7. Hope
“Relationships arelike a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. ~Unknown
Shane is an enigma. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to after our shopping trip. One minute he was acting all chummy and helpful and the next, he seemed to withdraw into a shell. His mood had changed in the toothbrush aisle right after I told him about my dating sabbatical. That couldn’t have had anything to do with the flip, could it?
He hasn’t said a word since we started driving again. I suppose I don’t help matters either. All the adrenaline I’d gotten from my airport misadventure has worn off, and I suddenly feel more deflated than a popped balloon. Even the sugar I’d consumed from those delicious cookies doesn’t have any effect on me. All I can think about is how all my planning was for naught. I’ve lost Amelia’s birthday present, and I don’t have a backup plan. And the only person I have to blame is myself.
Sighing, I decide to break the ice with my deep, philosophical thought of the day. “Do you ever feel like things just don’t go the way you want them to? Like God allows things to happen to you so you have to grow? It’s like that verse from James that talks about considering it pure joy when you face trials ’cause you’re supposed to end up more mature as a result of going through them. Is that why we have to struggle so much in life?”
“Is that a rhetorical question?” His tone has a trace of humor in it as he smirks. “Because you pretty much answered it.”
“I suppose I did, didn’t I? I guess I was hoping for a different, more comforting answer.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. This is the more comforting answer. It shows that God cares about us too much to leave us alone. It’s like you and your students. I bet you push them to learn even when it’s hard for them. That’s what my favorite teacher did for me. I was a horrible student up until fourth grade when I met Ms. Archibald. She encouraged me to do better and helped me when I wanted to give up. I was a different kid after her class.”
“You know something? You surprise me every time you open your mouth.” I lean my elbow on the center console as I study Shane’s profile. His dark brown hair falls onto his forehead in a messy but attractive sort of way and his five o’clock shadow gives him a rugged edge. He’s grown into such a handsome guy, it’s hard not to stare. Especially when he’s spouting words of wisdom that are so out of place for someone his age. None of the guys I dated in my twenties were even remotely as mature. “You’re like an old man trapped inside a young man’s body.”
He scoffs softly. “I liked it better when you called me gorgeous. Old man just doesn’t have the same appeal.”
“It’s a compliment!” I insist, giving him a playful nudge with my elbow. “Trust me, girls appreciate guys who have deep thoughts. It’s unfortunately not as common as you may think.”
He glances over, his brows furrowed. His gaze lingers on me longer than I think is safe while driving, but we’re on an open highway with few cars around us. After he faces forward, he asks, “Is that the reason you’re taking time off from dating? Because you’ve been meeting guys with not-so-deep thoughts?”
“Do you really want to hear about my dating woes?”
“Sure. Who knows, I might have some useful thoughts to offer, considering how you think they’re deep and all. I also happen to understand how guys operate.”
“That’s a valid point. It would be nice to get a male perspective.”
He waves his hand as an invitation for me to speak. “Go on.”
“It’s pretty simple, actually. I’m tired of meeting guys who don’t want to settle down. There was one guy, Ned—we met at a New Year’s Eve party and dated for five weeks before he broke it off. He said things were moving too fast for him.”
“Let me guess, he ended it when you were trying to make plans for Valentine’s Day?”
“Yes! Right after I told him I’d found the perfect dress for that day. How’d you know?”
“That’s a typical non-committal move. A guy’s not going to spend Valentine’s Day with a girl he’s not interested in staying with for the long haul. It costs too much and requires too much effort in the romance department.”
“Huh, that makes sense.” Shane’s explanation is so matter of fact, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it. “How about this one? There was another guy, Fred, that I saw for almost three months. He was a long-term sub for one of the teachers on maternity leave, so we hung out practically every day. We ate lunch together and did yard duty together, too. The kids even had a ship name for us—Frope! Isn’t that cute?”
“I guess it’s cuter than Head.”
“Yeah. But the thing is, he never wanted to post pictures of us online.”
“Oh,” Shane replies knowingly. “Well, that’s easy. He saw it as a fling, so he didn’t want to broadcast it on social media. That way it’d be less messy once the subbing gig was over.”
“Really? He’d always meant for it to be temporary?”
“Did you guys ever have a talk about what your relationship status was?”
“No. I just assumed that if we had a ship name, we were official.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I groan. I’d put way too much stock into what a group of fifth graders had said instead of facing reality. I throw my head back as a terrible realization sinks in. “I can’t believe it! I’m the too-stupid-to-live character in my own story.”
“The what now?”
“The character who makes decisions that you know will have bad consequences or they keep letting bad things happen to them. It’s like they have no survival instincts. They ignore obvious red flags or keep making the same bad decision over and over again.” Embarrassment sets my cheeks on fire, despite the cool air from the vents. Since there’s nowhere to hide in this enclosed space, I do the next best thing and squeeze my eyes shut. “I can’t believe it, Shane. I’m that character who keeps falling for the wrong guys. No wonder I’ve never had a long-term relationship.”
