9. Hope
“I hope you know CPR,’cause you take my breath away.” ~Unknown
I am so guilty of eavesdropping. In my defense, I’m doing my best friend a favor. As soon as I heard Shane mention Ryder’s name while he was on the phone, my “watch out for Ames” radar went off.
I’m not the only gal with her share of dating problems. Except that in Amelia’s case, her issue wasn’t meeting the right man. She’d found him, all right, but her ex-fiancé kept putting the wedding off. He’d wanted to wait until he’d finished medical residency, then for his thirty-fifth birthday, and finally, for the next solar eclipse—don’t even get me started on the reasoning behind that last one. In the end, Ames got tired of waiting and called off their engagement.
So why is Shane talking to the man who broke his sister’s heart?
“You understand women,” he says into his phone as he paces back and forth in front of the sock store. “What do you think I should do?”
Tiptoeing behind him, I try to stay close enough to hear him, yet far away enough that I don’t appear too obvious. It’s a tough balance of keeping my pace quick, slow, then quick again. Just when I’ve found a good rhythm and have a routine down that vaguely resembles a two-step shuffle, Shane stops in his tracks. My own feet keep going, pushing me straight into his firm back.
Shane spins around and steadies me with both hands on my shoulders. “Whoa! Are you okay, Hope?”
“I’m fine, totally fine!” We’re standing so close to each other like we were in the store when it had looked like he was leaning. My mind must be playing tricks on me and making it seem like he enjoys being close to me. It’s all those romance books I’ve been reading. Shane’s just being his helpful self. And I’m on a dating sabbatical, I so helpfully remind myself. But even if I wasn’t, he’s the last guy I should be considering.
We live in different states. I’m older and ready to settle down. He’s still young and probably wants to live a little first. And there’s the small, little fact that he’s Amelia’s brother, someone I’ve known since he was in his single digits.
Speaking of Amelia…
“Are you talking to Ryder?” I demand to know. Arching an eyebrow, I pin Shane in place with a disappointed glare. “How can you associate with your sister’s enemy behind her back?”
“I was.” Shane raises his hands in a show of surrender, with his phone clutched in one of them. He must have finished the call because the screen is dark. “Hey, relax. I come in peace.”
“Uh-huh,” I reply, thoroughly unconvinced. With my arms crossed, I stand my ground—literally. Pretty soon, we’re stopping traffic on the sidewalk as the other tourists are forced to go around us. We receive a couple of glares ourselves, which I return with sheepish smiles.
“I think it’s safer if we sit.” He points to an empty bench a couple of feet away, then gestures for me to follow. “Who said anything about being enemies? I thought my sister and Ry parted on good terms.”
“Not according to the collection of empty ice cream cartons and boxes of chocolate that Ames went through after the breakup.” I take a seat beside him and both of us angle our bodies to face each other. It’s a strange show of synchronization that I’d be more impressed about if I wasn’t being so cautious. “What did Ryder want?”
“He’s been trying to reach Amelia and got worried when she didn’t answer his calls or texts.”
I’m digesting this piece of information like a detective. If he’s worried about her not replying, does that mean she had been?
“Yes, they’ve been talking,” Shane answers my question before I can even ask it.
“How did you know I was thinking that?”
“It was the first question I asked Ry about, too.”
It’s oddly disconcerting how Shane and I are on the same wavelength. And that he still calls his sister’s ex by his nickname. “Ames didn’t mention that to me. I wonder how long they’ve been talking. And about what?”
Shane shrugs. “Who knows? Maybe Ry needed medical advice?”
“But he’s a doctor.”
“Like I said, who knows? It’s really none of our business.”
“None of our business? This is my best friend we’re talking about. And your flesh and blood.”
He scoffs softly. “If there’s anything Amelia has taught me, it’s to keep my nose out of anything and everything that’s hers. She made it real clear when she found me peeking in her middle school diary.”
“You read her diary?! That’s a total invasion of privacy!” I exclaim, wincing inwardly at the fact that I had invaded his a moment ago. My conscience really has the worst—I mean, the best—timing.
