Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
T he feeling of Danielle pressed against his body seemed seared to Zach’s skin. Every point of contact was still tingling even after he let her go. His heart pounded as he watched her cut the damaged portion of the wall away. It was taking every ounce of self-control not to reach out and take her in his arms again.
To kiss her like he wanted to.
Fisting his hands, he forced all those thoughts and feelings from his mind. Why he was even allowing them to plague his mind, he didn’t know. Hadn’t he learned from his past mistakes? She was not his. She would never be his. Not eight years ago and not now. The sooner he got that through his head, the better.
Danielle turned, giving him a small smile. A curl had escaped from her hair. His stomach lightened as he took her in. She was beautiful. More beautiful than any memory he had replayed for years after she left.
“This isn’t so bad,” she said.
Zach nodded as he stepped toward her, desperate to do something. It was killing him to just stand there and stare. “Yeah. You’re a natural,” he said just as the last chunk of drywall was removed.
Her cheeks flushed as she stepped back, allowing him room to work. After pulling off the damaged portion, he gathered the pieces and brought them out to the hall. After leaning them against the wall, he turned to find her standing behind him with a few smaller pieces in her hands. Her eyes widened as he stared down at her.
“I, um…” Her voice trailed off as she lowered her gaze. Then she set the pieces down next to the pile he’d just created and moved toward the bathroom.
Zach cursed his pounding heart and swirling thoughts. What was the matter with him? He needed to get his head on straight.
Back in the bathroom, he measured the hole and then focused on cutting the sheetrock. Once the piece was ready, he brought it into the bathroom and set it against the wall. Perfect fit.
Turning, he motioned to the drill and screws that were sitting on the counter. “Can you grab those for me?” he asked.
Danielle nodded and brought them over. She crouched down next to him, looking as if she didn’t know what to do.
“Get a screw and drill and secure the drywall to the stud,” he said, trying to still his heart as it pounded in his chest. She was so close that he could smell her coconut shampoo as she shifted to get a better look at what he was motioning to.
Zach cleared his throat as he pushed his feelings down.
It was pure torture squatting down next to her, securing the drywall. Once it was done, he stood and stepped away. Danielle seemed to have the same desire because she moved just as fast as he did.
“I think I’ve got it covered from here,” he said, giving her a small smile and hoping that she wouldn’t fight him.
Danielle just nodded and excused herself. Her cheeks were flushed and Zach couldn’t help but hope that it was because of him. That she might be feeling the same for him as he felt for her.
After the drywall was taped and mudded, Zach washed his hands and put away his tools. He flipped off the light as he left the bathroom. Not sure where to go, he made his way into the living room where Danielle was curled up on an oversized chair. A book was lying on her chest and her eyes were closed.
Her hair was splayed out around her and Zach couldn’t help but stare at how dainty her nose looked or how pale her skin was against her dark eyelashes.
Realizing that he was staring a bit too long, Zach turned and made his way into the kitchen to find a glass for water. After it was filled, he downed it. Just as he set the glass down on the counter, he heard a noise behind him.
Turning—and expecting to see Danielle there—he was surprised when he was met with the dark eyes and blond hair of Jesse. He was tall for a six-year-old. His curious expression peeking up at him.
“Who are you?” he asked.
Zach coughed at the directness of Jesse. He didn’t have a lot of experience with little kids. He folded his arms and leaned against the counter. “I’m here to help with your bathroom,” he said.
Jesse turned and glanced in the direction of the bathroom. “That’s Roger’s job.”
Confused Zach leaned forward. “Who’s Roger?”
Jesse shrugged. “The guy that fixes our house.”
Zach nodded. “Okay.”
Jesse studied him and Zach felt as if he would melt under his scrutiny. Not sure what to do, he gave Jesse a smile.
“Can you reach that cupboard?” Jesse asked, nodding toward the cupboard above the refrigerator.
Zach glanced over and then back to Jesse. “Yeah, why?”
Jesse gave him a big grin. “Mom lets me have a piece of candy after lunch. Do you think you could get one down for me?”
Zach peeked over at Danielle who was still asleep. “How about we go out for some ice cream and let your mom sleep a bit longer?”
Jesse’s eyes lit up as he nodded. “Okay,” he said, rushing over to the door to grab his sandals and slip them on.
Zach grabbed his wallet and the two of them were outside the apartment within just a few minutes. They walked down the hall toward the elevator. The air was sticky and hot and Zach couldn’t help but notice the tiny window air conditioning unit that was barely working much less expelling out cool air.
Once they were in the elevator, Zach glanced down at Jesse who was bouncing on his toes as he pushed the first floor button and the doors slid close.
“Do you play any sports?” Zach asked. With this kid’s energy, he knew if Jesse wasn’t, he needed to be.
Jesse shrugged. “Mom’s too busy. She tries. I know it makes her sad.” There was a moment of silence in the elevator as Jesse got a far off look in his eye. Then just as quickly as it came, it passed, and he was back to fidgeting.
