8. Chapter Eight
When Honor awoke the sun was just rising. The dark blue night sky was slowly receding into a show of pink and golden sunshine. Honor stretched as the the room grew even warmer, her toes curling against the blanket. She closed her eyes and let the light go from dark to peach, smiling to herself as she sunned like a snake. What a Christmas Morning.
She could feel Jane at her side. The blankets rose and fell with each breath.Honor turned on her side in order to look at her. Her blonde hair seemed even blonder in the Christmas sunshine. Her face was half buried in the pillow. Honor found herself looking at the half of the face she could see. There were things she had never noticed about Jane. She had a mole on her neck, and her ears were a little large for her head. It endeared her. Everything endeared her about Jane.
Honor reached out and pushed a blonde curl behind Jane's ears. Jane's nose wrinkled and she pushed herself closer into the blankets.
"Don't do that," She murmured. "I want to stay here."
"Hello to you too," Honor said.
Jane's eyes fluttered and then opened. She stared at Honor for a moment before she smiled.
"Oh, it's you," She said. "I thought it might have all been a dream."
"Hello to you too," Honor said.
Jane stretched and pulled closer, evidently hungry for the warmth of another body. "Happy Christmas."
"Happy Christmas to you."
"We should probably leave as soon as we can," Jane said. "The children will be rising soon, and I have to tell Mrs. Purser of my resolution." Despite her words, Jane didn't move an inch.
"I suppose we should." Honor felt just about as inclined as Jane to move.
"…Would you like to come back here, some day?" Jane asked. It was a simple question, but Honor knew what was really being asked. Was this a one time thing, or was this for now?
Honor's response was to kiss her on the head. "You have big ears," She said. "I'll have to visit again, if only to see them in full. It'll take multiple visits."
Jane's nose wrinkled as she laughed. "What an utterly peculiar thing to say."
"I can be peculiar too."
"I thought governesses were only stern, stodgy things."
"We can be peculiar too." Honor's stomach grumbled. "And peckish. We should go."
They dressed quickly in the clothes they had worn last night and slipped out of Lynton House while the sun was still licking at the horizon. Honor was quite proud that they managed to dress without any over-long caresses and looks. By the time they reached the main house the sky was light. Clouds lingered on the horizon, as they always seemed to, but the air was alive with the promise that Christmas morning brought.
Mrs. Purser stood in the kitchen. Her keen eyes fell upon both Honor and Jane, and her head tilted to the side. For a moment she seemed to not know what to think. But then she fixed Jane with a look of annoyance that wasn’t really annoyance. It was the sort of look one’s mother would give to a misbehaving child: both irritated and indulgent.
“I see you located Miss Holt, my lady,” She said with a long-suffering air. “I hope you do not intend to come down to Christmas breakfast in such a simple frock.”
Jane giggled - actually giggled! It was so endearingly adorable that Honor almost kissed her then and there. “I can change,” She said.
“Do that. As should you, Miss Holt,” She said, turning her attention to Honor. “The children haven’t awoken yet. Need I remind you that you still have to do your duty even after a long evening.”
Explaining her nocturnal activities to Mrs. Purser had never been in Honor’s plan, and she didn’t intend to start now. “Of course, Mrs. Purser.”
“Then I shall see you two in a while.” And that was that. Mrs. Purser seemed quite aware of what her ladyship and her governess had been up to, and didn’t seem to care a fig.
Jane explained as they moved up a side staircase. “She is aware of who I am,” She said. “She has known me since I was a girl.
"Oh. Is she-?"
“She is not of my persuasion.” Jane said.
“Oh.” Honor replied.
“She is not of any persuasion.” Jane explained.
“Not of any?” Honor asked.
“None. She has no interest in anything of the sort. She derives the same pleasure from a book and a nice sunset that some might from a kiss or an ankle. She is disinterested in mankind, be it man or woman.”
“Is that such a thing?”
“I suppose that it’s closer to being like us than it is being like them ,” Jane mused. “And in that case, I welcome it. When I was younger she knew of Lady Linton and I, and she never breathed a word. Apathy, I assume, but also kindness. She’s the closest thing to a mother I’ve ever had.”
“Then I shall appreciate her too,” Honor said quite simply. “If you love her, I shall love her too.”
Jane paused. She gave Honor an absolutely beatific smile. How somebody could see that smile and not be immediately in love, Honor would never know. Or not immediately distracted. What was she- ah, yes. Dressing.
The pair of them had to part, rather unhappily, but Honor found herself back in her own room. She closed the door tightly behind her and leaned against it, almost sliding onto the floor. If she wasn’t sure she was fully in control of her senses, she might have thought she was dreaming.
