32. Kinsley
32
KINSLEY
T he fire and intensity in his voice alone are enough for goosebumps to spread across my skin like wildfire. If I wasn’t frozen in fear, I would have cried with joy at hearing his voice.
Why is he here?
And how in the world did he find me?
“I’m not going to tell you again, asshole.” Nash’s voice is surprisingly level despite the harshness in his tone. “Let. Go. Of. Her. Now .”
The creep behind me releases my ass and takes a step back. The distance quiets some of the voices screaming in my head, but it does nothing to reduce the panic coursing through my body. My skin tingles with the memory of his hand against me and my stomach twists painfully.
I’m worried if I can’t manage to fill my lungs with air soon, I’m going to pass out.
Somehow, I signal my body to turn around despite how heavy my limbs feel, just in time to watch Nash shove the guy by the shoulders. The man stumbles back but not enough to fall flat on his ass.
Nash isn’t looking at me; his focus is instead on the creep who had laid his hands on me. The fire behind his mismatched eyes sends a shiver racing down my spine.
I have never seen him so enraged before and it’s because of me .
“Your girl?” Creepy Man asks with a smugness to his voice I wish he hadn’t used. It’s only going to make Nash angrier. “Last time I checked, she was alone.”
His suggestive tone makes my skin crawl.
Nash’s jaw clenches as his eyes grow hooded. “And last time I checked, you were touching her without her consent. So if I were you, I would get the fuck out of here before I get the police involved.”
This is a side to Nash I haven’t seen before. Knowing his track record, this would be the perfect opportunity to beat the shit out of this guy and get enjoyment out of watching him suffer for what he did. Instead, he’s threatening to call the police.
I never thought I would see the day when Nash chooses common sense over violence.
Nash takes a menacing step forward, towering over Creepy Man with his six-foot-four intimating height. If I were this asshole, I would be trembling in my boots.
“If you don’t get the fuck out of my sight in ten seconds, I’m going to have to demonstrate to my girl what happens to assholes who touch her.” Nash’s jaw ticks as he locks eyes with Creepy Man. When the man makes no move to leave, Nash rolls his tongue in his mouth and begins counting. “Ten…”
That’s all it takes for Creepy Man to get the hint. He steps away from Nash and throws a dirty look over his shoulder at me. As he’s walking away, I hear him mutter something about me not being hot enough to be worth it anyway before I lose him in the crowd on the dance floor.
Only when he’s out of my sight do I inhale such a large breath I almost choke on it. Within seconds, Nash’s strong arms wrap around me, holding me firmly against his chest. One hand presses against my back while the other runs through my hair, soothing the panic attempting to explode from within my chest.
“Shh, I’ve got you, Kin,” Nash whispers into my hair.
I’m in too much of a panicked state to register how gentle of a response that is for him. Instead, I cling to his body like he could slip away at any moment, leaving me once again with Creepy Man.
No one in the bar is paying any mind to us as we stand like this, likely too drunk to realize what’s going on, which I’m grateful for. I don’t need any more drama circling in the media with the current scandal.
After a long while, Nash pulls away and lowers himself until we’re at eye level. The fire in his eyes has calmed slightly, but it’s still there. He studies my face intently for any other damage. When he finds nothing, he stands to his full height. “I’m getting you out of here, okay? Wait for me by the exit and I’ll go tell your friends. Make sure a security guard is nearby.”
I barely have time to open my mouth to ask how he knows who I’m with before he’s walking through the crowd, disappearing out of sight. Leaving now would mean cutting the night short with my friends, but I’m too mentally and emotionally exhausted to stay here any longer. It doesn’t help my anxiety either knowing Creepy Man is still lurking around.
Without a second thought, I race through the crowd to the exit. Relief washes over me when I see a stocky older man with graying hair standing by the door. His features are hard as he glances around the bar, but they soften momentarily when he spots me standing nearby as if he knows I’m using his presence for protection.
