Chapter Eleven
Madison
As soon as he left the room she rushed to the pantry and shut the door, leaning against it and covering her face with her hands.
Why? Why had she thought this would be a good idea?
The lies were stacked ten feet deep it seemed like and Kyle didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Now he knew that she was lying to him, at least about having a baby.
He must have heard Em over the phone, though she thought she had hung up fast enough.
Did he suspect that she was lying about other things too? Was he thinking about firing her?
The food wouldn’t wait while she had a meltdown, so she washed her hands and went back to work. She mixed up the horseradish sauce and coated the vegetables with it before tossing them into the oven for an hour and a half. They would be done when the corned beef was.
She decided to make some cornbread to go with everything and got out two large iron skillets for it.
While she mixed it up and let the pans heat for the batter, she thought about her husband…her dead husband. Sometimes it still startled her to think about, to think that he just didn’t exist in the world anymore.
Rob hadn’t been a very good husband or father, but he hadn’t deserved to die. He’d tried to do right by the children at least.
In the end, it didn’t matter. He was dead and they all had to suffer the consequences of his actions.
His parents had always shunned her though it was worse now that he was gone. Aside from the occasional polite calls when they wanted to talk to the kids, they spoke down to her and demanded to see their grandchildren at least once a month. Rob’s mother was the mouthpiece, but his father was just as conniving.
She couldn’t bear to let them keep the children without her there. It made her uneasy.
Theymade her uneasy.
Once, when she was pregnant and miserable, they offered her money in exchange for allowing the kids to come for a weekend. They even dared to suggest that she wean Emmie so that they could keep her overnight as if she’d ever allow her baby out of her sight that long, and in their care.
She tried to ignore their calls once after Em was born, but they ended up calling the police, who were forced to do a wellness check.
She was fragile in those early days, and the incident both scared her and made her angry.
Now, she grudgingly answered their calls but blocked their efforts at visiting whenever she could. She was worried they wouldn’t be content with the situation much longer, though she had high hopes that they’d just give up.
She timed the food as she worked to mix up frosting for the large sheet cake that was cooling on the counter. She was using a cookbook she’d brought from home. Helen had a neverending supply of the things and she was sorry that she’d teased her about it now. She was probably going to be borrowing them a lot.
She took out the beverages and the glasses, then rang the chimes and put a stack of plates on the serving cart, along with silverware and napkins.
She heard the low tones of the men talking in the other room and realized that she enjoyed it. It made her feel less alone even if she wasn’t a part of it directly. She’d felt so isolated since Rob died and she was left alone with the kids.
The conversation became louder for a moment as the door opened and then closed.
As she was slicing the corned beef, a man that she’d only seen once before came in. He was missing a hand and his eyes were darkly shadowed. He didn’t smile and his face was set into stony lines. He stopped short when he saw her there before turning away quickly and reaching for the refrigerator door.
“Can I get you anything?” she asked.
He came back with a glare and a bottle of water. “I’m not hungry.”
She scanned his body under the jeans and long-sleeved t-shirt he wore. It was too hot for long sleeves but he seemed desperate to cover up his missing hand. His frame was thin and he had the hollow-eyed look of a starving man.
He needed to eat.
The buzzer went off, piercing the silence of the kitchen. The man ducked down, back against the wall, startled, and then stared at her with sweat beading his forehead. His eyes were wide and distressed.
She looked away and pretended nothing happened though inside her heart hurt for the man.
He let out a shaky breath and stomped out. She decided to make him a tray and take it up to his room. At least he could eat in peace up there if he wanted to.
She finished the meal for the others who were waiting in the dining room already—impatiently judging from the noise level. She placed the huge platter of meat and vegetables on the rolling cart, along with the wedges of cornbread and a dish of butter. She added a bowl of mustard, another with extra horseradish sauce, and some pickles before taking a calming breath and pushing through to the dining room.
It was disconcerting to have them all stop talking and stare at her, all except Kyle. He was studiously looking at a notepad in his hand.
“Talking about me, huh?” she joked, a little uneasily.
Murdock tilted his head and fixed her with a piercing stare. She felt as if he could read every thought in her head and she turned her eyes away, feeling the flush in her cheeks.
