12. Kinsley
12
KINSLEY
Present—1989.
“ H e’s coming here? To the set?”
I blink at Adam through the vanity mirror in my dressing room, wondering what the big deal is. “Adam, you’re the one who said we need to be seen together more. Besides, he showed me a side to his music that most don’t get to see, so it’s only fair I share this side of me, too.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose, which only further annoys me. What crawled up his ass this morning and died? Adam isn’t one to overreact the way he is now.
“Kin, this isn’t the best place for you to be flaunting your relationship with Nash.”
“Fake relationship,” I remind him pointedly. “The one you talked me into doing. And I’m not flaunting it around. I’m doing exactly what you told me to do, so what’s the problem?”
“Yes, I know,” he says with a frown. “But what I’m saying is, the workplace may not be a great idea. It’s a professional setting, and I don’t want Nash’s presence to upset Jason. We can’t afford to lose this job because of him.”
I roll my eyes. Now he’s just being dramatic. “I’m not going to lose this role because of him. I've already told him that he needs to be on his best behavior, so you have nothing to worry about. Besides, he can only stay for an hour because he has work to do as well.”
Adam stares at me for a long moment as he contemplates my words. I don’t know why he’s acting this way when he’s the reason I’m in this mess to begin with. If he hadn’t pushed so hard for me to accept the deal and sign the contract, then Nash Beck wouldn’t be in either of our lives. And yet, here we are because of him.
If he wants me to make this damn relationship believable then he needs to trust me, otherwise this isn’t going to work.
Adam exhales a sharp breath and shakes his head. “Okay. Fine. He can stop by. But just… don’t let him do anything stupid, okay?”
I slide off the chair and smooth my hand down the front of the cashmere white sweater Cindy dressed me in when I arrived this morning. “I’m not his mother, Adam. Besides, what chaos could Nash possibly do on a movie set? He’ll be fine.”
“I see you two are friendly now,” he grumbles under his breath as he follows me out of the room and down the corridor to the main set. The set design is supposed to be my character's house which she shares with her parents.
“I wouldn’t say that.” Yes, I don’t dislike Nash as much as I once did when I went to his house the night I learned of the deal. He’s still an asshole, but not as big of one as most people make him out to be in the media. Besides the outburst about his parents after the award show, being in his presence when we were talking about music, and how he showed me a glimpse into his life was oddly enjoyable. For once, it didn’t make me want to rip my eyes out of their sockets.
Adam lays his hand on my shoulder, turning me to face him. “Just… be careful, Kin. You know what type of man Nash Beck is.”
I raise a brow at him. “Adam, there is no need for the warning. We’re just getting to know each other to help make this relationship believable, okay? I’m not going to fall in love with him.”
He doesn’t get a chance to respond before Jason ushers me and the two actors who play my parents onto the set. My eyes find Wesley standing in the wings among the many cameras capturing the scene from different angles. When he meets my gaze, his face lights up with a smile and he waves at me from across the room.
I awkwardly return the gesture as I sit on the itchy beige couch in the middle of the designed living room. The room looks like every other house with its chocolate shag carpet, white walls, and wooden furniture. I run my hand over the couch, which has definitely seen better days. It reminds me of the couch I had in my dressing room while filming Schoolyard Quest .
A minute later, Jason is calling for places. When the camera is rolling, I fall into the mindset of my character and get lost in the scene. We have to shoot the scene three more times before the director is happy to move on to the next.
Wesley joins me on the set, the bright lights letting me see more clearly that he’s dressed in a dark blue suit which appears a little big for his frame, creating a baggy look. He settles on the couch beside me, his knees slightly brushing mine.
“You look lovely today, Kinsley.”
I run my hands over my bare knees and offer a half smile. “Thanks, Wesley.”
I never know how to take his compliments or even how to return them. While it’s nice to hear such things from him, the longer I don’t turn down the compliments, the further it encourages him to continue. It’s not a smart choice, but then again, I’m not one for making smart decisions at times.
Wesley adjusts the neckline of the jacket slightly. It wouldn’t surprise me if the suit was many years old and left over from other movies or television shows that were filmed in this same studio. “How was the event you went to the other night?”
“It was good.” I don’t offer further details because it’s not something I want to discuss with him at work. The last thing I want to discuss with my coworker is the details of my private life.
