Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Scarlet had never had a man try to romance her like this, and it touched her.
She felt that warm sensation in her stomach that made her wonder if she loved him.
Love was the one thing she’d always tried to avoid.
She’d loved Tara, of course, but that was it.
Tara been the one person she’d been unable to keep herself from caring too much about.
Alec was different. There was no reason to love him. They weren’t related, and they didn’t have any bonds between them other than the child and the ones that they’d created over the last six weeks as they’d gotten to know each other.
She slowly followed the path of roses toward the back of his house and caught her breath when she looked out at his patio and garden. It had been transformed.
He made you an Eden, Tara’s voice whispered through her mind.
The Princess Diaries had been their favorite movie to watch and she knew immediately what her sister meant. He’d made this ordinary suburban backyard seem otherworldly. And she knew in her heart of hearts that she cared deeply for him. More deeply than she’d ever cared for anyone before.
She almost wished she didn’t. That she could enjoy the fantasy of this and go back to pretending that she was addicted to him because addiction was dangerous and unhealthy.
Looking at it that way, it would make sense to want to escape this.
But romance... Well, it would make her look silly if she turned and ran away.
If she let the panic rising up inside her have free rein.
“I had my chef prepare dinner for us,” he said, holding out a chair at the table for her.
Dinner. It was just dinner, she thought as she sat down. She could handle this.
He sat next to her and poured her some sparkling water over ice, adding some fresh strawberries the way she liked it. He was the kind of person who noticed details. She liked that about him.
“Your mom stopped by to see me,” she said when they were eating.
She’d been unsure of how to bring it up to Alec.
He hadn’t mentioned a future together and she’d been trying to keep the baby and them separate.
And once she’d met his mom, it had been even harder to think of not being a part of her baby’s life.
“I meant to text you earlier but she knows about the baby.”
“Oh, well, I was going to tell my parents soon but wanted to figure out what we were doing first,” he said. “I know they’re going to have a lot of questions that you and I haven’t really been ready to answer.”
She nodded. “Yeah. She said she knew I didn’t have a mom and wanted to get to know me.”
“You can tell her no,” Alec said. “She’s a bit—”
“Pushy,” Scarlet said. “She told me. But honestly she was so sweet I liked it.”
“Good. My parents, as you’ve seen, are the type to get involved in everything.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of funny but I noticed they sort of parent all of your friends, too,” Scarlet said.
Her father was more the hit-on-her-friends type, which was kind of what she thought the norm was until she’d come to Cole’s Hill.
Of course, she’d seen families like the Velasquezes on TV and in the movies but they’d never seemed real to her.
“They do. Mainly I think it’s because we all grew up around here and they’ve known all of my friends since they were little kids,” Alec said.
“I like it,” she said. “I think Tara would have liked it, too.”
“I wish I’d met her,” Alec said. “She was very important to you, wasn’t she?”
“Yes.”
“What was the craziest thing you two did growing up?” he asked. “Mo and I were always in trouble so our kid is going to get the mischief gene.”
Our kid.
Like they were a couple.
Panic started to rise in her, laced with a bit of hope that she didn’t even acknowledge.
Tell him about me, Tara’s voice whispered.
“She was always good at surprising me with something fun. We went to different boarding schools and the year after our mom died, I was pretty miserable. One night I was lying in my bed at the dorm when I heard this scratching at the window.
“I opened it up and glanced down to see Tara standing down below. She had this large branch in her hands and had been scraping it across the glass.”
Scarlet took a sip of her drink.
“She waved at me to come out and I sneaked down to meet her. She took my hand and we ran as fast as we could to a taxi she had waiting and she ordered him to take us to the beach. It was the middle of the winter, freezing cold, because my school was in Massachusetts. But when we got to the beach, we went and stood on the sand and waited. And I asked her what we were waiting for and she said we’d see Mom’s angel at sunrise. ”
“That sounds wonderful,” Alec said. “I wish my brother were so thoughtful. Instead, Mo smacked me on the head with a pillow until I woke up one time so I could hand him his stuffed dog, Scratchers, who’d fallen out of the top bunk.”
“Poor baby. Mo is such a bully,” Scarlet said, jokingly.
