Chapter 3
three
Piper
Ican’t sleep—the desire running through my body has me throwing the sheet aside as I get up, careful not to wake Phoebe, who is sleeping in her own twin bed a few feet away.
I take a quick glance at baby Paige, still sound asleep in her crib, before slipping out of the bedroom and into the living room.
The open window in the bedroom does little to circulate air.
I need something to cool me off because my mother’s room is the only one with a window air conditioner.
Jovi and Jonah have the only fan, leaving Phoebe, Paige, and me with only the open window for relief from the heat.
But the heat I’m feeling has nothing to do with the warm air and everything to do with Jax.
For the life of me, I can’t figure him out.
Why is he hanging around trash like Deadeye and Two-Bit?
He seems so much better than they are. It doesn’t make sense.
Take tonight, for example. The way Deadeye and Two-Bit were talking about the merchandise seemed to upset Jax.
He looked like he wanted to rip their heads off, but I don’t think they noticed.
Then there were the steaks. I know damn well Deadeye had nothing to do with Jax buying them.
Deciding the living room isn’t any cooler, I step out of the trailer wearing only my thin sleep shorts and top, into the darkness of the night. It’s barely after midnight, but the trailer park is quiet, almost too quiet.
There’s a creek that runs a little way from our trailer, with a secluded spot I sometimes escape to for a few minutes when I want to be alone. Tonight, I can only hope it keeps my secret shame as I touch myself, needing relief from thoughts of Jax before I go insane.
The moonlight casts a soft glow across the water, tempting me to jump in, but without anyone else around, I don’t want to risk drowning, even in the shallow water.
Instead, I tuck myself away in my secluded hiding spot, lie down on the grass, and slip my hand down my shorts—something I’ve never done before but have read about in the romance novels I buy at the second-hand store.
My fingers find the wetness between my thighs, slick with my desire.
The first touch is soft, almost feather-like, causing me to moan softly.
Knowing I don’t have much time, I pick up my pace, finding my stiff clit pulsing with need.
Pleasure rushes through my body as I rub my fingers harder and faster over the little nubbin.
“Jax.” I close my eyes with a moan, imagining it’s him touching me.
“Fuck, Piper. You’re so beautiful like this.” I’m so far gone in my fantasy of Jax that I can hear his voice.
“Yes, Jax. Touch me.” I groan, sliding my other hand under my shirt and onto my breast. “Please,” I beg my fantasy Jax.
“You’re going to be the death of me, Piper.” Fantasy Jax whispers against my lips, but it's too real—I can feel his warm breath against my mouth, causing my eyes to fly open to find the real Jax lying down beside me on the grass.
“What are you doing here?” I gasp, trying to pull my hand out of my shorts, but he stops me by covering mine with his, pinning it against my soaked pussy.
“I came to apologize for earlier and confess my feelings for you.” He places a soft kiss on my forehead. “I can’t tell you everything yet. Just know I’m not the bad guy I’m acting like.”
“Jax, you’re starting to scare me. Why can’t you tell me?” I try to wiggle free, but he wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me tight against him.
“The less you know, the better. I just need to know you trust me.”
I look into his eyes, moonlight revealing his vulnerability, and I remember every sweet gesture he’s made for my family and me, and the disgusted looks he’s given Deadeye and Two-Bit. “I trust you, Jax,” I say, knowing without a doubt in my heart that I do trust him.
“Good.” He blows out a breath. “Now let me help you with this.” His lips crash down on mine as he pulls my hand out of my shorts, replacing it with his.
His fingers trace my slick lower lips before slipping inside me, making me moan against his mouth. “Yes, Jax. Don’t stop.”
“Never.” He kisses his way down my neck, lifting my shirt to lick each of my nipples with care before descending lower to first lick around my belly button as he drags my sleep shorts over my hips and down my legs to make room for his wide shoulders between my thighs.
The first touch of his tongue on my pussy catches me by surprise. How can something feel this good? If his tongue feels this good, imagine how good his cock would feel buried deep inside of me.