Wesley casts his eyes down as he begins to pick at the lint on the material of the suit pants. “So… I see you’re dating Nash Beck. When did that start?”
I swallow hard. Right. I had forgotten everyone I knew in my life would become aware of my relationship with Nash. I haven’t been on set since the award show because Jason gave us a few days off, so it had slipped my mind that my sudden relationship would be a hot topic around the set.
If my colleagues don’t know about Nash, they will learn soon enough when he stops by today.
“Uh… yeah,” is all I manage to say. I haven’t stopped to think about what our backstory would be. Adam didn’t discuss a plan with me, so now I’m left to my own devices as to what I should tell him.
Sensing my hesitation, Wesley’s eyes widen. “Oh, my God. I didn’t mean to overstep any boundaries, Kin. If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to.”
I shake my head. “No. It’s okay.” This question surely would’ve come up sooner or later in future interviews about Nash and me, so I may as well use this conversation as practice. “A month. We started dating a month ago but wanted to keep it on the down low before we shared it with the world. I’m sure you can understand.”
A disappointed look crosses Wesley’s face. “Yeah. I get it. It’s just… how did you two meet? I mean, Nash Beck is rowdy and whatnot. He doesn’t seem like your type.”
I raise a brow at him. “My type? What does that even mean, Wesley?”
“I just mean that you’re too good for him, Kin.”
“Too good—Wesley, you don’t even know Nash besides what the media depicts him as.”
I don’t know why I feel the need to defend Nash when he is more than capable of handling himself, but it doesn’t sit right with me to hear Wesley talk badly about him. Yes, Nash is a rowdy rockstar who takes drugs and drinks more alcohol than he does water, but it doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. He’s just… different. And that’s okay.
Wesley’s lips form a thin line as he holds his hands up in defense. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Kin. I’m sorry. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
Before I can open my mouth to respond, a deep voice halts the words in my throat.
“You don’t need to worry about my little devil. That’s my job.”
Our heads snap to look at where Nash is standing at the edge of the set. His right hand is shoved deep into the pockets of the black jeans covering his long legs. A black leather jacket is slung over his shoulder, his other hand holding it by the collar, with a white tank top covering his torso—specks of black ink visible through the thin material. His curls are wild and messy atop his head, hanging low above his shoulders.
All he needs to complete the rockstar look is a cigarette between his lips where the lip ring is and a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand.
Nash steps onto the set, his black combat boots out of place against the bright backdrop. He tilts his head to the side, looking between Wesley and me. His mismatched eyes are even brighter under the studio lights. Enough to make Wesley shift uncomfortably on the couch.
Nash Beck looks like the Devil in disguise, ready to consume my soul. I’m afraid if I look at his devastatingly handsome features for too long, he just might.
“Is he bothering you?” Nash directs the question to me, but his eyes never leave Wesley. He drags the jacket off his shoulder, the material now hanging by his side. “If he is, just say the word and I’ll take care of him for you.”
Wesley swallows hard, his body tense beside me. “I-I wasn’t bothering her. I promise.”
“Ease up on him,” I say to Nash. However, I must admit that seeing him act this way to another man for me is doing something to my core I don’t want to acknowledge.
He’s just acting , my subconscious reminds me. So, join in and play the part .
Ignoring me, Nash faces Wesley fully, and out of the corner of my eye, I see my co-star’s entire body stiffen. Nash points a finger at Wesley’s chest, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “If I hear from my little devil that you’re harassing her, you won’t want to see what I’m capable of. Got it?”
Wesley nods his head so quickly I’m surprised his neck doesn’t snap from the movement.
Not wanting the situation to escalate further, I wrap my hand around Nash’s wrist and stand from the couch. “Let’s go to my dressing room. Now.”
Nash winks at me as a shit-eating grin spreads across his lips. “Oh, Kin, you naughty thing. If you want me, just say so.”
I groan in annoyance as I tug Nash behind me. Stepping off the set, I shoot an apologetic look at Jason. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
He simply nods in acknowledgment, allowing me to pull the idiot behind me down the corridor and into my dressing room.
Nash walks into the room and I close the door behind me, leaning my back against it. “What the hell was that?”
He lifts his eyes to meet mine and grins. “I did good, right? I’m not used to being someone’s boyfriend, so all of this is new to me.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose to control the frustration building in my chest. “Nash, you can’t go around threatening my coworker, okay? You need to dial it back a tad.”
