5. Kinsley
5
KINSLEY
Present—1989.
“ A nd… cut!”
I breathe a sigh of relief and take a step back from Wesley. My lips tingle from the lingering feel of his thin ones pressed against mine. Although his breath is minty and his lips soft, I can’t get away from him fast enough.
“Good job, Kin,” Wesley compliments, his plain brown hair styled back neatly behind his ears. He shoves his hands into the pockets of the blue denim jacket hugging his thin shoulders. “I think that was our best scene yet.”
“Yeah, sure,” I murmur.
While I like Wesley and think he’s a nice guy and one of the better co-workers I’ve had in my time in the industry, I don’t see myself being friends with him once this movie wraps up. Yes, our chemistry on set while filming It’s Always Been You is exactly what’s needed for our characters, I simply don’t think we mesh well as people outside of our work environment. We don’t have much in common since he enjoys talking about politics and jazz music. I don’t share that enjoyment because I couldn’t care less about politics and jazz music is my least favorite genre. Overall, he’s just not my type.
Keeping my distance is easier than wasting my time getting to know Wesley, only for me to not speak to him once filming wraps up.
We have only been on set for one week, and it didn’t take long for me to realize he has a crush on me. I can tell by the way his face lights up when he sees me or how his cheeks flush whenever I compliment him. There is nothing wrong with him feeling that way, even if he hasn’t outwardly expressed those feelings to me, but I don’t plan to reciprocate those feelings because I’m not looking to date anyone right now.
Well… Nash Beck doesn’t count. But that’s beside the point.
I just don’t trust men. I learned from an early age that most men only want one thing and once they have it, they will toss you away like a piece of trash. Sadly, I learned it the hard way.
Besides the one boyfriend I had when I was seventeen, I barely dated throughout high school, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. I wanted to put myself out there and meet men because I refused to allow what happened to me to affect my future, but I was too busy working like a dog—courtesy of my parents. It was strange, really, but I didn’t mind. It meant I could keep my peace for a little while longer. I figured the man for me would appear in my life when I least expected it.
At least, that’s what I’m hoping for.
I see my stylist, Cindy, approaching to touch up my makeup and find myself relaxing. She’s an older woman in her late fifties, with graying hair and a kind smile. She has a motherly vibe about her that always makes me feel comfortable and taken care of when I’m with her. Something I’m not used to experiencing in my life. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have the love and support she offers me. She truly is a gift, and one I will always cherish.
“You have a missed call from Sadie,” Cindy says as she fluffs my blowout and swipes a brush over my cheeks. She likes to make the blush on my cheeks brighter than usual to draw out the brightness of my eyes. “She wants you to call her back when you get off work.”
I smile at the mention of my best friend and clear my throat. “Of course. I shouldn’t be too much longer. We only have one more scene to shoot.”
I’ve been so busy with work the past few weeks that I’ve neglected spending time with her. But after what happened with Nash two days ago, I need to fill her in on the new details of my life.
Adam and Nash’s agent met up yesterday to discuss the terms of the contract. I was on set filming when the meeting took place and Nash was doing whatever it was he does during the day, so neither of us were present. But Adam said it went well. The contract states we are to be seen in public for the first time together next Friday night at an award show, so it’ll be lights, camera, and action from then on for the next six months.Well, once we sign the contract, that is.
I would love to back out of this deal and say fuck it, but I know Adam is right. If I want It Girl to do well, I need my face to be in the media as much as possible. I don’t like the idea of being associated with Nash Beck, but there is no such thing as bad press… right?
“One minute until scene eighteen!” Jason calls out from his director's chair behind the large cameras pointed directly at Wesley and me. “Places!”
“Good luck,” Cindy whispers and squeezes my hand before rushing to stand beside the cameras and crew members.
“All right, so we’re doing the date scene, yes?” Wesley confirms with a sharp nod, although he doesn’t need me to answer when it’s clear he’s sure of himself. I think he likes to speak for the fun of it sometimes.
I blow out a long breath and run my hand over the cream fuzzy sweater tucked into a denim mini skirt hugging my curves as the set crew transforms the backdrop to look like we’re at a park. A wooden park bench is rolled onto the set, and multiple bunches of fake bushes are set up behind us to add to the backdrop.
