Chapter 26
Nicole
“Here,” the officer said, handing me his card.
I glanced over my shoulder.
The motel was dead silent. No voices. No one in sight. Nobody wanted any contact with the police. Not a single door had cracked open when the police arrived—not even a curious peek. Except for the man’s door. The one the police had kicked in when he refused to open it.
Apparently, there was a warrant out for his arrest—for drug trafficking.
He shot me hateful glares as the officers dragged him across the parking lot. They shoved him into the back of the patrol car and slammed the door shut.
The woman was already in an ambulance. Most likely just drunk, they said, but they wanted to take her to a hospital just in case.
The ambulance drove off. I watched it disappear and put the card in my pocket.
“Call us if you remember anything else,” the young officer said. His face looked tired and bored, as if at the end of his shift.
He turned and walked back to the patrol car with the man in the back, who was grousing about something as the officer got in. Probably professing his innocence.
I walked back to my car too. The seat was cold when I slid in, and I couldn’t help but feel like I had failed Lacey.
No red truck.
No Myers.
Exhaustion settled deep in my bones. The kind that made me want to sleep for days. For a second, the idea of getting a room nearby almost won. Just sleep. Just stop.
But the kids needed me.
And after missing my visit with Lacey, I needed to see them too. Even if it meant driving another hour. So I drove to Amanda’s.
By the time I pulled into the driveway, it was pitch black. Only the narrow path to the back door was lit, small solar lights glowing softly.
The night smelled like the nearby ocean. It helped get the booze and urine stench out of my nose.
I had almost walked all the way up to the back door when my steps slowed. I looked through the large windows and saw Brian sitting at the dinner table.
When did Brian get here?
The kids were there too. With Amanda. All of them gathered around the dining table. Amanda rushed into the kitchen, grabbing a steaming bowl of something. I couldn’t make out what it was.
There they were, sitting together like a family.
Lila and Ethan looked completely content, leaning toward each other. Dylan didn’t smile as much, but he looked a hell of a lot better than he had in weeks.
The kids had missed Amanda. And Brian had missed her too. She had been a part of this family for so long. Her absence was a great loss to us.
I was about to knock but froze.
Was I even welcome here? Somehow, it seemed like I was the person connecting them to Lacey. Like I would drag murder and grief into a peaceful house.
So I stayed where I was. Watching. Maybe a minute. Maybe five. Ten. I didn’t know.
Then Dylan pulled out his phone. Fingers moving across the screen.
A moment later, my cell vibrated.
A text. From Dylan.
Where are you? Is everything all right?
I typed back.
Yes. Everything is fine. Just busy.
The dots appeared. Disappeared. Appeared again.
Did you see Mom? She doing okay?
I’d never lied like this before. But that was before I had grandkids asking about their dying mother in jail.
Yes. She’s looking good. She even smiled at me.
Even from here, I could see the smile on Dylan’s face.
I’ll stay the night at the house, I texted. Too tired to drive back to get you. Is that okay?
Yeah, sure, he wrote back. Love you.
He slipped the phone into his pocket and turned back to the table.
I turned and walked back to the car. The door shut with a thud. It was strange, but I felt happiness. Not for me—for the kids. They had laughed again. Had a proper dinner—even if it was only for a night. It was some kind of normal life again.
But then sadness pressed in just as hard.
For Lacey.
For myself.
For them too.
I started the car and drove back to Lacey’s house. By now, it was the only place I had. I’d sold my own house. Every dollar had gone to legal fees, to keeping the kids fed, to keeping the lights on while Brian was out of work.
The street was quiet when I pulled up. The reporters were gone. No cameras. No voices calling out questions. After weeks of silence on our end, even the most stubborn ones had finally given up.
The door creaked as I opened it, and my hand lifted toward the light switch.
But then my phone vibrated in my pocket.
Dylan again?
Detective Nolan?
The bright white screen lit up the entryway from an unknown local number.
I answered. “Hello?”
The sound hit first. Crying, high and panicked. Kids. And, beneath it, a woman sobbing so hard she could barely breathe.
“Is this Nicole?” The voice was hard to hear over the crying kids in the background.
I knew instantly who it was. Mrs. Dustin.
“Yes!”
“It’s Sam. Billy’s wife. We met at the playground.”
“What happened?”
A shaky breath. More crying in the background.
“Um … I don’t know who else to call. I’m so sorry.”
“No. No, it’s fine. What happened?”
“Can … can you come get us?”
“Yes. Of course. Are you safe? Is he there?”
“No. He left to get cigarettes.”
“Good. Do you have your car and car keys?”
“Yes.”
“Listen to me. Get in your car right now and meet me at the playground.”
“But I can’t just take the kids away from him.”
“Yes, you can. Grab your kids. Now. And meet me there as soon as you can.”
More crying followed.
“Leave now. You hear me?”
No answer.
“Sam. Take the kids and leave. Do it for them. For you. And for him too, if you have to. Otherwise, nothing will change. If he really loves you, he’ll put in the work. Maybe he’ll be one of the few abusers out there who actually changes. But only if you stop putting up with this.”
A long pause. Breathing. Sniffling.
“I’ll meet you there,” she finally said. The line went dead.
I was about to leave, when a sharp pain hit my chest. It spread quickly and cut off my air. For a second, I thought I was having a heart attack. But then I remembered this feeling, from a long time ago. When I found out I was pregnant with Lacey at only seventeen.
It was panic. Raw and uncontrollable. I was having a panic attack.
“Not now, Nicole,” I scolded myself and clutched my chest. “Stop it. Not now!”
I slammed the door shut behind me and hurried back to the car.
The plan formed quickly. Playground first. I had to get them somewhere safe.
And after that, I would do the one thing I dreaded more than anything else.
But I needed help.
And doing this alone wasn’t possible anymore.