Chapter 32
With a thudding heart, I accepted Morgan’s offer on Tuesday.
She was thrilled—enough to give me a hug and launch into some of the ideas she’d already had. My brain was buzzing all shift long about the future. I had to think who I wanted to hire to take the assistant position and whether I wanted to move out of the apartment upstairs.
Of course I did. I’d be able to afford more now.
But where would I live? And who would I feel content to have working under me? Maybe Zoey from the mayor’s party would want a job.
I’d hoped moving forward would settle the nerves in my stomach, but they lingered, making it hard to sit still. I couldn’t even pinpoint what exactly I was nervous about. I’d just solved one of the biggest problems in my life.
Tuesday evening, I went to book club at the library. I hadn’t even read the book—And Then There Were None—but Emma insisted I come anyway and bring s’more maple blondies with me as penance for slacking.
I couldn’t participate in the discussion, but watching people gobble up my gooey blondies while they discussed multiple murders and the mayor’s love life, wearing pink I Voted stickers, wasn’t a bad way to spend my night.
I got gently bullied into voting and selected Genevieve Hazelton, owner of the candle shop, as the most likely recipient of the mayor’s affections.
Ari, who was sitting next to me, took the last bite of her blondie and leaned over. “Do you have, like, a subscription option or something?”
I laughed uncertainly. “What do you mean?”
“Like, an app where I could subscribe to have a blondie—or maybe three—delivered to me every day.”
“You’d have to keep Wade away.”
Her eyes widened. “Yeah, what is it with your brother and pastries? It’s insane how many he can eat and not get fat. Maybe you’d better send a dozen. Or hide them in my flower beds.”
I laughed. “Maybe he’d leave them alone for you. I’ve never seen Wade so sprung on someone.”
Ari’s cheeks went pink, and she broke her gaze away. “Tell that to the brownies I made the other night. So, you’ll let me know when I can subscribe, then?”
“Actually, starting in a few weeks, we’ll be selling them at the Keller’s.”
“Oh, wow. Really?”
A hand went up on the other side of Ari, making continued conversation feel impolite.
I was glad for it because my stomach felt tight.
Maybe this was just my new normal—a constant state of anxiety that only let up when I was with James.
Wednesday was just as busy as festival week had been. Between my bakery shift, making the wedding cake, helping Archer prepare for Landrie and Jaxon’s rehearsal dinner Wednesday night, the wedding on Thursday, and the Sleepy Holler event on Saturday, there was barely any time to think.
I snuck a moment to send Ryan a text Wednesday evening.
Sadie
Love you
Ryan had never been a great texter, and he didn’t respond this time either.
No doubt, my words felt hollow to him. Lip service as I stabbed him in the back.
James and I went to the wedding—along with the entirety of Autumn Ridge. It was, quite frankly, magical. Chairs had been set up on either side of a trail in the woods, and colorful leaves fell sporadically like natural confetti.
I spotted Bennett as James and I were taking our seats. He was with Maven, and I raised my brows at him. He did the same thing right back at James and me, and we both smiled.
Just before the ceremony, Ryan and Lily walked in. I tried to catch Ryan’s eye, but his eye would not be caught.
When I found Lily looking at us at one point during the ceremony, she immediately course-corrected. She looked more pale than usual, like she hadn’t slept well. That had certainly been true for most of her pregnancy with Mia, but maybe it was more than that.
Mia wasn’t with them, but my whole family was in attendance, so they must’ve called a babysitter.
I tried not to let that bother me too much. Mia had never been babysat by anyone outside the family before. Apparently, she wasn’t sick anymore either.
I closed my eyes and thought of May’s words. Give him love.
Ryan wasn’t doing this to hurt me. He was doing it to protect himself and his family—his growing family. So was Lily.
I could understand that, at least.
After the ceremony, I spotted my parents gathering their things, and a knot formed in my stomach.
Hadn’t May said that love could untwist the nastiest of knots?
“Hey,” I said to James, “are you okay to say hi to my parents?”
His eyes sharpened, but after a moment’s hesitation, he nodded.
Taking a controlled breath through my nose, I led James over to Mom and Dad.
Dad’s greeting was a bit cool and his handshake on the formal side, but I could see him trying to make the effort I’d asked him for.
“It’s good to see you, Mr. Stevenson.” James met my dad’s eye squarely but with just enough humility to show he understood this wasn’t easy for anyone involved.
