Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
“Give my love to Karen,” I said as I hugged Drake. “Bring the rug-rats over anytime. I miss them.”
He gave me a long look. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
“For the last time, I’m fine. Now scram.”
The big man sighed, then gave Adam the side eye. “Good meeting you, Beckett.”
Adam barely suppressed a grin as he held out his hand. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Drake. It’s good to see that Zoe has such a strong support system.”
Drake squinted as he shook Adam’s hand. “And don’t you forget it.”
“I won’t.”
Then Drake squatted down so that he was at James’ level. He held out his hand. “It was good meeting you, little man.”
James looked at my brother’s hand, which was the size of the boy’s face, then carefully shook it. “It was nice meeting you too, Mr. Drake.”
Drake stood up and looked at Angelica. “I suppose you’re staying?”
“Of course,” she said with a bright smile. “Somebody needs to get all the details of the other night. It has all the makings for a good movie.”
“You’re a nut.”
“A Brazil nut.”
Drake pulled her in for a hug, then left.
“I like Mr. Drake. He’s big.”
“That he is,” Adam laughed. “Is there any other reason you like him?”
“He’s nice, and funny, too.”
“Good. Because big isn’t a broad enough criteria.”
James peered up at his father and tilted his head in confusion. “What’s broad ‘nuf cafeteria mean?”
Adam sighed and looked at me. “I really stepped in it.” He looked down at his son. “I’ll explain it to you in the car.”
James looked at me. “Can I come back?”
“Absolutely. I liked watching you beat Angelica at Mario Kart.”
James looked up at Angelica. “Will you be here too, Miss Angel?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Bring your dad, okay?”
“I haf to, he drives me.”
“Oh yeah. Good point.” Angelica smiled at the boy, a smile she then transferred to Adam. “I had a good time getting a chance to meet you both. I look forward to seeing you both a lot more. Don’t lose my number. I expect to be babysitting many times in the coming weeks.”
Adam’s face reddened. It wasn’t because she was a famous actress. It was because she was a busybody whose matchmaking was extremely obvious. For an award-winning actress, subtlety wasn’t exactly her strong suit.
“Is Miss Angel coming to our house?” James asked.
“Or you’re going to come to my house, Munchkin. I’ll have a Nintendo Switch by the time you arrive, and I’ll have practiced Mario Kart so I can give you a run for your money the next time we play.”
James frowned.
“That means I’m going to practice so I can beat you the next time we play Mario Kart.”
James giggled. “You’d have to practice a real lot.”
I started laughing and so did Adam. I loved this kid.
“And on that note, we better get going. Zoe, thanks for dinner, you really didn’t need to feed us. But we appreciated it.”
“Anytime.”
I bent down and hugged James, then stood up and was confronted by Adam and stared. Hug? Thank God he took the decision out of my hands, and leaned over James and gave me a hug. Kind of awkward because we had a four-year-old between us, but it did the trick. I wanted more, but…
Gah! I’m a mess.
“Well, see you later.”
“You’ll be hearing from me soon, Zoe,” Adam promised. He turned to Angelica and gave her a much less awkward hug. “And so will you.”
“I better.” She grinned.
I closed the door behind Adam and James, and Angelica immediately turned on me. “I want to hear everything. Every tiny detail.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to hear every tiny detail, not if you ever want to have a baby of your own.”
“This was the man who came to your rescue?! This fine, dreamy hero? Are you kidding me? Please tell me you have a good bottle of wine.” She headed for the kitchen. “And that little boy. I was serious, this has Hallmark movie written all over it.”
“Except for the part where I yelled ‘Fuck’ at the top of my lungs,” I muttered as I followed her.
“You did no such thing,” she said as she reached for the bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon hiding in the back of my cupboard. “You did not say naughty words in front of James, at least not loud enough so he could hear them.” She peered at the label. “Oh goody, I love Oregon wines.”
Angelica found my bottle opener and soon had two glasses poured for us. I pulled out some Ritz crackers and Velveeta cheese, my favorites, and brought them to the living room.
“Yummy,” she cooed. “I don’t know how I could still be hungry, but I am.”
“Me, too.”
We dug in, then she turned to me and gave me a serious look. “Now spill.”
“I already told all of you everything while I was in the hospital.”
“You sure as hell did not. I saw the way Adam looked at you. That man is smitten.”
I coughed, almost choking on my cracker. “Smitten? Who says that?”