“I did.” Shane nods. “It wasn’t one of my proudest moments, I’ll admit. Nor Amelia’s. The number of crushes she had in eighth grade alone…” He puts his fingertips on his temples and forms an O with his mouth. “It’s a miracle she almost settled down with Ry.”
Shane’s adorable mind-blown expression makes me want to smile, but I tell myself this is no laughing matter. “Almost being the key word. Need I remind you that it was Ryder who kept putting off the wedding date? I know we’re supposed to love our enemies, but I still haven’t found it in me to forgive him for doing that to Ames. Why propose if you’re not going to follow through?”
“Maybe he felt pressured? Amelia can be a bit—how should I put it—bossy?”
“It was a rhetorical question, Shaney.”
“And that was a rhetorical answer that I gave you. Anyhow, in the words of someone wise I know—don’t knock something until you’ve tried it.” He nudges my knee with his and shoots me a droll smile. “Loving your enemies can be kind of fun and satisfying.”
“Fun? How?”
“There’s that verse in Romans that says something like if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he’s thirsty, give him water to drink. When you do those things, you heap coals of fire on their head. It’s like saying, ‘Ha, take that!’, but in a loving way.”
I try hard to keep a straight face, but Shane looks so proud of himself as if he just said the perfect punchline to a joke. Which I suppose he kind of did. There’s really no better answer to anything than an applicable Bible verse. “How are you so wise?”
He sighs and shakes his head dramatically. “So, you think I’m gorgeous, cute, sweet, hilarious, and wise? I can’t take credit for what the good Lord made, but I’ll pass on the compliment.”
I don’t even try to stop my eyes from rolling. “I meant that you’re pretty wise for someone your age. Guys in their twenties, or at least the ones I’ve known, don’t always have their priorities straight.”
“You make it sound like I’m from a different generation. We’re only three years apart. I’m a full-grown adult just like you. I earn a living and pay my bills on time. I’m saving up for my own place, too, although at the rate that the housing prices are rising in the Bay Area, it’ll probably be a cozy one. Unless I move to the Grand Canyon State.”
“Whoa, what? You want to move to Arizona?”
Shane’s smile widens, showing off a set of pearly whites that look even brighter in the sunlight. “I’m starting to consider it. I hear they have great places to hike and multiple species of cacti. Not to mention, an abundance of bugs.”
“I forgot how much you liked bugs when you were a kid.” I shudder involuntarily at the mention of creepy crawlies. “But seriously, where is this coming from? You can see bugs at the zoo or museum. You don’t need to uproot your whole life to see them.”
“Sure. But there’s also the fact that someone I like lives in Arizona. And I wouldn’t mind being able to see her more often.”
“You have a friend who lives there? I didn’t know—oh!” It dawns on my shocked brain that Shane is referring to me. I’m that someone he’d like to see more of. How do I know this? Because he’s placed his arm along the back of the bench and he’s leaning—again! And this time, there’s a look in his hazel eyes that I recognize. It’s the same look that used to be there when he was thirteen. A look of longing and vulnerability that makes me realize that Shane didn’t only have a crush on me when he was a teenager, he has a crush on me now.
Shane Morgan likes me!
“It’s you, Hope,” he remarks, confirming my suspicion, once and for all. “I’m really enjoying our time together, and I’d like more of it. I know it may sound like I’m making an impulsive decision?—”
“I would have to agree with you on that point,” I cut in gently, “but go on.”
He holds my gaze, unblinking. “I make split-second decisions all the time in my work. I arrive on the scene, assess the situation, and make the call that’s best for the patient. There’s no time for me to second-guess myself. You could call me an expert in spontaneous decision-making. So, trust me when I say I’ve assessed the situation and I’m making the best call.”
“That’s, um, great.” My heart pounds as I manage an uneasy smile. “The thing is, I have complete faith in your abilities as an EMT. You totally look like you could carry someone out of a burning building if you had to or bandage a wound or do CPR. But relationships are a completely different beast.”
