Chapter 8 #3
Kylie let go of the frame. “We were just—” she began, then stopped when Jonah spoke over her.
“How much did you hear?” he asked. He hadn’t moved toward Summer yet.
The envelope had creased beneath Summer’s thumb. She smoothed it between her palms before answering him.
“From the bit about the wedding,” Summer said. She kept the envelope against her chest.
Kylie’s face flushed. “I wasn’t discussing you,” she said. “I was just making sure my friend is happy.”
Summer was already looking at her husband. “I want to go.” Summer’s voice was steady now. “Please.”
Jonah came to her. Behind him, Kylie said his name, and he turned only far enough to answer. “Leave it, Kylie.” He went ahead to the front room for their coats. “I’ll talk to you another day.”
Summer wished he hadn’t promised that. Outside, he held her coat while she found the sleeve. She kept the envelope in her hand and walked down to the car.
He didn’t start the engine. For a while they sat with the wind rocking the car gently, dried leaves collecting against the wipers.
“I didn’t know she thought that,” he said. “About coming back.”
Summer looked at the house. Through the lower window she could see someone carrying a box, too far inside to make out the face.
“Didn’t you?” she asked. “You were together twice. Maybe she expected a third.”
“But I didn’t.” He leaned toward her. “Summer, look at me.”
She turned. His face was frightened enough to make her want to be kinder, and that made her angry too.
“Did you marry me because I was pregnant?” she asked. “Please don’t answer before you’ve heard me.”
He closed his mouth. She had to make herself continue.
“I know you love me. I think you do.” Her voice broke on the correction, and his hand came toward hers.
“But we barely knew each other in April. We were still finding time to spend a whole weekend together, and then suddenly we were looking at rings.”
He kept his hand open between them. “I loved you in April,” he said. “I didn’t need to know everything.”
“Would we have got married?” Summer looked down at his hand. “If I hadn’t been pregnant?”
He waited too long. Then he said, “Probably not that soon.”
She looked away, blinking back tears.
“Summer.” He caught her hand now. “You asked me about the date. If you ask whether I regret marrying you, the answer is no.”
“You wouldn’t say you regretted it. You’re too nice for that.” Tears blurred the windshield. “You’d never say that to me. Even if you wished you hadn’t.”
“Then what am I supposed to say?” His voice rose, and Summer looked at him. He was pale beneath the irritation. “I answer you and you tell me I can’t mean it.”
“I don’t mean—” She stopped, because she didn’t know how to finish without taking back the question. “I keep thinking we had this whole reason to hurry. Now there’s no baby, and you can’t say you want to slow down because we’re already married.”
“I like coming home and finding your things everywhere. I like waiting for you, even when you’ve forgotten to tell me you’re going to be late.” He tightened his grip on her hand. “I’d have asked you anyway. You’re the one for me.”
“And Kylie?” Summer asked. Her voice was almost gone.
“I love you.” Jonah leaned closer. “I’m married to you. I don’t want her back.”
Summer shut her eyes. He drew her toward him as far as the handbrake allowed, and she pressed her face against his shoulder.
“I hate asking,” she said into his coat. “I wasn’t like this before.”
“Come here.” Jonah held the back of her head as she tried to sit up. “You’ll knock yourself on the steering wheel. Stay a minute.”
She stayed there until the worst of the tears passed. Then she sat back, angry at the makeup on his collar and at Kylie for having made her need this conversation in a parked car.
“What will you say to her?” she asked. “When you talk another day.”
“That she doesn’t get to discuss our marriage.” Jonah’s jaw tightened. “And there isn’t anything between her and me to wait for.”
Summer wiped her face with the tissue he found in the glove compartment. On the drive home she kept his free hand in her lap, turning his wedding ring until he asked whether she meant to wear it out.
At home she put the tickets on the dresser. Jonah came upstairs behind her and stood in the doorway while she took off her earrings.
“I still want to go,” she said. She met his eyes in the mirror.
“Of course.” He came to her without answering. His mouth touched the bare place behind her ear, and she turned into him, catching his coat before he could take it off. The kiss was clumsy with the remnants of crying; she didn’t care.
When they drew apart, she kept her hand at his neck. “I’m hungry,” she said. “And I don’t want to make dinner.”
“I’ll order something.” He brushed his thumb beneath her eye. “Stay here a minute.”
She waited while he took out his phone. He ordered the food with one arm around her, stumbling when she pressed her mouth to the open collar of his shirt. Summer closed her eyes and listened to him forget what he had meant to ask for.