“Nah, we were just discussing things not suitable for a lady’s ears,” John said congenially.
“If you want, I could whisper them to you later,” Evans offered, breaking the tension.
She was starting to see beyond his man-whore persona and what she saw was a damaged man, perhaps in a different way than the men who came here for recuperation…but still damaged just the same.
It made her feel more protective of him than she expected. She still wasn’t going to let him get away with the flirting though.
“Nah, I’m good,” she said gently. “But you can wash dishes later if you want.”
“I think I have stuff to do later. Things. It might take me a while. Days,” he fabricated, much to the amusement of the others.
Kyle shook his head but still didn’t look at her as she placed the food on the buffet.
“Ah, well…that’s too bad,” she said with mock commiseration. “Well, gentlemen…dinner is served. Let me know if you need anything—”
Uh-uh,” she said, spinning and pointing a finger at Wyatt, who had just opened his mouth.
John and Aiden cracked up and Wyatt pouted, sitting back in his chair.
She left the room, went straight to the cabinet, and pulled out a tray and a plate. She added a few slices of corned beef and two servings of vegetables. On the side, she added pickles, cornbread, butter, and a variety of sauces. She cut a square of the frosted cake and put it on a small plate in the corner. She finished it off with a small glass of milk, forks, and a napkin.
It was heavy, but she would manage. It was no different from lugging an unwilling kid to the bathtub, or a heavy hamper of clothes to the washer.
She pushed through the employee hall door, skipped the dining room completely, and went out to the main living room.
She ascended the stairs and from the corner of her eye, she caught Kyle watching her from the head of the table in the next room. Nobody else had noticed her.
She knew Jace had been placed in the room next to Aiden. His door was closed. She shifted the tray precariously to one arm and knocked.
There was no answer.
“Jace? It’s Madison,” she said.
She waited several moments. He wasn’t going to answer the door. She turned away, upset and wondering what she could do to help if he didn’t want help. How would he get along if he walled himself off?
As she was turning to go, the door was yanked open. Jace stood there, frowning down at the tray of food.
“I didn’t want you to miss a meal,” she said gently, but firmly.
He didn’t offer to let her in, but she held her breath and decided to be bold.
She walked forward and he moved out of the way to let her pass. He watched in silence as she placed the tray on the small table near the wall. It had been moved away from the window to a nearby corner. The blinds were cracked enough to let the light in without allowing anyone to see in, but it was still dim.
She turned, wringing her hands, and didn’t know what else to say. She had no reason to stay or invade his private space now that her mission was accomplished. She stopped at the door.
“I hope you like it. I’ll come back later to get the tray.”
He said nothing as she left.
∞∞∞
Back downstairs, Kyle was waiting for her in the living room.
“That was kind,” he said, studying her.
“It’s my job to make sure everyone gets a meal,” she said simply.
“Jace is having a hard time, but I think he’ll give this place a chance once he gets used to it.”
He pushed away from the sofa and came to the stairs where she had stopped. He looked up at her.
“He needs to feel safe,” she said quietly.
Kyle smiled gently. “We all do.”
She had a feeling that he didn’t just mean Jace. He was a perceptive man.
What did he see in her? What did he make of her life? Could she trust him with the truth or at least part of it?
The part that wouldn’t get her fired?
“I have—”
Evans came into the room with a handful of meat in his fingers. “Hey, Madison, do you have any more of that horseradish sauce? That damned barbarian stole the whole bowl, just took it right out the back door to the woods with him!”
She grinned, slightly relieved that she’d been stopped before she could blurt out her life situation. “Which barbarian?”
“Murdock! The only barbarian in the house!” he complained.
“Says the man holding a fistful of beef in the living room,” she snickered and walked past Kyle to go to the kitchens. She was sure that wasn’t the end of their conversation.
Wyatt was giving her puppy dog eyes. “Sauce?”
“Yeah. I’ll bring out the cake too,” she relented.
“Sweet.”
∞∞∞
She managed to avoid talking to Kyle again for the next several days.
The bookshop was extremely busy due to a special sale they were having, so she had no time to sit and think about anything. Christian watched her occasionally with an expression that she couldn’t understand.