Zach wanted to say something. It broke his heart seeing this little boy look upset. Zach had always been a fixer growing up. That was probably why he was always passed over. Isaac would reel the girls in and Zach would be the one to pick up their broken hearts.
The elevator doors opened and Zach and Jesse stepped out into the foyer. Zach had to call Jesse back a few times as they walked down the sidewalk toward Ivonna Cone Parlor. He held open the door and ushered Jesse into the cool air-conditioning.
It took a while for Jesse to pick what he wanted and Zach ordered after him. Once the ice cream was handed to them, Zach paid and then motioned for Jesse to follow him to the table. They sat in silence, each devouring their ice cream. Jesse finished his bubble gum and superman mixture in just a few minutes, his lips and cheeks were dyed blue.
Zach smiled at him as he reached over and pulled some napkins out of the dispenser on the table. After motioning to Jesse’s face, Jesse took them and attempted to wipe the ice cream off, but failed. Smeared blue ice cream streaked across his cheek, but he didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he crumpled up the napkin and dumped it into his now empty bowl.
Zach shook his head as he finished his ice cream. Should he help Jesse? It was what he’d seen most parents do, but he wasn’t Jesse’s parent. Would it be weird for him to reach over and wipe it off?
Going with not wanting it to be weird, Zach just let it go. He turned his focus to Jesse. He didn’t know why, but for some reason, he wanted to know more about the kid. The fact that he’d been such a big part of Danielle’s life during the time she’d been gone, caused him to wonder what she’d been up to.
“Are you excited to start school in the fall?” Zach asked, leaning back and folding his arms across his chest.
Jesse looked up at him and shrugged. “School stinks.”
Zach studied him. He wondered what grade Jesse was in. “It’s not too bad.”
Jesse wrinkled his nose. “Yes it is. It’s boring and they give too much homework.”
Zach couldn’t remember any of his elementary years much less the amount of homework that was handed out. So, he just shrugged. “I’m sure they’ll go light on you. You’re in what, first grade?”
Jesse bawked at him. “No. I’m going into fourth grade.”
It was Zach’s turn to look stunned. Jesse must be a prodigy if he was going into fourth grade at six years old. “You are?”
Jesse gave him an annoyed look. “I’m eight.”
Zach paused, trying to digest what he’d just said. “You’re eight?”
Jesse nodded. “Yeah.”
Zach tried to remember what Danielle had said and he was pretty sure she’d said that Jesse was six. But why wouldn’t Danielle know how old her son was? Instead of trying to figure that out, he just shook his head. She’d probably just been so exhausted that she’d forgotten. He couldn’t count how many times his parents had called him Isaac or vise versa.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll like fourth grade,” he said, drawing his attention back to Jesse who was staring at the arcade in the back of the store. A slow smile spread across Zach’s lips as he nodded toward the arcade. “Wanna go play some games?”
Jesse didn’t answer, instead, he leapt from the booth and started making his way toward a racing game on the far end. Zach chuckled as he picked up their dishes and discarded them in the garbage before making his way over to Jesse.
He wasn’t sure how long they played games, but when he glanced out the front windows to see the setting sun, he realized it must have been hours. He glanced down at his watch to see that it was almost seven o’clock. Realizing that he never left a note for Danielle, he figured they should probably get back before she panicked.
He walked over to Jesse who was killing zombies and clapped him on the shoulder. “Come on, bud. We should get back.”
Jesse let out a groan but then nodded as he finished killing the last zombie and returned the gun to the holster on the side. “Can we come back here tomorrow?” Jesse asked as Zach motioned for him to follow and they walked to the front door together.
Zach chuckled as he held open the door and Jesse walked through. “Um, maybe. I’ve got some things to do, but I’ll check with your mom.”
Jesse’s shoulders slumped at the mention of Danielle. Zach studied him. “What’s wrong?”
Jesse jumped over a large crack in the sidewalk and sighed. “Mom doesn’t like me playing those games. She thinks it makes me hyper.”
Zach swallowed. That wasn’t something he wanted to hear. Would she be mad at him that he took Jesse to the arcade? He was already tip-toeing around her and now this?
“Maybe we’ll keep today as our little secret,” he said, glancing down at Jesse. “And maybe, I’ll take you to a field and we can throw a ball around, you know, to help balance you out.”
Jesse got a contemplative look on his face and then he nodded. “Okay. That sounds like fun.”
Zach reached out and tousled Jesse’s hair. For only having spent the afternoon with him, Zach was beginning to like this kid. He was sweet and kind and Danielle was doing an amazing job raising him. And then the thought of the deadbeat dad who left the two of them caused heat to prick at the back of his neck. What kind of father just abandons his family like that?
He shook his head to help dispel those thoughts as he held open the front door of the apartment complex. He ushered Jesse through and over to the elevator. Jesse looked tired and small. He was just a kid, the blue streak of ice cream across his face only solidified that fact.
