Chapter 7
Ginger
I end the call with my dad to find Dallas observing me. I’m embarrassed that he caught me pretending I was going out to have fun.
But there was no way I could tell my father the truth. It would trouble him, and he’s had too many troubles in his life already. I won’t add more.
In all fairness, Mary did invite me to join her family for dinner tonight and the other ladies also tried to include me in their activities. But I told them all I couldn’t. I can only fake being cheerful for so long before the cracks in the facade appear.
That’s because each hour that drags me closer to that almost-wedding a year ago brings a reminder of what I was doing back then at a certain time.
Like shopping for wedding party gifts. Attending my bachelorette party. Packing another box of my things to take to the new apartment I never moved into.
“Don’t go back to the Inn yet,” Dallas says gruffly, pulling my thoughts back to the moment.
I need to tell him no. I have to draw a line, especially when I’m feeling vulnerable. Especially when he’s looking at me like he wants to devour me.
“I have errands to do and could use some company,” he says as he climbs the ladder to hang the final snowflake.
My shoulders relax. I guess I was mistaken about the hunger in his eyes. I can do errands. It’s funny that I thought he meant…I mean given that we’ve nearly kissed twice, it’s understandable that I assumed he was going to ask me out.
I frown. Come to think of it, I don’t actually know what he wants. A few kisses? A holiday fling with no strings attached? Will I have the strength to resist if it comes down to it? I don’t know.
Dallas climbs down the ladder and folds it up, lifting it with one hand like it’s no heavier than a sheet of paper. “I honestly don’t want to be alone.”
It doesn’t make sense for him to say that because he has all those people who love him and want him around back at The Naughty List Ranch.
Then I understand. He’s being considerate of me. He saw the loneliness in me and made it about him to protect my pride. And knowing that makes me feel choked up. It yanks my defenses down.
“I’ll go with you,” I whisper the words first, then repeat them louder.
He nods then grins that familiar, easy-going way he has. It lights up his handsome face.
“The evening is beautiful. We can just walk if you’re comfortable with that?”
“I am,” I answer, reaching for my sweater.
“Hold on. Your outerwear isn’t suitable for this weather. We’ll take one of the cars.”
“I’ve been colder,” I tell him.
“So have I.”
And I know we’re both referencing heartaches and not weather. “I left my thick coat at the Inn.”
“The car it is then.” His tone is firm, decisive.
And a small, wilted place in my heart opens a crack and frees a bud of acceptance for his concern like a flower seeking the sun.
He leads the way to his rental car and as soon as I’m settled in the passenger seat, he reaches into the back and brings a lap blanket up and hands it to me.
“Back home, I got into the habit of making sure I always had a blanket with me after I encountered a wounded dog on the side of the road during a cold, rainy day.”
My heart aches for the unknown animal.
“What happened to it?”
“I wrapped him in my shirt to pick him up and get him to the vet in town. He made a full recovery.” Dallas looks relieved as he recounts the incident. “I named him Storm. My brother Ridge is taking care of him while I’m gone.”
“Do you have a lot of family?”
“I do. I’m the oldest and have four younger brothers. Ridge, Rockwell, Radley and Royal.”
I’m wondering why his name didn’t follow the R pattern.
He glances at me as he adjusts the car’s heater to full blast. “My parents were teenagers when I was born. My mother comes from a wealthy family but back then my father was poor as hell and from a rough family.”
I think about what Mary said about Dallas being in the system. “They gave you up?”
His fingers tighten on the steering wheel before he relaxes them. “I was born at home and that night, my grandmother took me from my mother and told her I didn’t make it. She threw me in a dumpster behind a grocery store the next state over from where I was born.”
I gasp. “How could anyone…how could she…”
“I made it, so my story ends well.”
I’m still outraged on his behalf. “What an awful woman!”
Dallas laughs. “You remind me of a defensive kitten.”
“How can you be so okay with what happened to you? And even find a way to laugh about it?”
He stops smiling and the laughter fades away.
“Every now and then I’m not okay when I remember how I was treated.
But for the most part, I look at what I’ve gained.
I have a great family that loves me deeply.
Plus, I have Mary and Christopher and the brothers in heart that I bonded with at The Naughty List Ranch. ”
He reaches across the space between us and smooths a strand of my hair. “And every event in my life until now led me to crossing paths with you. How could I not be okay with that result?”
I don’t know how to absorb what he said or handle the emotions churning in me. I want to slap the faceless grandmother and hug the child he was.
“I’m not sure I’m the gold at the end of the rainbow,” I say, trying to diffuse what I’m feeling.
“I’m sure,” he says.
Fall into him, part of my heart urges me. Are you kidding? Get far, fucking away from him the other part counters.
“So, where to first?” I ask, trying to ignore the battle within me.
He pulls the car away from the curb and turns it toward the Inn. “First, we get your coat.”
This man shows more concern for my well-being than my ex did the entire time we were together. That should have been a clue on my journey to the altar. If only I’d gone on a wake-the-hell-up tour, I wouldn’t have ended up with my heart in such a mess.
At the Inn, Dallas escorts me to my room but doesn’t come in though I can tell he wants to. He’s a wolf wrapped in a gentleman. My body reacts to one while my heart reacts to both.
I get my coat, and we walk back out into the cold evening.
“Let’s start at the far end of the shops,” he says.