“Hey now, don’t beat yourself up. In both of those cases, you were being trusting and hopeful. You were ready to commit, and you wanted to make those relationships work. There’s nothing stupid about that.”
“There is if I can’t tell when a guy has no interest in me.”
“I wouldn’t say no interest. They obviously were attracted to you. Nobody forced them to spend time with you. They just weren’t ready to commit.”
“Thanks for trying to make me feel better.” I wrap my arms around my torso, suddenly feeling vulnerable. “But let’s face facts. I’m not a very good judge of character and I trust too easily.”
“I wouldn’t put it that way.”
“Case in point: my missing luggage.”
“Ah, well...”
“Exactly.”
“The way I see it,” Shane drawls in his trademark lighthearted tone, “the only thing you can fault yourself with is being interested in guys whose names rhyme with the word dread.”
A chuckle bubbles out of me, followed by another, then another. I feel like a can of soda that’s been shaken and opened, allowing all its contents to spill over. Relief replaces my self-pity, and I’m left feeling thankful. Even though this vacation didn’t start out the way I’d planned, God’s been gracious to turn things around. Shane’s sense of humor is like a dose of sunshine that I have the privilege of basking in. It’s not harsh like Arizonian summers, but warm and toasty like socks fresh from the dryer.
My sides are sore and happy tears leak out onto my cheeks. I can’t remember the last time I laughed this much. As I’m catching my breath, I lift my lashes and see the huge grin lighting up Shane’s face. He’s in his element, completely at ease and looking pleased that he got me to smile.
“Okay, that was a good one. I’ve learned my lesson. From now on, I’ll be staying away from any more Neds and Freds.”
“Not to mention the Eds, Teds, and Zeds of the world. Oh, and the Jeds and Reds.”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, I got it.”
“And don’t forget about the Breads?—”
“Shaney!” My hand flies to my mouth. “My bad, that just slipped out! In my defense I plead temporary exasperation! You’re too hilarious!”
“Your plea is accepted.” He blows on the fingernails of his right hand, then rubs them against his shirt. “It’s not easy being so gorgeous and hilarious all the time. You’re making me work on this vacation. I’m going to need some sustenance soon. It’s a good thing we’re almost there.”
“We’re here?” I suddenly realize the scenery outside the car windows has changed. We’re no longer on the highway, but on some local roads, and there’s the makings of a quaint town ahead of us. “We’re here! Don’t worry, Solvang has so much yummy food, I’m sure we’ll find something good for you to eat. The best part is their bakeries. I can’t wait to try an ?bleskiver.”
“A what-ver?”
“An ?bleskiver. It’s a ball of dough the size of a tennis ball that’s fried and then topped with powdered sugar and raspberry sauce! Doesn’t that sound divine?”
He replies with a smirk, “Divine? It sounds kinda doughy.”
“Hey, no dissing it until you try it!” I grab my phone and pull up the itinerary I put together of places to visit this week. “The Danish Mill Bakery is down the road from the inn we’re staying at. Let’s go there after we check in.”
“Sure thing.”
After a few minutes of driving past a giant windmill and many buildings with colorful roofs and trims, we pull up to New Haven Inn. Its cobblestone walls and white picket fence look like something out of a storybook. The adorable vibe of this place, as well as the whole Danish village, lifts my spirits. I may have lost Amelia’s gift, but I’m sure there’s a store around here with cute merchandise. The thought of strolling the streets with a pastry in hand gives me hope that all is not lost. Having Shane by my side isn’t bad either, even if we have to share a room. I bet that if we set some guidelines, we’ll have no problem being temporary roommates.
“Let me get the door for you,” Shane insists. He’s out of the car and rounding the front of it to my side before I can object. He opens the door and offers me his hand like a perfect gentleman.
I accept it, allowing my fingers to disappear in his warm grasp. “Thank you, Shane.”
He tugs on my hand and leads me a step to the side while he closes the door. “It’s my pleasure.” His smile widens as he places one hand on the roof of the car above me and leans in. “I’ve been thinking, I don’t mind you calling me Shaney. It has a certain appeal coming from your lips.”
“Um, okay. Shaney it is.”
Goosebumps form along my arms and I have trouble swallowing. Did his voice get deeper somehow? And why is he still holding my hand? My senses are on high alert as my legs turn into sticks of Jell-O. Shane’s musky, woodsy scent invades my space, making me highly aware of his closeness. Is he leaning in for a reason? My brain’s telling me not to overthink things, that I must be imagining the unspoken tension between us. This is likely the case since I have a pretty good track record of misreading signals from the opposite sex. Also, the fact of the matter is that there is no way my best friend’s little brother would be flirting with me.
Right?