11. Brandon
brANDON
Karolina is my miracle. She said my name. My real name.
No one has called me Brandon in years.
I’ve been Ragnarok, a monster in the shadows.
I’ve been her masked man, Bones.
For her, I became Rand.
As she said, I might’ve won her heart in time with my new identity as her professor. But nothing could compare to hearing my name in her melodic voice.
I’ve been a coward not to tell her who I really am. A fool to deceive her.
I’m still not willing to reveal the extent of my violent past. Even when we were teenagers, I was too scared to confess the taint in my blood that makes me a cold, unfeeling killer.
She’s purity and light.
And I’ve reached for her with blood-soaked hands.
I’m a bastard for letting her suffer with guilt over my “death”. I can’t regret what I’ve done to have her, but I do regret that. I never want to cause her pain, but she’s been haunted by nightmares of what she did to me all this time.
An accident, I remind myself.
She didn’t do anything to me. The damage to my face was ultimately Carter’s fault. And my own for trying to shove the shotgun away rather than explaining myself.
Still, I can’t deny that part of me has feared that she meant to do it all along.
Her obvious regret over the damage she caused has soothed a wound inside me that I’ve been denying ever since that dark night in the burning stables.
She squeezes my hand as we enter the house, my sweet girl reassuring me despite the pain I’ve caused her with my lies.
“Where’s the first aid kit?” she asks, eyes tight with concern.
“In the bathroom upstairs. Why don’t you go to the kitchen while I clean up? You should eat something.”
“I’m not hungry. I don’t want to lose sight of you again.”
Her admission warms my chest. Instinct tells me to admonish her for neglecting her needs, but I’d so much rather feed her from my own hand while she sits in my lap.
My dick pulses at the thought, and her gaze strays lower.
I’m still naked; I didn’t bother to get dressed before racing after her.
I couldn’t risk her running straight into danger if she left the estate.
We’ll have to address her feelings about the tracker at some point, but she seems distracted by my stiffening cock at the moment.
I’d much rather keep her focus on that.
“If you keep looking at me like that, I’ll have to push you against the wall and fuck you senseless,” I warn.
She shakes her head. “First aid kit. Now.”
I chuckle. That’s my sassy Karolina.
The fact that she cares more about my wellbeing than immediate carnal satisfaction calms the lingering turmoil inside me.
As Bones, she never felt the depth of our connection, despite our filthy conversations.
In person, our bond is so potent that it almost causes me physical pain to prevent myself from burying my shaft inside her wet heat.
And now, she’s no longer afraid of my devotion to her. She understands.
She wants me too. I can wait our whole lives to earn her trust again, to hear her say she loves me. As long as I have her by my side, I can endure anything.
I lift her in my arms and carry her up the stairs. She laughs, but she slaps my chest lightly in rebuke.
“You have a head injury, remember?” she prompts. “You shouldn’t be carrying me.”
My arms tighten around her. “I won’t drop you.”
She rolls those lovely green eyes. “I’m not worried about that. I don’t want you to strain yourself. You’re hurt.” Her voice drops lower. “I hurt you.”
I kiss her forehead. “I scared you. I would never be upset with you for trying to protect yourself. But you never have anything to fear from me. I won’t let anyone harm you.”
She blows out a sigh. “I know you’ll keep me safe, but what you did isn’t okay. You drugged me and put some sort of tracking device in me without my consent. That’s unhinged, Brandon. I’m so relieved you’re alive, but don’t think I’ve forgotten about it.”
I kiss her again, and she doesn’t recoil.
“We can talk about it later. As you said, I’m seriously injured and need medical attention.”
She scoffs. “Oh, now your head wound is a pressing concern? Very convenient timing.”
I grin at her, delighted with her fire. Despite everything that’s happened to her, nothing has crushed her spirit.
“You look kind of maniacal, you know,” she remarks. “You shouldn’t be smiling at me like that when I bludgeoned you and made you bleed.”
“I’m your maniac,” I assure her. “I barely felt your little love tap.”
She rolls her eyes again, but her cheeks flush with pleasure. She likes hearing that I belong to her.
“I knew you were deranged,” she mutters. “I mean, when we were kids, I thought you were just a brooding boy. But this behavior since you entered my life as Bones and Rand is next-level crazy.”
There’s no venom in her words. My grin widens.
She slaps my chest again. I don’t fail to notice that she keeps touching her name where it’s tattooed over my heart.
“I’ve decided to stop pretending I’m sane,” I tease. “I think you like it that you make me crazy.”