“I do. It fits.”
“Whatever.”
“What’s more, you’re smitten, too.” She looked at me over the rim of her wine glass. “Actually, I take that back. You’re more than smitten, you’re captivated, and it’s not because of his son, he’s just a bonus.”
I looked down at the plate in my hand.
“What?” she asked. “Did I say something wrong?”
“I agree, James is adorable.” I bit my lower lip. I really didn’t want to say anything more.
“Spill it, Avery.”
I didn’t look up. I couldn’t.
“Honey,” Angelica’s voice was low and encouraging. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Am I liking Adam because of James? I mean, I just had to give away a baby. Am I just… filling a void?”
Angelica didn’t immediately respond, which I so appreciated. She was really thinking about it.
“Have you cried yet?”
My head shot up, and I looked into her concerned brown eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“Have you cried about losing Olivia.”
“Why would I do that? I didn’t lose her. She went to Chloe and Zarek, exactly as we all planned.”
Angelica’s face softened. “I know that, and you know that, but deep down in your heart, where you nurtured that little girl in your body for nine months—”
“Eight months.”
“Whatever. In so many ways, Olivia was your daughter, and you had to give her away.”
My mouth tightened. “That’s not true. I can’t believe you even said that.”
Angelica put her hand over mine, and I ripped it away. “Seriously, Angelica, I knew what I was doing from day one. Olivia was made from Zarek’s sperm and Chloe’s ovum. She was their daughter. I was just the host.” I felt my chin tremble.
Angelica didn't rush to comfort me or argue the point. She just sat there, quiet and steady, and waited. Which is exactly why I loved my friend.
"It's not like I didn't know going in," I said.
My voice came out smaller than I intended.
"I knew exactly what I was doing. I'm not…
I'm not sad about it. I made the right choice.
Chloe's been my best friend since before we were born and Zarek’s the best. Olivia is exactly where she's supposed to be. "
"Zoe,” Angelica whispered.
"I'm fine."
"Zoe,” Angelica said my name just a tiny bit louder.
"I said I'm—"
The first tear caught me completely off guard. I blinked, furious, and pressed the back of my hand against my cheek like I could just put it back.
I couldn't.
Angelica took the plate off my lap before it fell on the floor and put it on the coffee table. She didn't say anything. She didn't pull me into a hug or hand me a tissue or do any of the things that would have let me get mad at her. Instead, she just let me sink into my feelings.
The wench. She must have learned it in acting school or something.
“Do you know the worst part?”
Angelica shook her head.
“Tonight when everybody was eating cheeseburgers I had to leave the room to express milk for a baby I had to give away. How is that fair?”
“It’s not.”
I started to cry in earnest.
“Chloe and Zarek have offered to bring Olivia by three times, but that would just make things worse. I need to distance. I need to accept I’m just her aunt. You know?”
I grabbed up a paper towel from the coffee table and blew my nose.
“I know, Honey.”
“I miss her so much. I miss talking to her. I talked to Olivia everyday when she was inside me.” I looked up at Angelica. “Do you think she misses me?”
“I’m sure she does.”
I swallowed. “But she has Chloe. She has Zarek. They love her so much.” I hiccupped.
“They do.”
“Most of the time I’m so happy about this, but sometimes it just hurts. You know? And I don’t want to tell anyone in my family. Drake is a practicing psychologist. He wants me to open up to him, but I just can’t.”
“Do you think you should see someone?”
“I already did. That was part of this whole process. They wanted to make sure I had my head on straight and could handle the… the… hand off.”
At that point, Angelica leaned in and put her arms around me. “You’re doing beautifully. Of course you’re sad.”
“But I’m not.” I sniffed. “I’m happy.”
Angelica laughed. “Uh-huh.”
“I am. Most of the time.”
“Promise to call me the times you’re not happy, okay?”
I pulled back and looked her in the eye. “You know, this is the first time I’ve cried about giving Olivia up.”
“I’d say you needed it.”
I gave a small smile. “I’d say you’re right.” I looked down at the crackers and cheese. They didn’t look all that appealing. “I think it’s time for some ice cream.”
“If you get out the ice cream, are you going to tell me more about Adam Beckett?” Angelica waggled her eyebrows.
“Depends what flavor Trenda stocked my freezer with.”
“If she didn’t get you the good stuff, I’ll make a store run. Because I damn well want all the details.”
I wiped my face and laughed.
“Deal.”