It seemed like an assessing kind of look, and slightly sad.
Saturday dawned much the same as every other day. It was warm, but not hot, and the shop was still teeming with people from the time it opened. Christian had set up a small stall outside with their more eclectic works which she was responsible for managing.
Farther up the street, the farmer’s market was bustling in the brilliant sunshine. Late colorful vegetables were piled high in bushel baskets and lined up neatly on tables under the bright awnings. Saturdays were one of her favorite days in Endurance.
She only wished she could bring the kids more often.
There were small booths for children and others that offered paintings, lemonade, and raffles, among other things. The holiday atmosphere was charming and it lightened her burdens a little just to be a part of it.
Christian beckoned her into his office as soon as she had hung up her purse. “Can I speak to you for a minute?”
She nodded, puzzled.
He shut the door behind them and then licked his lips, seemingly nervous. “Madison, I…there is something I want to ask you and I don’t really know how to begin.”
“At the beginning?” she suggested, amused and slightly wary.
He flashed her a rare little smile and leaned back onto his desk, studying her face. “You know I have the utmost respect for you as a…a person and a mother. You are an attractive woman and a trustworthy one. I know your situation with the house and the kids and well…I think maybe there’s a way that I can help.”
She waited.
“Well, we’ve known each other for…quite a while now. I know that I’m considerably older than you and that I’m not the most exciting person or the most handsome, but I think we could have a good life together. I would treat your children as if they were my own and I would cherish you and respect you. Would you consider becoming my wife?”
She sat down abruptly in the hard wooden chair across from him, thoughts racing through her head a mile a minute.
“I’m not wealthy, obviously, but as my wife, you wouldn’t have all the financial worries that you do now. You could have the same freedom to work or not, your choice.”
She frowned. “But what about you?”
He looked surprised. “Me?”
She nodded and he studied his hands before looking back up at her.
“Look, I’m not that great at meeting people, and when I went through my twenties and thirties and never met anyone I could see a long-term relationship with, I just gave up I guess. Like I said, I have a lot of respect for you, Madison. I like you and your companionship and partnership would mean the world to me. I think I could make you happy if you let me. Maybe you aren’t in love with me, but I think over time we could be something to each other. A comfort, at the very least.”
As far as proposals go, it was definitely a few steps up from John’s ‘you cook good meat, marry me’ and she knew Christian was serious.
The thing was, she probably could grow to love him a little. He was solid and dependable, respectable and responsible. He maybe wasn’t an overtly nice man, but he was kind—and kindness in a man was underrated. He was also selfless.
Rob hadn’t been very kind or very selfless.
But they didn’t have that spark between them—the one that made her knees weak, her heart race, and her mouth go dry. He didn’t arouse her with just a single glance.
Was that so important, in the grand scheme of things? Weren’t her children more important than passion?
Yes, they were, and that was why she didn’t turn him down right away.
“I would like to think about it for a while,” she began, licking her dry lips. “I don’t know when I can give you an answer—”
“That’s fine. The offer is always open,” he assured her. “I just wanted you to know.”
She nodded. “Well, I’d better get outside.”
He nodded, and she went about her morning with a whole new set of things to think about.
She was making change for a customer when she caught a familiar face in the crowd near the vegetable stands.
He was wearing a baseball cap, jeans, a tight navy t-shirt, and combat boots. He was watching her.
She froze, caught in his gaze until she felt someone touch her shoulder.
“I’m sorry?” she said, turning away from Kyle’s captivating face.
Christian was frowning at her. “Are you okay?”
She internally shook herself and smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Mr. Edmonds was asking you a question and you looked a little out of it. Are you sure you aren’t sick?”
She clenched the cotton skirt of her dress nervously. “I’m fine. Really. I was just thinking.” She turned to Mr. Edmonds. “I’m sorry, sir. What did you need?”
When she got a chance to look back, Kyle was gone and she felt disappointed.
She worked the rest of the morning, and by the time lunch came around she was starving and on the verge of leaking. She didn’t want to deal with the embarrassment of wet boobs in public. She desperately needed to get home to feed Em.
She pulled her purse over her shoulder and went back out to the shop where Christian waited in the doorway.
