Chapter Thirty- One
Somehow, I force myself to get out of bed.
It’s midday the next day, but I have dragged my sorry ass out of bed.
I will not let him break me this time!
Joseph and Danny have stayed home, worried I’ll fall in a heap again, but I won’t return to that dark place. So I’ve picked myself up as best I can and head downstairs.
Danny and Joseph are talking in the kitchen.
When I walk in, Danny smiles, giving me that sympathetic look only he can provide.
Joseph turns. “Hey! Didn’t think we would see you today.
” He walks over with his arms outstretched.
I nod in answer, not really in the mood for talking.
He hugs me, and I welcome his embrace. Who would have thought Joseph would be my person?
But as it turns out, he is the one man I can rely on to be there when he says he will.
I know what I’m feeling is resentment, not anger.
I resent the fact he played me like that.
“Want something to eat, princess? Joseph’s made some killer brownies,” Danny says.
I shake my head, saying, “No, thanks,” and walk past them to the living room.
Joseph knows me so well that he knows when I need him and when I need to be left alone. And being left alone is what I need right now. I feel stupid, and I know I only have myself to blame.
Needing a distraction, I open the laptop and log onto my socials. I may want to be alone, but with too much quiet, my mind will take over, drowning me in too many emotions.
The first notification that pops up is from Anna, saying she’s checked into the Rutherford Regent Hotel in Monaco.
I close my eyes, breathe out, and shake my head.
Then I start to wonder, if I do some Google searching, I might be able to figure out where he was last night.
I look over my shoulder at the guys, and they’re both busy in the kitchen, so I turn back, open the search engine, and type in his name and the date.
Links start to pop up on the screen.
Most of them are reporting that the brothers of 12GAUGE-Slayed are trying to slay each other.
I crease my brows, opening the first link.
At the top of the page are photographs taken outside a bar in Monaco, with him holding Hux by the scruff of his shirt.
He looks furious. Then, there are more pictures of him talking to a girl who looks like Anna.
It’s hard to make out, and he’s running his hand through his hair.
The next one is of him sitting at the bar with a stein of beer and tons of empty shot glasses.
Figures!
So, from what I can piece together, he and Hux fought, Anna tried to calm him down, and then he got drunk to forget. I’ve seen all I need to, so I go to close Google, but a thought comes to mind. I type in Google Alerts and sit, staring at the screen for a minute.
Do I want to be alerted to everything that comes up about him?
I hesitate, knowing that feeding this temptation—seeing his name, his face, his life plastered across my screen every day—will only make it worse. But I can’t stop myself.
Every piece of him I can cling to is the only thing keeping my heart beating.
So, like the complete, out-of-my-mind idiot I am, I type his name into the alert settings and send the updates straight to my email.
Let the self-destruction begin.
***
Over the next week, my inbox fills with pings from Google Alerts, each one another gut punch.
Every article paints the same tragic picture—‘he who shall not be named’ is spiraling, fueled by drugs and alcohol.
One report claims he walked into an after-party with white powder dusting his nose, the paparazzi snapping up their million-dollar shots. Another says he was found lying in a gutter on a street in Monaco, barely conscious, just two days after my breakdown.
The police picked him up. Found a bag of cocaine on him. Charged him with possession. But because there were only remnants left, he managed to walk away with nothing more than a fine. It’s impressive what fame can do for you.
Then there’s the mugshot.
His disheveled hair. His vacant, bloodshot eyes. The rugged face that once made my heart race now haunts me.
Rumors swirl—whispers of 12GAUGE-Slayed breaking up after the tour. Fans are leaving mid-concert because the brothers are fighting on stage. Because he is so ‘off his face’ he doesn’t even know what song he’s singing.
Word is, Rob Luxley wants to drop them.
He’s a mess.
And he looks it.
In every image, every grainy paparazzi shot, he’s not much different from that unkempt, hollow-eyed version of himself in his mugshot.
He’s nothing like the man who once owned every stage he set foot on—untouchable, electric, larger than life.
He’s nothing like the rock god I knew.
And even though I despise him for breaking my heart, a deep, aching sadness settles in my chest because I know exactly who’s responsible.
Hux.
I cannot forgive him for dragging him back into this life, for putting temptation right in front of him when he was already so close to losing control. And now, ever since that night—the night he never called—he’s been falling. Fast.