He shrugs as he gazes around the small space, taking in the wooden vanity with all my make-up cluttered on top, the multiple racks of clothing for the different scenes I’ll be shooting today, and the snack table. His gaze lingers on the packet of Hostess Pudding Pies that is half empty, courtesy of me when I arrived this morning. “He deserved it anyway. I don’t take lightly to people talking shit about me.”
I blow out a long breath and chew on my bottom lip. Maybe I was quick to overreact to his behavior. If anything, I understand it. Being in the public eye and constantly having judgmental opinions thrown your way about the way you look or how you act is all too familiar. “It wasn’t right for Wesley to talk about you like that. But he only has that opinion because of what the media spreads in the tabloids.”
He needs to understand if his public image were better, people wouldn’t have the preconceived notions they do about him. The idea has been drilled into my head far too many times by my mother.
Nash plops down on the couch and splays his long arms across the back of it, his leather jacket forgotten about on the cushion beside him. “Whatever. He seems like a dickhead anyway. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that he has the biggest crush on you. I’m sure he beats it off every night to your pretty little face.”
My cheeks flare at his suggestive words. Reaching for one of my tennis shoes beside the door, I launch it across the room. It hits him in the stomach, but of course, he doesn’t flinch. “There is no need for that type of language, asshole.”
Nash shrugs as a shit-eating grin spreads across his face. “What, you don’t like the idea that your coworker would do something like that? That he lies in bed at night picturing your face while he grabs his cock and rubs?—”
“Okay, shut up, Nash,” I interrupt quickly, my cheeks aflame and stomach knotting. God, he’s so crude at times. “And he doesn’t do that, so stop saying it, okay?”
He holds his hands up in defense and leans forward, his eyes meeting mine. “Fine. I’ll stop. But I’m being serious. If he gets handsy or continues to harass you, I will take great pleasure in sorting him out.”
I roll my eyes, but I can’t ignore the way his words ignite a spark deep in my core. I don’t know if he’s still acting or being serious, but I don’t ask. In my mind, it’s best not to know what Nash’s true intentions are. I’m sure he is just looking for an excuse to get his hands dirty, and Wesley seems like an easy target.
Nash looks around the room once more before settling his gaze on me. I’m still standing awkwardly by the door, so I walk across the room and sit down on the couch beside him. His woodsy cologne is thick as it insults my nostrils, but I don’t care. I find it comforting in a way. Like I’m sitting in a cabin in the middle of the woods, not a soul within a twenty-mile radius, the fireplace crackling, and birds chirping outside the window as snow settles on the ground.
“So, I’ve told you my backstory, little devil. What’s yours?”
I tug my bottom lip between my teeth and contemplate his words.
He wants to know my backstory? Where do I even fucking begin?
“Well, I started acting when I was eight years old.”
Nash’s eyes widen. “Eight? That seems a bit young.”
“I agree.” I sigh and fold my hands in my lap. The sensation of my thumb picking at the skin around my middle finger sends a jolt of pain up my arm, but I ignore it. “I didn’t have much of a choice. My parents told me that one day I would be a huge movie star who makes lots of money, enough to help support them too, and will live in a nice house with expensive belongings. To any eight-year-old kid, that lifestyle sounded like a dream. And, of course, I agreed to take acting lessons and go to auditions.”
Nash doesn’t say a word as he listens, and I’m grateful for it. While I do have some good memories of my childhood, it doesn’t erase the demons lurking in the depths of my mind, constantly reminding me of a time I have tried so hard to forget but fail to achieve every time.
This is our little secret, Kinnie. Remember that .
I swallow hard and force the voices to the back of my mind. “I started my career acting in commercials and random advertisements. When I was ten, I got the lead role in a children’s show called Schoolyard Quest . The show did so well that I got role after role in television because many directors in Hollywood wanted me. I got my first movie deal when I was fourteen, and I guess the rest is history.”
Nash blows out a long breath, his eyes watching me intently. “That’s it?”
I nod, not understanding what else he expects me to say. I can’t possibly tell him about Reggie or how my life changed after that damn TV show. Or the one after it.
When I meet his eyes, I feel the intensity radiating off them in waves. My heart rate spikes. Why is he looking at me like that?