She huffs. “You’re infuriating when you smirk at me.”
I chuckle. “You like that, too.”
“You’re more arrogant than you used to be,” she observes. “Has anyone ever told you vanity is an undesirable trait?”
“I’m not vain. I just can’t help feeling like the strongest man in the world when you’re in my arms.”
We enter the ensuite bathroom that’s attached to our bedroom, and I regretfully set her down so I can retrieve the first aid kit from under the sink.
“Take out that contact lens,” she commands. “It’s freaking me out.”
I blink and look in the mirror.
Shit.
She didn’t only recognize me in the woods because of the way I was holding her—like I used to when we were teenagers.
One of my colored contacts was knocked out when she hit me with the clock.
I grimace, but I can’t regret what’s happening between us.
Now that she’s looking at me with full recognition, I never want to hide my true self from her again.
I quickly remove the lens and toss it away.
She’s staring at me with something like awe.
She caresses my cheek, soft fingers tracing the lines of my newly crafted features from the reconstructive surgery.
“It really is you,” she breathes, peering into my eyes.
I press my palm against the back of her hand, trapping her where she’s touching my cheek.
She blinks, but her voice is still breathy when she demands, “Clean that cut and wash the blood off your face. I don’t want you getting an infection.”
“So bossy,” I approve. “Anything you command, I obey.”
She lets out an exasperated sigh and pulls away, but a small smile curves her lush lips. “Stop teasing me and take care of yourself. I’d do it for you, but I don’t really know how.”
I start cleaning the wound. “You like that I obey you, too. You want me to pretend to be in charge, but you love that I’m weak for you.”
She shakes her head, but that smug smile ticks up at the corners.
“It’s been years since we were together. You don’t know anything about what I like.”
I don’t wince when I seal the small cut on my forehead with medical glue. Nothing could hurt me right now.
“You told me all your darkest secrets, remember?” I drawl in the deeper voice I used as Bones. “I know exactly how to make you drop to your knees for me.”
She shivers in wicked delight but taps my nose in reprimand. “See what I mean? Unbearably arrogant.”
I step towards her, trapping her against the counter. Her lips part on a sharp gasp, and her pupils dilate.
“Get undressed,” I order. “I’m not the only one who needs to get cleaned up.”
My blood is drying on her hands and her shoulder. There are a few twigs in her hair from when I pinned her in the dirt.
Her hand encircles my wrist, shackling me to her.
“Take a shower with me.”
I groan and press my forehead to hers. “You don’t know what you do to me, Karolina.”
That cheshire cat grin scrambles my brain.
“I know exactly what I’m doing,” she purrs. “You said you’ll obey my every wish. I want to feel you against me.”
Boldly, she grasps the hem of her lavender sweater and pulls it over her head.
I swallow a curse. She’s not wearing a bra.
And when she shucks off her jeans, she’s not wearing panties, either.
I guess she didn’t take the time to put on underwear when she was running away from me.
I dismiss that dark thought before it can ruin this perfect moment. She’s not running now.
I pull away from her only just far enough to turn on the shower. The water warms almost instantly, and I make sure the temperature is perfect before ushering her inside the large glass stall.
Even with my considerable bulk, it’s more than comfortable enough for the two of us. I made sure to accommodate for her every possible desire when I bought this house.
The reality of actually sharing this intimate space with her is so much sweeter than I could’ve imagined.
Because she’s not naked in the shower with Rand.
She’s with me.
She’s looking deep into my eyes, and she sees straight to my soul.
I was a fool to deny myself this. Experiencing her full recognition after years of separation is almost euphoric.
The water is pink where it swirls around our feet, washing my blood from our skin.
I squeeze the body wash I know she’ll like into my hands and work it into a lather. She does the same, and her eyes momentarily close on a deep inhale.
I knew she would enjoy the rich vanilla scent with a hint of peppery spice. I’ve noted the bath products she’s bought for herself online over the last several years.
I don’t feel so much as a flicker of guilt over stalking her. My obsessive study of the woman I love means I know exactly what to buy in order to please her.
Her expression is almost rapturous as she begins to rub her soap-slicked hands over my body, tracing the contours of my muscles.
She’s touched me before, but it’s like we’re learning each other for the first time all over again. There’s an openness in the way she explores me; she’s not as guarded as she was before.
As her professor, I was a stranger to her, a man she was only starting to know.
Now, she recognizes her soul mate.
The water runs clear, all the blood and dirt washed away.