10. Veronica
The two nights following our session, I couldn’t sleep. Leo’s face haunted me every damn time my eyes shut. It did not haunt me in a bad way, but whenever I closed my eyes, I saw the red tint that flooded his face, the sliver of want in his eyes.
It made me squirm in bed while I recalled the heat that had risen in my stomach during the session. It got to the point when I was attempting to force myself to sleep that the images made me annoyingly wet between my legs.
I touched myself more than I will admit to the thought of him the past two days.
Thankfully, I have a single room. Although, it”s not like having a roommate would stop me.
Yesterday, I didn’t get the privilege of seeing his stunning face. Either he was avoiding me, or he was wrapped up in work. Hopefully, the latter because I’d hate it if he deliberately tried to stay away.
I won’t see him alone again until Tuesday, which means I have time to plan more things out. The flirting was working in the tiniest bit. He is a man. Of course, it would work to an extent.
Men would have sex with any woman no matter what. As long as they have a warm vagina to stick their dick into, they are content.
It’s utterly disgusting.
The sound of the dull knife hitting the plastic cutting board lying beneath it reverberates in my ears. The blade slices into the Gala apple in my grasp, one side of the fruit toppling over as soon as the knife is all the way through.
Deep in my thoughts of the past few days, I didn’t realize someone entered my personal space. My hand freezes, and my breathing picks up as I sense a bubbly personality standing beside me.
“Hi, Ronnie.”
Why the hell does Eliza keep bothering me?
Without acknowledging her, I continue slicing the apple, attempting to pretend she isn’t next to me. The tap of her slipper takes over the sound of the metal hitting the board. I stop cutting, tilt my head back, and let out a loud groan.
“What could you possibly want now?” My eyes shut as I await her response.
“Nothing,” she answers without a second thought.
I shoot my eyes open, turning my head to look at her. “Then why do you keep insisting on talking to me?”
She shrugs. “No one else wants to talk to me.”
“I wonder why,” I mutter under my breath, focusing on the apple I’m supposed to be cutting.
“I thought that since I’m newer and you’re the only one that has acknowledged me, we can start having our meals together.”
My head snaps up at her suggestion. This isn’t happening. If people see me getting friendly with another patient, then anyone will want to befriend me.
The thought of having friends causes me to shiver in disgust. Inhaling a sharp breath, I notice her hand resting on the counter.
It”s time to get my point across.
In a swift move, I raise the knife and slam the tip into the wooden counter, a centimeter away from her hand. Eliza’s entire body jumps, distancing her from the object.
“What makes you think you can keep talking to me?” I rip the knife out of the counter, bringing the tip to meet the underside of her chin. “Talking to me is a privilege. One that I don’t allow anyone, so why do you think you’ve earned that right?”
“I-I don’t…” she stutters.
“I... I...” I mock her with a laugh. “I don’t want or need any friends. I am content being alone.” I press the tip of the knife into her a bit more, pricking the skin. “Leave me the fuck alone. If you don’t, I’ll do more damage with this blade the next time you approach me.”
Her eyes are wide, the brown and green in them flaring with fear. Good. She swallows hard, and I watch as her throat bobs from the action before lowering the knife.
“Veronica Rollins!” A voice I know all too well.
My head falls to the side, and I make eye contact with the old woman. “Hello, Edith.”
“Unbelievable.” She huffs out a breath. “They just allowed you back in the kitchen after the last incident! Eliza, dear, you are excused.”
Eliza nods, not sparing me one last glance before exiting the kitchen. “She keeps bothering me.”
“She wants a friend, Veronica. Eliza is new. You, of all people, know how hard it was when you first started here.”
“And look how I turned out!” I flash a smile, but the dishonesty drops as soon as it appears on my face. “I’m not the friend type, Edith, you know this. If she were to stay in my orbit, she’d only get hurt.”
She shakes her head. “You are lucky. I will keep this between us. Eliza, on the other hand, who knows if she will run to Dr. Bennett.”
“Eh, let her tell him.” I shrug, turning back to the neatly lined-up apples courtesy of me.
Edith steps in my peripheral. “He’ll send you to solitary for threatening a fellow patient.”
I lift my eyes, staring at the weekly lunch menu on the corkboard. My jaw tightens at the thought of being sent there again.
“That’s what I thought. I will go after Eliza and tell her not to bring it up. Try to control your anger, Veronica, or you will lose your duty in the kitchen for good. And worse, we will have to get you back into anger management classes.”
“Fuck that.” I spit, shaking my head.
“Then behave.” Edith’s voice is full of authority. She huffs out another disappointed breath before walking away.
I sense the stares of the other girls working in here. Their whispers are light as a feather while discussing the events before them. Letting out a sigh, I pick up where I left off and cut the next apple, their gossip turning into nothing.
The rest of the day, I grabbed a book from the little shelf in the library and sat in my room. I didn’t want Eliza trying to come up to me again, even if I thought my threat was enough, but with her, who the hell knows?
As I approach the middle of this garbage book, I realize it’s not what I’m typically into. A guard peeks into my room, informing me it is dinnertime.
I might as well bring this book with me, seeing as it didn’t pull me in like the others. I’ll return it before dinner.
Deciding against putting on my slippers, I walk down the hall in my socks. I hate wearing shoes because my feet feel like they will suffocate with the lack of space.The common room is empty, except for the last few girls exiting the door as I try to get in.
After squeezing past them, I go to the bookshelf and slide the book back in its place. Craning my neck, I focus on the words written on the spines, hoping something will jump out at me.
The dull chatter in the cafeteria next door filters lightly into the common room. Laughter meets my ears, and the soft noise makes my skin crawl.