Thankfully, I don’t have to wait long before I spot Nash’s towering frame emerging from the crowd of people. His long strides reach me within seconds and he wraps his hand firmly around mine.
I wave goodbye to the security guard and follow Nash out onto the street, passing by paps waiting nearby in bushes along the sidewalk. Even though Nash knows they’re there, he doesn’t slow his pace until we reach his car parked down the street.
As I slide into the front seat, I’m greeted with a moment of silence while Nash rounds the car to the driver’s side door.
This is the first time the paps have seen us together in public since the scandal hit headlines and, unfortunately, Nash dragging me out of a bar at 11 pm is not what our agencies had in mind for our first public outing together.
Nash doesn’t say a word as he gets in the car and drives away. I have so much I want to say to him, but I’m grateful for the silence because it’s a chance for me to collect my thoughts after what happened back there.
I have been getting triggered far too much in the past few months that I fear I may be regressing in the progress I made. Well, progress I thought I had made over the years.
It’s been a lot to handle, to say the least.
The memories of what happened to me are fucking awful and I wish I could erase them from my mind forever, but that would be wishful thinking.
They will haunt me for the rest of my days.
I want to forget about what happened to me and the lasting effects it has had on my life, but it’s now part of who I am and I hate it. I hate him for what he did to me, but I hate even more that he still haunts me to this goddamn day.
I’m so lost in my thoughts I don’t register the car rolling to a stop in Nash’s driveway. Nash silently exits the car and walks around to help me out.
I’m unable to speak the entire walk up the pathway to the front door. My hands are shaking slightly as I wrap my arms around my waist. I want to say it’s because of the cool breeze in the air, but that would mean lying to myself.
Nash wraps an arm around my waist and guides me into the warmth of his house. I had been expecting him to drive me to my house, but I’m glad he didn’t. I don’t want to be there right now with the chance my parents might have spent the night waiting for me to return.
The last thing I want to do is see them after the events of the night.
My gaze sweeps across the foyer, noticing the rest of the house is cast in darkness. Now we’re away from the loudness of Limelight , I feel slightly more relaxed. But now I have a multitude of questions racing through my brain.
“Thank you for saving me back at the bar,” I say softly.
Nash shoves his hands into the pockets of the black jacket clinging to his torso. “That guy is lucky I didn’t beat his ass into next week for fucking touching you like that.”
“But you didn’t,” I point out, my words gentle, “and that’s the main thing. You didn’t act on your urge to hurt him and I’m proud of you for that.”
Nash’s mismatched eyes snap up to meet mine. The intensity behind them is unmissable and the tick in his jaw as he regards me intently makes me wonder what the hell is going through his mind right now.
I never know what this man is thinking and I don’t anticipate uncovering the mystery that is Nash Beck any time soon.
Nash chuckles dryly and rocks back on his heels. “I’ve been a fucking mess because of you, little devil.”
My eyes widen in surprise. “Me? What did I do?”
“I just can’t get you out of my goddamn mind and it’s driving me insane.”
I fold my arms over my chest, gazing up at him. “Yeah, well you’re driving me insane too. Don’t even get me started on this goddamn scandal and the issues you caused with that, let alone being radio silent the past two weeks. I know we’ve been busy, but a phone call from you would’ve been nice.”
Nash clenches his jaw as the fire I witnessed in his irises earlier tonight roars to life. He takes a menacing step forward, the same way he did with Creepy Man. But I refuse to back down. I don’t know why he suddenly has an attitude after he saved me at Limelight and drove me home. I didn’t ask for his help—although I do appreciate it—so I don’t know what his problem is.
“What I was doing is none of your business.” His voice is so low I almost don’t hear him.
“Oh, but it is my business. Did you forget we’re fake dating?”
“How could I possibly forget, little devil,” he retorts. His chest moves rapidly with each breath he takes, and I’m sure my breathing mirrors his.“Not when your face is all I see when I close my eyes at night.”
I don’t know what it is about Nash that makes me want to slap him across the face while simultaneously rip his shirt off his body.
