Chapter 12
Geneva
Lying in my bed, the fan blowing lukewarm air over my naked body, what happened played through my mind for the hundredth time, the stars beginning to twinkle in the night sky outside my window. It wasn’t so much that he’d fucked me; I’d liked that a lot more than I wanted to admit. And it wasn’t that he was my boss that was the problem either.
It was that he was someone Uncle Chest had recommended me to. What would he say if he knew? I didn’t know all that my uncle was into, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew enough.
The larger questions that were sparked from what had happened in Rick’s office were, if anything, far more complicated. What did it mean for us?
Why do you think there even is an ‘us’? Why would you even want there to be?
Which was fair. It probably was nothing more than just him getting his dick wet, or both of us blowing off some steam, relieving the tension. If that was all it was, that would be okay with me.
Why do you persist in lying to yourself?
I feared that my life was a little bit… empty. Was that why I was entertaining anything other than walking away? Was that the reason for me being open to where this—whatever this was—might end up going?
Yes, I was young, and just beginning the process of figuring out what the fuck I wanted, but for a while the same need gnawed at me. What I thought I’d wanted was this life of adventure, to be kind of a modern career woman. I was raised that way—but there had always been a missing piece, a part of that plan that never quite fit my makeup. But until recently, I’d never summoned up the courage to really take that out and look at it, to examine it and figure out what it actually meant.
There was something about the idea of being this career woman, this take-no-prisoners, fiercely independent person that left me just… uneasy.
Wondering. Questioning.
It didn’t quite satisfy me—and I could never understand why.
Which made me question the true reason I’d agreed to try the internship when my uncle had suggested it.
“He’s a very powerful man,” Uncle Chest had told me. “He’s a good man. He can open some doors for you. Trafford might be rough around the edges, but just do as you’re told, be a good girl, and it’ll go great.”
The glint in his eye as he’d said those words had got me wondering though. What if he’d known what Rick might require of me? Was it merely a bid to get his niece locked down with a man who would take her off his hands for good?
I didn’t want to believe that, refused to even consider it, but the thought had crossed my mind.
When it came to what the internship would actually be, I’d assumed it would probably last a few weeks, maybe a few months, depending upon how it went. I didn’t exactly have anything more than that to go on.
But all of that went right out the fucking window the moment I’d walked into that office and saw Rick Trafford for the first time. The look on his face—a frustratingly handsome face—had been one of “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
And while he’d apparently been grappling with what the hell he was supposed to do with this young woman who’d shown up for the first day of her internship, I’d realized within about the first five seconds that finding myself strangely attracted to him was going to be a problem. A big one.
But not in the way I’d thought it would.
I rolled over, tucking a pillow within the span of my legs, the softness of it blessedly cool against the heat seething between my thighs. “You’ve got to stop taking this so seriously, Gen,” I whispered into the darkness of my bedroom. “So you guys fucked. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.”
It didn’t, which was true—but what if I wanted it to be? Would someone like him ever have a hope of seeing me as anything other than some young piece of ass to get his dick wet with?
The very fact you’re asking yourself that question should provide all the answers you’d ever need. If you had any sense, that is.
Understanding the man, and what he might truly be after, was what my mind kept coming back to. The inescapable fact was that it was his very enigmatic nature that had me helpless against wanting to know more, to sort out the man, to solve the infuriatingly intriguing puzzle that was Rick Trafford.
Mainly, the man was, well, kind of mean. The sort of arrogant prick I’d always been warned away from. His almost casual abrasiveness with me—something he’d exhibited from the very first day—was something I’d typically hated in men. But with Rick, it somehow drew me to him.
Which is why he is fucking trouble. You need to walk away from this.
The moment I’d realized who he was, the same older man who’d so intrigued and confused me back at that club, I’d assumed we’d just pick up where we’d left off. A little bit more back and forth between us. Sparring a bit. Feeling each other out.
Thatwas silly, and I’d realized that—after the fact.
As I’d stood there in his office, I’d realized that I needed to decide right then and there if what we were doing had any chance of ever working. I’d foolishly thought I’d see where it went, but had I any sense, I’d have turned around and walked right back out.
And never come back.
This is what happens when you think with your pussy.
I flopped over onto my back once more, staring up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the throbbing at the memory of him taking me. Trying to ignore that I shouldn’t have liked it so much. Trying to ignore that doing the smart thing wasn’t at all what I actually wanted to do.
“You need to call Chester right now and tell him to call this whole thing off,” I spoke to the silence of the night. “This is not going to work. You know this. He’s an asshole to you.”
I said it over and over in my head, like a mantra, until sleep quieted the storm of confusion in my head.