Two small children stand off to the side beside the film crew in similar uniforms to the ones Travis and I wore during the filming of Schoolyard Quest , making them appear much smaller than they are. I was about their age back then, with the same youthful gaze of excitement. If only I had known what would be thrown at me just two years later.
I just hope those kids never have to face what I endured.
You’re so young and beautiful, Kinnie. And you’re all mine.
Wesley grabs my hand and turns us to face the large camera pointed directly at us. His hand is cold in mine and slightly rough around the palm. I want to recoil from his touch out of instinct, but Jason calls out, “Action!” before I can.
Instead of calling Sadie after I finished work for the day as I promised, I had Cindy ask her to meet me at our favorite bar— Limelight —downtown for a drink. We have so much to talk about that a drink or two will be necessary. Besides, I’m not in the mood to see my parents. I don’t know for sure that they’re at my house, but the possibility is enough for me to not want to risk it.
I have tried to tell them that they don’t need to stop by my house every single day after work to check in on me, but my words seem to go in one ear and out the other. It’s clear they are invested in my career—more so than me as their daughter—so there is no reasoning with them.
It drives me up the wall that they still treat me like I’m the little eight-year-old girl who got her first cereal commercial. But I’m a grown woman who doesn’t need her parents micromanaging her life.
I walk into Limelight a little after 5 pm and spot Sadie sitting in the back of the dimly lit room with two cocktail glasses on the high-top table in front of her. She’s wearing a white long-sleeved blouse tucked into beige chinos. The tight chocolate brown ringlets sprouting out of the top of her head fall around her shoulders. Even in this light, she looks beautiful.
I can’t believe she’s my best friend. It astounds me every day.
“Kin!” Sadie calls across the quiet bar upon seeing me.
I maneuver my way past patrons sitting at tables with their friends having an afternoon beer. The floor is sticky under the soles of my white sneakers and the air is stale with beer and cheap cigarettes. I fight the urge to gag at the atrocious smell and continue toward Sadie.
When I reach the table, she pushes the glass toward me. “Your favorite drink. On the house, of course.”
I smile and slide onto the barstool across from her. I’m quick to wrap my lips around the plastic straw and swallow a mouthful of the fruity Vodka cocktail. It’s exactly what I needed after the long day I had smacking lips with Wesley.
Sadie smiles at me. “It seems like you’ve had a long day.”
I sigh and rest my elbow on top of the table, swirling the straw around the glass, the colorful beaded bracelet around my wrist clinking against the gold bracelet my parents gave me for my eighteenth birthday. “You read my mind. It’s been the longest day ever. All I want to do is crawl into bed until the sun rises tomorrow, but I wanted to see you first.”
She holds a hand over her heart as if trying to hold it inside of her chest. “You really know how to make a girl swoon, Kin.”
I roll my eyes and lean across the table to shove her shoulder. The blouse is silkier under my touch than I originally thought. Even in high school, Sadie wore the nicest clothes money could buy. There was never a hair out of place and she always dressed in the current style. Thanks to her parents’ wealth, she could have anything she wanted. It was something I envied because although I had my own money from acting, my parents wouldn’t let me touch a single cent. They said it had to go away for savings, but I know that was all bullshit now. They were using me as a piggy bank until I was eighteen.
“How have you been?” Sadie asks, sipping on her drink. “It feels like forever since I last saw you.”
I sigh and sip my drink before answering. “I know. And I’m sorry. I hate that I sometimes let my work get in the way of making time for the people in my life, but I’ll work on it.”
Sadie waves me off with her hand. “You don’t need to apologize. I’m the same. My boss has been giving me a lot more work lately, so I’ve been swamped.”
Sadie works in marketing and is always complaining about her boss and how he continues to have her complete other colleagues' tasks because he thinks she’s ‘more capable’ than any of them. While it’s a nice compliment, it doesn’t mean she should have to take on more work because her coworkers are lazy fucks.
“Have you spoken to him about the extra workload?”
She shakes her head. “No. I tried to a few weeks ago, but he just went on and on about how I’m his best employee, and he wishes he could promote me but head office won’t allow it yet. Blah, blah, blah. It was just a load of shit, really. He just doesn’t want to tell his team to pick up their slack, so I’m the one left drowning in their tasks.”