I hope someone can reach him before he loses everything he’s worked so hard for.
Before there’s nothing left to save.
And for what?
A hit of white powder?
What a joke!
Making a conscious decision, I turn Google Alerts off and slam my laptop shut.
No more.
I’m done.
I can’t watch him destroy himself anymore.
Tomorrow, I start fresh—a life without Colter Slade.
The thought sparks something unexpected. I can finally say his name without falling apart.
That realization fuels my resolve.
Tomorrow, I’m leaving this house.
I won’t sit in this condo a second longer, drowning in what will never be.
***
Joseph is coming with me. He knows I haven’t stepped foot outside this condo since I arrived and knows what a big deal this is for me.
I’m finally facing reality and leaving my demons behind.
A fresh start.
I even bought a new phone with a different number—just one more step toward cutting ties with the past.
Last night, Daddy and Mummy came over.
Joseph held them off as long as he could, but eventually, they got through the door. Surprisingly, there were no ‘I told you so,’ no ‘you should have listened to us.’ In fact, they barely said anything at all.
Maybe they’re just relieved Joseph’s taking care of me.
Danny wasn’t home, which was probably for the best. Joseph still hasn’t told my parents he’s gay, and I doubt he ever will. I’m pretty sure he’d rather break his own thumb than drop that little bombshell on Daddy.
“You ready to go, sweetie?” Joseph asks, handing me my handbag and taking the keys from the kitchen counter.
“Sure am,” I reply confidently—at least on the surface—but inside, that confidence wavers as reality presses down on me.
Stepping outside means more than just fresh air.
It means facing a world that kept moving while I fell apart.
It means proving to myself that I can do this, that I can exist without him.
And I’m not sure I’m ready for that.
Joseph takes my hand, and we walk to the front door.
I stop, staring at it for a moment, the weight of this step pressing down on me harder than it should. Joseph doesn’t hesitate—he wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close.
“It’s okay. I got you, princess. Every damn step of the way,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of my head before reaching for the handle.
The door swings open.
Joseph gasps.
I snap my head up to look at him, then follow his gaze to the doorstep.
Anna and Johnny stand there, their eyes cold, their lips curled in disdain.
My breath catches.
My mouth falls open.
My stomach twists violently, and I can’t tell if it’s from sheer terror or an electric jolt of excitement.
“Can I help you?” Joseph asks while he pulls into a protective hold.
Time has stopped.
There’s only the faint buzz of my heartbeat in my ears.
I’m staring firmly at my past.
“Yeah!” Johnny sticks his hand out to shake with Joseph. “I’m Johnny, and this is my missus, Anna.”
“Joseph,” he introduces himself. “Um… do we know you?”
I stare at Anna, my chest tightening at the unmistakable look of disgust in her eyes. It cuts deeper than I expect, and much deeper than I’m prepared for.
“Um… you don’t, but Dee does. If this is a bad time, we can come back,” Johnny says, shifting awkwardly.
“No, it’s fine.”
Joseph’s arm stays firm around my shoulders, his warmth grounding me. He looks down at me, concern etched in his face. “Dee, are you okay?” His voice is gentle, but his eyes say something else entirely… Do you want me to kick them out?
Do I?
I swallow hard and can’t hold back the tears as I look at beautiful, gorgeous Anna, who continues to stare at me with hatred and disgust in her eyes.
“Hey…” Joseph says, holding me tightly.
“Look, we’ll go. We didn’t mean to upset you, Dee,” Johnny says.
Fear stabs at me that they’re about to leave.
Get your act together, Dee!
I look at Anna, pleading with my eyes for her to stay.
“No, we came here for a reason and need to carry it through, Johnny. I don’t care how upset she is,” Anna says, huffing, then folding her arms across her chest in a defiant move I don’t understand.
“It’s not like she’s upset because she misses Colt. She’s obviously moved on.” The words are said with cold-stone malice.
I look up at Joseph, whose face is stern.
“Excuse me? I don’t care who you are or how you know Dee, but you will not come to our house and treat her poorly when she’s already having a hard enough time just trying to leave the damn house.
You have no idea what she’s been through or the mess she’s been in since she left him.
You’re friends of his, and the night he never called her, well…
it broke her. Something inside my happy, loving Dee broke, which was entirely Colt’s fault. ”