6. Felicity
SIX
FELICITY
Istill feel him against my lips hours later. Even after two glasses of wine, dinner in town, and a thousand different things that keep me off kilter, his kiss is the only thing that keeps me present. His touch, though, grounds me, and there is no way to escape.
Exhaustion weighs heavily in the back of my mind.
It feels like the day happened in three quick flashes.
I only remember the moment we entered the courthouse, seeing the guests, and the kiss.
Everything else is a blur, and I can’t help but wonder if I’ll get those moments back or if they’ll be lost to the overwhelm forever.
“You are doing so well,” Damien whispers low in my ear. “Just a little longer.”
A pleasurable shiver rolls through me. His words have no other meaning than telling me that I’m doing well putting up with his brother’s antics, but my mind wanders to all the other possible meanings they could have.
No, stop right now, I tell myself. Not happening.
The last thing I want to do is to think about him in any sort of sexual way.
He is my fake husband and nothing more. He can’t be anything more, and crossing that line would only get me hurt.
I don’t think Damien is capable of feeling any other sort of way towards me, anyway.
It’s not like he’ll want to give this a chance, and I can’t give up my body without giving up my heart.
I press my lips together to stop from responding, but my body wants to betray me already, the feeling worsening once his hand lands on my knee. I know he’s trying to offer me comfort and stability, but all he’s doing is causing a storm of emotions to revolt within me.
“So, this is something you’ve been hiding from us for a time, I take it,” August Pembroke drawls as he leans forward in the seat across the table. “Is that why you wouldn’t be my friend?”
The blonde beside him, Sera, who has been staying at the inn since she came into town for work, smacks his chest. “Leave it alone. People are allowed to do things at their own pace.”
August shrugs as he picks up a glass tumbler full of amber liquid.
I’m not sure if it’s whiskey or something else, but he tips it back before releasing a harsh breath.
“Okay, okay. I level my questions to the man who is supposed to be my best friend and who lied to me. You accused me of feeling lonely. I thought we were in it together.”
Beside me, Damien chuckles, the hand on my knee tightening. I almost jump out of my chair when he moves his hand further up to grip my thigh. When I chance a look at him, his gaze is on his friend. It doesn’t even look like he knows what he’s doing to me.
“You never asked me how I was feeling, first of all,” Damien says, picking up his third glass of wine. “And we wanted to lay low. You know what it’s like.”
“I wouldn’t have sold the story,” August replies, rolling his eyes. “You know that.”
“Yes, but you have a way of letting little things slip when we tell you not to,” Callahan, the harsher of the group, says as he moves to the seat beside August. All I know about him is he’s the business manager, and he now has a daughter.
Her introduction, along with him meeting her mother, really softened him compared to the man I first met.
“Exactly,” Damian replies as he sits back, the hand moving further up my thigh.
I stiffen, suddenly unable to breathe. “Excuse me, I need a bit of air,” I say—or squeak, really. The attention of everyone at the table falls on me, but that only makes my need to run more desperate.
Somehow, I find the strength to push Damien’s hand off my thigh and stand. Glancing at him, I catch the furrow of his brows and the confusion that darkens his eyes, but any explanation I could give sounds crazy in my own head.
I only barely survived the very public wedding in front of all his friends.
Only a small handful of people I knew had been there, the complete opposite of what I imagined for myself if I ever chose to one day marry.
I’d wanted my own friends there, though I suppose this wasn’t part of either of our plans.
A lump forms in my throat as I move through the dining room of the inn towards the back door. There are some muffled words behind me, though I don’t look back to know if they’re talking about me or if the chair scraping back is someone trying to follow.
I breathe in the warmed summer evening once I’m outside and bask in the sunset for a moment. The mountains in the distance are already shrouded in a cover of darkness, their snow-capped peaks hidden by the night sky.
At least someone went and packed away the chairs. My garden is exactly how I left it this morning, which is more than a relief. I can’t imagine having to then pack away a ceremony I didn’t even want.
But this is exactly how you saw yourself getting married. Tears burn my eyes as I lean against the railing lining the back porch. Getting married in my garden is exactly how I would have done it, especially under the arch.
A hand presses gently against my upper arm, the touch making me shudder. Except when I turn, it’s not Damien standing behind me.
Bradshaw offers me a polite smile as he drops his hand and rests both on the railing. “I want to apologise for my part in the ceremony,” he starts, looking out over the garden. “I will be honest; it was a test. Though I can see by your expressions throughout the day, you know that.”
I sigh. “Yeah.”
“You know about the inheritance clause then?”
“What would be the point in lying? Damien and I tell each other everything,” I reply, the lie bitter on my tongue, but so easy to tell. “He told me as soon as he learned the truth.”
Bradshaw nods slowly as he leans his elbows on the railing. “And what do you think?”
“I think the inevitable happened,” I tell him, copying his stance. “And I’m not saying that to make either of us feel better. I just think, considering how things go, we would have gotten married. It just would have been more on our terms, and not yours.”
The man beside me huffs, sounding like he’s both amused and doesn’t want to admit I’m right.
Unfortunately, I know I am. “I’m not going to pretend like I’m totally okay with how today turned out, because I’m really not,” I add, keeping my voice low. “I won’t spare your feelings when mine weren’t even considered. Do you really think I wanted a ceremony with no one I loved present?”
“Of course not,” he replies, at least sounding a little guilty for his part.
“Then why force that on me?” I ask, locking eyes on him.
His expression doesn’t reveal anything, though I shouldn’t be surprised.
I’m pretty sure lawyers are trained to keep everything close to the chest, including how they’re feeling, and this man doesn’t strike me as the kind who would admit fault easily.
“We weren’t lying about the fact we wanted to wait so we could plan something we both wanted.
But we also wanted to make this official, so the validity of our relationship wouldn’t be called into question.
” I look away with a sigh. Another lie that both feels wrong and yet right.
“I don’t want something happening to either of us and having to defer to someone else in case of care.
What if there was an accident? Being together isn’t enough when it could mean life or death. ”
“When my first wife was just my fiancé, she had an accident. It was a silly fall and she needed some stitches, but she had lost consciousness for a moment. I wasn’t allowed in the room or to know anything about her status and it had infuriated me.
So, yes, I do understand that sentiment,” he tells me.
“Damien already told you I’m a private person,” I murmur, looking away.
“I don’t like being the centre of attention, and I know that’s what I just signed up for by marrying him.
But for a little while, we just wanted to be Felicity and Damien, existing in a world where we could wake up together and live in peace.
Where he could find me after his morning run in the garden and help me carry everything into the kitchen, and we spend our days exploring Willow Ridge together. ”
My throat tightens with an emotion I can’t identify, one that has me wondering if that life I’m lying about could ever be real. Or be mine.
“I think it is time for my wife and I to retire,” Damien says as he exits the inn. “Felicity?”
I look between Bradshaw and Damien before sighing. “Good night.”
Bradshaw bows his head with a knowing smile. “Congratulations again. And don’t let us keep you up. I’m sure there are plenty of other things you would prefer to be doing now.”
My cheeks heat with understanding. Oh, no.
Somehow, it just keeps getting worse.