A pink flush coats her cheeks and I just know that she’s frustrated. It’s her tell. Everyone has one. Just like how Sadie also plays with her right earring whenever she’s nervous or uncomfortable. I’ve known her since the first day of freshman year in high school when I moved to Los Angeles, so she’s like an open book to me.
However, I can’t say the same for Sadie in regard to me.
She’ll be disgusted in you, Kinnie.
Once she knows of your past, she won’t be able to look at you the same.
I shudder at the thought of my best friend unable to look me in the eye if she were to ever learn the truth. But the guilt of having not told her after all these years still lingers in the back of my mind, right next to the demon glaring at me, its soulless eyes piercing right through me.
“I know you can handle yourself, but don’t let that asshole walk all over you, okay? You’re stronger than that. You’re better than that.”
Sadie inhales a long breath and nods. “I know. You’re right. I have a meeting with him next week for a performance review, so I’ll bring it up to him then. Hopefully, he doesn’t laugh in my face.”
I ball my right fist and hold it up to her. “If he does, tell him he’ll have this waiting for him.”
Sadie bursts out laughing and shakes her head. The soft curls framing her face bounce with the movement and I can’t help but smile.
“So scary,” she wheezes through bursts of laughter. She calms herself by taking a long sip of her cocktail and shifts in her seat. “Okay, you’re caught up on me, so what’s new with you? In your world, I’m sure there is lots of crazy shit going on.”
That’s an understatement .
“Well, where do I begin?” I have so much shit I need to tell her, but the information is like a jumbled mess in my brain that I’m finding it hard to pinpoint where to start.
So, I tell her about Wesley and the movie we’re filming together. It’s a high school romance drama where I play the female lead. My character is the captain of the cheerleading squad and Wesley plays the geeky math student who needs to tutor me. Of course, our characters fall in love and it’s a happily ever after, but not without some drama along the way.
“How is filming going?” Sadie asks. She slurps up the last of the liquid in the bottom of the glass.
I shrug, twirling the plastic straw around the glass mindlessly. “Same old, same old. Wesley is a nice guy, although a shit kisser, but he’s okay. I’m pretty sure he has a crush on me, which puts me in an odd spot of wanting to keep my distance so I don’t give him any unwarranted ideas I feel the same way. But he’s my coworker, so I have to spend a lot of time with him on set. It’s a slippery slope.”
Sadie snorts. “Everyone has a crush on you, Kin. You’re Hollywood’s sweetheart.”
I roll my eyes at her words. “I wouldn’t go as far as to say that.”
Yes, my career has taken off in the past few years with the movies and television shows I’ve starred in, but I wouldn’t dare think I’m one of the most famous people in Hollywood… am I? I don’t know. I try to stay away from all forms of media because it messes with my head too much. I don’t care to listen to what people have to say about me or my acting.
I just want to live a normal life. Well, as normal as it can be.
It wasn’t until I was eighteen that I started to resent my parents for forcing me into acting when I was a child. I realized it wasn’t normal for men with cameras and women with microphones to follow you out of your house or the shopping mall, begging for a photo or an interview. It started to impact my personal life to the point I couldn’t go anywhere without the feeling of someone following me.
Even now as I sit here with my best friend enjoying a drink, I feel the cameras pointed in my direction. They’re just better at hiding from me now.
I suppose nearly punching a photographer in the face for invading my space when I was fresh out of high school did the trick. But that’s in the past.
“You’re too humble, Kin. But what’s wrong with this Wesley?”
“He’s just…” I try to find the right word to describe him, but the only word that comes to my mind is: “Plain.”
Sadie raises a skeptical brow at me as an amused look settles over her smooth features. “Plain? What’s wrong with plain?”
“Nothing. I just…”
I don’t know how to describe it. Ever since I became an adult, I have been cautious about the men I let into my life. This isn’t high school anymore; these men are no longer intimidated by my name as an actress in the papers. Anytime I tried to date, it always ended with them wanting something from me. Whether it was to meet someone in the industry, borrow money, or sleep with me.
It matters to me now, unlike back then when I was a teenager.
I was always left feeling disappointed and frustrated.
With Wesley, he’s a little too plain and boy-next-door for me.Nothing wrong with that, but it’s just not what I’m looking for in a man.
“I get it,” Sadie says, a smile turning up the corner of her mouth. “You want a bad boy.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s definitely not what I want, but you can think whatever you like.” Speaking of a bad boy… “That reminds me. I need to tell you something.”