He chuckles a humorless laugh and shakes his head. “I’ve met a lot of people in my life, Kin, and not once have I met someone with the same darkness swirling in their eyes as me. Not until I met you.”
I frown. “That’s the second time you’ve said you can see darkness in my eyes. What are you referring to?”
Nash tugs on his lip ring with fingers, tilting his head ever so slightly. The movement enhances his already striking features, making him appear menacing. “All I’m saying, little devil, is the name suits the face. There is more to you than meets the eye.”
I clench my fists in my lap and inhale a slow, calming breath. “You’re one to talk. You said you share the same darkness, Nash. So what demons are you also running from?”
His jaw ticks at my words and I know I hit a nerve. If he wants to talk about the darkness and demons I’m running from, then he better acknowledge his own. Something from his past bothers him just as much as mine, and I can’t help but be intrigued by what it is.
Somehow knowing he’s dealing with similar demons to mine makes me feel less alone.
I bite back a smug grin. “That’s what I thought. When you’re ready to tell me about the demons from your past, then I’ll share mine.”
“You got me there, little devil.”
Nash’s gaze moves from my face down to my hand wrapped around my right wrist. He raises a brow. “Cute bracelet.”
I don’t even need to look down at the colorful beaded bracelet to know exactly what he’s referring to. My fingers graze over the worn material as the memory of the day I gave Travis a matching one slips into my mind, sliding past the whispers of the demons.
“I haven’t taken it off since I was ten.”
“What significance does it hold to you?”
The words are like a dagger to my heart, holding so much weight behind them. Sadie and Matt asked about the bracelet when we first met, curious as to why I never took it off. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell them about Travis, but I wanted to keep the importance of the bracelet between us for a little while longer. I told them I made it as a kid and enjoy wearing it, which explains why I don’t take it off.
They accepted the answer, not pushing it any further. As the years passed, it became too late to explain the real story behind the bracelet, so I left it at that. My friends don’t know just how much meaning it holds or how I would definitely shed a tear if it were ever to break.
My lungs ache for fresh air as I hold my breath, finding the right words to describe the meaning of the bracelet to a man who knows nothing about my past.
“Well…” I attempt to clear the words lodged in my throat, but it’s a useless effort. “I made matching bracelets for my friend during the first TV show we worked on together. We both agreed to never take them off. It’s a reminder of my friendship with him and all the amazing memories we share.”
And the worst years of our lives , I want to add, but the words stay hidden on my tongue.
“This bracelet allows me to feel closer to him, even if life gets in the way and we don’t talk as much as we once did.”
Nash tugs on his lip ring before shifting on the couch. He brings his leg up to rest his ankle on his knees, his mismatched eyes locked with mine. “Who is this guy? Do I need to beat his ass too?”
I chuckle and shake my head. “That won’t be necessary. But I do think you two would get along. You both have the same taste in music and know how to form a witty remark on the fly.”
A sharp knock sounds at the closed door, followed by a voice. “Kin, we need you back on set.”
“Shit,” I curse under my breath. Getting to my feet, I rush over to the vanity and check my makeup in the mirror. I feel Nash’s eyes on the back of my head. “I need to go back to work. You don’t have to stick around if you’re busy.”
I see Nash stand from the couch through the mirror, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I think I’ll stick around.”
I spin on my heels and walk toward the door. “Suit yourself.”
Nash silently follows me down the corridor until we reach the set.
Cindy rushes toward me to check my makeup, even though I just did it myself. She fluffs my hair and places a delicate hand on my shoulder, her eyes meeting mine. “He’s cute,” she whispers.
A blush creeps up my throat as I huff a small laugh. I know who she is talking about without her saying his name.
“Kin, let’s go,” Jason says from his seat, gesturing with his hand for me to join Wesley.
I nod and step onto the set. Wesley smiles at me when I join him on the couch. Blowing out a long, controlled breath, I prepare to slip into my acting mindset.
Just when I think I’m ready to start filming, I look up and spot Nash standing beside the multiple cameras pointed toward me. His mismatched eyes are on me and his features are unreadable.
I swallow hard, my resolve slipping. He looks haunting standing in the darkness like that, his eyes slightly illuminated by the lights shining above the set. I’m convinced the wings tattooed on his back could shoot out from his skin at any second like a fallen angel.
If I’m a little devil, then he’s fucking Satan.