“Yeah, he was. But Tara sounds like she took care of you,” Alec said.
“Sometimes. She had her own problems, too. One time she deliberately crashed her sunfish sailboat into mine to keep me from winning a Fourth of July regatta at our yacht club.”
“That I can relate to. Inigo was always superfast on bikes or go-carts or even golf carts so we’d sometimes crash into him to keep him from winning... But it hasn’t hurt him. It probably made him even better at racing,” Alec said.
“I’m sure.”
“Have you ever thought about having more kids?” he asked. “Or do you think this one will be it?”
He had a right to ask her that question, she thought, but at the same time she didn’t want to answer. She wasn’t even sure what she was going to do about the baby she carried right now. “I haven’t. I’m not at all ready to think about that.”
“Fair enough. I’m not, either. I just didn’t know if you dreamed of a big family,” he said, clearing away the dinner dishes.
“I didn’t dream of a family at all. I figured I’d be doing my thing by myself forever,” she said.
“Ready for dessert?” he asked because he wasn’t sure how to react to her answer.
“I’m good for now,” she said.
“Okay.”
He sat back down and they both sort of stared at each other. She wished she could read his mind. Know what he was thinking. This dinner he’d asked her to dress up for was more than just their usual get-together. And he was coming to mean more to her than she wanted to really admit.
“You really outdid yourself tonight,” she said.
“I know it’s over the top but you’re the first woman I’ve ever wanted to do this stuff for,” he said. “You mean a lot to me, Scarlet.”
She nodded. What was she going to say? She had to think and fast because she was starting to want to stay. Here in Cole’s Hill. Here with Alejandro Velasquez. Here with this family she’d always secretly craved.
He might not know it but he was offering her everything she’d always believed she’d never find.
And it was harder than she thought to keep her cool.
She swallowed hard, feeling the tears burning in her eyes as he opened the French doors to the patio and she heard the sound of jazz music playing.
She’d told him she loved jazz and he’d remembered.
He’s good for you, Tara’s voice whispered again. Don’t mess this up.
Don’t mess it up.
That was exactly what she was so afraid of doing.
“Thank you,” she said as she stepped onto the patio. She saw that he had new carpet in the seating area, a thick Berber rug that looked really soft. She toed off her shoes and stepped onto it.
The smell of roses and jasmine mingled in the air.
She turned to check on Alec and noticed he was watching her.
She held her hand out to him as “’S Wonderful” started playing and he came to join her, drawing her into his arms, singing under his breath as he danced them around in a circle.
His hands against her back were warm and strong, his touch turning her on the way it always did.
His slightest touch was all it took to inflame her senses and make her forget everything but his dark chocolate eyes and his rock-hard body.
He dipped her as the song ended and she clung to him, confident he wouldn’t drop her because Alec was strong.
He was always there for her. And as much as she didn’t want to depend on him, she realized she already did.
Whether she wanted to admit it to herself or not, she already felt deep affection for him.
Affection? Tara’s voice jeered. Why can’t you admit you love him?
She pulled herself from Alec’s embrace and turned away from him—and from the voice in her head. No way was she going to admit it, but the truth was there echoing in each beat of her racing heart.
She wasn’t lovable.
She never had been.
Her mom had left her.
Her sister had disappeared first into addiction and then died.
Her father couldn’t even be bothered to speak to her unless he needed her signature on a document.
How was she going to believe that she could love Alec and be loved in return?
“Scarlet, baby? Are you okay?” he asked.
The concern in his voice made her feel dumb.
She wasn’t reacting the right way. She never knew how to behave in this situation.
Give her a bunch of paparazzi standing outside her front door trying to catch her in an embarrassing situation and she could handle it.
But a guy who’d planned a romantic evening—no dice.
“I’m not,” she said, shaking her head. “I just realized that I’ve been pretending all this time that you and I could be a real couple.”
“What? What do you mean? I wanted to make this night special... I’m not like this normally.”
She shook her head. “I know. That makes it even worse. I want to be the kind of woman you deserve, Alec. Someone who can see all this and feel safe enjoying it, but I’m not.
Nothing in my life prepared me for this.
I’m chaos and ruin. I’m running from one hot mess to the next and I don’t think I can change. ”