21. Chapter Twenty-One #2
“I didn’t stop wanting them. I stopped believing it was safe to have them.”
He set the condom on the bed but kept his hand beside it. “Because of me.”
“Because I watched Rebecca raise her children while Kyle came and went. I knew you weren’t Kyle, but I also knew I was already alone most of the time.
I pictured a baby with a fever, a school play, a frightened child asking when you’d be home.
I pictured myself making excuses for you until our child learned to do it too. ”
Gideon’s expression tightened with pain. He didn’t interrupt.
“I couldn’t become Rebecca,” she continued. “I couldn’t raise a family alone while my husband stayed married to Hale Global. So I kept giving you the answer you were willing to hear.”
“I made it the wrong time.”
“Yes.”
Gideon didn’t answer. She watched him go still the way he had at the Lake Room, when he’d told her he’d read years of his own calendar – a man looking at a shape he’d never let himself see whole.
“You were afraid to have a child with me,” he said.
“You carried that alone while I thought providing this house meant I’d made a family possible.
” His gaze dropped to the condom between them.
“A child can’t be proof that we’re reconciled.
It can’t be a reward for my change or something that makes leaving harder if I fail you again. ”
“I know.”
“Do you truly want to begin trying? Not because you’re home, not because we’re emotional? Because you want a child with me now.”
Ophelia touched his face. “Yes. I want to begin trying.”
“Why now?”
“Because I trust you to be present. Not perfect. Present.” Her thumb moved over the scar in his eyebrow. “I trust you to tell me when something is wrong, to come back, and to let me be angry without disappearing. I want a family with the man you are now.”
Gideon’s eyes filled. “Tonight?”
“Tonight.”
“You’re certain?”
“That’s the final time you’re allowed to ask.”
His mouth shook with a brief smile. “Yes, ma’am.”
Ophelia took the condom from the bed and placed it aside. Then she lay back and spread her legs.
“Come here,” she said.
Gideon moved over her. He kissed her slowly, but his cock pressed hard against her thigh. Ophelia reached between them and wrapped her hand around him.
“I said inside me.”
“I heard you. I’m trying not to lose my mind.”
“Lose some of it. I like you less controlled.”
She guided the head of his cock through her wet folds and pressed it against her entrance. Gideon held himself above her, every muscle tight.
“Tell me,” he said.
“Fuck me.”
He pushed inside. The thick stretch made Ophelia gasp. Gideon entered slowly until his hips met hers, filling her completely. They both stopped. Her body adjusted around him, wet and tight, and she felt every hard inch.
“God,” he said. “You feel incredible.”
“Move.”
He pulled back and drove into her again. Ophelia wrapped her legs around his hips. Gideon found a steady rhythm, each thrust deep enough to press a moan from her.
“Harder,” she said.
He gave her harder. The bed shifted under them as his hips struck hers. Gideon kissed her neck, then lifted his head to watch her face.
“Look at me,” he said. “I need to see you.”
Ophelia opened her eyes. His control was breaking, but his attention never left her.
“Tell me what you want,” he said.
“Deeper.”
He changed the angle and drove deeper. Pleasure tightened low in her body again.
“Yes. Right there.” She dug her nails into his back. “Don’t slow down.”
“Wasn’t planning to.”
His voice had gone rough. Gideon reached between them and rubbed her clit while he fucked her. The added pressure made her cry out.
“That’s it,” he said. “Come for me again.”
“Not yet.”
“Stubborn.”
“Move. I want to be on top.”
Gideon stopped and rolled with her without pulling out. Ophelia settled over him, his cock still buried deep inside her. She planted her hands on his chest and lifted her hips.
His fingers dug into her thighs. “Fuck. Look at you.”
“You may praise me.”
“May I?”
She lowered herself hard, taking all of him. “You’d better.”
“You’re gorgeous. You’re strong. You’re so fucking wet for me.” His hands moved to her hips as she rode him. “And I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you.”
Ophelia rolled her hips, using him for the pressure she needed.
Gideon watched her breasts move, then sat up and took one nipple into his mouth.
She held the back of his head and rode him faster.
His cock hit deep with every drop of her hips.
Her clit rubbed against him, building her toward another climax.
“Tell me when you’re close,” she said.
“I’m close now.”
“Hold it.”
Gideon laughed once, breathless. “You enjoy this power.”
“Very much.”
She tightened around him on purpose. His hands clamped on her hips.
“Ophelia.”
“Hold it. I want to come with you.”
He dragged his thumb over her clit. “Then come.”
The command and the firm pressure broke her. Ophelia came with a cry, her body locking around him as pleasure rolled through her in hard waves. Gideon’s control failed. He thrust up into her, once, twice.
“Tell me,” he said through clenched teeth.
Ophelia understood. She bent close, her lips at his ear. “Come inside me,” she said. “I want all of you.”
Gideon groaned her name and came. His cock pulsed deep inside her as he filled her, his arms locked around her body. Ophelia held him through it, still shaking from her own orgasm.
They stayed joined until their breathing began to settle. Gideon kissed her shoulder, her throat, and finally her mouth.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you too.”
He lay back and brought her down against his chest. Ophelia rested her cheek over his heart. His hand moved slowly along her spine. He made no move toward the phone he’d left God knew where.
The wetness between her thighs and the ache in her body were simple proof of what they’d chosen together. The possibility of a child no longer felt like a future she’d carry alone. It felt hopeful. Frightening too, but hope was allowed to exist beside fear.
“Gideon?”
“I’m here.” The answer came without delay.
“I don’t need you to promise that nothing will ever go wrong,” she said. “Work will interrupt us. We’ll fight. We may be terrible at this sometimes.”
“Probably not you.”
She lifted her head. “Don’t ruin the moment by lying.”
“Understood. We’ll both be terrible sometimes.”
“What I need is for you to stay beside me when it happens. Tell me what’s wrong. Let me tell you what’s wrong. Don’t leave me alone.”
His arm tightened around her. “I will stay. I will tell you. And if I fail, I will come back to the conversation instead of hiding from it.”
“That’s the promise I want.”
Gideon kissed her forehead. “Then that’s the promise I’m making.”
Ophelia placed her left hand on his chest. The rings caught the warm light, and Gideon covered them with his hand.
She fell asleep in his arms, wearing her rings by choice, with both of them home.