Chapter 10
Delaney ‘Laney’
He’s rolled to his back and has me resting against his chest, my thigh with the injured hip resting over his body to stabilize the injury and angle. It’s like he’s studied me, memorizing the best way to hold me, touch me. Love me.
“Hawke, I want you. I want all of you. I want you in me. Please, Hawke.”
“Will you trust me? I think the best way this first time is for you to kneel and hold on to the headboard. Then I can hold you up to keep the pressure off.”
“Mmm, doggie style. That always looked fun.”
“Huh?”
“Hawke, I’m not a little girl. I’ve been to college and believe me you can see a lot under the bleachers. I’ve read romances and watched a little porn to get myself off. There are several things I want to try.”
He runs a hand down his face. “You’re killing me here.”
“No. I just want to make us both feel good.”
“Oh babe, you make me feel good.” He slaps my ass just hard enough to get my attention. “Get in position.”
He grabs a condom while I reposition. I can’t believe this is real. I’ve dreamed, hoped for so long. I look over my shoulder and whisper, “Hawke?”
He meets my gaze with concern and hesitates.
“I love you, Hawke. You are the only one I’ve ever wanted. Will ever want.”
Leaning over me, he kisses my cheek then my ear. “I love you, too, Laney. Only you. Forever. Marry me when this is over.”
“Yes.” He seals our promise with a kiss.
“If this starts to hurt or you get uncomfortable just tell me. You’re in control.”
Grabbing the headboard I nod.
He smooths his big hands over my hips, molding and stroking my buttocks. His hands are calloused and I’ve seen the knife scars on his fingertips. The way they feel sliding over my flesh so gently, carefully, telling in their strength yet stimulating in their coarseness.
He teases my clit until I’m begging, before slipping one finger then two into my channel.
“Now Hawke, now I need to feel you inside me.”
He notches himself, grabs the headboard next to my hand and supports my hips with the other as he slowly fills me.
I feel so full at first. He waits, ever patient, and strokes my body, cupping my breast, teasing my nipple, then slowly moving inch by inch, pausing to let me adjust. Going deeper and growing harder as we meld together as one.
“Damn. You feel so good. The way you grip me like you were made just for me. Laney, you are so responsive, so beautiful. So perfect. I love you, Laney. I will always love you. I will always protect you.”
“You’ve owned me for ten years. Now you’re mine,” I counter back.
“Yours. And you’re mine.”
“Yes. Yours and always faithful.”
Flexing his hips to our personal rhythm, the pressure builds until we come one right after the other. Carefully, he helps me lay down then gets a warm cloth to clean me before climbing in beside me. “You want to sleep on your side or back?”
“Side, if you’ll cuddle to my back.”
He helps me roll onto my good side and slips a pillow between my legs. The amount of knowledge he has of my condition tells me more than all the words he could use. His love is real. Just like mine for him.
We make love again when we wake. The shower is a tight fit, leading to a lot of accidental bumps, rubs and groping. We’re both content when we leave.
It’s late afternoon of the third day. I’m more content than I’ve ever been. I’m here, alone with Hawke. We’ve made love, snuggled, made love. He’s insatiable, but I am too. I waited so long. I just can’t get enough of him.
The love we share is almost tangible. It surrounds us. He no longer hides his feelings and he’s so attentive and surprisingly sweet. The world tried to harden him, yet the thoughtful, protective boy who sat on the fire escape in case his mom needed him, is still inside.
I’m getting restless. I want out of the cabin. I’m trapped in all these open spaces that I can’t explore. I’m a prisoner. I want a normal life. I am so sick and tired of always looking over my shoulder and expecting the worse.
I need to work. I don’t do idle very well. Since running and even hiking are off my plate, work is what has kept my mind engaged through all my recoveries. In the three days we’ve been here I’ve already read five books and beat him at poker sixty-five percent of our games. I rub my forehead.
“Are you okay? Are you dizzy? Have a headache? We need to watch for these things.”
“Not dizzy, and the headache is very mild and is probably from boredom rather than the injury. I need something to do. Could we get an update? Would you ask your boss if there is anything I can be researching from here to help find Allen?”
He raises a brow. “You’re supposed to be relaxing, doing your exercises and healing.”
“Look, Sarge. You have timers on your watch to make me do my exercises and I haven’t missed one.
“You go out several times a day to check perimeter and your traps and get fresh air. That’s what you do.
“You won’t even let me sit on the porch to get fresh air. I’m going stir crazy. I need a change of scenery or at the least something to do. Preferably both.
“I develop programs to find things, people, information. I love my research. It’s all I have. I need to engage my brain. Please.”
“No one in your office is going to know Allen better than I do. If they can get me a secure line, I could be helping.
“In fact, I was talking to the nice lady at your work, Evie, about what I do for a living. She seemed to think my master’s degree in computer science and development could be a good fit for Halo Security.
They’re always looking for qualified people.
This would be a great way to show them what I can do.
“She said they have terrific benefits. I could do contract work, mostly work on my own. Maybe sometimes with a team on a larger project. She said they could accommodate my injuries.
“I couldn’t handle full time in the beginning, but if I could set my own hours.