“You too,” Dad said, his eyes watchful.
James turned to Mom. “And it’s great to see you again, Mrs. Stevenson.”
I held my breath. I hadn’t spoken to Mom about James yet. I didn’t know for sure whether Dad had mentioned my wish for them to give James a chance—or whether she’d feel it was warranted.
May had admitted to being angry at Ryan all these years; Mom had been mad at James too. Under all that anger, though, was sadness and disappointment and the need to protect the people they loved.
It was natural for mothers to protect their sons and daughters.
What would Mom do when her daughter’s happiness and her son’s happiness were at odds?
“Forgive me if I don’t know what to say,” Mom said. “I’m trying to wrap my head around this whole situation.” She motioned to the general room, but we knew what she meant. “It goes against my feelings to see you with my Sadie, James.”
I gripped his hand tighter.
Mom’s eyes moved to me. “But”—her gaze flicked to our hands—“I’ve never seen Sadie so happy or thriving, so I’m doing my best to trust her. And you.”
“I understand, Mrs. Stevenson,” James said. “I don’t expect you to trust me yet, but I promise I won’t betray Sadie’s trust—or yours when I earn it. Sadie is everything to me.”
Her eyes softened at his response. “Why don’t you two come over for dinner tomorrow? I’m making some lasagna.”
I blinked. She was inviting James over for dinner? Mom wasn’t May Carver. She didn’t offer her home and food to just anybody.
I smiled at her gratefully and squeezed James’s hand. “What do you think?”
“I’d love that, Mrs. Stevenson. Just tell me what I can bring.”
This response also pleased Mom, and I breathed a sigh of relief—just in time to catch Ryan watching us.
My stomach sank. Seeing Mom and Dad talk to James must feel like another layer of betrayal. I could only hope it would ultimately help rather than hurt.
Despite feeling for Ryan, the hope created by the interaction between James and my parents ran through me all night as we celebrated at Horseshoe Holler.
For months, I’d been living in fear. Fear of the truth about James and me getting out.
Fear of hurting Ryan. Fear of losing my job at Keller’s.
But dancing and laughing with James at the reception and the prospect of dinner with Mom and Dad on the horizon?
They were confirmation that facing my fears head-on would always be better than hiding from them.
I still had some fears I hadn’t faced, though. Fears that I’d allowed to get in the way of something I really wanted.
And I knew what I needed to do to fix that.
“James?” I said suddenly.
He looked at me.
“I’m going to reject Morgan’s offer.” I smiled. Probably like a crazy person.
But I didn’t care.
I wanted the risk, and I wanted the reward.
I wanted to be the butterfly.
I wanted to spread my wings and see how far they’d take me, however fragile they were. I wanted to try a new thing, even if it was scary. If I didn’t, I’d always wonder.
James’s mouth pulled into a slow, wide smile. “I really hoped you’d decide that.”
Of course he did. He believed in me. He always had.
From a young age, I’d been taught my word was my bond.
Friday morning, I let Morgan Keller know that my word was worth approximately diddly squat when I informed her that I didn’t want the job after all.
She let out a big, long sigh. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed.”
I rolled my lips between my teeth, feeling like the worst person on the planet.
“You would have been an amazing asset to Keller’s, Sadie.”
It was all I could do to meet her gaze, grimacing in some sort of mangled non-apology. I felt bad for what I was doing, but that didn’t change anything practically. I still wanted the freedom. I still wanted the box with my own logo on it.
“I’m sad for me,” she continued, “but—off the record—I’m thrilled for you. Of course, I had to see if we could snag you, but secretly, I think you’re making the right decision.”
I stared. “You do?”
She put a hand on my arm. “You don’t need us, Sadie. We need you. But we’ll manage somehow. We’re Kellers, after all.” She winked.
I let out a shaky laugh, then threw my arms around her in a decision that was totally unprofessional but very genuine.
After my shift, James and I worked on cutting up vegetables and making dressing for salad at the sugar shack. I insisted we assemble it at my parents’ to avoid it getting soggy, so we pulled up half an hour early.
I had the fixings on my lap, so James jogged around and opened the door, then took the bowl of lettuce so I could get out.
He shut the door behind me, and we turned toward my parents’ house.
Right as Ryan and Lily walked out the door with Mia.