Chapter 12
Jeremiah
She’s gone. The house feels like it’s empty without her there, a smile on her face and singing like a lark while I read from manuals and we act like an old married couple.
It takes me only one minute, a minute where my heart is racing, my stomach is roiling and it feels like I’m about to lose my breakfast. If I’d been able to eat any.
My phone rings and I groan when I see that it’s Rand. I answer it. “She’s on her way into town. She’ll be back in civilization in new time.”
“What the hell did you do, you idiot? I gave you the perfect opportunity to finally make things right with my sister and you managed to fuck it up? What is wrong with you?”
“What do you mean, you gave me the opportunity?”
“ I sent my sister there to find you for a reason. I’m tired of you two being at daggers drawn because you can’t give in to the fact that you belong together. You’ve always belonged together!”
My mouth falls open and I pull the phone away from my ear to stare at it.
“What do you mean, you planned this?”
“I did,” his smug tone makes me want to punch him in the mouth. And the two of you managed to fuck up again. Do you have some problem with being happy?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay. Do you love my sister?”
“Yes, yes, I do.”
“Great. Then you need to stop this martyr act and find my sister and tell her that you love her.”
“I can’t do that, man.”
“Why the hell not?” he asks me, his voice hard.
“Because I’m not right for her. I’m going to hurt her. She deserves better.”
“Well then I suggest that you start therapy and start working on yourself, man. Because the only man that she’s always wanted with you and she tried to move on.
It was a disaster. She picked someone who hurt her worse than you.
Is that what you want to make her do? Go find a poor substitute for you and live a terrible, awful life? ”
“You’re being dramatic,” I huff. But fear tugs at me. Am I fucking up our lives?
Do we belong together and our stupid actions are just hurting each other worse than taking the time to really help each other over our obstacles?
Mine being worse than hers and hers being mostly because of me.
“Do you love her?” he asks me.
“I do. I love her more than anything on this earth. More than you even.”
He huffs out a laugh. “You think I don’t know that? If I didn’t know you loved her so much and you were trying to do right by her, I’d have killed your sorry ass a long time ago. So now that you’ve finally admitted it to yourself, what are you going to do about it?”
It only takes me one minute and then I’m grabbing my coat and heading out the door. “I’m going to find her, admit that I love her and I’m an absolute idiot and then I’m going to beg her to stay with me.”
My best friend cheers. “Hooray! He’s finally got his head out of his ass. Now get out there and make this right.”
Grabbing my keys out of my pocket, I jump into my rusty truck and head for the road. I force my foot to the floor and the truck leaps forward like an aged gazelle.
I squint out the windshield and within five minutes, I’m in sight of the Sheriff’s car and I’m hanging out the window, hitting my horn and just generally being the biggest idiot on the planet.
I guess I’m just good at that.
The car in front of me slows and pulls to the side of the road and puts on his revolving lights.
I pull up behind them and park the truck, taking a deep breath and then opening the door.
I walk up to the car and my friend eyes me with a smirk. “It’s a good thing I drove slow, asshole. By the way, I’m supposed to pull you over. I hope you never do this again or I’m going to arrest you for impersonating an officer.” But he breaks the seriousness of his announcement with a chuckle.
“Fix this,” he says and nods at her. “Go ahead and get out to talk to him. I’ll stay here just in case you want to shoot him if he acts up again.”
Marina’s ice-blue eyes widen but she scrambles out of the car and comes around to me.
“What’s wrong? Is it my brother? Did you hear from him?”
I nod my head. “Yeah, I did. He told me that I’m an idiot.”
Her pretty lips twitch. “I could have told you that.”
Smirking, I grasp her hand and hold it in mine, my thumb rubbing over her knuckles.
“When I left that first time it was because I couldn’t let you tie yourself to a broken man. A man who couldn’t sleep a whole night. The man who hurt your brother and permanently disabled him. Because of me he’s blind.”
She shakes her head, her fair curls sliding over her shoulder. “No. You didn’t do it. The people who shot at you guys did it. The people who planted those bombs that you guys drove over did it. I never blamed you.”
“I did.”
Cocking her head, she sighs. “I know that. I tried to talk to you but you wouldn’t listen.”
“I was in a bad place. I wasn’t right for you then.
But I’m better than I was. I’ve gone to some therapy and I promise I’m going to more.
Because I don’t want to do this anymore.
I don’t want to say good-bye to you and watch you leave.
Or leave myself. I want to be the man who wakes up with you by his side.
I want to hold you tight and protect you every day of our lives. ”
I smirk. “I want to fuck you so hard that I give you twins instead of just one baby. Because I intend to get you pregnant as fast as I can to lock you down. I love you, baby. I love you so much and I’m so sorry I’m an idiot and I kept hurting you over and over again.
But I hurt myself too. Every time I left or I asked you to leave, I tore another piece of my heart out and stomped on it. ”
“I desperately need you to stay here with me. I want my heart back and since you own it, the only way I can have it is if I keep you. So please, baby. Please say you’ll give this stupid old man another chance to make us both happy.”
She sighs and then she smiles. “Now was that so hard?”
I laugh so hard that I almost fall over.
“Come here you crazy woman!” I grab her, hold her tight and swing her around wildly, my eyes locked on her glowing face as she smiles back at me.
Then I gently set her on her feet and my head dips, my lips finding hers.
Slowly, gently, I devour her mouth, my lips moving on hers, my tongue running along her teeth, her cheek. Everywhere I can reach to claim her.
She moans and clings to me and I hear a soft chuckle behind me as a bag lands at our feet.
“I don’t need to see this shit. I’m happy for you guys. Invite me to the wedding!”
Then my friend drives off and leaves us there, smiling like idiots.
“Let’s go home,” I tell her.
She nods her head, tears in her eyes, her hand clasped tight in mine.
I pick up her bag, help her in my truck and then drive us home, my fingers entwined in one hand of hers, the other on the steering wheel.
And when I get us home, I lift her out of the truck and carry her to the door, smiling.
“Welcome home, Mari, my love.”
She laughs and wraps her arms around my neck, a pretty pink blush staining her cheeks. I carry her over the threshold just like I will one day when she carries my name and I know that I’ve finally got everything I’ve ever wanted right here in my arms.
The love of my life. My past, my present and my future all rolled up into one beautiful, perfect woman that has always held my heart.
And she always will now. Just like I will hold hers.