25. Sebastian
TWENTY-FIVE
SEBASTIAN
After a very pleasant time spent catching up with Ashley in her childhood bedroom, I finally eat the doubly reheated lasagna.
Ashley wants a little more time with her family; my brain is so addled from the past few days that I almost suggest staying the night.
Then I think better of it, pretty sure her mom won’t be up for that considering she’s been hearing all about what a jerk I am since yesterday.
Not to mention, I need to return Seth’s SUV.
In the end, I head out before Ashley’s mom gets home from work.
I drive back to Toronto almost in a daze.
I can’t believe it all happened: she actually forgave me, and we’re going to be in a relationship, and now I’m her …
boyfriend? Significant other? I’m so bad at this, I don’t even know the right words.
But I haven’t started panicking yet, so that seems like a good sign.
I’m so lost in thought that I miss Seth’s exit off the highway and have to double back.
Diana answers the door and gives me a concerned look as she takes the keys. “You look drunk. You weren’t driving our car drunk, right?”
Seth comes up behind her and breaks into laughter at the sight of me. “I think he’s drunk on love.”
“You could say that.” I try to smile like a normal person, but it ends up being a sloppy grin. I didn’t realize how letting my feelings out would show on my face.
“Does this mean congrats are in order?”
I shrug, trying not to reveal too much about what went down. “I don’t want to jinx anything, but we’re figuring it out.”
He surprises me by pulling me into a hug. We’ve hugged maybe twice before, and only while drinking. “I’m glad. You can tell me more later. Do you need a ride home?”
I didn’t think that far ahead, but I don’t want to inconvenience him more than I already have. “Nah, I’ll get a rideshare.”
When I get home, I shower and collapse on my couch.
I forgot how tiring highway driving is, not to mention the emotional stuff and all the other exertions.
I look at my phone. Am I supposed to be texting Ashley?
I dropped a line so she’d know I got back safely, but people in relationships seem to be constantly sending messages to each other.
I open a browser and type “How often should I text my girlfriend?” Unsurprisingly, the responses are not helpful.
I don’t want to bother Seth with my ineptitude, so I do something I’ll likely regret and text Penelope for advice.
She’s a woman, and not an overly needy person, so I assume she won’t tell me to message thirty times an hour.
Hypothetically speaking, if you’re dating someone, how often would you expect them to text you?
Penelope:
WTF???
Asking for a friend.
Has hell frozen over?
Are you … Are you dating someone? A real person?
Or have you been kidnapped and this is how I know to send the police?
Blink twice if you need help.
Very funny.
The phone rings. It must be a grave matter because I don’t think she uses the phone function unless it’s an emergency or to contact Mom.
“Sebastian,” Penny yells when I answer. I don’t bother telling her that I can hear fine if she speaks at a normal volume. “Are you dating someone? Like in an actual relationship?”
“Um, kind of.” Technically we haven’t gone on a date, but this doesn’t seem to be the time to elaborate. “We’re trying things out.”
“Did she hit her head? Or did you?”
“Thanks so much,” I reply dryly.
“For real though, how did this happen? Who is she? Where did you meet?”
I laugh. “We met at Saugeen Hall during dorm orientation.”
“A dorm? You’re not dating a teenager, are you?”
“No! Give me a little credit. I meant we met during my orientation week, as in fourteen years ago.”
There’s a crash like she dropped something. “Oh my God. Are you dating Ashley?”
I hadn’t planned on sharing this with my entire family yet. It’s so new. I’ve barely wrapped my head around it myself; dealing with everyone else’s reaction is a little overwhelming. I suppose Ashley’s mom and sister must already know, so it’s out of the bag. “Yeah, Ashley and I are together.”
She lets out a long breath. “You better get your shit together. She’s a catch, and if you break up, I will choose her over you.”
“Noted, and that would be the right choice.” I’m getting tired of this interrogation, so I try to steer the conversation to where it started. “So back to the texting thing.”