Sadie’s green eyes widen to saucers. “What? Is everything okay?”
I nod. “Everything is fine. It’s just… You can’t tell anyone I told you this, okay?”
Sadie shoots me a look that says, ‘ Are you serious? ’ “Kin, who am I going to tell? You know you’re my only friend besides Matt.”
I know, but it still feels nice to hear.
“Okay.” I shuffle forward in my seat and lean across the table. Sadie follows suit. The last thing I need is someone overhearing my next words. “So, my agency has struck up a… deal for me that lasts six months.”
“Like… a movie deal?”
I shake my head. “I have to date someone for six months. Adam claims dating this person will boost the interest in It Girl when it releases in a couple of months.”
Sadie frowns. “So, you have to fake date someone? Who?”
Before I can utter his name, the devil himself waltzes into Limelight with a pretty brunette woman tucked against his side. With his towering height and intimidating presence, he makes her small frame look like an ant struggling to keep up.
All eyes in the quiet room turn to Nash Beck as he walks toward the bar, followed by a few guys I don’t recognize. Well, one of them is that creepy guy I met the other night. Just the sight of his beady eyes sends a chill down my spine.
The group makes a ruckus with their loud voices, disturbing the peace from moments ago. Before they got here, the music was quiet and the regulars were watching their favorite sports teams on the little box television behind the bar. Now, the music has been turned up, which means it’s time for the afternoon patrons to leave and the all-night partygoers to arrive.
My eyes follow Nash as he stands by the bar. He’s wearing black jeans, a white T-shirt, and a black leather jacket. His curly hair is a mess around his face like he’s run his hands through the strands one too many times. Or the girl next to him with her hands all over his chest had something to do with it. Either way, he looks devilishly handsome. Which I hate to admit, but I’m only human.
“Him,” I mutter softly. I manage to tear my eyes away from Nash to meet Sadie's curious ones.
“N-Nash Beck?” she quizzes, her eyes wide. “You have to fake date Nash Beck? What the hell, Kin.”
“I know. I know. It’s fucking crazy.”
Sadie snorts and looks to where the group is standing, ordering an excessive number of shots that line almost the entire length of the bar. “You could say that again. Why him?”
“Adam says being seen with Nash will bring attention to my name, and in return, I will help clean up his public image. But what I see is a twenty-six year old man who needs a babysitter to ensure he doesn’t tank his career.”
Now that I say it out loud, this whole thing really does sound crazy. But it’s too late to back out now. The deal is done.
Sadie chews on her bottom lip as her eyes lock on the group of men by the bar. I can tell she’s contemplating her next words. When her soft eyes meet mine, I already know the words on the tip of her tongue. “Just be careful, Kin. I know what Nash Beck’s track record is like. He’s a wild one.”
“He’s going to be a lot to handle,” I admit. “It’s not going to be easy, but it’s only for six months. I can last that long. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?”
As the words leave my mouth, mismatched eyes meet mine from across the bar. Fuck . He spotted me.
Nash grins in my direction. I want to so badly punch that fucking grin off his face, but that would land me in jail. I know Nash is used to being thrown in a holding cell, but I’m not.
Holding my gaze over his shoulder, Nash grabs the brunette by the waist and lays her back flat on the bar top, pressing himself against her lower half. All the helpless bartender can do is watch as Nash grabs a shot glass and pours the mysterious brown liquor into the girl's open mouth, her eyes eager as she watches him. He breaks eye contact with me and leans down to drag his tongue up the length of the girl's neck before plunging into her mouth, liquid spilling from the corners of their connected mouths.
Now he’s just fucking with me.
I swallow hard as I watch the two make out for way too long before Nash comes up for air. He grips her cheek in his large hand before sliding it down her chest to rest on her hip. The girl has a smile so wide on her red-painted lips you would think she orgasmed just from that one kiss.
Sadie clears her throat from beside me. “So, that’s your new boyfriend, huh?”
I exhale sharply and nod because that’s all I can do as I watch Nash chug from a bottle of Jack Daniels, the liquid sliding down his smooth throat effortlessly. The girl runs her long red fingernails down the front of his shirt before palming his crotch, not giving a single fuck that she has an entire bar for an audience.
“Yep. That’s my boyfriend all right.”