I take a step forward until our chests are almost touching and feel the heat radiating from his body. Narrowing my eyes, I jab my finger into his chest. “Yeah, well, you’re an asshole, remember? You drive me up the fucking wall, and it seems the feeling is mutual.”
Nash blinks at me, his eyes roaming my face. His chest is heaving as he stares down at me. I just know his hands are clenched in the pockets of his jacket in an attempt to control his anger. It’s a habit of his.
Before I can open my mouth to hurl more words at him, his hand wraps around my throat, not too tight, and Nash uses his large mass to back me up against the wall beside the front door. A sharp gasp leaves my mouth in response to the sudden movement, but the sound quickly dies on my tongue when intense blue and green eyes find mine, pinning me in place against the wall.
“Is the feeling also mutual that you want to kiss me as badly as I want to kiss you, huh, little devil?” His free hand travels up my thigh to rest firmly on my waist. I suppress a strangled cry of pleasure when he presses his body against mine, his hard cock digging into my thigh, revealing his true feelings. “Is the feeling also mutual that you want me just as much as I fucking want you?”
“Ye-yes,” I manage to say around the pressure he has on my throat. “I do.”
I hate that I cannot seem to stay away from this man because he’s bad news. Nash is a man with a history of sleeping with any woman he fancies and then dumping them like trash the next day, their names forgotten in the wind. That fact alone should deter me enough to keep my distance and protect my heart. But it doesn’t. Whenever we’re alone like this, I’m putty in his hands and it’s infuriating but also so goddamn thrilling.
The fire in Nash’s eyes grows with my words, and I can’t help but swallow while gazing at the intensity of them. Fire licks at my core—a clear indicator the feeling is indeed mutual.
Despite their recent activity, the demons are silent. Not a single whisper echoes in the back of my mind and it’s because of Nash.
I’ve come to learn that only he can silence them.
“Kiss me.” I’m all but panting as I beg him for this simple task. Instead of putting out the fire burning between us, I want him to add fuel to it so that it engulfs us in a ball of fire. “Please, Nash.”
A warm blanket of security wraps around my shoulders, a reminder that whenever I’m with Nash, I feel safe.
Nothing can hurt me.
No one can hurt me.
Especially not him .
Nash is the safety net I had been desperately hoping would appear ever since I began the freefall into the depths of my soul, avoiding the outstretched hands of the demons lurking. Their claws have scraped me on the way down, but it’s nothing I couldn’t handle.
But at this moment, they can’t hurt me. They can’t even fucking touch me. And it’s because of the man standing in front of me.
A slow grin splits his devastatingly handsome features in two. “You know I love it when you beg, little devil. But be careful about what you beg for.”
In one swift movement, Nash wraps his hands around the back of my thighs and hoists me off the ground. The moment my legs wrap firmly around his waist, our lips meet in a fury of passion and fire so intense my body shivers at the contact. My lips part to allow Nash to slip his tongue into my mouth. A deep growl explodes from the depths of his chest at the contact.
Nash begins walking, but I don’t bother to check where because I’m too focused on running my hands over his chest, desperate to feel his skin against mine.
How this man is navigating the house in semi-darkness with his lips attached to mine is a skill that needs to be studied.
Moments later, Nash lowers me to the ground, our lips parting. The loss of contact allows me to take in our surroundings, only to see we’re in the living room standing in front of the couch. Nash’s hands find the button on my shorts, popping it open with ease.
I lay my hands over his to stop his movements. When our eyes clash in the darkness of the room, save for the light shining in from the foyer, they are filled with an emotion I can’t read.
I swallow hard at the sight of them. “We can’t do this here.”
“Johnny isn’t here.” The lust coated in his words sends a shiver down my spine and ignites my core with the same fire burning in his eyes. “And even if he were, I would pluck his eyes out before he ever got the chance to see you like this.”
Oh, my God.
Nash continues to work my shorts down my thighs while I shrug the jacket off his shoulders. One by one, articles of clothing find their way onto the ground around our feet until we’re both naked, staring into each other’s eyes.
