.”
“Baby, I’m sorry.” I realize how big of a mistake I just made.
“I can’t do this right now. I need a break,” she says, teary-eyed. I reach to wipe them away, and she swats my hand.
“Now you’re breaking up with me?”
She leaves the party, not answering my question.