20. Kinsley
20
KINSLEY
M y eyes widen and my heart just about jumps out of my throat at his words. “W-what?”
Nash leans back against the tiled wall, spreads his long legs in front of him, and nods at the soaked denim clinging to my legs. “I said, take them off.”
All I can do is stare at him while my brain catches up. Nash simply watches me quietly, his eyes boring into mine, allowing me time to make my decision. I have the choice to stop whatever this is right now and walk away without so much as a word, but deep down, I know I can’t.
Something is pulling me toward Nash, like an invisible string tied around my throat, tugging me closer inch by inch. The curiosity to find out what will happen if I do take my pants off far outweighs the voice in my head telling me that this is a bad idea and not at all part of the contract we signed.
Swallowing hard, I lift my shaky fingers to the button on my jeans and pop it open. I step out of my flats, and kick them to the side. Nash’s eyes follow the movement of my hands as I push the heavy material down my legs. It’s a struggle, but I manage to get the jeans off and toss them into a heap on the floor.
Mismatched eyes trail down the length of my body until they reach the black lace underwear hugging my hips. I feel nervous under his intense gaze and can’t help but use my hands to cover my lower half.
Nash’s hands reach out to pull my hands away, his grip firm around my wrists. His tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip as his eyes meet mine. “You’re beautiful, Kin. You should never feel the need to cover yourself in front of me.”
A jolt of heat splashes across my cheeks at his words. I never thought I would hear those words come out of Nash’s mouth, but I must admit that they’re nice to hear.
It’s been a while since I’ve been intimate with a man. Too long to remember.
The demons lurking in my mind make it almost impossible to take that next step for fear they’ll send me into a full-blown panic attack.
But at this moment with Nash gazing at me with such intensity, desire lurking beneath the depths of the ocean and forest in his eyes, the voices of the demons are drowned out.
“Come here.” Nash beckons me toward him with a flick of his hand, and my feet move on their own accord, stepping forward to stand between his spread legs. His hands trail up the side of my thighs and over the curve of my hips until they reach the hem of the light brown sweatshirt hanging from my shoulders. “You won’t be needing this. If I’m shirtless, then it’s only fair that you are too.”
My eyes scan his bare chest and the tattoos covering his skin. I have the strong urge to reach out and touch his skin, to feel the warmth of it beneath my fingertips. But I remain still, wanting to see what he does next.
He’s in control, and I must admit that I quite enjoy it.
“And now I’m the only one without pants on,” I point out as my sweatshirt joins my soaked jeans on the shower floor.
Nash smirks as his eyes rake over the matching lace bra. When I got changed into my comfiest pair of jeans, not bothering to put a shirt on under my sweatshirt earlier this afternoon, I never would have thought I would be standing in front of Nash, watching as he rid my body of the material. I also never thought the man would see me in a matching lingerie set, yet here we are.
In one swift movement, Nash is on his feet in front of me. He spins us around and lowers me onto the warm tiles. His tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip as he tips his chin up. “Lie down, little devil.”
Doing as I’m told, I turn and lie flat on the tiled bench, gazing up at the man before me. The heat in my core intensifies as I watch Nash lower himself onto the bench, settling between my legs. The bench isn’t long enough for him to fit his six-foot-four frame comfortably, but somehow, he makes it work.
My heart is in my throat when his fingertips brush the skin on my hip, teasing the waistband of my panties. My hand fingers his damp curls, holding onto them for support as he hooks his fingers around the thin material and pulls it down my legs.
Now, I’m fully exposed to him.
The thought alone has my pussy dripping for him. I have the strong urge to clench my thighs together, but Nash is holding them apart with his large hands, his eyes wandering over my core.
“So pink,” he breathes, admiration on the tip of his tongue. “And so fucking pretty.”
“Nash,” I utter softly, unsure what else to say. I want him to touch me, to taste me. I want him to do something . “Please.”
Nash grins as his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek. “So eager, little devil.” His fingers trail up the inside of my thigh as his mouth descends on the soft skin there, kissing and sucking until he inches his way to where I want him the most. “Well, lucky for you, I’m always eager to please, especially when you have a cunt that I’m dying to get my mouth on.”
Stars shoot across my vision when his lips press against my exposed pussy. My grip on Nash’s hair tightens when he runs his tongue down the center of my folds, the pleasure forcing my back into an arch. His grip on my thighs tightens to hold me in place as he devours my core, lapping and licking the skin like a depraved, hungry man who hasn’t eaten in days.
“Fuck, Nash,” I moan and press myself against his mouth, begging for more. I need more. “Please.”
A deep rumble vibrates across my pussy as Nash chuckles against me, which only heightens the pleasure coursing through my body. My eyes nearly roll to the back of my head when he slips two fingers inside of me while his tongue expertly works my slit.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
This man knows what he’s doing, which isn’t a surprise given how many women are on his tally. But that doesn’t bother me. Not when my core is coiled so tight that I’m seconds away from exploding on his tongue.
“Nash,” I pant, tugging on his hair a little harder as my back arches. I hook a leg over his shoulder, and he uses it as leverage to deepen his fingers inside of me. His pace doesn’t falter even as I stifle a cry of pleasure. “I’m so close.”
Nash pulls away long enough to meet my gaze. A smirk touches his lips as he continues to drive his fingers into me mercilessly, hitting my G spot with each pump. “Come for me, little devil. I want to hear you scream my name.”
