Chapter Twenty-Six #2
My head throbs, the dull pulse growing sharper, but the laughter won’t stop. It spills from my lips as I stumble backward, pressing against the cold wall before my legs give out. I slide down, my body curling in on itself as air finally creeps back into my lungs.
I breathe.
Slow, deep breaths.
The burn in my chest eases, just slightly, as the chaos around me fades. The once-blaring music has dulled to a murmur, whispers replacing drunken laughter.
My eyes remain shut, warmth pooling at my chin. I rest my forehead against my knees, wrapping my arms around myself, holding tight.
I think I’m rocking.
I feel the motion, but it’s involuntary, my body swaying like a broken pendulum.
“Dee?”
A soft voice cuts through the haze.
Anna.
Beautiful, wonderful Anna.
I force my eyes open, blinking at her blurred figure as she crouches beside me. She reaches out, her hands warm against my cheeks, gently wiping away the tears and whatever else is staining my skin.
Her face is a fog, but I see enough to know she’s crying too. Her brows are pulled tight, her lips parted in quiet worry.
“Is this a dream?” I murmur, my voice rough, barely a whisper.
Anna swallows hard, her throat bobbing as she shakes her head—just the slightest movement.
And that’s all I need.
No words. No explanations.
Just the truth, sinking into me like a blade.
“Fuuuck,” I scream, causing her to jump.
The pain surges back, sharper, relentless, and tearing through me like it wants to break me.
Desperate to drown it out, I drive my palm into my forehead, again and again, the impact sending sharp jolts through my skull.
Before I can do it again, Anna’s hand catches mine, gripping tight. “Stop,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion.
But stopping means feeling.
And I don’t know if I can survive that.
“Dee, stop hurting yourself.” Anna takes hold of both of my hands.
“I… I… didn’t think you were coming back,” a strong but broken voice softly breaks through the fog.
I look up.
Colt is sitting on the floor opposite me.
He’s terrified, but more importantly, he’s high.
Anger.
Resentment.
Pain.
God, the pain.
It’s un-fucking-bearable.
Just looking at his face, eyes struggling to stay open as he blinks rapidly, makes me want to die.
“I hate you,” I mumble.
“Dee—”
“I. Hate. You,” I yell loudly.
He flinches.
“How could you? You know how much I love you, Colt. I would’ve done anything, gone anywhere, been anyone for you. I. Fucking. Loved. You!”
“L-loved?” his voice cracks.
“Yes, loved, as in past tense. How can I love a drug fucked cheater?” I spit at him.
His head dips like he’s falling asleep and then jolts back up instantly.
“Oh, my God. You’re so bloody high you probably won’t even remember this damn conversation.”
“You left me, Dee! You. Left. Me,” he yells.
“I went to visit my sick father, you arsehole. I didn’t leave you.
I was always coming back. You just heard what you wanted to hear.
You talked to me about wanting to go back to your old lifestyle…
” I wave my hands around at the mess in the Penthouse.
“Well, now you can. You want out, Colt? You got it. I’m done! ” I rage out the words.
I watch as his eyes glaze over before closing, his head lolling to the side.
Stepping forward, I give his shoulder a shove. He crumples to the floor, unmoving—except for the slight rise and fall of his chest—until a quiet snore escapes his lips.
My nostrils flare, and I kick his foot hard. “Fuck you, Colter Slade.” I look up at all the people watching me and scream out, “Fuck all of you.” I storm over to my luggage, grab the handle, and start dragging it behind me.
“Good riddance,” Jessi blurts out as I walk past her.
“At least I’m not a nobody vapid whore that’s so loose everyone can see what you’ve had for breakfast every time you open your vulgar, filthy legs,” I spit, meaning every word.
Her mouth drops open, and a few snickers echo around me. I’ve never hated someone the way I despise that woman.
I look over at Colt, passed out, and feel numb. Completely void of all emotion, I walk to Anna, who’s being held by Johnny. “Thanks for everything, Anna. Johnny, you’re a great guy. Look after Anna. She’s a keeper,” I say, leaning in to embrace my best friend for the last time.
She starts to cry as she holds me tightly, not wanting to let me go. “I don’t know how I’ll cope without you here, Dee. Please don’t go,” she begs, pulling at my heart.
“I don’t belong here, Anna. Can’t you see that? I never did. You survived before I came along. You’ll be fine after I’m gone. I can’t stay, not now. Not when my supposed boyfriend, who supposedly loves me, can’t even stay awake long enough to watch me leave him.”
Anna sobs, and a sharp stab penetrates the numbness, but I quickly push it to the side as I let Anna go, and she melts into her husband’s arms.
“I love you, Anna. You’ll always be the best friend I’ve ever had.” Then I walk away with nothing but emptiness as my souvenir.
Stepping into the elevator, I turn back to give a parting glance at the people I once called friends.
Colt’s passed out on the floor, Dingo and Sia are squatting next to him, trying to slap him awake.
Anna is crying into Johnny’s chest. Hux, who is undoubtedly high, is oblivious to what’s going on and couldn’t care less.
The cab ride to the airport is quiet, the early morning air flooding through the open window onto my heated face, awakening my senses as I gaze out at Berlin’s tranquil streets. I’m relieved the flight home to London is just under two hours—anything longer feels unbearable.
Fortunately, Berlin Brandenburg Airport operates twenty-four-seven, so I shouldn’t have to wait long for a flight. I pull a compact from my purse to assess the damage to my forehead.
When I entered the cab, the driver gave me a concerned look, so I suspect there are visible marks on me.
Opening the compact, there’s a vivid purple bruise surrounding a swollen cut on the left side of my forehead.
The ache intensifies as I gently touch the clotted blood over the wound.
A line of semi-dry blood traces down my cheek, and I notice splatters on my white tank top.
I exhale, retrieve a tissue from my purse, and blot the blood from my face.
Upon arrival at the airport, the driver unloads my luggage, his eyes filled with sympathy. We don’t share a common language, but his concern is evident.
Inside the terminal, the bright lights and bustling energy contrast sharply with the turmoil inside me. I approach the ticket counter, hoping to secure the next flight to London. The attendant raises an eyebrow at my appearance but processes my request without comment.
With my boarding pass in hand, I find a restroom to clean up. The cold water against my skin is a stark reminder of reality. I change into a fresh shirt from my carry-on and discard the stained tank top.
As I make my way to the gate, the weight of my decision settles in.
Leaving Colt, leaving Berlin—it’s the hardest choice I’ve ever made, but deep down, I know it’s the right one.
The boarding call finally echoes through the terminal.
I take a deep breath, gather my belongings, and step onto the plane, ready to face whatever comes next. My body operates on autopilot, mechanically moving from point A to point B. Normally, I’d rely on one of Tamara’s magic pills to stave off panic, but now, I feel nothing.
Seated by the plane’s window, I stare into the abyss, watching tiny lights below shrink as we ascend.
My mind drifts…
Where will I go when I land in London?
Returning to the manor is out of the question.
Daddy would relish in telling me, “ ‘I told you so,’ and I’m too angry with him to endure that.
The Rutherford Regent Hotel?
No, too many memories of him linger there.
That leaves only one option…
Joseph.