Chapter 18
Igrab a bottle of red wine and add it to my shopping cart. It’s the last thing I have on my list, and I think I got enough food to last the guys a few days. Well, nights, technically. Having been single my entire adult life, I’ve never bought this much food at once. It’s weird.
After taking two steps forward, I come to a sudden halt and backtrack. Two more bottles of wine go into the cart. I look at my phone—I’m making good time—and head to the checkout lane. I get in line and a familiar voice calls out my name.
“Hey, Ace!” Tiffany pushes her cart up behind me.
“Tiffany, hey.” I turn around, eyes going to the car seat snapped into the front of the cart. “And Mavis. I can’t believe how much bigger she is since the last time I saw her.” I smile at the sleeping baby.
“I know. She’s growing so fast. Everyone told me how fast it would go by, and it turns out they were right.” She laughs.
“Go ahead of me,” I tell her before I move up in line . “I have twice as much.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I have a lot and you don’t.”
She peeks into my cart. “You do have a lot. Stocking up?”
“Uh,” I start, glancing down into my cart.
Is it even possible to keep all this stuff for that long?
I don’t know. My cooking skills are close to nothing.
And I hate lying to Tiffany. I’ve lied so much the last few days, and I know the more I lie, the more likely I am to get caught.
And what happens if she sees me here again next week? “Actually, no. My cousins are in town.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widen and she leans back. “I didn’t know you had any cousins in the area.”
“I didn’t either.” I pull my cart back to let her through. “I just found out about them, and they’re not from around here.”
She starts putting her groceries on the conveyer belt. “Oh my God, was it because of the house?”
“The house?” The blood might have drained from my face just a little.
“Are they trying to take it from you?”
“Oh, right. And, uh, no. They heard about my aunt—our aunt—passing and we got in touch. Now we’re just catching up.”
Mavy lets out a cry, taking Tiffany’s attention off me. She puts the rest of her groceries up and moves down toward the register. “That’s great. Are they staying long?”
“A while.”
“I love my cousins. More than my sisters at times, but don’t tell my sisters that.” She pulls her wallet from her purse. “Hopefully you guys get along and stay in touch.”
“I have a feeling we will.” I unload my groceries.
Tiffany takes her bag and pushes her cart forward. “Thanks again for letting me go ahead. Mavy’s at her limit. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye, Tiff.”
I pay the biggest grocery bill I’ve ever had in my life and make it to the estate with an hour to spare. The closer we get to summer, the later the sun sets. It’s usually something I enjoy, but right now I find myself missing the short days and longer nights, for obvious reasons.
I put the groceries away and go upstairs, unpacking the rest of my stuff that I brought over, which is basically everything I could fit inside my bags.
I take a few minutes to straighten up, then head back to the kitchen to start dinner.
My alarm goes off on my phone at sunset.
I left the front door slightly ajar so the guys will know to just come in.
And they do.
“Ace?” Jacques calls.
“In the kitchen,” I call back over my shoulder. I turn down the burner on the stove. Jacques comes in, and the moment our eyes meet, my heart flutters. That weird connection is back, and it takes everything inside me to resist running to him and flinging myself into his arms.
His shoulders tense and his eyes narrow. He’s fighting the same battle.
“What are you doing?”
“Making dinner. Or breakfast for you guys.”
“It smells good.” A beat passes between us before he moves closer. “How are you today? Does your head still hurt?”
“A little.” I subconsciously reach up to the scab. “I’m mostly tired.”
“You should stay in tonight,” he says, instantly annoying me. Only because he’s right.
“I can make my own decisions, thank you very much.” I don’t mean to snap, but there’s something about him that gets under my skin. My insane attraction to him? I know he feels it, too. Why is it so easy for him to brush off?
“I don’t doubt you’re able to.” His face softens. “I heard you last night.”
I pick up a wooden spoon and stir the spaghetti sauce. If I had neighbors, they would have heard me, too. “Oh. Yeah…I…uh…”
“You’re free to do as you wish, Ace,” he says, almost bitterly.
His eyes flash and he looks me up and down for a brief moment before looking away.
Is that jealousy I’m sensing? “Though you should probably focus more on resting and taking care of yourself before you run off and have fun.” His eyes drill into mine again, so intense I lean away.
Yes, that most definitely is jealousy. Is it terrible I like it?
He’d only be jealous if he had feelings for me, just like the feelings I have for him.