That was all it took for the pressure in my core to explode, sending colorful spots of light dancing across my vision as I come all over Nash’s fingers. His name explodes from my throat, and I just know he’s wearing the biggest shit-eating grin because I did exactly what he asked of me. But I don’t care. Not when I feel this satisfied.
My hold on Nash’s hair grows lax and my arm falls limp by my side. No man has ever made me orgasm like that before, and now I’m wondering how I went so long without getting to experience such a high.
My body feels as though I’m drifting on a cloud—weightless and free—that I can’t help but smile.
Nash presses a kiss to my inner thigh before pulling away to hover over my body. He grins down at me with a satisfied look on his face. “I had no idea you were such a screamer, little devil.”
I playfully roll my eyes. “All right, don’t let it inflate your ego any more than it already is.” My eyes drift down to Nash’s crotch to see he’s still as hard as a rock beneath the material. “Let me help you with that.”
Before I can get my hand anywhere near him, Nash leans back on his knees and shakes his head. “This isn’t about me, Kin. I wanted to do this for you.”
I lean up on my elbows, my brows creased in a frown. “Why?”
Nash gets off the bench and walks over to the showerhead to finally switch off the running water. I cringe at how much water has been wasted since I first brought Nash in earlier, but I was too distracted to care until now.
He turns to me with an amused smile on his lips. “Is it really so hard to believe I wanted to get you off because I enjoy it? And mostly because I wanted to hear you scream my name, which I succeeded in doing.”
I roll my eyes and push myself into a seated position. My clothes are ruined on the floor beside me. They’re nothing but a sopping wet mess, so there is no way I’m going to be able to wear them home. “Well, I’m glad to see you’re back to your usual self.”
Nash tugs his lip ring between his teeth and looks down at his bare feet, kicking at a small puddle of water in the grout. “Yeah, about that…” He scratches the back of his head. “Thank you again for coming, I just… A lot is going on in my head and I just needed it to stop.”
“But not permanently, right?” I clarify with a raised brow. Knowing this situation could’ve been a lot worse for Nash if he had been overdosing instead of passed out makes my stomach twist uncomfortably.
He chuckles and shakes his head. “Yes, not permanently. I didn’t mean to make you worry, but I appreciate you caring enough to check on me.”
I stand from the bench and grab my underwear off the floor, slipping the wet material up my thighs. “Whatever you’re dealing with… there are other ways to cope with it. Trust me, drugs and alcohol are not the answer. Your life is way too valuable to ruin it with that shit.”
Nash holds my gaze intently from across the shower, his jaw ticking as he considers my words. “And how would you know that, little devil? My life being valuable, I mean.”
I swallow hard, my throat dry. Suddenly, I feel vulnerable standing in front of Nash half-naked, the high of my recent orgasm wearing off. But I don't want him to know that. Not when he’s willingly throwing me some goddamn breadcrumbs about his life.
“You might not see it, Nash, but you’re a talented man with a gift for performing. You were born to do this, to be out on stage performing for your fans and writing music that could one day change someone's life. I don’t know why you find it so hard to believe that you’re worthy of this life, so just… appreciate it a little more, yeah?”
A cold shiver races down my spine now that the hot water has been turned off and I’m in nothing but a thin lingerie set.
Nash must notice the goosebumps covering my skin because he points to the bathroom door. “I’ll grab you something to wear home.”
I follow him out of the shower and into the bedroom, our previous conversation left in the air as I watch Nash walk into his closet. My drenched clothes are forgotten about on the floor in the shower, but I don’t mind.
While I wait in the middle of the room, I wrap my arm around my waist and use the other to smooth out my drenched hair. Moments later, Nash returns with a black T-shirt with an image of Poison’s band logo on the front and a bunch of tour dates on the back. I hold the shirt up to my chest and gaze down at where the material lands just above my knees.
“You can keep it,” Nash says as I slip the shirt over my head. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his wet sweatpants, his lips turned up in a half smile. “It looks better on you anyway.”
I chew my bottom lip and wrap my arms around my waist. Even though this is a clean shirt, Nash’s woodsy scent is soaked into the material, bringing with it a comfort I didn’t know I needed.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” I say softly, truly meaning it. “But… this can never happen again, okay? It’s not part of the deal. You said it yourself, remember? No falling in love.”
Nash’s mismatched eyes blink rapidly behind the wet curls clinging to his forehead, and it’s as if a switch has been flipped inside of him because the mask I’m used to seeing him wear has returned. Now, he’s the same cool, calm, and collected Nash Beck I met four weeks ago. Gone is the Nash who was starting to open up to me.
I was beginning to make some progress with him only for all that hard work to slip between my fingers, leaving me back at square one.
“Yeah, no, you’re right. Don’t go falling in love with me, little devil. I would hate to have to break your heart.”
Inhaling a deep breath, I nod and walk past him to the bedroom door. There are many witty remarks I could make, but I choose to bite my tongue and leave it be. This entire day has been one big head fuck, so I don’t need to add more fuel to the fire. “I’ll see you next week for the concert.”
I thought I heard Nash attempt to say something, but the words died on his tongue.
As I race out of Nash’s house and get into my car, listening as raindrops slam against the windscreen, I still feel the ghost of his fingers caressing my skin and the feel of his soft lips against mine.
Throwing my head back against the seat, I close my eyes and bite my lip. Goddamn… what have I just gotten myself into?