She had done something she’d never done before. Even in her wildest dreams, even in her most sordid of fantasies, she had never dreamed to be in the service and the ‘service’ of a lady such as Jane Linton. Lady Anna and her stinking dreams of summer faded away in the beauty and glow of a winter romance. December had always seemed to be a truly magical month, and now Honor knew it to be true.
But still, even here, Honor could not be anything but herself. As she dressed she found herself wondering if this would last. Could something like this last. It felt so terribly wonderful, and in Honor’s experience nothing terribly wonderful ever lasted. But for what it was, it was. And what it was was wonderful. And she would savor each second of this, no matter how things changed when the spring warmed the earth.
Honor Holt loved Jane Linton for now, and that was all that truly mattered.
Well, that and a good breakfast.
Honor quickly changed into the nicest dress she had. It was a simple frock in a dark, rich red, just the color of a good red wine. It was made from a heavy, practical fabric, but the care of the fitting made it seem special. Honor brushed out her hair and tied it up in a simple knot, and finished it off with a golden hair comb.
She moved into the children's room to wake them. Anne was still asleep, but she leapt out of bed the moment she was called. "Oh! Miss Holt!" She said, wrapping her arms around Honor. "You look so very beautiful!"
Honor smiled at that. Her outfit would be sneered at in the Ton, but Honor thought she'd never looked lovelier. Perhaps emotion made one look nicer.
She was excited to find out.
The children were quickly dressed and escorted down to breakfast. Normally the children ate apart from the adults, but Jane had asked for a meal with Honor and the children days ago. With no lord in the house, and no guests come to visit, they could do what they liked. Honor perked up the moment they entered the dining room. The table was laden down with every kind of thing one could ever want at a Christmas breakfast. Bowls of spiced tea, and mulled wine sat in the center while cups of hot chocolate had been set aside for the children. Jane was fond of coffee, so a steaming mug had been prepared with plenty of cream and sugar on the side. Piles of fresh pastries were on display – croissants, and rolls, and scones with jam, and a gigantic plum cake that would have taken two people to lift comfortably. Roast beef and bacon, and every kind of meat in between all lay ready for eating, alongside a mountain of eggs. Honor's mouth watered at the same time as her eyes widened.
"All of this is for us?" She asked.
"Us, and the staff." A low voice replied.
Honor turned. Jane stood there, hands clasped in front of her in a perfect example of femininity. She wore a dark green dress, an uncommon color for clothing and no doubt chosen to show off the Linton wealth. It had a simple silhouette, falling across her body like many of the fashionable frocks. It was edged in white, like a pile of snow against a green lawn. It seemed both spring-like and winter like at the same time. It was beautiful – so terribly beautiful that Honor's breath was taken away.
"Jane…" She murmured.
Jane held a finger up to her lips. Later, it seemed to promise. Then she put on a bright smile and stepped into the dining room. "Anne!"
Anne rushed into her arms, already chattering away about what toys she expected, and what fun they'd have. They then sat down to feast. There was food, and food to spare. Evidently those dining in the dining room would have first picking, but after they finished the entire staff would dine. With no guests to entertain or a lord in the house to appease, they could do as they like.
"I don't care how improper anyone may find it," Jane made a point of saying as they dived into their feast. "If they do find it improper, he, or she, may speak to me."
Honor caught the meaning, and had to stifle a smile. Lord Linton might find his sister quite changed when he returned home. Whoever this Vera was, she'd be in for a challenge.
After breakfast they retired to the parlor. Presents upon presents were set on the table, and Anne could barely contain herself. Little Henry cooed in Honor's arms as Anne dove into the pile of presents. There were plenty of toys for the little lady, and even some gifts for her littler brother. Jane's face shined with unashamed joy as she watched her niece. She only managed to look happier when her own gift from Anne was presented.
"Oh!" She said as she unwrapped the doll. "How lovely! Anne, this is truly wonderful."
Anne grinned a gap-toothed grin. She was too excited by the day to ever notice how the doll had been mended. Honor and Jane locked eyes as Jane set the doll next to her. Jane quickly winked before turning her attention back to Anne.
"Anne, please grab that gift near your feet."
Anne plucked it from the floor and eagerly read the name on the package. She rushed over with the small box, a smug smile on her face.
“This is for you, Miss Holt,” She said. “For you, from Aunt Jane.”
Within was a piece of jewelry that took Honor’s breath away. It was a small golden broach in the shape of a lion’s head. The lion bore its fake fangs, the fangs being made from a false pearl substance. It looked to be made from real gold, and was inlaid with two red glass eyes. It was a simple object, a mere trifle for a lady of the Ton. But Honor had never owned something so beautiful.