Maybe I’ll wait longer to eat. Being around that many people does not sound like a good time. My fingertip traces along the books while I chew on my bottom lip, waiting for one to jump out at me.
Two new voices in the hall make my finger pause, and my eyes snap up to the next shelf even though I’m not focused on the books. The voices I heard merely seconds ago are different.
The patients” laughter is now distant in the cafeteria as I hone in on the two new people.
A male and a female.
Talking as if they were old friends.
It doesn’t take me long to realize it is Leo. I can make out his voice anywhere, but the other? It isn’t Edith. No, this woman sounds younger. I shift my head to the side, and out of the corner of my eye, I can see red hair just from the view of the doorway.
“How are things going on your end?” Leo asks her, sounding pretty intrigued.
“You know, same old.” She sighs. “None of the patients have tried to harm themselves or others in the past couple of days, so I take that as a win.”
“A win indeed,” Leo agrees with the woman. “By the way, you still owe me that tour.”
“I do, don’t I?” Is she flirting with him? Now, that won’t do. “Once I’m done making my rounds tonight, I can come find you.”
“I’d like that.” For fuck’s sake, if I have to hear another flirty sentence come out of their mouths, I’m going to hurl.
Ditching the books, I spin on my heel and head for the door. Both stop speaking when my foot passes the threshold, their eyes finding mine.
The redhead offers a warm smile while Leo stares at me with wonder hidden in his eyes. Does he think I am going to say something rude? Normally, I would, but with my plan, I have to play nice.
“Dr. Madden,” I say his name as a greeting while my head nods slightly.
“Hello, Veronica,” he responds. “How are you doing this evening?”
My eyes stay trained on his, not yet giving the woman the time of day. “Fine. Off to grab some dinner.”
“I heard they are serving pizza tonight!” the lady says, my eyes sliding over to hers. “I’m Nurse Scarlet Quinn.”
“You have two first names?” Why is she introducing herself as if we don’t already know each other? I allow my eyes to dip down to her extended hand. Which I don’t take. “That’s odd.”
“Quinn is my last name, but I guess it seems a bit odd.” Her smile is warm.
She is so fucking pretty.
I hate it.
Leo stares at me, waiting for me to do the right thing and introduce myself. She already knows who I am, but I will do it to please him. “Veronica Rollins.”
“Ah! The infamous Veronica.” Is she seriously taking this route? Alright then. I can play along. “I’ve heard about you from some other patients.”
“All bad things, I hope.” I grin as Leo shifts uncomfortably beside us. “Are you newer?
“No, I am not newer. I don’t work on your ward. I’m in Ward R.”
Oh, I know.
I hum in approval. “And did you hear about me from your patients?”.
“A few who used to be on this ward with you had to come to mine,” she lies. “Other than that, when I am in this ward in passing, a few of the patients here have mentioned your name. As you said, all bad things.”
Leo clears his throat to warn Scarlet not to talk this way to me. I don’t mind it, though. I admire the higher-ups who have the balls to do so.
“I am glad my reputation proceeds me.” I take a small bow, to which Scarlet gives a quiet laugh.
“Well, as much fun as this was,” I say sarcastically, “there is a slice of pizza calling my name.”
“I’ll walk you.” Leo offers before he says goodbye to the pretty redhead.
I don’t wait for him to walk with me. As I start down the hall to the cafeteria, I hear his footsteps following behind me. There aren’t many patients in the cafeteria, which is good; that’s what I wanted.
I go up to the long metal counter where the foods are on display. Red was right. There is pizza tonight.
Seeing the food and smelling the delicious scent makes me almost grateful I’m not in prison. That food would have looked and tasted like shit. Here at Black Lake, they try to make everything as normal as possible for us.
Pulling a slice of pepperoni onto my paper plate, I lift a finger to my mouth to lick the grease off. As my tongue pokes out, I sense Leo’s eyes on me.
With his attention on my movements, I slide my finger past my lips, wrapping them around the digit before slowly pulling it out. When my innocent eyes find him, they drop to his broad chest, where his breathing has picked up.
“How were you able to meet that nurse if she works on a different ward?” I move down the line, inspecting the side options. Fries... pudding... jello? Gross.
“Dr. Bennett set something up for me to meet the other workers.”
“You already seem pretty friendly with her.” I pick up a paper boat full of fries. “So friendly, in fact, that you want her to give you a tour. Of what, Leo?” I twist to face him. “Her body?”
“The facility,” he corrects me, his jaw tight. “She offered to show me around since I’m new.”
“How nice of her.” There”s that sarcastic tone again. When my eyes drop to the pizza, I realize Leo has also grabbed food. “Will you be joining me for dinner?”
“No. I have some work to do. I’ll be taking this back to my office.”
“Bummer.” I sigh. “I could have used the company.”
His eyes search my face before glancing to the right. I follow his stare to find Eliza eating alone. “Maybe you can sit with Eliza and make amends with her.”
Quickly, my eyes snap back to him. “Who told you?”
“Edith.” Of course, she did. “She told me to keep it quiet from Dr. Bennett. I was going to wait to bring it up in our next session.”
“Then save it for our next session,” I say through clenched teeth.
“It wouldn”t hurt to have a friend here, Veronica.”
“For Satan”s sake, I do not need friends!” The anger inside me is billowing. Why the hell does everyone assume I need an asylum buddy?
Leo slowly nods his head. “We can talk more on Tuesday.”
Before he goes, he flashes a warm smile. A nice professional smile that will stay plastered in my mind as I touch myself again tonight to the thought of him.