I shift my weight, uncomfortable. The others are fine with our arrangement…
but what about Jacques? Because right now he’s looking at me as if he wants to own me.
“Right, I, uh…” I’m floundering, feeling heat rush to my cheeks. “I, uh…I don’t like being lonely,” I blurt. God, how stupid did that sound?
Jacques’s face softens. “I don’t either,” he says quietly, and takes a tentative step toward me. My heart is in my throat, and I’m back to fighting the urge to fling my arms around him, to feel my heart beat against his and find out what his lips feel like against mine for real.
“I don’t think it’s stupid to question if you’re doing the right or wrong thing,” he says, taking the conversation in a totally different direction.
I whirl back around to look at him. “I know you want to do the right thing. You and I…we’re alike in that aspect.
And sometimes the right thing doesn’t seem like the best thing to do. Sometimes the right thing feels wrong.”
“That’s exactly how I feel right now.” I swallow hard, eyes trailing down Jacques’s muscular torso. “It’s making me question everything. Before, I knew I was doing the right thing. It might take a while to get results, but I knew I was making the world a better place.”
“And now?”
“Now I’m not sure. I mean, yeah, I get it. I’m trying to get rid of the vampires. But it doesn’t feel like enough. I’m not giving my full attention to my job, and I feel really shitty about it.” I haven’t fully confessed it to myself yet. “I don’t know.” I shake my head and turn back to the sauce.
Jacques moves with such grace for someone his size. The energy around him is overwhelming, but not in a bad way. It surrounds me, fills me, makes me have to fight even harder to keep myself from turning and throwing my arms around his neck.
“Isn’t that what life is about?” His voice is low. “Doing the right thing…making the world a bit more livable, if not for yourself, then for others. I gave up my life in order to serve others and I still questioned if I did the right thing joining the Templars.”
“I thought you believed in their mission?”
“I did, but I was naive when I joined and thought everyone else did, too.”
“Oh, right. They kind of turned into money-grubbers, right?”
“Yes. I actually understand that saying.” His serious face lights up for a second.
“Thanks, I needed to hear that.” I reach for his hand. My fingers graze his skin and he flips his hand over, lacing his fingers through mine. My heart skips a beat and suddenly the dream comes to life, playing out before me in a flash and it’s like I remember everything.
The way his lips taste. The smooth feel of his hard cock in my hand. His gruff voice whispering something in my ear in a language I don’t know. But most of all, the painful longing in my heart.
Jacques yanks his hand back. This time I know for certain he saw it too. Stepping away, he looks at the ground, chest rapidly rising and falling as he sucks in air.
“I’ll tell the others you’re making dinner.”
“Wait.”
He turns, wings swooping past me and creating a draft strong enough to nearly blow out the fire on the stove.
“Yes?”
I rush forward, stopping inches from him. Slowly, I run my eyes up and down his body, taking in every inch of muscle and every scar. He’s been through a lot, and I want to know everything about this cursed man.
He bends his head down, forehead resting against mine. I put my palms on his chest, taking solace in his heart beating beneath my fingertips. I drag my hands down to his hips and slide them back under his wings.
After a moment of hesitation, Jacques does the same to me, holding me tight against him.
I can’t explain it and I know it doesn’t make sense.
Nothing about this should feel familiar, yet it does.
Being in Jacques’s embrace is like coming home after a long vacation.
It’s warm and safe and familiar, and I don’t want to leave.
Because if I do, there’s no promise I’ll come back.
I tip my head up, brushing my lips against his. A hard rush of desire goes through me, making me wet at just the thought of Jacques being naked and on top of me. I bring my hips against his, needing to feel more of him. He hasn’t even touched me yet and I’m turned on.
Jacques cups my face in both his hands, leaning back just enough to study my features.
“You’re beautiful, Acelina.”
Beautiful. Not hot, or sexy. I part my lips, ready to say something back, when Jacques suddenly jerks away.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t, Ace.” He lowers his gaze, face pained. My heart is in my throat. I don’t handle rejection well, and I know it stems from my childhood of being passed around by family until my aunt finally took me in.
“Why?” My voice comes out in a harsh whisper, and I’m trying to remind myself that I don’t have a deep connection with Jacques. Not really. But what I feel is so real.
“Your soup is going to boil over.”
“It’s sauce, not soup.”
“Whatever it is, it’s bubbling up.”