Chapter 22
ELLE
When Nico returns to the apartment, it’s almost as if none of it ever happened.
There’s no trace of either my mother’s gunman or my father, no blood on the floor, no regret.
There is only Nico and me, and whatever we decide to do from here.
I don’t even ask him where he dumped the body or where he sent my father.
I don’t care to know about any of it. In fact, for the first time in my life, I actually want to forget about everything that’s happened, everything except Nico and me.
I stand at the window looking out at the city as he comes to stand beside me. I feel much better after my shower, cleaner, clearheaded, ready for a fresh start.
“I’ve never known any place other than Las Vegas,” I tell him. “I mean, I’ve traveled outside the state and the country before. But I’ve never lived anywhere other than Vegas. In that way, I envy you. You’ve lived in an entirely different country.”
Nico chuckles, but it’s more out of a bitter memory of his past than amusement.
“Trust me,” he says. “There’s nothing to envy about life in Moscow or life within the Bratva.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that it would be nice to start over somewhere, like you did when you left the Brava and came to Las Vegas.”
“Funny,” he says as he wraps his arm behind my back. “I was actually just thinking the same thing.”
“About Russia?”
“No, about starting over. You don’t need to leave the country to start over somewhere. It can be as easy as simply deciding to put the past behind you or something as complicated as stepping into a new identity.”
“Like you did when you became the Ghost,” I say.
“Yes. But I’m not so sure that being the Ghost suits me anymore.”
I look at him, surprised to hear him say such a thing. I know that he’s changed throughout these recent events, but the Ghost is such an integral part of who he is, who he’s become, and how he holds onto and honors his brother‘s memory.
“Are you saying that you don’t want to be the Ghost anymore?” I ask.
“Perhaps. I haven’t quite decided yet,” he says. “But I think I might just want to go back to being the man I was going to be before my brother died.”
“Does that mean you’re ready to put the past behind you?”
“Yes, I think it does,” Nico nods. “But more than that, I’d like to move toward a different and new future, with you.”
I feel as if my heart is about to burst through my chest. “I’d like that. And I would like to get to know more about the man you were before you became the Ghost.”
“I wasn’t a man at all,” he says, sounding almost sad, as if he’s mourning the boy he once was and the potential he once had.
“I was only a child, just like you were that night in the alley.
And I kind of feel like I owe it to my younger self now to figure out who I might have been had I not taken up my brother‘s mantle.”
“I already know who you are,” I say as I pull him closer toward me.
“You are Nico Vitale, the man who saved my life and then stuck around to save it again. You are my hero, my savior, the man whose actions have given me the ability to move on from my trauma. And if you’ll have me, I’d like to join you on whatever journey you go on next. ”
“I’d like that,” he smiles, holding me close. “But now the question is, are you ready to move on from your past, to start over and embrace something new?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation. “I find myself more eager to put my past behind me now than ever.
I've spent all of these years building a career as a criminal profiler, becoming exceptional at what I do, and building a reputation in this city as one of the best. But none of that really matters to me anymore. What I would most like to do is just finally be happy.”
“If you’ll let me,” Nico says. “I would like to see if I can make that happen.”
We share a kiss in front of the window, against the setting sun. And when it’s over, the questions that fill my head are now of possibility and promise.
“But where would we even go?” I ask. “How could we even really start over here? Everyone knows that I’m the daughter of a crooked cop, and you are the Ghost.”
Nico laughs. “Actually, most people don’t know who the Ghost is.”
“You know what I mean,” I grin up at him. “The powerful mafia dons know who you are. I don’t know how we could possibly think about starting over when our pasts still haunt us and hang over us like a dark cloud. It’s hard to reinvent yourself in a city that already knows who you are.”
“Then let’s leave the city,” he suggests, to my surprise.
“Let’s abandon the shadows and chase after a hopeful new beginning together in the Mojave Desert.
There’s no one in the desert to know who we are and nothing to stick us to our past. We can take time to discover who we want to be together, and then in time we can decide where we want to go from there. ”
“You would do that for me? Leave your life and your mafia connections behind in order to go live in the desert with me on a whim.”
