21. Cass
CASS
PLAYLIST: IN THE END – LINKIN PARK
Irace past her with full power. It will be a tight game we play, because right now, we have every single cop hunting us once more. We are many; we can divide, but the call is as close as it can be.
But, we don’t leave family on their own, even if they massively fuck up.
Like her.
Like me.
I take over, because this is my hood, and she lets me, against all I prepared for.
Even she must realize how close this is.
I know how to disappear here. She is an excellent driver; I knew it from the moment she beat me, and learned how good she is after that stunt she pulled leaving earlier.
There are only three people who can pull off a move like that, and she is one of them.
She is one of the people who pulled off what she did alone, climbing on that damn building alone and risking everything for it. For helping me find peace. And I will not let her ride it out alone, as much as I want to hate her right now.
We dash up Park Avenue; I’m avoiding any small streets, so we have room to breathe. Four more cops are joining the tail of lights we have behind us, and we have to avoid them with a risky maneuver across the lines as one of the cops shoots out of the side street and nearly bumps into me.
We drift around the corner onto 125th Street leading into Harlem in such a close call that I hold my breath. One crossing car nearly hits Addy’s back.
We are faster than any cop car, drive riskier than anything, and yet, we are at a disadvantage, because the cops coordinate.
Two cars block the 125th, and we are forced to wiggle through a small window, half over the sidewalk into Manhattan Avenue, causing a dangerous thud in my front axle.
Manhattan Avenue is leading us back downtown. My plan was to get lost upstate before they can close it, but it’s not working. Not like this.
I grab my phone and dial her number.
“We’re going ninety degrees right and ninety left on the third,” I tell her quickly. “Don’t go straight or you won’t make that corner. Do the thing you’re best at.”
I know she grins right now without seeing her.
“I’m proud of what you did,” I add, and then I need to focus on driving for a second, so I throw the phone in my lap.
We drift around the first corner; she is pulling off the move she perfected, and I simply admire the skill.
The way she lands it is a perfect line—pulls it into the left drift so effortlessly, and then we’re on Columbus Avenue.
We wiggle through the three lanes of the one-way Avenue.
“I’m sorry,” she says as we shoot with 138mp/h down Columbus. An entire party of red-blue flashing lights behind us.
I ignore her. I’m not in any mood to talk about what happened, and a damn sorry won’t change it. Right now, we have to get out of here.
Every single traffic light is green, as if God is leading the way to justice, freeing the way for us.
We reach the spot we first raced, leading up to the perfect getaway of Lincoln Square.
“Let’s get lost,” I tell her. “We’re taking the Jersey escape; Red Hook is too hot right now.”
“You lead,” she says.
I lead.
We reach the crossing of Lincoln Square with Broadway. The lights are red.
A strange sensation flushes through my chest.
Cars crossing.
It is such a close call.
I manage to squeeze through two cabs with a touch-and-go.
I check the rear mirror, and it is happening in slow motion.
A truck crossing—
It is too close.
No.
She can’t do anything about it.
I hear the horrifying sound of crushed metal through the speaker of the phone as the truck hits her side.
The car spins.
Rolls over and flips many times.
“NOOOOOOOOO!” I scream as I realize where we are and what happened.
The Eleanor stays put on its roof, completely destroyed.
I jump out of the car and run to her.
The cage, please the cage—
Chunks of metal and motor parts lie around as I reach her. Gasoline is leaking; I can smell it as the scent bites my nose and eyes.
I’m at her window.
“ADDY!” I shout as I lean into the broken window. I kick it out.
The world around me has completely disappeared.
There is blood everywhere.
Her eyes are closed as she dangles lifeless in the racing belts, he hands on the roof.
But her chest…her chest is moving.
“ADDY! FUCKING ANSWER ME!” I shout as I lay on my back and crawl headfirst into the car.
A burning pain shoots over my back. But I don’t care.
I crawl farther in so I can kick off the deformed door.
It flies open.
“ADDY!” I shout again as I crawl underneath her until my head is directly under hers. I am fumbling on the belt, but with her weight on them—
“Addy, please,” I whisper. Tears are streaming down my face at this point.
And then she looks at me.
Her one hand brushes over my cheek.
A weak smile.
“I’m so sorry,” she says faintly.
“Don’t,” I tell her softly, still working on the belt.
“I messed up,” she says with a fading voice. “Now we’re all fucked.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I say. “Can you push yourself off the roof?”
“I’m so sorry,” she says again, her eyelids flickering.
I cup her face.
“I’m not,” I say. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now. Fight, Addy. Fight.”
And then, a loud explosion erupts, rolling through my chest with pressure first.
Everything is distorted; my ears hum.
Flames around us.
I am not getting her out.
But I also won’t be leaving her.
So I just kiss her.
“It was always ride or die,” I say. “We rode. And now we can finally die.”
It’s okay to end like this.
I close my eyes.
I am dying with her.
And she with me.
Things can finally rest.
It’s peaceful.
The first time I felt peace in forever.
Because nothing matters.
Nothing I know, nothing that will be or could have been. The only thing that matters is being right here with her.
And then, I am pulled away, out of the car.
“NOOOOOOOO!” I scream, trying to fight whoever is pulling me.
I kick.
I roar.
I am not going to be rescued. I am going to die with her.
Flames are everywhere.
I am dragged away over concrete.
Someone handles me.
A blanket is thrown over me.
No. No. No.
My body acts on its own accord with power I didn’t know I had.
I turn—see the Eleanor in flames, with her inside.
A scream I don’t register as my own escapes my throat.
I fight myself onto my knees.
Run to her.
Someone grabs me with arms around me.
I need to get to her—
She can’t die—
Not without me—
I scream.
And scream with tears streaming down my cheeks.
Nothing matters except getting to her.
I hit whoever is holding me with my elbows.
Kick.
Wiggle myself out of the grip.
Run to her.
Into the flames.
Because nothing else matters.
Nothing, but her.