15. Karolina
KAROLINA
Finding out that Brandon was an assassin doesn’t change my feelings for him.
Maybe that’s crazy, but I can’t deny the love that still swells in my heart when I look deep into his familiar blue eyes.
Finally, there are no more secrets between us.
He was scared to tell me about what he’s done, but he was even more afraid to tell me about the horrors of his childhood.
He thinks his blood is tainted; he thinks he’s inherently evil.
I’ll prove to him every day that he’s not a bad man.
Yes, he’s killed people, but they were all criminals. They would’ve hurt others, and he stopped them.
The same way he stopped Shirley and Charlie from abusing more children.
I can’t hate him for that.
I still love him, despite everything.
The words tease on the tip of my tongue. I’m almost ready to declare my feelings for him out loud, but there are still matters to resolve before we can truly start our lives together.
His enemies are still a threat to me.
It all makes so much more sense now.
He’s more than just a brutal underground MMA fighter. If he was an assassin, of course he made enemies.
Brandon’s phone rings, and he picks it up from the nightstand. Ghost’s face fills the screen.
“If you’re done fucking each other’s brains out, I have an update for you.”
Brandon growls. “Don’t talk about Karolina like that.”
“I could hear you from down the hall. There was a lot of screaming. For a minute there, I thought I’d have to bust into the bedroom with my gun.”
I cover my face with my hands.
How embarrassing.
“Stop talking, or I’ll make you stop,” Brandon warns.
“You’ll have to come down here if you want to fight me. But I think you’d rather fight Costa. I located him.”
Brandon sits bolt upright, eyes flashing with vicious triumph. “I’ll be right there.”
He ends the call and kisses my forehead. “I’ll be back once I talk to Ghost.”
I climb out of bed along with him. “I want to know what’s going on.”
His lips purse with displeasure, but he doesn’t argue. He knows better than to try to keep things from me now.
We both get dressed and hurry downstairs. Ghost is in the opulent study, seated at an antique mahogany desk. He’s set up three laptops.
He described himself as the world’s best hacker.
I’m still wrapping my head around this underworld Brandon has been living in for the last five years. It barely seems real, despite his confession about Ragnarok.
“Where’s Costa?” Brandon demands as soon as we enter the room.
Ghost swivels around in his chair, blond brows raised. “Hello to you, too. It’s like you don’t even give a fuck that I dropped everything to come to England and save your ass. A little gratitude, Ragnar.”
“It’s Brandon.” He corrects his friend tersely. “And thank you.”
Ghost lets out a low whistle, and his eyes flick to me. “I never thought you’d come to your senses and tell her everything. I hope this means you’ll be less angsty from now on.”
I thread my fingers through Brandon’s in a show of solidarity. I don’t mind that Ghost is ribbing him a bit, but I’ll stand by my man.
“Tell me about Costa,” he insists. “Where can I find him?”
“He’s staying at a historic house in the Yorkshire Dales. He brought security with him, but nothing you can’t handle.”
It seems Ghost is confident in his violent skillset.
It doesn’t bother me as much as it should.
I don’t want Brandon to get hurt. It’s a good thing if he can handle himself.
“You have an armory here?” his friend asks.
“Of course. And a safe room.”
Ghost nods. “I remember that. I set up the safety protocols, remember? I’ll get your girl there if anything happens while you’re out taking care of Costa.”
I clear my throat. “My name is Karolina, and I’m standing right here. I want to know what’s going on, too. I’m involved in this conversation.”
He grins at me. “I knew you’d be good for Ragnar. He needs someone bossy to put him in his place.”
“And his name is Brandon,” I remind him coolly. “I don’t like these aliases, Logan.”
His jaw drops for a moment, then he glares at Brandon. “What the fuck? You told her my real name?”
“I’m not keeping any secrets from Karolina anymore.”
“That wasn’t your secret to tell.”
I wave away the argument before it can truly start. “Who is Costa? Is that the man who threatened me at Brownie Bakehouse?”
“Yes,” Brandon replies. “Sorry, Ghost,” he offers his friend a brief apology. “Did you find anything else?”
Logan’s jaw clenches. He’s still pissed off.
“More might be coming. I found messages between Costa and Ivanov. You were right: they were working together. Others might’ve known about it. You’re in deep shit.”
My blood goes cold. How many of Brandon’s enemies are targeting us? I know he’s strong and ruthless when it comes to protecting me, but even he has his limits.
