Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
At breakfast the morning of the ball, Elizabeth’s two cousins insisted on deciding which sets she would save for them.
Lady Romsley expressed satisfaction that two of her partners were settled. Then, evidently discomposed at having not considered it before, she said, “But with whom will you open the ball? How could I overlook such an important point?”
“Oh, err,” Elizabeth stammered, unsure what to say but not wanting her aunt to be distressed longer than necessary. Realising there was nothing to do but speak plainly, she said, “Mr Darcy has already asked me for the opening set.”
For a moment that seemed to stretch into minutes, silence hung over them.
She was not sure which direction to turn or whom to look at; every part of her felt heated, and she was certain the secrets in her heart would be visible to her relations.
In short, she was in danger of liking Mr Darcy too much.
But is it too much? she reflected. How could it be, when I would have to be a fool not to understand he likes me.
She knew ‘like’ was not the proper word to describe his feelings, but she could not bring herself to even think the other word, not just yet.
“He did, did he?” the earl said. He wore a grin of satisfaction that Elizabeth found both pleasing and mortifying; the first she understood, but why should she be embarrassed? There was no good reason, and she resolved not to permit herself to act so missish again.
“Good,” Fitzwilliam added. “I was afraid he would forget to.”
With a laugh, Bramwell said, “Not forget so much as be stupid enough not to!”
“Oh,” Lady Romsley said, her brow arched and gaze resting on Elizabeth.
“I had not considered, but… Well, we shall see what the future holds, shall we not? I would not want you to leave me too soon, since we have just found one another. But then, I know I must share you with your Bennet relations and my brother and his family.”
Elizabeth gave an awkward chuckle and sipped from the nearly empty cup of coffee.
Fortunately, Fitzwilliam, sitting across from her, said, “The muffins this morning are particularly good, are they not?” Catching her eye, he winked, and even more fortunately, the conversation moved on from her dance partners for the night.
At the ball, Elizabeth joined her family in greeting guests, some she had met before and yet more she had not.
Fortunately, there was little time to converse with the Hursts and Bingleys when they arrived.
Although the ladies attempted to remain with her, Lord Romsley hinted curtly that Mr Hurst take them to find his older sister, who was also in attendance.
Before they did, Mr Bingley requested that Elizabeth save him a set.
Given the crush of people all arriving at the same time, Elizabeth had little opportunity to speak to Mr Darcy before the dancing began.
She was with Lord and Lady Romsley when he came to collect her for the opening set, and as they began to move through the pattern, she caught sight of her aunt and uncle watching them, whispering to one another and smiling.
She knew they would be pleased if she and Mr Darcy married; her aunt had hinted as much that afternoon when they were alone together.
I wonder what the Bennets would say, she thought with amusement.
They all believed she disliked the gentleman, and it might be wise to prepare them for the possibility of them marrying.
As she regarded him, his tall, fine figure so elegantly attired and his visage that seemed to grow handsomer each time she saw him, she decided the only reason it was a possibility rather than a certainty was because he had not proposed.
While she did not feel prepared to become betrothed immediately, she would welcome some sign that he did love her and want her as his wife.
Only then could she allow her feelings for him to blossom fully.
She felt the sentiments pressing against the barrier behind which she was currently guarding them, wary of crushing disappointment if she was mistaken about his wishes, but it was increasingly difficult to restrain her affection for him.
“I have not told you how beautiful you look this evening, have I?” Mr Darcy said. “I apologise. If I were more adept at flattery, I would say I was too caught up in contemplating your loveliness to speak of it or some such thing.”
She caught herself before she grinned too broadly, which would only make her appear silly. “I thank you for the compliment and for sparing me such flowery, insincere language. Am I permitted to say that you look especially fine tonight?”
A dusting of pink covered his cheeks. He gestured subtly towards the earl and countess. “You have noticed them observing us?”
After she nodded, he continued. “Our uncle spoke to me about you. About my interest in you.” His voice was soft and deceptively casual, and she suspected he longed for greater insight into her sentiments, just as she did his.
“Did he? Given he raised no objections when I said you had asked me to dance, may I assume it was not an overly difficult conversation?” She was unsure what more to say. With luck, he would know from her tone that she did not mind them discussing the possibility that they would share a future.
He shook his head. “Not at all. You have seen for yourself that he and my aunt are excellent, caring people. Above all, they wish only for the happiness of their sons and nieces and nephews. That is not to say they would approve of us befriending just anyone.”
In other words, he believed Lord and Lady Romsley would not have liked him marrying her when she was Elizabeth Bennet.
On the one hand, he might have been more concerned about her position in life than they would have been.
On the other hand, she understood why he had been reserved, given the uncertainty regarding her parents.
Mr Bennet had often assured her that her mother and father had been married long before her birth and the only objection to their union had been because his sister was not grand enough for her paternal grandfather.
Eloping was always wrong, but there were worse crimes against propriety a couple might commit.
“What of your other aunt, the earl’s sister?” she asked. Lady Catherine was seldom mentioned, and she was not sure whether it was because they were not on close terms or because she was not related to Elizabeth and thus less relevant than her Sterling relations.
“She is not such a pleasant topic. From how Mr Collins spoke of her, you must have gained an understanding of her character. She expects everyone to do what she thinks is best, usually without reference to their own wishes.” He rolled his eyes.
“Let us speak of something more agreeable. What news have you had from Hertfordshire? I trust your family is well.”
They briefly discussed the Bennets and other mutual acquaintances in Meryton before changing the subject to the Festive Season.
“I cannot possibly find the words to adequately express how wonderful it has been,” she told him.
He smiled in such a way—his eyes so full of affection—that she had difficulty continuing.
“I believe I may have mentioned how glad I am to have found my aunt”—they both laughed—“and to have learnt more about my father and his family—my family. I feel…”
“What?” he enquired, his voice hardly above a whisper. The pattern of the dance had brought them close together, and he spoke close to her ear, the warmth of his breath sending shivers along her spine.
Meeting his gaze, she said, “Happier than I ever have before. I shall never not be part of the Bennet family or love them less than I did before finding Lady Romsley, but I feel like I am meant to be here, with all of you.” She mouthed the final few words rather than speaking them aloud, knowing they were bold and not wanting to be overheard.
What mattered most was that Mr Darcy understood she included him, that he was part of the reason she felt so comfortable with her current situation.
Though they said nothing more in the final minutes of the set, they kept a steady gaze on each other.
She experienced the same sensation she had before in his presence—a lightness that left her dizzy.
Their connexion had changed greatly since the dance they had shared at Netherfield, a mere six weeks ago.
While the difference was shocking, what she felt most was overjoyed and extremely eager to see what the future held.