By the time they got to the apartment door, Jesse was dragging. Zach turned the door handle and swung open the door. Just as he stepped into the apartment, Danielle’s very red and very angry face greeted them.
“Where have you been?” she asked, bypassing Zach and rushing to Jesse where she pulled him into a hug. Jesse murmured something in protest, but Danielle didn’t seem to hear him. Instead, she looked over at Zach with death in her eyes. “Why did you take my son and not leave a note?”
Regret settled in Zach’s stomach from the panicked look in her gaze. She’d been worried about Jesse, and Zach had been an idiot to not only take her son, but not leave a note.
The extremely blonde haired girl from the other day came walking into the room from the bedrooms. Her gaze ran over Zach and she gave him an appreciative look. Then, she looked over at Danielle who was still hugging Jesse. “Hey, you found him,” she said, giving them a thumbs up.
Danielle shot her an annoyed look but the girl didn’t seem to notice. Instead, she walked over to Zach and extended out her hand. “Sunny,” she said.
Zach met her hand and shook it. “Zach.”
A strange giggle mixed with a snort emerged from her lips. “I know,” she said, her cheeks hinting pink.
Zach just nodded, not sure where to go with that.
Sunny glanced from him over to Danielle who had ushered Jesse over to the sink and turned on the water. She was wetting a paper towel and wiping his face with it.
“Good job, stealing him,” Sunny said, nodding toward Jesse.
Feeling uncomfortable, Zach shook his head. “I didn’t—I mean, that wasn’t my intention.”
Sunny held up her hand as she shook her head. “Oh no, I’m not saying that. It’s good. Danielle is way too over-protective. She needs a little shock sometimes.”
Zach watched Danielle and Jesse, he doubted that’s what Danielle needed as an alone and single mom, but he wasn’t sure if it was his place to tell Danielle what she needed.
When he turned his attention over to Sunny, he saw her observing him. “Danielle told me that you guys have a history,” she said in a matter-of-fact manner.
Zach pushed his hand through his hair. “Oh yeah?”
Sunny nodded. “Yep.” Then she steadied her gaze as she stared at him. “Some heavy stuff went down.”
That was putting it lightly. But he wasn’t sure where to go with that so he just nodded. “Yeah.”
Danielle pushed Jesse in the direction of his room, telling him to get dressed in his pajamas and then turned to the two of them. She kept her gaze away from Zach as she approached. “Thanks for coming over Sunny. I’m okay now.”
Sunny nodded and then looked from Zach over to Danielle. “Sounds good. If you need me for anything else.” Then she leaned over to Zach and whispered, “Remember, she could stand to be uncomfortable.”
Zach glanced over at her but she was smiling at Danielle and making her way toward the door. “Good bye, Jesse,” she called toward his room as she pulled open the door and stepped out into the hall.
Once the door was shut, Danielle turned to Zach, her lips pinched into a hard line as lines of stress and worry streaked her face. “I think you should go,” she said, walking over to the door and pulling it back open.
Zach’s lips parted as he stared at her. “Danielle—” he started, but Danielle just held up her hand.
“I think it’s better if we just keep things professional from here on out.” She met his gaze and the pain that resided there almost took his breath away. He’d never meant to hurt her and the fact that she looked so upset was killing him inside.
He was the fixer and it was taking all of his strength not to pull her close and fix whatever pain she was holding inside. Then he realized, if that were true, he needed to leave. She wanted him to go and he should respect that. So he made his way over to the bathroom and retrieved his tools and supplies and made his way over to the door.
Danielle was standing next to it with her arms crossed in front of her. She was staring hard at the ground when he approached.
He paused, hoping she’d look up at him, but she didn’t. Not wanting to leave her mad, he leaned toward her, hoping his advances would come off more playful than anything.
“I’m really sorry,” he said. The depth of his tone surprised even him.
She shrugged and her eyes swept up to meet his. “I know.”
They held each other’s gaze for a moment. He wanted to know that she believed what he’d said. She swallowed and then motioned toward the door. “I’ll email you about the next meeting.”
Zach nodded and then took a few steps before turning back to her. “Jesse is a great kid. You’ve done a good job.”
Danielle’s lips parted as if she hadn’t expected him to say that. She studied him for a moment and then nodded. “Thanks.”
The air hung heavy as the silence engulfed him. Realizing that this was her way of shutting him out, he smiled and made his way into the hall.
“Bye Zach,” she whispered and then the heavy sound of her door shutting filled the air.
Now alone, Zach let out his breath and tipped his face toward the ceiling. He stared at the discolored popcorn texturing as he contemplated knocking on her door and demanding that she speak to him. That he wasn’t going to let her shut him out one more time.
But, he knew that the only motivation for that was a selfish one and he didn’t want to be that kind of guy. If he was different, and wanted to show her that, he needed to move forward on her terms.
Even if it felt as if it might kill him, that’s what he needed to do. Because if he loved her—which he was pretty sure he still did—he needed to show her. And if she needed a man to go slow, then he’d be that for her.