Like for the nights I can’t sleep. Sitting in bed and working helps take my mind off ‘me’ and my pity party of one.
She assured me they screen all clients and any personal contact would be at the office or secure online.
“I lost all my clients with the first injury, and I’m sure I won’t have many of my new clients left when I get back from this one. I need something...”
“So, Evie’s already recruiting you?” Hawke shakes his head.
“She was so easy to talk to. It felt like we were old friends. Like a best friend I hadn’t seen in forever and we were just catching up. Everything just kind of spilled out.
“I need to feel useful. I need... I’m not a victim.”
His gaze holds mine. “No, you aren’t. We need an update. We can check in with Vance, see what he says. If he agrees we’ll go from there.”
“And a walk outside....”
“One thing at a time.”
Vance is in a meeting, but Evie has us talk with her network guys and they confirm that I can work from the cabin without worry of being traced.
After confirming my knowledge base and talking tech for thirty minutes I feel almost human.
Then Vance gets on the line giving his approval and another hour is spent talking with the team who’ve been working on the case.
They have a couple other big cases going and my help and personal knowledge on this one is gratefully accepted.
Suddenly, I’m energized and feel useful.
Worthwhile. Hawke watches over me all afternoon, bringing drinks and insisting I get up and move around every forty minutes.
At five he makes me quit and we do my exercises.
Then cook dinner together. Our poker games are more equal this evening making me wonder if he’s been losing on purpose.
“You get thirty minutes on the computer while I do a perimeter check. Then it’s shower and bed.”
“Tomorrow, you’ll take me outside? You said we’re secure here.”
“Let me think on it.”
He heads to the door, pauses, and comes back, taking me in his arms to kiss me.
I almost don’t recognize the taciturn man who’s spent a lifetime hiding behind his walls.
I love both parts of him and understand the whole so much more.
He has so much love to give, but rejection and growing up hard and fast taught him to hide his gentler side.
But it’s still there. More and more, he’s letting me in.
I open my laptop. Something’s been nagging at me since Hawke and I had our conversation about Allen.
The feeling that I am the one who got away keeps going through my mind.
What if I wasn’t the first woman he stalked and then stole from?
What if I was supposed to die and I really am the one who got away.
What if my accidental death was part of his plan all along. When I didn’t die, he had to try a second time. Maybe the goal was always to steal my work, then dispose of me. I was an easy mark. My parents were gone and my brother was deployed a lot. No one to get in the way.
I start my search looking for female students who disappeared or died unexpectedly from my college and within a one-hundred miles radius. Then cross reference to see if any of them were in programming and if they tutored.
My phone vibrates. It’s Hawke telling me five minutes and I better be off the computer when he gets inside. It’s time for bed. I smile. Bed sounds like fun.
My connection is moving at a snail’s pace anyway. In the morning I’ll contact the office and see if someone there can initiate the inquiry on their system.
Hawke’s unmistakable two raps on the door bring a smile to my lips. I glance at the camera feed and rise to meet him. His presence sends all my thoughts of code and programs into the wind.
There is only one thing I want to focus on right now and it’s my man. It hits me. He’s my balance. My life. All I need.
Wrapping one arm around my waist, he lifts me, before shutting the door, locking it, setting the alarm and toeing off his boots. “Need you. Now. Shower.”
Pausing outside the bathroom, he pulls off his shirt then mine, dropping them to the floor. My sweatpants are half off when he sets me on the counter to finish disrobing me. The rest of his clothes land in a pile at his feet.
“Hawke, I’m... you had to hold me the last time.”
“Babe, my ruck sack is heavier than you.
Leaning into the shower, he turns on the water and adjusts the temperature.
Then pulls a condom from his discarded jeans and rolls it on his already engorged cock before lifting me and stepping us into the shower.
The warm water splashes on my shoulders and soaks my hair.
“Wrap your arms around my neck and hook your legs on my hips.” He leans my shoulders against the tiles. “I’ve got you, just relax. There is nothing for you to do but enjoy. This is another good position for you. And I need you hard, babe.”
He holds me with one arm under my ass like I weigh nothing. Then leans down and suckles my nipple. “Damn, you are sweet. I love the little moans you make when you like how I touch you.”
Slipping a hand between us, he teases my nub with his thumb as he gives my other nipple attention. My arms are wrapped around his neck and shoulders. “Yes. Yes, that feels good.”
“Gonna make you feel even better, babe.”
He lines his cock at my entrance and slowly pushes forward filling me so good. I moan.
“Systems check. You, okay? Your hip, okay?”
“Yes.”
“Am I supporting your leg enough? Is the angle okay?”
“Yes.”
“Is my...”
“Fuck me, Hawke. I need you to fuck me.”
He pulls back and slams back in.
“Yes. Yes, just like that. God, you feel so good.”
It doesn’t take long and we’re both exploding.
He holds me cradled to his chest as we both come down.
Then he gently washes my hair making sure he rinses it well.
I wash his chest and back. Too soon he takes charge and finishes us both.
After toweling us off, he sets me on the counter and helps me dry my hair.
Then takes me to bed and snuggles me to his side.
Safe and peaceful sleep finds me immediately.