Chapter Seven #3
He touched every part of her through her clothes, kissed her lips, cheeks and chin. The need inside him was strong and potent and so very real, it half scared the life out of him. Nothing much did, but this...this thing between him and Bella was driven and wild and blissfully uncontrollable.
Soon kissing wasn’t enough and their clothes were off quickly.
He couldn’t describe what it was like being skin-to-skin with Bella.
It was off-the-charts good. She tasted like sugar all the time, her body so sweet and delicious.
He cupped her perfect pert breasts, not large by any standard, but luscious, and suckled one then the other.
The little cooing sounds she made were so damn enticing he was halfway to oblivion already.
She nearly finished him off when she circled her hand around his shaft.
His hips jolted upward. Surprised and pleased, he leaned back, absorbing the feel of her hand on him, the way she moved, the beautiful vision she made in the minimal light coming into the room as her long black hair streamed down her body.
She was his angel, because he was surely in heaven.
“Bella,” he breathed. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her what he was feeling inside, but he held back. It wasn’t the time to claim her as his. She deserved better than a bedroom declaration, but he knew in his heart where this was heading.
“Jared, please. I need you.”
Oh, man, he needed her, too. It took only a few seconds to sheath himself with protection, and then Bella was straddling him, her olive-skinned body glowing above him. The sight of this woman straddling him, ready to make love to him, would be forever embedded in his mind.
“I’m ready, sweetheart,” he said, placing his hands on her hips and guiding her onto him. Their joining stole all his breath. He couldn’t utter a sound. She was breathtaking and he was about as turned on as he’d ever been in his life.
They moved in unison, giving and taking. Her pulse-pounding erotic movements spurred his endurance. He never wanted this to end.
But when they’d finally reached the pinnacle of their desire, Jared wasn’t sorry. They splintered apart at the same time, drawing out the last fragments of pleasure for each other. Unselfishly giving whatever they had left to please each other.
For Jared, it had been the best, most satisfying, sex in his life.
It was also something else, as well. Bella was systematically erasing Helene’s betrayal from his mind and perhaps giving him a second chance at hope and faith and trust.
A little later, Bella lay in Jared’s arms. The baby monitor he’d so thoughtfully brought into his bedroom showed Sienna napping soundly. Jared stroked Bella’s hair, absently weaving his fingers in and out of the strands.
She cuddled up closer to him, breathing in the scent of his skin, feeling the steady, solid beat of his heart under her palm.
She was in a different world when she was with Jared.
He made her forget the bad things. It amazed her how quickly she’d become attracted to him, how quickly his presence in the room brightened her day.
Even though she’d been totally pissed at him about his recklessness on the horse, he’d managed to appease her with an apology that had come straight from his heart. Bella believed him to be sincere and earnest. There wasn’t a deceptive bone in his body. He was the real deal. Score one for Jared.
Too bad she couldn’t say the same about herself.
But she wasn’t going to think about that now. These precious moments with him would soon be over when Sienna woke up. Right now, she just wanted to concentrate on being with him, guilt-free. “This is nice,” she murmured as he absently stroked her arm, his touch creating tingles.
“It is. The best way to spend an afternoon.”
She could hear his smile. “For me, too.”
“I never thought...”
He stopped himself from finishing the sentence and she got the feeling it was going to be profound. “You never thought what?”
He sighed deeply and held her a bit tighter. “I never thought I’d ever feel this close to a woman again.”
“What does that mean?” she asked quietly.
“It means that my ex really screwed me for relationships. I’ve been with a few women since, but it was never like this. It never lasted.”
She didn’t want to think about Jared with another woman...ever. But she needed a few answers. Was he telling her he thought they would last? That his feelings for her were strong enough to overcome whatever his ex had done to him? “She must’ve hurt you badly.”
He kissed the top of her head. “She did.”
“How? What did she do, Jared?”
He hesitated a long while and she thought to retract her question. Tell him it didn’t matter. Tell him he didn’t have to reveal his secret, because she couldn’t reveal hers, and already the guilt she experienced was piling up.
But before the words were out, Jared began.
“I met Helene in Dallas more than two years ago. She was working as a secretary in my friend’s construction office.
She was new in town, from this little country in Eastern Europe, and we hit it off immediately.
We began dating that summer and things spiraled from there really quickly.
I mean, I thought she was the one. I met her brother, she met mine.
We were happy. You know, looking back, I see all the red flags, but at the time I was sort of blind.
I fell hard for her and asked her to marry me. We were to have a Christmas wedding.”
“And then what happened? Did she break it off?”
“No, I did. I surprised her one day at her apartment and walked in on her and her supposed brother in bed together. God, I felt like a big idiot. She’d set me up. She’d needed permanent entrance into the country and the man she’d introduced as her brother had really been her lover.”
“Wow. That must’ve been a shock.”
“You have no idea.”
“Jared, I’m sorry.” She lifted up enough to reach his mouth and kissed him.
He smiled. “Don’t be. I’m fine, other than it’s been sort of hard to trust anyone, you know?”
Pricked by guilt over her lies to him, she sighed. “I do know. Thanks for sharing that with me.”
“Hey, I’m okay. But I know you’re struggling about some things, too.”
She froze. Oh, God, had he picked up on her lies?
Was he suspicious? Because she’d saved his life, he’d taken her at her word about who she was.
She still didn’t think she knew him well enough to reveal her secret.
She trusted him with her body, yes. But, she couldn’t possibly trust him with Sienna’s safety.
He was a good guy, but his judgment at times came into question.
What had happened today with the horse had sealed her stance on the matter.
So as much as she wanted to share her burden with him, her instincts were telling her it was too soon.
“I mean, you’ve been through so much, losing your husband and raising Sienna.”
Her shoulders fell in relief. “I won’t lie. It’s been difficult. But it’s getting better.”
“Am I part of your healing?”
“Maybe. Am I part of yours?”
“Hell yeah, you are. The day of the accident, I remember you telling me how lucky I was. I didn’t think so at the time, when everything in my body ached. But now I do. Now, thanks to you, I’m lucky enough to ache in different ways.”
He kissed her lips quickly and laughed.
“You!” She tossed a pillow at his head and he dodged it.
“Pillow fight,” he announced.
“Not right now. I’ve got to get upstairs. Sienna’s restless and bound to wake up soon, but I’ll take a rain check on that pillow fight. It could get really interesting.” She rose and donned her clothes rapidly. Jared snagged her arm and pulled her in, claiming her lips in one last kiss. A doozy.
And then she was off to see about her daughter, smiling wide in direct contrast with the hefty dose of dread draining into her stomach.
To say she was conflicted was a gigantic understatement.