Deciding to give in to my desire for Jax and give him my virginity, I beg him to take me. “Jax, please make love to me.” I thrust my hips up to meet his greedy mouth.
He stops mid-lick, raising his head to look into my eyes. “Not like this. Not until I can tell you everything.”
I see the pain and desire in his eyes staring back at me, “Okay, Jax. I’ll wait.”
With a satisfied smile, he dives back between my legs again, his tongue lashing harder and faster in desperate strokes, as if this were the last time he’d touch me like this.
I want to reassure him that I’m his for now and forever, even if he’s hiding something from me.
But just as I’m about to tell him, a wave of pure pleasure begins to build in my body, seeking release, and the words get stuck in my throat, replaced by a cry of ecstasy as wave after wave of pleasure pulses through me.
“Good Girl.” Jax moans against my inner thigh.
His hot breath on my sensitive skin sends another wave of pleasure through me.
He pulls my shorts back over my legs and hips, covering me as he kisses his way up my body until his lips meet mine.
“Thank you for letting me touch you like that. I’ve dreamt of it since the first moment I saw you.
” His lips brush mine in a soft kiss, and I taste myself on him, making me want more when I feel his hard length pressing against me through his jeans.
I pull my head back, breaking the kiss, “Do you want me to return the favor and take care of that?” By the feel of him against my leg, I’m not sure it will fit anywhere in my body, but I’m willing to give it a try.
“No, Princess, tonight is all about you.”
Princess.
No one has ever called me that before—like I’m special—like I matter. I wonder if this is how my mom feels about her boyfriends. No sooner is the thought in my head than I’m cursing myself for comparing the two—I am not my mother.
“I should get back to the trailer. Prue will be home soon. She usually crashes on the couch for a few hours until either Phoebe or I get up, then she takes one of our beds.” Admitting we can’t afford a bed for all my siblings makes me realize I can’t drag Jax into my messed-up life, and I can’t leave my family high and dry just for some guy, even though I know he’s more than that.
“I’ll meet you here again, tomorrow night, if you want.”
If I want.
Of course, I want to be with him every chance I can get, but I can’t risk continuing this relationship and ending up pregnant and alone, with another mouth to feed, repeating my mother’s mistakes.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I roll to my side, out of his arms, and scramble to my feet. “Thanks for the steak, and for tonight.” I rush back to the trailer to the sound of Jax calling my name. It isn’t until I’m safely inside the trailer that I let the tears fall.
“What’s got you all upset? Is it a man?” I jump at the sound of Prue’s voice coming from the couch. She sits up and motions for me to take a seat next to her. “Why don’t you tell me all about it. I can’t sleep anyway.”
“There’s nothing to tell,” I slump on the couch next to her, my heart shattering at the thought of losing Jax.
He was never mine to begin with. I have no reason to be so upset.
“Okay, suit yourself.” Prue pulls her knees to her chest and rests her head on them.
Even in the room’s darkness, I can see the sadness in her eyes.
“I’ve been offered a promotion at work.” Oh, no, this isn’t good.
Prue is a waitress at a strip club. The only promotion available to a waitress is to become a stripper.
“Oh, Prue, you can’t take it.” I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer. “I’ll pick up extra shifts at the diner.” The last thing I want is for my sister to have to take off her clothes for money.
“I appreciate that, Piper, but we need more money, and we need it fast. Football practice is right around the corner, and Jonah needs new shoes.”
“But.” I start to say, but she pulls out of my embrace and holds up a hand.
“No buts about it. We need the money—it’s just dancing.
I promise I’m not going to do any of the other things some dancers offer.
” The promise hangs heavy in the air. We will always need more and more money.
I know for a fact that Prue will do whatever it takes to get us the money, even sell her body if necessary.
I know this because I would do the same for those I love.
“My first shift as a dancer is Friday night.” She stands and makes her way to the door.
“I need some fresh air.” She opens the front door and steps into the first rays of the morning sun, leaving me cursing the life the universe has dumped on my sisters and me.