Chapter 8 #2
“Yes. You aren’t what I expected, Alec, and I like it better when I know I’m not the only one struggling to figure things out.”
That wasn’t all he was struggling with. “My brothers would give me tons of shit if they ever heard about this.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s how brothers are,” he said.
“And... You’re the goody-goody in the Velasquez family, aren’t you?”
“I guess. I mean, I’m not a nerdy rule follower.
I just like to stay within safe limits,” he said, then groaned again as he realized exactly how that sounded.
“Okay, so I am a goody-goody. But I’ve been burned when I just let go of all my limits and I realized that I have to know which lines I can’t cross. ”
“Fair enough,” she said. “So, back to the game. Are you going to call?”
Call? No. He wanted more than her protein bar and chocolate. He wanted kisses, but real kisses. He wanted the stakes to be higher and he knew the risk. He could move too fast and push her away. But as Mo would say, you have to take a chance if you ever want the big prize.
And he wanted her...badly.
“I’m going to raise,” he said at last.
“You are?”
“Yes,” he said, pushing the requisite ante into the center of the table. “I call and raise you one kiss.”
“A kiss? I have two in there,” she said.
“No, I mean a real one. A bodies-pressed-together, mouths-fused, passion-filled kiss.”
“Oh,” she said, a slight flush spreading up her neck to her cheeks. “Very well, I call.”
He stretched his legs, and the fabric of his trousers brushed against her. She shifted so that her calves rested against his as he slowly laid his cards on the table. She glanced at the pair of tens with an ace high that he’d revealed and then back at her own hand.
She had two pairs so that beat him. She had always been a believer that she shouldn’t wager anything she didn’t want to lose, and frankly, she had been craving Alec since the moment they’d been alone in the barn at the polo match. Nothing had changed since then.
Of course, she’d retreated, but that was because he was different.
The type of guy she normally attracted would have pushed for a kiss or more until she either gave in or shoved him out of her life.
But Alec was subtle and funny. He was carefully feeling his way along trying to get to know her better and maybe let her see the real man.
She fanned her cards out on the table and then crossed her arms under her breasts as she leaned back in the large leather chair. “Read ’em and weep.”
He chewed his lower lip between his teeth and gave her a steely-eyed look. “I see I’m going to have to reevaluate you. I was sure you were bluffing.”
“I wasn’t,” she said.
“Obviously. But you played it so cool I couldn’t tell. Interesting. I think that means you must spend a lot of time hiding who you really are,” he said.
“Dude, I said you could have a kiss, not psychoanalyze me.”
He leaned across the table, reaching out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Sorry. It’s just that I haven’t wanted a woman the way I want you in a long time. I’m trying to give myself a bit of time to gain some control.”
Again she was struck by how he seemed to have no barriers when it came to her.
She wanted to believe in him but as he’d noted a minute ago, experience had taught her that what she really needed to do was to keep her true self hidden.
It was just better for her. There had been only one person she’d ever felt comfortable letting her guard down around and that had been Tara.
And she was still trying to recover from the pain of losing her the way that she had. She really didn’t want to go down that dark and emotional path so she leaned forward, elbows on the table, putting her hands on his wrists. “So about the kiss I’ve won in this hand.”
“What about it?” he asked.
“I’m trying to decide if I should take my prize and walk or keep it in the ante and see if I can win again.”
He took her left hand in his, his thumb stroking her palm and sending shivers of sensation up her arm, making her breasts feel heavy.
“Up to you,” he said. “You call the shots.”
As if. She realized that was cynical but she’d been in too many situations like this to believe that one person called all the shots. Sex was intimate and involved so much more than power in her experience.
“I see you don’t believe me,” he said. “I’m not playing around with you, Scarlet.
I know I lied to you the first night we met but you’re pregnant with my baby.
I want you more than I want my next breath and that makes me feel dangerous.
..out of control. I don’t want to be that way. Not when so much is at stake.”
Again he disarmed her with the truth. His earnestness made her want to believe him yet every experience in her life had shown her that when she most wanted to trust in another person, they let her down.
And he was right: the stakes here were high.
They both wanted to make sure they didn’t add another screwed-up being to the planet.
Both of them wanted better for the baby she was carrying.
And maybe that was enough.
Of course it is. Tara’s voice sounded in her head. Stop dithering and kiss the man. It’s what you want.
It was what she wanted so she pushed away from the table and went around to his side.
She put her hands on the arm of his chair and spun it so he faced her.
Then she sat down on his lap, sitting sideways so that her legs hung over the armrest and she could see his face.
One of his arms came around her waist and the other one just hovered in the air over her body, not touching her.
She lifted her hand to his face, touched the light stubble on his jaw and looked into his dark brown eyes, searching for something in his gaze but not really knowing what it was.
She sighed inside and realized there were no guarantees.
This could be nothing more than a nice way to spend the flight or it could be the most dangerous decision she ever made.
But she wasn’t someone who cowered. And Tara’s voice in her head had reminded her of that.
She rubbed her thumb over his full lower lip and his mouth parted, his breath coming out in a sudden gasp.
She felt him harden under her hips. She leaned in closer, taking her time because now that she’d made up her mind, there was no rush.
Regardless of the outcome, she wanted and intended to make this last.
Their eyes met and she felt something shift and settle deep inside her. At least they had this one thing that made sense between them. The rest of their lives were crazy right now, but this, she thought as she leaned in and brushed her lips over his, made perfect sense.