I don’t know if it’s the alcohol coursing through my veins or the silence in my mind, but I suddenly feel bold enough to shove Nash by the shoulders. He lands on the couch gracefully, my push not as strong as I thought it was, and grins at me. He slowly licks his lips as he gazes up at me, his cock hard against his stomach.The barbells through the head of it glint under the little lighting in the room.
“What are you doing, little devil?”
My eyes roam over the hard muscles in his chest and abdomen before tracing over each one of his many tattoos, committing each design to memory. I can’t seem to tear my gaze away from the beauty that is Nash Beck. He’s so devastatingly handsome that sometimes I struggle to wrap my mind around the fact he’s real.
I feel his eyes on me as I lower to my knees, the shag carpet soft against my skin. My hands slide up his long thighs, his skin feverish under my touch. Nash inhales sharply as he waits with bated breath for my next move.
My core aches for Nash—the need for him to touch me so strong I fear I may come with one touch. The wetness between my thighs is a strong indicator of how badly I want this man. Need him.
I fist the base of Nash’s cock and he hisses at the touch. Guiding the throbbing head to my mouth, I wrap my lips around him and take him down my throat as far as I can. The the head of the barbells glide along the inside of my mouth, adding another layer of intensity to the already tight ball in my core. His skin is hot and smooth against my tongue as I suck and tease him, earning deep groans that are so loud they echo around the house.
Nash wraps his hand around my hair and guides me further down his cock until I take every last inch of him down my throat. “ Fuck , Kin. That’s it.”
I continue the same rhythm with the help of Nash’s guidance, holding onto his thick thighs for support. His hips jut up to meet my rhythm, fucking my mouth mercilessly. Saliva pools at the side of my lips with each thrust. I have to resist touching myself because my pussy is throbbing with the need to be touched, to relieve the pressure building.
Just when I think I might pass out from the lack of oxygen in my lungs, Nash pulls my head back, his cock slipping free from my mouth. With saliva coating my chin, I gasp for air and meet Nash’s gaze. His mismatched eyes are fucking wild as he gazes down at me.
He swallows thickly and releases his grip on my hair. “You’re something else, little devil. Get up here. I want to feel your pussy wrapped around me now.”
He doesn’t need to tell me twice.
I stand from my kneeled position and straddle his lap. His cock rests hotly against my ass as my hands find Nash’s broad shoulders for support. The feel of his hands roaming over my ass only fuels the fire burning within me, my heart pounding with anticipation.
Nash bites his bottom lip and rubs his cock against my ass, the silver piercings hot against my skin. I moan at the feel of him against me—intimidating and large.
A wicked grin spreads across his lips as he gazes at me through hooded eyes. “You’re so beautiful, Kin.”
My heart seizes in my throat and all I can do is stare at him, wondering if I just heard him correctly. But he doesn’t give me a chance to respond before he lifts me by the waist and lowers me onto his cock, filling me so much I cry out at the intrusion.
Holding onto Nash’s shoulders, I throw my head back and moan. When I bottom out, my thighs meeting Nash’s, I can hardly breathe with him inside me. I had forgotten just how intense his size is. But I’m not complaining in the slightest. It’s a good kind of full. The kind that makes your head spin and your body vibrate with the need for more.
“Fuck, Kin,” Nash groans. His grip on my waist is tight, almost as if he’s worried I’m going to disappear. “You’re so fucking tight.”
I can’t respond because it feels like my head is going to explode, so I simply moan and lift myself ever so slightly. Nash helps to guide me up and down his cock, starting slow to allow me to get used to him.
My breathing is ragged and my mind is foggy as we settle into a steady rhythm. I focus on Nash’s shallow breathing and the heat radiating between us because if I think about how good he feels inside of me, it might be my undoing.
“That’s it,” Nash praises softly, our rhythm quickening with each thrust. “I want you to ride my cock like you own it, because you do .”
