Chapter 5
Kane
After a restless night I'm woken by Sadie moving around, looking in cupboards.
"There's no coffee. But there are some power bars in the draw.
" I tell her while I get up to stretch. She glances over and I notice her eyes drop to my stomach.
The army got me into shape. Living rough up here has kept my muscles well honed.
She looks away quickly with a cute little blush.
Interesting. I'm glad I have an effect on her.
Because she sure as hell has an effect on me.
"What's the plan for today?" She asks.
I run a hand through my hair. I don't know what to do.
My instinct is just to lock her in this cabin and watch over her to keep her safe.
Or to run. I'm not a man who like to run away.
But the idea of running away with Sadie is interesting.
And I will do anything to keep her safe.
When we were kids everyone called me reckless.
But I don't want to be reckless with her.
"We'll check that your truck is still there. I'll make a plan depending on what the weather is doing. If it looks like storming then we might be stuck here a little longer." She seems satisfied with that for the moment.
I thought I was feeling twisted and confused before when I just had to decide if I was going to stay with the Ridge Riders.
But now, seeing Sadie again after all these years.
She feels like home. She is just the same.
Stubborn. Funny. That joy for life she always had.
I think I used to have that too. I have memories of us running through the streets.
Riding our bikes. Laughing. It all seems to be in a golden light of sunset.
I think I've been looking for that feeling all my adult life. I just didn't know it.
And then there is Sadie herself. She is beautiful.
Just a pure, natural beauty. No make-up, no fancy clothes, she is so comfortable with who she is.
But there is a little chip on her shoulder.
A determination to prove herself that is damn adorable.
I never thought I would be attracted to my friend's kid sister.
But we're not kids anymore. And I almost crave her.
I want to sink into her curves. My hands ache to touch her.
But I can't give into my desires. She's my best friends sister.
Off limits. And there is no way that I am good enough for her.
Maybe, in another life, if things had turned out differently, different choices, then maybe.
But not now. Not here. I am who I am. I am the choices I have made that have led me to here.
She is sunshine and joy. She makes me think about a house and a family and love.
Look at me. Look where I am. I can't bring her down to my level.
No matter how much I might long for her.
It doesn't matter that it is the first time in the longest time that I want for anything.
I can not have her. It doesn't matter that she has woken me up, that she makes me want to be a better man.
For the longest time I haven't cared about anything.
Now she has me wanting to make improvements to this cabin, fix it up.
Have something better for myself. There is even the house I bought in town and haven't stepped foot in for years.
It was probably the one thing I did right after I got out of the army.
Took the money I had saved and bought an older house in town.
More to prove that I could. My older brother got the family home.
I wanted to prove I didn't need family. But I wasn't ready to live back in my home town and so I ran up here to the mountains. That is where I found the Ridge Riders.
Maybe if I was more like my brother. Maybe then I would have a house and a job and I might meet Sadie walking down the street one day.
I'd take her out to a nice dinner. I'd take her back to my place and make love to her all night in a big bed in my big house.
But that is all a dream. It's always going to be a dream. I've never been like my brother.
Instead we are here in my tiny cabin that is falling apart, just like my life.
And then there is Malcolm and the gang. I will lay down my life to protect Sadie but would that even be enough.
Every time I think of the danger, of the way Malcolm looked at her.
It makes my stomach churn and my chest tighten.
After checking on Sadie’s 4WD, she mentions she is missing a lens from her camera and we head up into the hay loft of the barn to look for it. It’s warm up here. Dark While looking, Sadie starts asking questions.
"What happened to you, Kane? How did you end up out here?"
I shrug. It's a question I don't like to examine too carefully. But then she says, "I always thought you had so much promise."
I stare at her for a moment. Those words almost hurt.
It's not something I ever heard growing up.
I was too wild. Too reckless. Not smart enough.
Nothing compared to my brother. But looking into Sadie's eyes I can see that she means it.
While she was is younger than me, we were often paired together.
Both our older brothers were the same age.
And when I was jumping off roofs, climbing trees, being wild.
..Sadie was usually right there with me.
Grinning up at me like we were having the time of our lives.
Every time I acted out she tried to out do me.
"What about you? " I ask. "Do you like what you do?"
She nods and grins. "I love animals. I like that I don't have to dress up and pretend to be something I'm not.
And I love photography. But it's a lot of traveling around.
Lately I've felt like I might want to settle down.
Maybe even back in Starfall Valley. It would be nice to have something that feels like home. "
I nod. Her words hitting hard. Is that what I'm doing?
Playing dress up? Pretending to be something I'm not?
I shake it off. I hope Sadie gets everything she wants.
She deserves a beautiful house and a happy life.
It would be nice to know it works out for someone.
I just have to get her out of this situation alive.
It's at that moment that I hear the roar of a motorbike coming closer.
Pulling Sadie down next to me, I indicate for her to keep quiet and she nods.
Through a small hole in the wall I watch as Malcolm parks up in front of my cabin.
He walks up and pounds on the door as Sadie and I sink down further into the hay, trying not to move.
Not to make a sound. After waiting a long, heart racing minute, I watch as Malcolm looks around and then leaves.
He probably wants to know if I'm in for the planned heist or not.
And what I've done with Sadie. I grip her tighter, fear running through me at the thought of Malcolm getting anywhere near her.
I have to protect her. I have to keep her safe.
It's been a long, long time since I cared about anything.
But I care about Sadie. More than I should.
And being this close to her is doing things to me.
Putting thoughts in my head I have no right to be thinking.
But still, even with the danger gone, I can't bring myself to let her go.