Chapter 14
EVANGELINE
She is still inside me.
“More,” I whisper. “Please.”
I have my cheek on the wood of the kitchen table and my arms out flat in front of me and my legs spread on the boards and my feet wet from my own come on the kitchen floor, and Max is bent over my back with her mouth at the back of my neck and the silicone still buried in me, and I have just said more.
I meant it.
I am thirty-six years old and I have been fucked over a kitchen table by a woman in a black harness and I have come so hard I gushed on her floorboards and I do not want her to leave my body.
I do not want this to be the part where she pulls out and gets a washcloth and says let's eat.
I want her in me. I also want a thing I have not yet asked for.
I have wondered about it, in a soft slow way, ever since she mentioned it to me when she was listing things to gain my consent for.
I have never said it out loud to her. I have not said it out loud to myself.
I am going to say it now.
I turn my cheek on the wood. I look at her over my shoulder. Her hair is damp at the temple and her eyes are dark and she is breathing slow on top of me and her hand is on my hip gripping me possessively.
"Max."
"Yes."
"I want…”
"Tell me."
I do not say it yet. I let my eyes ask. She watches my eyes. She knows. I see her see.
"Yes?" she says. Soft. "Say it, Evangeline."
"I want you in my ass."
The words come out plain in the end. As though telling her is easy.
The words come out the way she taught me to say yes over the stove, careful, awake. They come out plain. They come out a little embarrassed at the edge of my mouth and then they steady.
She is silent a count.
"You sure?” she says.
"Yes."
"You've never done it before?”
"No. I just was thinking about it since you mentioned it.”
"Okay."
She slides out of me, slowly.
The dildo comes out of me wet and warm and a long ache follows it that is not a bad ache. I feel empty. I feel the cool of the kitchen between my thighs. I shiver. She puts her palm flat on the small of my back to keep me where I am.
"Stay there," she says.
"Yes."
"I'll be a minute."
"Yes."
"Don't move."
"I won't."
I hear her bare feet on the boards. I hear her go down the hall. I hear a drawer in the bedroom. I hear a cabinet in the bathroom. I hear water at the sink. I hear her come back down the hall.
I do not move.
I keep my cheek on the wood. I keep my arms out.
I keep my feet spread. I let the cool of the kitchen be on my body.
I let the come of myself dry on the inside of my thighs.
I let myself lie open on the kitchen table and I let my whole body be a thing she is going to do something to that I have not asked anybody to do to me before.
I am wet again.
I did not know my body could be wet again so soon.
It is. Soaking. The thought of what I have asked for has done it.
The thought of her coming back down the hall with a small bottle in her hand and the strap still on her hips.
The thought of her opening me with her fingers.
The thought of her sliding the silicone in slow.
I feel my own want go down through me like a low tide.
“Evangeline,” I hear behind me.
"Yes."
"Eyes closed. Cheek on the wood. Relax your body.”
"Yes."
---
She kneels.
I feel the boards take her weight. I feel her at the back of me. She puts a hand on the inside of one of my thighs and she lifts it half an inch, asking. I lift. She presses my thigh open a little wider. I feel cool air on the wet at the back of me.
"I'm going to use a lot," she says.
"Yes."
"You'll feel it cold."
"Yes."
"Tell me if anything hurts."
"Yes."
I hear the cap of a small bottle. I hear a soft slick sound. She puts her hand low. She slides her finger down between the cheeks of me, slow, slick, no pressure yet. She comes to where she is going. She pauses at me.
"Breathe."
I breathe.
"Out."
I breathe out.
She presses with the pad of her finger.
The pressure is not what I expected. The pressure is small and slick and warm.
She is patient. She is the same patient she was at the bath.
She does not push. She rests against me.
She lets the muscle decide. The muscle gives a little.
She presses a little more. She slides the tip of her finger inside.
I make a small sound.
"Okay?" she says.
"Yes.”
I am ok. It feels intense, erotic and overwhelming in a good way.
"Talk to me."
"Tight."
"Yes."
"Good tight.”
"Tell me what you feel?” Her voice is full of care.
"It's going through my whole body. It feels so intense, so powerful.”
I want to be honest with her.
"Yes."