With his encouragement, I rock my hips back and forth at a pace that has him throwing his head back and groaning deeply, his fingers digging into my hips painfully.
It’s a sight I commit to memory. I have never seen something so haunting yet stunning at the same time.
“Nash,” I moan, my tits bouncing wildly. My hand travels down the front of his chest, roaming over the sharp lines of his abs, feeling as they constrict with each thrust. “I-I’m so close.”
Nash’s hand slides up my stomach and between the valley of my breasts to rest around my throat, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. The pressure of his grip on my throat sends a bolt of pleasure straight to my core, making me cry out.
“Keep going, little devil. I want you to come all over my cock.”
Seconds later, his mouth finds my nipples, sucking and teasing. Each flick of his tongue sends me barrelling closer to the edge of the cliff. I try to hold on for dear life, not wanting this moment to end, but between his cock hitting deep inside of me and his tongue teasing my nipples, nibbling and sucking, I’m helpless.
As I fall over the edge, stars dance across my vision and my body explodes with a pressure that sends me dizzy. I cry out Nash’s name so loud I fear the neighbors might hear. But I don’t care. Not when my body feels as though I’m floating on cloud nine.
Nash curses as he grows closer to his release, now guiding my hips because my limbs feel like jello. His hand tightens around my throat, not enough to constrict airflow but enough to add to the dizziness fogging my mind, and his hips meet mine roughly.
He shouts out my name, pressing his face into my neck as he fills me with his release.
I’m breathless as we hold each other and silence settles over us. The intensity of what just happened clings to my body as I try to slow my breathing, but the effort seems fruitless. My limbs ache and my skin feels like it’s on fire, but despite this, I can’t help but smile as I rest my cheek against the top of Nash’s head.
“That was fucking insane,” Nash says against the base of my neck, his breath fanning across my skin. He lifts his head to gaze at me, his eyes soft with a small fire smoldering in the depths of them. “Please stay the night with me.”
I blink at him, his words echoing in my head. Now my heart is beating erratically for a different reason. “Oh, Nash, I don’t know…”
“Please, Kin.”
The plea in his voice melts something inside of me, softening my resolve. I thought he would take me home after what we just did, so the fact he wants me to stay the night with him is unexpected. His eyes are wide as they hold my gaze, waiting for my response.
“Why?” is all I manage to whisper.
Nash swallows slowly and tugs his lip ring between his teeth. “Every fiber of my being is telling me to push you away because it hurts too much to let someone in, to allow them to see the real me for fear they won’t like what they see. But I can’t fucking stay away from you, Kin. I find myself thinking about you when I shouldn’t and can’t get you out of my goddamn head.” He exhales sharply and casts his eyes to where my hand presses against his chest. “Just… please spend the night. I’m too selfish to let you go just yet.”
I know what he means.
Whenever I’m with Nash, I find myself being drawn to him like a moth to a flame, unable to pull myself away no matter how many times I tell myself I shouldn’t want this. I shouldn’t want him . But I do and I can’t explain it.
If I think too deeply about what I feel for Nash, it could change everything and I don’t know if I’m ready for that to happen yet.
My body is screaming at me to stop fighting whatever wall I’m trying to put up between us and allow myself this one moment of happiness. It seems we both need this. We both need each other.
Who am I to deprive ourselves of that?
I run my fingertips across his cheek slowly and nod. “Okay, I’ll stay the night.”
The intensity from earlier returns to Nash’s eyes as a grin lights up his face. His large hands snake down to my thighs, his cock thickening inside of me once more as he palms the skin gently. “Just so you know, little devil, I have never willingly asked a woman to spend the night in my bed. Not once. I want you to be the first and the last.”
I barely have a chance to respond before Nash lifts me by my waist and slams me down on his hard cock, forcing a cry from my throat. He greedily swallows the sound by pressing his lips against mine.
As I’m swept up in a wave of pleasure, his words play on my mind like a record on repeat.
I want you to be the first and last .
Somewhere deep in the depths of my soul, I’m starting to believe I want that too.