“It’s not a whim, Elle,” he says. “You and I have known each other for years. We’ve been chasing each other for years.
Tethered together. I wouldn’t be leaving anything behind other than a shadow that never truly belonged to me to begin with.
I don’t see it as giving something up. I see it as choosing love and connection and choosing to be with the woman I love. ”
My eyes widen, and my heart skips a beat when I hear him say those words.
“You love me?” I ask. “Are you sure?”
Nico smiles and smooths his fingers down the side of my cheek. “I've never been so sure of anything in my life. I love you, Elle Monroe. You have my heart and what’s left of my soul. I want to be with you, protect you, and even argue with you from time to time, for the rest of my life.”
I giggle at that last part and feel as if all of those dreams I’ve had since that night in the alley weren’t the warning I once thought them to be, but were glimpses of the future that I might one day have with Nico.
“So, what do you say?” he asks.
“I say that I love you too, and I think the Mojave Desert sounds like a great idea.”
Before either of us can start talking about any actual plans, my phone rings.
I don’t look to see who’s calling because I’m not expecting anyone, and at this moment I couldn’t care less who it is.
The only person who I really care about now is standing right here with me.
But Nico catches a glimpse of the caller ID lighting up and reaches for my phone.
“Here,” he says. “I think you should take this call.”
He smiles, and I look down at the phone to see that it’s Valentina calling. That seems straight out of nowhere. I’m almost too surprised to pick up. But after it rings a couple more times, I quickly hit the answer button before the call is lost.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Elle,” Valentina‘s voice sounds the same as it did the last time I talked to her, and the feelings that wash over me make it seem as though we haven’t lost a day of friendship between us.
Nico turns and walks out of the living room and down the hall, giving me time to talk with my friend in privacy.
“I hope you don’t mind me calling,” Valentina says.
“No, of course not! I’m just surprised. I didn’t think that you wanted to talk to me ever again. I was at your wedding, and I got the feeling that you didn’t really want me to be there.”
“I’m sorry,” she says. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want you there, I’m glad you were there. It’s just that I didn’t want to feel all the things I was feeling when I saw you.”
“What kinds of things were those?” I ask.
Silence hangs on the line for a few seconds before she answers.
“Mostly regret, sadness, the desire to go back and do things differently. Look, Elle, I really didn’t want things to go the way they did, and I didn’t want our friendship to end. It’s just that when—"
“It’s okay,” I interrupt. “I understand. Sometimes we think we need things to be a certain way, only to find out that what we really want is the complete opposite.”
“Does this have anything to do with the Ghost?” Valentina’s tone turns immediately playful, and it brings me right back to our days in the private academy when we used to sit in the dark and share our deepest secrets.
“I’ve heard through the grapevine that you and he might be involved romantically. Is it true?”
“Well, before I tell you all of my intimate inner workings, does this mean that we’re friends again?” I tease.
“Yes,” Valentina says. I can hear her smile through the phone. “If you’ll have me, that is.”
With that, the two of us start talking as if no time has been lost at all between us, and all the hard feelings are now water under the bridge.
“Oh, and there’s one more thing,” I say after I tell her about everything that’s happened recently. “I think you might need to get by without the Ghost for a while now.”
“Really?” she asks. “How come?”
“Because for now, I think he’s going to focus on just being Nico.”
Valentina and I fall back into conversation, catching up on everything that we have missed in each other’s lives over recent years.
In the background, I can hear Nico moving around the apartment, taking a shower, pouring himself a drink, and giving me time to talk with my long-lost friend.
Valentina and I have reconciled, and now we can both heal from our emotional scars and lean on each other’s shoulders just like we did before. I’m not sure what prompted her to call me tonight, but whatever it was, I’m grateful for it.
After all that I’ve lost—my mother, years of my life chasing after ghosts, maybe even my sanity—tonight, I have Nico, my friendship with Valentina back, closure to a plight that has plagued me, and hope for moving on toward a better future.
I think that is all I’ve ever wanted—love, friendship, peace of mind, and hope.