“I don’t want you to get hurt,” I say, my hand tightening around his with a burst of anxiety.
“No one will hurt me,” he reassures me. “I won’t let them. I have you to come back to. Nothing will separate us again.”
“Who is Ivanov?” I remember how the man who threatened me with the knife spoke in Russian. “My stalker?”
Logan snorts. “Ivanov was an enforcer for the Bratva in Moscow. Your stalker is holding your hand right now.”
Brandon’s face turns thunderous.
My stomach drops. “What’s he talking about?”
“I thought you weren’t keeping secrets anymore,” Logan says pointedly. “Didn’t you tell her about how you’ve been obsessing over her for years?”
“You know I’m obsessed with you,” Brandon says to me. “I already told you how Ghost helped me track you down at UNC.”
But there’s more to it than that. I can read the fear in his eyes.
The terrible truth clicks into place. “You’re my stalker.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not like that.”
I try to yank my hand free from his, but he holds me fast.
“That sick note that Ivanov left me was so different from the possessive texts from my stalker. Ivanov tried to kill me twice. The person who sent those messages would never have hurt me. He thought I belonged to him.”
Oh, god.
Brandon has said we belong together. He’s been fixated on me since we were teenagers.
I wanted to be his, but I never wanted this.
“You manipulated me,” I accuse. “You pretended to be my professor. You took me into your office and promised to protect me, but you were my stalker all along.”
Ice encases my heart at the next realization. “You killed Rich.”
Brandon’s eyes flash. “And I would do it again. He tried to force himself on you.”
Rich flirted with me a little in public, but he tried to steal that sloppy kiss in the privacy of my kitchen.
“How could you possibly know about that?” My brain can’t quite accept what’s happening. It’s too horrific. “No one else was in my flat when that happened.”
Logan curses. “You didn’t tell her about the cameras?”
Brandon rounds on him, but I keep him leashed with my hold on his hand. “Don’t you dare. This isn’t about him. Will you ever stop lying to me?”
His friend lifts his hands in a show of contrition. “You said you told her everything. I didn’t mean to out you.”
Brandon turns to me. “I had to keep you safe.”
“You put cameras in my apartment?” I demand shrilly. “You let me think Rich’s death was my fault!”
I feel like I’m going to vomit. “What else have you done to me?”
He takes a step towards me, and I recoil. He won’t let go of my hand.
“Don’t touch me,” I beg, a broken plea. He pulls me closer. “Don’t fucking touch me, Brandon!”
He releases me as though I’ve burned him. My heart is breaking all over again.
Only this time, it’s so much worse than when I thought he betrayed me to Carter.
“I can never trust you again.” The truth leaves me a horrified whisper.
“Please, Karolina. Everything I’ve done has been for you.”
“That makes it worse!” I cry. “I didn’t want any of this. I don’t want this.”
I can’t. I can’t want this dangerous man, no matter how much I loved him when we were young.
“Don’t say this is the end of us,” he begs.
“How can there be an us when I don’t know you? Who are you, really? Bones, Rand, or Ragnarok? Which is it?”
“I’m Brandon. And you’re my Karolina.”
My soul shatters.
“Not anymore.” My voice hitches. “I belonged to the boy I loved. I don’t know you now.”
“You do know me. I’ve told you everything.”
“No,” I seethe, clinging to anger rather than succumbing to grief. “Logan just told me everything. You’ve done nothing but deceive me over and over again. I can’t take anymore.”
He’s chalk white. A light flickers and dies in his eyes.
He turns away from me, and his tone is devoid of emotion when he addresses Logan. “Send me Costa’s location. I’m going to the armory, and then I’ll take care of him.”
Logan scrubs a hand over his face. “Shit, Ragnar. I’m sorry.”
“You’ll keep her safe?”
“With my life. I swear. Fuck, I’m so sorry. I was pissed that you told her my name, but I didn’t mean to do this.”
Brandon doesn’t so much as flinch. He’s ice cold, expressionless.
He won’t look at me.
But my gaze is locked on him. I yearn for his touch. The invisible chasm that yawns between us is unbearable.
I force myself to remain frozen in place. I won’t reach for him.
He’ll only hurt me again.
I can’t bear any more pain. He ripped down the walls around my heart, and now it’s raw and aching.
I’ve never been more vulnerable.
I’ve never been more alone.
Brandon walks out of the room, each step heavy with finality.
I know he’ll do what’s necessary to save me, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever see him again.