She starts cackling and doesn’t stop for way too long. I can hear her gasping for breath. “Oh, Sebastian. She’s one of your oldest friends. Just text her like you’re used to. Or better yet, ask her. Don’t overthink this.”
Too late. “I’ll try not to. Thanks.”
“No problem. I’m here to be your life coach and navigate this difficult transition. Do you need me to recommend florists? I predict you’ll need to send apology flowers regularly.”
“Very funny,” I reply, hoping she can imagine me rolling my eyes. “I’m sure I can manage. I may not do relationships well, but I do have some skills that can put me back in her good books.”
“Ew, please no. I don’t need to think about that,” she groans.
“Sorry, that’s what you get for mocking me. Thanks for all your stellar advice, sis.”
“Any time, Sebastian,” she says. “And good luck. I’m happy for you. This is great news. You’re growing up.”
I scoff. “You know I’m older than you, right?”
“That doesn’t mean anything. Anyway, stop talking to me. Text your girlfriend.”
Maybe I truly am maturing, because that word makes me feel warm inside. “Will do. Love you.”
“Love you.” I hang up and look at my phone. Before I can finish typing a message to Ashley, it pings with a text.
Ashley:
Hey Bash. XOXO
Hey. What are you up to?
I’m throwing together some dinner and my parents are watching game shows.
Are you panicking?
I guess she does know me.
Only a little. How did you know?
I had a feeling.
Surprisingly, online searches on how to have a relationship aren’t that helpful.
Just kidding. Or not.
Oh Bash.
Sorry, I know you don’t like it when I call you that. If I’m your girlfriend, I should at least pretend to respect you.
Well, if you want to know a secret… I kind of like it.
But only from you.
Ashley sends me a bunch of heart emojis and a few GIFs. I guess I’ll have to up my emoji game.
Seriously, we can’t be Bash and Ash in public. That’s too much.
LOL
I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later though.
Okay, cool.
I remember promising to be honest and let out my emotions, so I type out another message.
I love you.
Love you too.
It still sends a shot of joy to my heart to see it in writing. I’m grinning at my phone. I guess people really can change.
It’s not evening yet, so I might as well do some of the work I’ve neglected over the past few days.
I scroll through my whole inbox, which is disturbingly full after such a short time.
I review the site’s user reports and blocks from the past week to see how our filters are working, which, thankfully, is well.
I check out the posts from Tansy, our downtown influencer, and boost them since she’s our only team member who hasn’t been in an emotional maelstrom this week.
We’ll need to recruit someone else now that two-thirds of the influencers are off the market.
I scan the comments to my last Mr. Six post. A few loyal followers are invested in a relationship between Mr. Six and Miss Midtown, which is curious.
I’m deep into analytics when I realize that hours have gone by and I haven’t heard from Ashley.
Should I text again? Am I failing at this already?
Then I realize I haven’t eaten since the lasagna in Waterloo.
I’m psyching myself up to investigate the contents of my fridge when I get a call from my concierge, Tony.
“Rossi, you’ve got someone here with food.”
Did I dissociate and order something without realizing it? “I wasn’t expecting anything.”
“I sent them up.” He says this in an amused tone, as though he hasn’t completely neglected his job and sent a potential stalker to my unit.
“Why would you—?” I don’t finish the thought because there’s a knock at my door. I’m about to chew him out when I see Ashley through the peephole, standing there with takeout containers, a duffle bag at her feet. My heart leaps in my chest at the sight of her.
I open the door. “Ash, what are you doing?”
Instead of answering, she puts the containers down and kisses me hard and fast. When we pull apart after a minute, she says, “I figured you might freak out, so I came to remind you that we’re in this together.”
Tears spring to my eyes at how well she knows me. Love has made me sappy, but I don’t fight it. I don’t have the words to tell her everything that I’m feeling, so instead I grab the takeout, as well as her bag and she follows me inside.
Once we’re in my apartment, Ashley takes the food from me and heads into the kitchen while I drop her things in my bedroom. My head starts spinning when I emerge and see her opening my cupboards to pull out plates. My girlfriend is here, in my apartment, and it’s like she belongs here.