“This is what you mean by errands?”
His lips twist. “I have to shop. That’s an errand to me.”
“I’m not the biggest fan of shopping either. I prefer a night at home with a good book or a movie.”
“We have that in common, Ginger.”
He doesn’t simply say my name. He speaks it tenderly like the name belongs to someone important to him.
I pull in a breath of cold air. It’s a crystal-clear winter night and the stars are bright. I’m walking with a handsome cowboy who’s funny and considerate and—this feels like a date.
“Why do your brothers all have R names?” I ask, trying to keep things casual and friendly, not romantic.
“My parents found out the truth and searched all over hell and back for me. My mom was expecting my brother Radley at the time. While searching, they met a woman who claimed she was a fortune teller. She told them to give their child a name starting with R and they’d find me within a month.”
“She scammed them?”
“She did. But my parents were so desperate to find me, they just kept going with the R names in case the so-called fortune teller was speaking the truth, but her timeline was off.”
“I feel so bad for your folks,” I say, blowing on my hands to warm them.
Dallas pulls a pair of gloves from his coat pocket and pauses to put them on my hands, then resumes walking like he didn’t just make my heart flutter.
“They’re not bitter about the past. Instead, they focus on how thankful they are that we’re all together. I have a large family with plenty of aunts and uncles and cousins. And I also have Marshall and Jonas and the rest of the Richfords. They’re friends who are like brothers to me.”
We stop walking outside a shop displaying ugly Christmas sweaters in the window. Dallas looks at them then at me. “Let’s get one.”
“I don’t—” I start to say I don’t wear Christmas related clothing but stop before I finish. This one thing…I can do this one thing with him and hold onto this memory once we go our separate ways.
The bells on the door jingle as we enter.
Dallas walks up to two matching sweaters on a rack in the center of the store. Both are red and feature a fireplace in the middle, with stockings hanging from a mantle. The stockings are filled with real peppermint sticks.
Multicolored garland stretches across the neck of the sweaters and down both arms. Poorly wrapped presents with lopsided bows hang off the hem of the sweater. They’re big and bulky and make me laugh out loud at how horrible they are.
Dallas plucks both from the rack and carries them to the register.
“Those are the only two like this,” the cashier says as she rings them up.
“I wonder why,” I murmur.
The cashier laughs and reaches for a bag.
“You don’t have to bag them. We’re going to wear them,” Dallas says. He nudges me. “C’mon.”
I can’t help but go along with him. Removing my coat, I pull the sweater on and smooth it down the best I can.
Then I turn to him, and he spreads his arms wide like ta-da! I have the crazy urge to run into his arms and have them wrap around me in a warm, tight hug.
Instead, I laugh again and he grins as he takes out his phone. “We have to capture this.” He motions me forward and I draw close.
He tucks me against his side and puts an arm around my shoulder. My heart picks up speed and my stomach tightens.
“Say Dallas is sexy.” His eyes sparkle with challenge.
“Dallas is sexy.” I laugh and he takes the picture.
“I can see you need to be taught a lesson,” he says as we examine his phone to see how the photo turned out. “The sweaters are funny. Me being sexy isn’t. It’s a truth.”
“My bad,” I say, struggling to get my coat on over the sweater.
He walks behind me and guides my arms into the sleeves. “You’ll need to practice. And put some feeling behind it.”
I laugh again and as we walk out of the shop, I realize how often I’ve laughed tonight. I haven’t laughed or felt this warm and happy since I stood at the altar with my world crumbling.
For a quick flash, I wonder what my life would be like now had Dallas been my groom.
I know as sure as I feel the sidewalk beneath my shoes that he never would have abandoned me. Why am I thinking this way about him? I’m troubled but careful not to show it. Because I’m afraid if he asks what’s wrong, I’ll tell him what I was thinking and then my heart and body might cross a line.
We spend another hour visiting the various shops in the town before we call it a night. It’s over too soon at least for me. Dallas takes me to the Inn and walks me to my room door.
“Goodnight,” he says, his cheeks red from the cold.
“Goodnight,” I say reluctantly. Before I can stop myself, I put my hand on the solid wall of his chest. A foolish move I know but I wanted a physical connection with him, however brief.
He immediately covers my hand with his.
Then he lowers his head, and his warm breath lingers across my lips as he whispers my name. It’s emotion spoken aloud. Sweet. Full of longing. Full of care.
Then his lips settle on mine. Passionate. Possessive. Powerful. My head spins. My mind is captured. My body carried is wanting and willing. So willing…
I raise my arms then snap back to my senses and push against him, sucking in a deep lungful of air.
He steps back. “You want me.” It’s not an accusation he’s making, but an acknowledgement of what we both know.
“I do.” Is that my voice? I sound raw.
“Then why stop?”
“It’s a long story.” You’ll hurt me. You’ll walk away after I’m head over heels in love with you. You’ll shatter my heart leaving my trembling life to try and pick up the pieces without getting cut. Again. I force a smile, trying to ease the tension between us, but I don’t know what else to say.
“It’s okay. I’ll listen when you’re ready to tell me.” He gently smooths my hair away from my face. “Goodnight, again.”
He turns around and strides the length of the hallway, and I watch him go.
His kiss lingers on my lips. Regret lingers in my heart. But whether it’s for pulling away or not I can’t tell.