She slides her finger in further. To the second knuckle. She holds. She lets me have it. She slides out a little. She slides back in, easier this time. I feel the slick of the lube. I feel the give of myself. I feel a heat I have not felt before begin low and spread up my spine.
"Max,” I gasp.
"Yes.” Her voice is kind.
“It feels so good. I can feel it everywhere.”
She is patient and I feel her other hand on my hip, holding me gently.
She slides her finger in to the last knuckle and I feel my body open to take it and I moan.
She begins to move. She uses one finger, slow, in and out, working me open.
I have a cheek on the wood table and a finger in my ass and a woman behind me who is breathing low and steady and watching me, and I am wet in front and tight at the back and the two heats are different heats and they are meeting somewhere in the middle of me and the place they are meeting is a place I did not know I had.
"Another finger,” I say and I am lost in this world of pleasure and I want to lose myself more. I had no idea anything could feel like this.
“Of course.”
She pulls out. I hear the cap of the lube again.
I hear more slick jelly on her hand, on my anus.
She comes back to me running her fingers over and around my anus.
It feels cold from the lube and the cold feels delicious.
She presses two fingers against my entrance.
Two is more. Two stretches me more. Two takes a count for the muscle to give.
She holds. She does not push. The muscle gives and I open up to her.
Two of her fingers slide deep into my ass and I moan again.
"Oh," I murmur.
I hear Max moan too. “You feel so good,” she growls. I know she is enjoying taking me in this way and the thought of her enjoyment only turns me on more.
"Max,” I moan. This feels so good. So very good as my body relaxes to the intrusion of her fingers in my most personal space.
"You're doing well,” she says and her praise is the ultimate seduction.
She does not say the word she said before, mine, the word that holds in the room between us still from before. She says you're doing well, and the sentence is a different sentence and it does the same thing the other one did. It goes into me low.
"Yes," I say.
She works me with two fingers. She is curling them, finding the shape of me.
She has done this before. She has done it many times before.
I do not care that she has done it before.
I am glad she has done it before. I am glad it is her hand and not the hand of a person who is figuring it out on me.
It feels like I am in the hands of an expert and that is absolutely what I want.
I feel heat flooding through my pelvis. I feel the intense wetness of my pussy.
"How does that feel?” she asks.
"Full. But I like it… so much. Really much,” I find myself saying.
“I know you do, baby.” Her voice is a purr. “Do you want a third finger?”
"You decide,” I say.
"I'm asking you. I don’t want to push you too far.”
I can feel the depth of her two fingers in my ass and I know they are all the way in. They feel so deep. They feel so amazing.
"Yes. A third."
"Okay."
She pulls out. She slicks more lube on. She comes back to me. Back to my wanting anus. She circles it lightly, pressing and teasing with one finger or another. She asks me to open back up for her and my body does so. My body wants this, I know it.
Three fingers is a thing. They press into me slowly, yet persistently.
Three fingers is more than I thought it would be.
Three fingers is wide as they press deeper.
Three fingers is the muscular ring of my anus saying easy.
I breathe through it. She holds. She does not move.
She lets me have it. She lets me have it for a count of ten while my breath goes from short back to long.
The wide stretches into a fullness as they press in deeper.
All the way. The fullness is hot. The fullness is the thing I had not known.
I moan more. Loudly. I never knew something could feel like this.
I am wide open for her in the most intimate way and it feels good.
So good. Her fingers move inside me and I feel my hips move in response.
I’m enjoying it. I’m enjoying having her fingers probing so deep inside my ass.
Her other hand snakes under my hip and slides against my clitoris and the beautiful pressure makes me moan more and buck on her fingers as she begins to fuck me with them.
In my head I feel close to orgasm. I feel a delicious warmth spreading through my body.
“Do you want to come with my fingers in your ass or take the strap? It will go in easy now, I know it.” Her voice is confident and the choice is mine. Her fingers from one hand are still on my clitoris now, and the other hand is still in my ass; she is holding back my orgasm till I make a decision.
And I want it. Suddenly I know what I want. I want to feel her hands on my hips as she drives the strap into my ass.
Oh god.
“I want to take the strap,” I whisper, but I am sure.
"For me?” she asks.
"Yes, Max."
"Tell me exactly what you want.”
My heart beats quicker and I know she wants to hear the words. I take a breath.