“Are you okay?” Ashley asks. I must have been woolgathering for a moment, because I realize I’m frozen in the doorway.
I take her hand. “More than okay. I’m so happy you’re here. I was panicking before, just a little.”
She looks me in the eye and grins. “Of course you were. I get it. It’s a lot to wrap your head around, being in a relationship, and being in love, but I’ve got you. You’re stuck with me, Bash.”
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Hurry up and get dressed!”
I drag myself out of bed, groaning. “Do we have to? I can think of better ways to spend a Saturday morning.”
“Yes,” Ashley replies, not pausing as she pulls on running tights.
She doesn’t turn to look at me, likely because she knows I’d shoot puppy dog eyes at her.
“You aren’t going to quit running now because you got the girl, are you?
Plus, you signed up for that race and you don’t want to come in dead last.”
I bark out a laugh at how well she plays me. After throwing on clothes, I follow her into the kitchen.
“Oh, I got the girl, all right.” I take a swig of water and wonder about Ashley’s friends. “Does everyone know we’re together now?”
“I only told Laurel and Stevie, but gossip spreads through the Milers like wildfire, so of course everyone knows. Be prepared for Mark to threaten you with bodily harm if you do me wrong.”
I send up a silent prayer of thanks that Mark apparently doesn’t know how big of an ass I was.
It’s only been a week since we made up, so it’s not like I’ve made a ton of strides, but I’ve been researching therapists, and the idea of talking through my fear of commitment doesn’t fill me with existential dread the way it did before. Progress.
“Let’s go,” Ash says, pulling me away from my thoughts. We grab granola bars and head out.
Any hopes the group would handle our relationship in a low-key way are out the window when we arrive.
A bunch of Milers are standing around chatting.
I see Mark, Tess, and Victor, and before we can say hello, Jason yells out from behind me, “Moment of silence for Mr. Six. The king of one-night stands is no more.”
“Fuck off, Jason.” Ashley smacks him on the arm, though she’s laughing, as are the other runners.
“What’s all this?” Cal asks when he and Laurel arrive amidst the fallout. “Did we miss something?”
“They’re marking the death of my single life, apparently,” I reply.
He surprises me with a pat on the shoulder. “I’m sure it was a good run, but we’re glad you made it to the other side.”
I look over at Ashley and she catches my eye. As I watch her face break into a smile, my heart expands just knowing she loves me. “Me too, man. Me too.”
Miss Midtown Reel (with transcript)
Miss Midtown in wig and glasses and Mr. Six in Groucho glasses appear in rainbow tank tops.
“Hi everyone! It’s Miss Midtown here, and guess who’s with me? It’s Mr. Six!
“I’ve taken some time off from my account, and I appreciate those who gave me space.
Some of you called it: Mr. Six and I are an item!
We’ve officially been together for a little while.
I guess it’s true that some people find love through dating apps, although ours happened rather unconventionally.
[Mr. Six kisses her on the cheek and mumbles “I like unconventional.”]
“Anyway, today we’re here at the Pride and Remembrance 5K with Single In The Six co-founder Seth McKendrick [Seth waves] and a group of runners from the Midtown Milers club [various people wave in the background].
Mr. Six is going to run his first ever 5K race.
Please give him lots of cheers and support.
We won’t be running in incognito mode because it’s hot out here and this wig isn’t exactly breathable, so if you’re here in person, you might see what I look like in my natural state.
“It’s been so fun sharing my dating experiences with all of you. While I hope I won’t have any more horror stories to share [pauses to give Mr. Six a knowing look], I plan to keep posting from time to time with my thoughts about online dating and how to make the most of the app experience.
“Thanks for cheering me on during this crazy journey and most importantly, get out there and have FUN while you’re looking for love.” [Both wave at the camera.]
Comments:
Congratulations! Great to see you got your man. Wishing you all happiness. <3
I have to say, I’m shocked you locked the man down. It seemed like he was a hopeless case. Not sure if I believe it’ll last but good luck, I guess.
Called it! My friend owes me a drink. Pay up, girl.