Chapter 11 #2
“Good. That’s the kind of thing you should log,” he said, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a small journal.
He put it on the desk between them. “This is my journal from the year I won the championship. It’s got everything in there.
Even the stuff I did wrong. I wasn’t on my A-game that year, but I was happier than I’d ever been before, and I think some of that joy translated behind the wheel. ”
Joy.
Not sex. Inigo flipped open the journal and glanced down at it.
Keke was very detailed, outlining everything from the moment he woke up.
He detailed his sex with Elena too, which Inigo didn’t want to read about.
But when he flipped the page, he saw that Keke had then described how he’d felt when he qualified for the race.
“I went back at the end of the race and underlined the things I thought helped me,” Keke said. “Marco thinks this is all mumbo jumbo, but racing has never been just about the machine. The driver has as much to do with it. And I think you are on the verge of finally understanding what that means.”
“I agree,” he said. “Thanks, Keke. I think this will help.”
“Good. That’s what I was hoping to hear,” the other man said, clapping him on the back. “Marielle can make you into a better driver, but watch the balance, because some women can become the kind of distraction that no man wants.”
Marielle had more fun with Elena and Keke than she expected to.
She’d been exposed to many drivers in her year as a trophy girl, but it had been different than this quiet evening at home.
They ended up playing cards with the other couple, and she saw a different side to Inigo.
He was relaxed but a little on edge at first, which made sense given that Keke was a former Formula One champ and his boss, but as the evening wore on, he started to loosen up.
Elena had given her some advice about dating a driver.
Marielle appreciated it, but it also made her realize that many people didn’t know about her affair with Jose.
Carlton had done a nice job of covering it up.
At the time she’d been ticked off that he’d stepped in, but thinking about how Elena and Keke might have treated her if they knew, she was glad.
And it drove home the fact that if she was going to keep doing this, even just as some sort of friends-with-benefits thing, she needed to make amends with Bianca. She was starting to really care about Inigo, but she had to be careful because she had a way of ruining even the simplest relationships.
“We should be going. I told the sitter we’d be home by eleven,” Elena said. “Thank you for helping salvage our night.”
“You’re very welcome,” Marielle said. “I really enjoyed it.”
“Me too. You’ve got my number, so text me. We can have lunch or coffee,” Elena said.
“I will,” she said when Elena leaned in to kiss her cheek before she and Keke left.
When the door closed behind them, Inigo leaned back against it. “That was unexpected.”
“It was. I think they saved our evening,” she said.
“I think so too,” he said. “Listen, I think I was wrong to suggest we hook up so I can improve my time. I don’t want that to be the only reason we are together.”
“Me neither,” she said. “But honestly, I don’t see a way for us to be together. I mean, I’m lucky that they didn’t know I had been with Jose, but that is bound to come up at some point. I don’t want that to affect how everyone sees you.”
He shook his head and then rubbed the back of his neck.
Something she realized he did when he was trying to figure out what to do.
They were both caught between the past and this thing between them.
It had almost been easier when it had been just sex.
But tonight had changed that. She felt like they were becoming friends, and she couldn’t hurt a friend.
She had so few, and each of them was cherished. She had to admit this was the first time she’d met a guy who made her feel this way. That didn’t mean she was going to pursue it. In fact she was pretty damn sure she was going to walk away.
She had no idea how to handle him. She reflected on their evening with the older couple.
What she’d seen between Keke and Elena was different than anything she’d experienced before.
She liked it, but they were very domestic and that wasn’t where she was in her life.
She’d pretty much decided that marriage wasn’t for her.
And could she be satisfied with anything less? Would he?
He’d just asked her to hook up, so she guessed he’d be happy with much less.
“It’s too bad that we can’t just...never mind,” he said.
“What? Don’t turn shy on me, speedy. You’ve never hesitated to say what’s on your mind.”
He shrugged. “I was going to say sneak around, but I don’t think either of us would enjoy that.”
“No,” she said, turning away from him and walking back to where she’d left her bag. She didn’t want to be his secret lover. She’d done that before. “I think this really is goodbye.”
She turned to face him and then walked over to grab her coat and the container of leftovers the chef had prepared for her before he’d gone home for the evening. She put on her coat as Inigo stood near the door watching her as if he wasn’t sure what to do.
But she was taking herself out of this equation. She’d had enough of this world. That confidence that had come from her early-morning discussion with Inigo was all she needed to make herself move on. This was fun right now, but history had taught her that it would become toxic in no time at all.
“I hope you continue to post those faster times,” she said. “I think this year is going to be a good one for you.”
She leaned over to kiss his cheek, but he turned his head and their lips brushed against each other.
She deepened the kiss without thinking, thrusting her tongue into his mouth as she angled her head to grant her more access.
She put her free hand on the back of his neck and enjoyed every second of the kiss before she stepped back.
“Good night.”
She opened the door and walked away without looking back. She knew she’d made the smartest decision in her history of dating. Though she had a few twinges of regret thinking she could have hooked up one more time with him, she knew in the end this move had been the best one for her.
Her sleep that night was restless, and she dreamed of Inigo’s touch on her body, waking in a fever for him, but that was something she was going to have to live with.