“I cannot accept this,” Honor said quietly.
Anne giggled. “Miss Holt has never been so quiet!” She seemed quite amused that her governess was at a loss for words.
“Please do take it,” Jane gently prompted. “It really was nothing.”
“To you, I’m sure,” Honor said. “But I’ve never owned something like this. Where did you find it?”
“It was something I had I thought you’d like.” But Anne scowled at her aunt’s words.
“That’s not true! You traded a city friend for it! You sent away by mail and everything! You traded your pearl neck-.”
“That’s enough, Anne.” Jane said as she began to blush.
“You asked a friend for this?” Honor asked.
“Yes,” Jane replied. “A friend of mine in the city. A very dear friend. We should all meet in the summer. You would like her. Perhaps I’ll throw a garden party.”
Jane took a prim sip of tea. “She’s a great scholar of Greek poetry. She has a passion for Sappho.”
The homage was not lost on Honor. She clutched the broach to her chest, fingers tracing over the delicate materials. "Jane…"
"Think nothing of it," Jane said.
The afternoon was spent in the same way. Anne was quickly lost in the tide of gifts, and had no interest in talking to old-fashioned adults or listening to their chatter. The baby became tired around lunch, and Honor excused herself to take the children for a nap. While they rested, she composed a letter to her father. They had not always agreed on things, but he was the only father she would have, and she felt more conciliatory than she normally did. Perhaps it was the season. By the time she finished writing to her father, and then one to her cousin, evening had come.
Dinner was another show in excess. It was a sit down dinner with several courses, the first being a clear soup which Honor was surprised to like. There was then a mountain of oysters to eat, and more salmon on the table than seemed to live in the sea. That alone would have been enough for Honor, but there were other courses to eat. A roast goose, as plump and fat as a beedle, was presented with all the trimmings. The table gasped and applauded at the cook's skills, and little Anne was fairly yelling for her serving. With that came slices of hot pigeon pie, offerings of mutton, and sides of cabbage, vegetables, and sauces. They gorged themselves on the offerings until there seemed to be nothing left, but then dessert was offered. As perfect a Christmas Pudding as any that ever existed in England was offered, and everyone cheered at the show of flame and fire. Slices of plum cake were offered to all, and the whole meal was washed down with glasses of hot spiced wine.
When darkness came there was a lull in the evening. The children were absorbed in play, and the servants were off having their own dinner. It was a time where it seemed everyone was involved in their own little world, and at that time Honor caught Jane's eye. They looked at each other for a moment or two and then Jane stood up.
"I think I should like to take some air," She announced to the room, as if it had been her own idea. "Miss Holt, would you accompany me?"
Honor nodded quite demurely. "If you'd like. Let me just grab my shawl."
"You wouldn't mind keeping an eye on the children for a few minutes?" Jane asked Mrs. Purser. She had popped her head into the room when the conversation started.
"Of course not," Mrs. Purser said. There was an irritated yet fond tone to her voice. "We shall be here when you return."
The stars were just as spectacular as they had been the night before. As Honor looked up at the sky, she swore they seemed to dance. They twirled in and out of the dark blue sky like diamonds against velvet. Jane had changed dresses into a dark red gown with a red fur cloak. She was the only thing that could be more breathtaking than the sky.
"You remind me of a cardinal," Honor began.
"How very romantic." Jane replied.
"You look like a cardinal against the snow," Honor continued. She'd begun, so she might as well continue. "You're so striking."
Jane smiled. "Most people think me plain. Most men in the Ton do."
"Most men in the Ton don't have eyes," Honor replied. "Or if they do, they don't know how to use them."
Jane sighed, allowing a puff of air to float around her head. "I'll have to write my brother in the morning. I planned to do it last night, but then we were…distracted. I need to do it in the morning."
"What do you think will come of it?" Honor asked.
"A fight, no doubt," Jane said. "He may not even respond. He might just send his bride here. If she's looking for a fight, she'll find one." Jane looked around. Spread out before them was Herecross Manor. Buried under the snow, and with only Honor and Jane in sight, it seemed made just for them.
"I love this place," Jane said. "Perhaps too much. But I am a Linton, and all that dwells here is in my care. I love all within."
"All?" Honor asked.
Jane turned to look at her. Her cheeks glowed red from the cold. In the pale light she seemed like a snow queen sprung from the ground to defend what she loved. They stared at each other, just lost in the moment. A gust of wind picked up, and it swirled the loose snow around their feet, tossing it into the air. They seemed perfectly alone in this Christmas moment.
"I don't know what to say," Jane breathed.
"Don't say anything," Honor replied. "Just kiss me."
Their lips met as the stars gleamed above, as constant and eternal as love itself.