Her Envy (Her Sins #4)

Prologue

PLAYLIST: ATLANTIS – SEAFRET

“You will not look back,” my father says. “You can never return.”

“But—“ I begin, but he cuts me off.

“You can’t,” he says. “The contract stated very clear rules of termination.”

“She got abducted! And has no idea where and how—“ I shout at him, and tears fight their way into my eyes down my cheeks. “I can’t just leave her—“

“You will,” he says harshly. “Orders were clear, we have to leave and vanish. You should be glad, after all this time, you are free to go and do whatever you desire.”

I can’t. My body revolts. Because even though I have pretended to be someone all those years, I can’t let go of her.

She is my friend. My only friend. My best friend The one I talked to about everything—well, almost everything.

Because she doesn’t know who I really am.

But she is the one. The one I secretly loved since forever.

Secretly, because I was forbidden to be in any other relationship with her than the contract allowed.

Now, I have to leave her behind. But how do you leave the person you love behind?

“What if something happens to her?” I ask in pain. I can’t leave her. I can’t. It feels as if I am ripping my own heart out.

“There is nothing we can do,” he says coldly. “Grab your stuff, here’s your paperwork, and take this laptop. Everything is on there, the password is this,” he says, and hands me a piece of paper.

I am wiping away my tears as I take what he hands me. I am not ready for this. It was supposed to be a forever job. I thought I would have had the chance to come clean…explain…maybe even tell her—

“Does he have her?” I ask.

“Giuseppe?” my father says.

“Yeah.”

“I believe he has, and everything is as it was meant to be. You have to vanish, because she is supposed to take over. She will come for you.”

“Why would she? I could explain—“

“You cannot, and will not. Our order is to vanish and become a nobody. You will never see her again. You will run from her, because you will be the one to take the blame.”

“Me?” I ask incredulously.

“Yes, you. It is part of the plan, which makes her able to succeed with the plan Guiseppe has created for her, and also the reason why we have to scatter and leave.”

I am speechless at this point.

“Where will you go?” I ask with a robotic voice.

“The dream,” he says. “Where freedom is. Bahamas.”

Blue water and a beach with nothingness around me would be my personal hell, but my father always dreamed of the peace of nothingness.

“So that’s it?” I ask. “This is goodbye?”

“It is,” he says. “Take care, kiddo.”

He hugs me briefly and walks.

I see there are emotions in him, but he never dares to show them.

“Dad,” I call after him.

He turns.

“Where’s mom going?” Because I always thought they’d leave together.

“I don’t know,” he says, and with that, he is gone, leaving me standing in our empty house in the outskirts of London, not knowing where to go, what to do, and suddenly being all alone.

My father is departing.

My mother vanished to somewhere where I don’t know, without even saying goodbye.

My best friend dragged into a life no one warned her about.

A hollow void fills my chest, and I sink to the ground.

I am so alone.

So, so alone.

I stare into nothingness until it gets dark outside.

I don’t know what to do.

There’s always a way, I hear Sophie tell me in my mind. My best friend. Who is gone now. Don’t let the bad rule you. You are the creator of your life.

That’s what she would tell me.

More tears come as I think of her.

I want to get her. Help her. Save her. But I can’t. Because I’d trigger people who will haunt me till death.

People who are violent killers.

Men who are violent killers.

Men who would come for me.

Men who would tear me apart.

There is only one thing I can do. Leave, and never look back. But how do you leave the person you love behind?

You don’t, says a voice in me.

“No, I don’t,” I say out loud as I grab the laptop my father has handed me.

I enter the password.

Everything I need is on there.

History on me, as Amelie Degard. Not Luisa, but Amelie. I have no clue who Amelie is.

There are bank accounts.

Mail addresses.

A whole fake life perfectly created.

I find my father’s death certificate.

“Blimey,” I breathe out as I understand how deep it runs.

I open the envelope with the papers.

Passport.

Driver’s license.

Social Security number.

Suddenly, the door opens behind me and I jump up.

Five men with guns point at me. I know them all.

“What are you still doing here?” asks the smallest of them.

“Where is she?” I ask him.

“You were ordered to leave,” he says harshly.

“I need to know that she’s okay.”

“She’ll be fine,” he says dismissively. “Leave now, or we’ll burn this down with you in.”

I stare at him, weighing my options. But there is no way I am up against the lot of them.

I grab my stuff and throw it into my backpack.

I walk past him and run forcefully with my shoulder into him.

“When anything happens to her, I’ll find and kill you,” I whisper at him before I walk out the door.

I step onto the street into the darkness of the night, where three black Range Rovers are parked in front of our front yard. It’s cold. I walk between the rows of the same triste houses.

Walking away from everything I ever had.

One backpack is all that’s left of my life.

As I reach the corner, I risk one glance back.

Coldness spreads through my chest, not from the cold air outside, but from the knowledge of what I am about to do. What I have to do.

And right this moment, as I look down the dimly lit street with its dull charm of conformity, I leave behind with the only person I ever loved, I promise myself a single thing.

I will never, ever love anyone again.

The next part of my life will be unapologetically mine.

I won’t live for anyone.

I won’t let anyone close.

I won’t ever feel the dread I feel right now ever again.