“I’ll be back in a little while,” she promised. “I left the cash box on your desk.”
He nodded and followed her out with a hand on her lower back. His slight touch startled her, though it wasn’t completely unwelcome.
“Madison?” a gruff voice called as she walked along the sidewalk to her car.
Her heart sped up and her palms went sweaty. She’d caught herself searching for him in the crowds all morning, and she’d been more disappointed than she wanted to admit when she didn’t see him again.
She pushed away her excitement and her nervousness and turned around.
Kyle was only a few feet away. He was standing next to a confused Christian. She came over, hoping something somewhat intelligent would come out of her mouth.
“I thought you left,” she said.
His lips twisted a bit into a slight smirk. “Evans tried to drag me over to Paddy’s, but I told him to get lost. John’s around here somewhere. Murdock was over feeling up the vegetables for a while.”
She laughed. “And what were you doing?”
“Getting drawn in by the charm,” he said seriously, staring at her before looking off down the street, squinted eyes shadowed under the brim of his hat.
She felt her face go red and she looked down to hide the embarrassing reaction. She was twenty-nine years old and a mother of four, and she was blushing like a schoolgirl over a comment that probably had nothing to do with her.
She felt his spark of interest though, and she told herself that it was just because he wanted answers from her. He wanted to finish their conversation from the other night.
The fact that she was practically drooling over him earlier didn’t help her composure any.
Anywoman would drool over him. He was the epitome of strength and kindness. He was gentle. It would take a lot to provoke him to violence because he knew his capabilities and how deadly they were.
Once provoked, she could only imagine the force that he could unleash. John, Calvin, Wyatt…all of them. Even Aiden was probably still capable of incapacitating someone with his bare hands.
And Jace…
Jace kind of scared her. His strength was there, but his restraint was on a knife edge. He lacked control now. She didn’t think he would purposely hurt anyone, but he wasn’t completely stable. He could overreact. She needed to remember that.
A clearing throat made her jump and she realized that she’d been staring at him for several long, awkward seconds while she’d been thinking.
“Oh. Kyle, this is Christian. Christian, this is Kyle.”
Kyle’s eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly as he looked Christian up and down. He finally nodded to him and Christian held out his hand.
“How do you know Madison?”
Kyle shook. “I’m her boss.”
Christian raised his eyebrows at her and she was about to say something when she felt the tingling in her chest again. It was past Emmie’s feeding time and she was bound to be crying by now.
She had to go, but she didn’t want to.
“I’m sorry. I’ve got to go home. My lunch break started about ten minutes ago—”
“Sorry for holding you up. I’ll see you later,” Kyle said, shooting a glance toward Christian. “Nice to meet you.”
It sounded false, as if he was saying it out of habit instead of really meaning it.
Christian nodded and then took her arm to lead her to her car after Kyle walked off. “Go ahead and take an extra fifteen or twenty minutes for lunch,” he said in an unusually warm voice.
“Thanks. I appreciate it,” she said, unlocking the car and getting in.
Christian shut her door and waved as she drove off.
As she left, she saw Kyle sitting at a café table with John. His face was hard and his eyes were cool beneath the brim of his cap. He nodded at her wave, then turned back to John immediately, who leaned in and began to speak.
She wished she’d been able to stay.
When she got home, a man was waiting for her on her front porch.
Instead of going straight into Helen’s, she walked across the yard to her own home, a feeling of dread seeping into her. The man was wearing khakis and a white polo shirt with the logo of some golf club on it.
His gray hair was neatly trimmed and he was in good shape, for an older man. His tan was fake and so was his smile.
“Mrs. Madison Lane?” he asked, though he looked as if he already knew the answer to that question.
“Yes. Who are you?”
He handed over a folder and she took it. “That’s not important. Those documents are for you. Have a good day.”
He turned and walked back to his expensive car parked in the street. She wanted to call him back and ask what it was all about, but she was afraid that all the answers she wanted were already in her hands.
Nothing good ever came of being served documents.
She opened them up, noting the legal heading at the top, and pushed them back inside the envelope.
She was being sued, and she had a terrible feeling that she knew exactly who it was and what it was for.