“Well, I usually leave the carrying to the firefighters, but I am trained in stitching wounds and mouth-to-mouth. Although, the focus now is on hands-only CPR because it keeps the blood circulating better when you don’t have to stop and give the patient rescue breaths. So, no more mouth-to-mouth.”
Those three words inexplicably draw my attention to Shane’s mouth, and I can’t help noticing how supple his lips are… which is so not the point of this conversation. I swallow hard and force my eyes upwards.
“Do I sense a hint of disappointment?” he asks.
“Huh? About what?”
“That mouth-to-mouth is no longer the preferred method of resuscitation. But don’t worry, I can make an exception for vacation associates.”
My mind goes blank. I want to give a witty comeback, but I have no words. How can Shane joke at a time like this? And vacation associates with an S? How many girls does he go on trips with? And why is that any of my business?
A couple of deep breaths later, and I finally have enough oxygen to my brain to respond. Softening my tone, I decide to speak the truth. “Shaney, you’re an amazing guy. You have such a big heart—I mean, you literally save people on a regular basis.”
“It’s mostly giving first aid. Although I did deliver a baby on the side of the road once when I was off duty.”
“See? You helped bring life into this world when you weren’t even working! Not only that, you already know how handsome, smart, and funny I think you are.”
“I believe the exact words you used were gorgeous, cute, sweet, hilarious, and wise.” He shoots me a cheeky grin. “But, please, go on.”
I can’t help but smile back. “You’re a great catch, Shaney, but I don’t know that I’m the right person for you.”
He holds up a hand to stop me from continuing. “If you’re going to give me the it’s me, not you spiel, I’ll save you the trouble. I know I jumped the gun here in letting you know how I feel about you, but I believe God gave us this opportunity to see each other again and that we could be good together. I’d like you to consider it, Hope. Give yourself time to think it over and pray about it. We’ll use the next couple of days together as a test to see if you get sick of me,” he adds with a chuckle. “After that, you can give me an answer.”
“You expect me to have an answer for you after a day or two? This is a huge decision to make. There’s also the fact that I’m on a dating sabbatical. I shouldn’t even be thinking about guys right now.”
“Not guys, plural. Just one guy—me.” Shane’s smile keeps getting brighter. “As for the sabbatical, if it’s dating that you’re not allowed to do, we won’t date.”
“What are you suggesting then?”
“The old-fashioned method of courting. It’s like dating but with the end goal of marriage. That’s how my folks did it.”
“Hold up! Marriage?! We just met, Shaney! How can you be talking about getting married?”
“Correction—we met nearly two decades ago. And why shouldn’t we talk about marriage? I want to be clear with you from the get-go where I stand. That way you know I’m not wasting your time like Fred and Ned did.”
“I could’ve guessed that since your name doesn’t rhyme with theirs.” The joke comes out easily, as does my laugh. What Shane’s saying is really sweet. And thoughtful and wise. But also, very unbelievable. I want to believe that he has the best intentions, but I’m still getting acquainted with the man sitting before me. He shows traces of the boy I once knew, but he’s obviously grown up to be even more kind and wonderful. I wasn’t lying when I said he’s a great catch. But why would someone that great want to be with me? The best I’ve done is manage to misread the guys in my life, which has only resulted in disappointment, frustration, and most embarrassing of all, stolen luggage.
I shake my head in chagrin. “You deserve an amazing woman, Shaney, you really do. And I’m going to pray that God brings her to you.”
He looks like he wants to say something, but he stands up instead. “Stay here,” he tells me. “I’ll be right back.”
I watch him run into the sock shop and return five minutes later with a bag. He hands it to me with a sweet smile. “I believe God’s already brought that woman to me. Whenever you’re ready to admit that you’re as amazing as I think you are, put these on.”
Curious, I reach in and pull out a pair of white knee-highs. They look like regular socks until I see the words on their soles. When placed side by side, they declare, If you can read this, kiss me now.